Something Has To Be Real
by RestlessIdeas
Summary: "Katniss, because were going to be pretending the whole time. I need to at least know that a part of this has to be real. So, can we be friends?" I look at Peeta to see if he's serious. He has a point, if our relationship is fake. I don't want our friendship to be fake too. Katniss learns more about Peeta's love for her. Victory Tour.
1. Friends?

**This is a new story I'm writing. This story is about Katniss' thoughts on Peeta's feelings for her. The guilt that overtakes her every now and then. Please enjoy it and make sure you review.**

DISCLAIMER : I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING HUNGER GAMES RELATED.

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**_CHAPTER ONE: FRIENDS_**

"No one cares Effie!"

I look around the table and see the dumbfounded faces and I feel the need to defend myself. I mean, even Haymitch is giving me a weird look.

"Well, no one does." I continue and make my way outside of the train and walk down the railway until I think I've gone long enough, and I sit down.

In a matter of minutes I can hear someone walking to me. Probably Haymitch, I really don't want him lecturing me while I'm stressed out like this.

"Go away!" I yell sternly without looking back.

"I'm sorry." Once I recognize his voice I whip my head around and find Peeta just 2 meters away from me.

"I'll leave you to it then." He says and starts to turn away.

"Wait!" Me saying this actually caught me by surprise because I'm calling him back when I want to be alone.

"Don't go. You- you can stay." I mutter.

I watch him make his way and sit down next to me.

"It would be easy you know, to just run down those tracks, disappear and be free. But then you think again, maybe it's not easy as you think. Especially in the world we live in today." Peeta starts talking and I listen attentively whilst looking at the train tracks in front of me.

"You know what's weird, I'm ready to die for you and I don't even know your favorite color."

I find myself smiling when he says this and I turn my head to look at him, his blue eyes staring at me in adoration and I can't ignore the guilt that runs through me.

How can Peeta even like someone like me? It hurts me to think I'm hurting him _everytime _I make him feel like we will never be together, everytime I never consider his feelings for me and everytime I push him away when all he wants Is to stay. I shake the thought away and smile more widely at him.

"Green." I say, "And yours?"

"Orange."

"Orange? Like Effie's hair?" I ask in disgust.

He chuckles and continues, "No, much more dimmer. Like the sunset."

I smile at him and turn back to looking at the railway.

"Katniss?"

"Hm?"

"I'm sorry."

I'm taken aback by his apology because last time I checked, he doesn't have anything to apologize for.

"For what?" I ask in confusion.

"For the time when I got mad at you back at the train. The last train I mean. I'm really sorry, I shouldn't have reacted because you were just doing it to protect us and take us home safely. I'm sorry Katniss, I really am. Please forgive me."

"Peeta, you have nothing to apologize for. You did nothing wrong. You were clueless."

We stay silent for a while until Peeta decides to speak up again.

"Katniss, because were going to be pretending the whole time. I need to at least know that a part of this has to be real. So, can we be friends."

I look at Peeta to see if he's serious. He has a point, if our relationship is fake. I don't want our friendship to be fake too.

"I thought we already were." I say with a small smile and I smile even wider because Peeta looks like a little boy who just got a brand new toy. He looks so happy, like nothing could hurt him. For a second I forget about Snow's threat but his snake-like voice brings a frown in my face again.

_Convince me._

I look away from Peeta and I can tell his smile drops as well.

"Why don't we go inside, I have something I want to show you." He says and gets up. I look up at him and he put his hand out. I grab onto it and he helps me stand up.

It feels nice to have my hands intertwined with Peeta. Because it feels real, now that we've confirmed that our friendship is real.

Peeta tells me that I should go back and apologize to Effie first of. Effie understands and apologizes as well for making things much more stressful.

"Why don't you and Peeta just go and have fun together " Effie says after her apology.

As I turn Effie stops me again, "But Katniss, not too _much _fun."

I quickly turn away to hide my blush and start walking towards Peeta who is waiting down the hallway.

"What did she say?"

"She said it was okay, she apologized too." I reply.

"OK." He takes my hand again and lead us down the hallway to a compartment further down the back. When we reach the door he stops at the doorknob.

"What's wrong?" I ask him.

"Oh, nothing." I don't believe him for a second, but he looks fine to me. [1]

He opens the door and lets me go in first. I freeze instantly and look around. There are paintings everywhere, every side and every corner. I don't like what I'm looking at though.

The arena. The cornucopia. The berries. The Hunger Games. Mutts. Blood.

I look around again, everything is scary. Like my nightmares. Is this what Peeta sees?

I realize something else, I'm in almost every painting. Me in the cave, in the trees and the lake. I'm basically everywhere.

"What do you think?" Peeta says behind me.

"I hate it," I mutter.

"I mean, they're beautiful but...all I want to do is just forget about it."

"I know, but they haunt me everywhere I go. Painting them and putting them out there seem to help me a bit." He says behind.

"How can you perfectly put every detail in every right way?" I say.

"Well Katniss, you're not the only one that has nightmares around here." He says and I turn around to look back at him.

"But I'm in most of these, am I part of your nightmares Peeta?"

"It's a nightmare when l keep-" He stops.

"It's okay." I say, "You don't have to continue."

After that I tell Peeta that I'm going to go back to my compartment. He stops me and asks if he can come.

"And what are you going to do there?" I say.

"Please Katniss, I don't want to stay out here. I have nothing to do." He begs.

I can't say no to him. As much as I don't like him following me, I just can't say no to him.

We reach my room in a couple of minutes.

"I'm going to go take a shower. Just do what ever you want to do." I say and I find myself looking at his eyes. He doesn't look good, he doesn't look like his been sleeping either. He has bags under his eyes.

I take a warm shower and change inside the bathroom. I braid my hair and get out of the bathroom to find Peeta lying on my bed.

Sound asleep.

I small smile makes it way to my lips and I move to the side of the bed. He's lying on his back with his hands on his stomach, breathing evenly.

His shoes are still on so I slowly take them off, making sure I don't wake him. When I take his shoes off he moves and murmurs something.

"Katniss," He mutters quietly. Like a whisper.

"Don't leave...me...please." He continues and I move up closer to where he lays his head.

I slowly push the hair around his forehead back. He mumbles something again.

"Shhhhh..." I say.

After a while I make my way out of my room and decide to have a drink. I sit down next to a window and watch the view outside. I can see nothing really, just grass and trees.

I'm so lost in thought that I don't hear Effie coming in. It's not until she yells my name and jump that I accept her presence.

"Where's Peeta?" She asks brightly and takes a seat in front of me.

"Asleep," I answer.

"But I just checked his room, he's not there."

"In my room." I confirm.

"Oh." She says and continues sipping her tea.

Octavia decides to join us a few minutes later.

"Isn't Peeta with you?" Octavia asks.

"No, sadly he's not. He's asleep, he's very tired." I answer.

"But he's room is emp-" She starts but I interrupt.

"In my room."

Effie and Octavia starts a conversation about District 11, our first stop. But its torture listening to their conversation because everytime they mention flowers and berries I think of Rue and I feel my heart breaking a little.

When Cinna calls for dinner, I thank him quietly and make my way to the dinner table.

"Where's Peeta?" Haymitch asks when I take a seat. Before I can answer Ocatavia does it for me.

"He's asleep in Katniss' room."

We eat dinner quietly.

"Katniss maybe you should bring some food to Peeta when he wakes up." Effie suggests.

"He should just get some when he wakes up." I say and shrug.

"But Katniss that wouldn't make a nice girlfriend now would it." Fulvia says and Haymitch coughs.

_Oh right. That. Pretending. Convincing. I almost forgot._

I smile, "Maybe I should."

An avox hands me a plate and a tray and I put as much food as I can for him.

"You should get ready to sleep now too, we might reach 11 around the afternoon tomorrow. We must be on schedule and I cannot afford you and Peeta waking up late." Effie says in a serious voice.

I make my way to my room and Peeta still lies there, sleeping soundly. Should I wake him?

I set the tray on the bedside table and slowly shake him awake.

He mumbles before he opens his eyes. He sits up quickly when he realizes that his sleeping in my room. His hair all messed up and it looks better that way. Brings back the 11 year old I saw once before.

"Peeta, I bought you some food." I say and place the tray in his lap. I feel like were back in the cave. Where he had a serious injury on his leg and with me having to take care of him.

"Thanks." He says with a smile.

I sit on the edge of the bed and watch him eat. He eats like there's no tomorrow.

He catches me watching him eat and he smiles in embarrassment. This time he eats a bit more slowly.

When he finishes eating I volunteer to take the tray back to the kitchen.

"You're shoes are beside the bed by the way, you should go back to your room because Effie will be wanting us to wake up early tomorrow. Even though we don't reach 11 by the afternoon." I tell him before I get out of the room, he simply answers with a nod and I walk off.

When I go back to my room, its empty.

The bed ready to be slept in, Peeta nowhere to be found.

I get ready for bed and lie down. I lay on the pillow and smell the familiar scent of cinammon.

I sleep to the scent that Peeta left behind and later wake up from a nightmare filled with mutts, Rue and my family.

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_If I get enough reviews I'll surely continue._

RestlessIdeas


	2. That's Why I Roam The Hallways At Night

Not as much reviews as I was expecting but meh. I had to continue for the people that have read the first chapter already.  
Thank you guys!

Most parts in these chapter, some quotes are from the Catching Fire book.

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN THE HUNGER GAMES BY SUZANNE COLLINS.**

Enjoy this guys. :)

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**CHAPTER 2: THAT'S WHY I ROAM THE HALLWAYS AT NIGHT**

I try to catch my breath and forget about what I've just dreamt about.

I look out my window. The sun hasn't even come out yet. I don't want to go back to sleep though. I lie down on my pillow and I decide to just wait until Effie knocks on my door.

As I take a deep breath in and I can still smell the cinnamon scent that Peeta left on my bed.

I wonder how he sleeps at night.

When he showed me those paintings and most of them were filled with me, I start to wonder if I turn into some crazy mutt in his dreams.

Thinking of Peeta makes me think of Gale at the same time and I shake my head to try not to think about it. I don't even want to think of Prim or anybody right now because I don't want to think about Snow's threat to Peeta's, Gale's family and mine.

I lie down quietly trying to think of ways to just try to convince Snow and the districts.

* * *

"Come on! Katniss! Wake up! We have a big big big day today! Our first stop." Effie's cheery voice gets me out of bed. I put a robe on before I go to breakfast in case Effie starts telling me that I should always look nice in front of anybody and not look like something the cat dragged in. I don't really care about what she says but I do it anyway.

Everyone is already digging into their food before I take a seat. Everyone gives me a morning nod and fill my plate with food.

"Where is Peeta? I swear, if we are late today I will be very very disappointed in him." Effie says and I too question why Peeta isn't here.

"Leave him. I heard him walking around the hallways last night, he probably didn't get any sleep." Haymitch says and takes a sip from his flask.

"I swear, Peeta makes the loudest noise when he walks." Cinna says.

"No surprise there." I mumble and think back when we were back at the games, we tried to hunt but he was just kept scaring the animals away with his loud footsteps.

Effie reminds us our schedule for the day all throughout breakfast.

It's when were about to eat lunch that Peeta decides to get out of his room and join us. He takes a seat next to me and mumbles a quiet hello.

We start eating and I realise that when everyone else's plate is halfway through, Peeta is not even close to having one quarter of his food swallowed. I look at the way he's eating and chewing, he seems to chew on for hours before he swallows. I look at his eyes and every now and then he's eyes droop and he blinks to snap out of it.

I try not to worry and continue eating. As I do, I realise that everyone on the table have managed to realise that Peeta is eating really slow and how he looks really tired too. When they finish there meal they don't seem to go about their business and watch Peeta. Even Haymitch stops to look; I switch my sight to Effie. She looks extremely worried.

I start getting impatient with him all of a sudden. He is moving really slow and I don't want Effie having another tantrum about being on schedule.

After I get annoyed by his very slow movement I move my chair closer to his and snatch his spoon away from him. I scoop some food on the spoon and say, "Open."

He looks at me, confused.

"She means open your mouth, stupid." Portia says.

He does as he's told and soon enough I'm feeding him. Everyone lets out a sigh of relief and start to go and do their business.

* * *

"Come on! Time to get change. We reach 11 in about and a half." Effie yells excitedly.

In a matter of minutes my prep team is doing my hair and make-up. Cinna comes in with a pretty orange frock patterned with autumn leaves. I think of how much Peeta will love the color.

I get out of my compartment and find Effie and Peeta waiting out in the lounge area, Peeta is wearing a very classy and elegant grey colored suit. They didn't do much with his hair but overall he looks really handsome.

When Peeta sees me walk into that area his eyes twinkles and he smile. I start blushing because he's looking at me in a way that makes me feel like I should cover myself.

"Wow…you look…beautiful." He says, I mumble a quiet thank you and sit down next to him.

Effie tells Peeta and I our schedule for the day until we arrive at the station of District 11.

Effie stand me and Peeta together and he grabs hold onto my hand.

"Big smiles!" Effie says encouragingly.

We drive to the Justice Building and they escort us to the stage, the mayor introduces us and we get called up for our speech.

What happens after becomes a blur. It all happened so fast, Peeta giving away our winnings, me suddenly speaking up about Rue, the people of District 11 doing the three finger sign, the old man whistling the four-note tune that Rue made and…the old man being shot. After that we get called by Haymitch to have a conversation, we confess the truth to Peeta. About Snow's threat and how we have to work very hard to convince not just him but everyone else that we haven't to stop an uprising from happening. I even tell him about when I kissed Gale in the woods.

He didn't seem very happy when he finds out the real truth; I would be aswell to be honest.

* * *

Cinna and my prep team dresses me up for dinner.

Effie leads us to the stairs and I join hands with Peeta. His hold on me seems stiff, as if he's not comfortable. He might still be unhappy with me and Haymitch from our argument earlier.

It's not until we start walking down the stairs that he decides to speak.

"Haymitch says it was wrong for me to yell at you. You were only operating under his instructions," He says, "And it isn't as if I haven't kept things from you in that past."

I know what he means. He's talking about when he confessed his love for me in front of Panem and Haymitch knew and never told me.

"Was that really the only time you kissed Gale?" He asks quietly.

His question really shocked me.

_Does that really bother him?_

"Yes." I answer. He takes a deep breath in.

"You know, when we go home…I'll try not to ruin things for the both of you." He continues.

Before I can answer light hits us and we put on the best smile we could muster. For the rest of the night. I never leave Peeta's side. I keep hold of his hand the whole time. We dance, eat, introduce ourselves and try to look as smitten as we can together.

When we get back in the train that night, I quickly change into my pyjamas and get ready for bed.

I lie in bed for what feels like hours until I choose to get up. I order some milk and take a seat in the lounge. I hear someone come in and I get startled. I turn around to find Peeta standing there and I smile back at him.

"Can't sleep?" I ask.

"No, I'm sorry I startled you. I should go." He says and starts to leave but I don't want him to.

"Peeta?" I murmur before he can move.

"Please don't go. Not yet." I continue.

He sighs and starts rubbing the back of his neck. "I guess…I could sit with you for a while." He says and sits down in the loveseat across from me. I hesitate before I make a move, but I do. I stand up and sit next to him in the loveseat. I move closer, wrap my hands around his arm and place my head on his shoulder.

He seems startled by my sudden bravery to move and I am too.

I think back to what he said at the stairs.

_"You know, when we go home…I'll try not to ruin things for the both of you."_

"Katniss?"

"Yeah?"

"Maybe you should go on back to bed. Try to get some sleep." He says.

I raise my head and look at him in disbelief.

"Do you even know why I went out of bed in the first place?" I ask angrily, "Do you want me to go back in there and…what? Dream of losing the people you love the most in the world? Do you even know how hard that is Peeta?" I feel my voice rising at every sentence.

He looks down at his lap and says nothing.

"Forget it." I say and I stand up to leave.

"I dream about losing you." He says suddenly and I stop moving.

"I dream about waking up one day and finding out you're not there. That you're not mine, and that you'll never be mine." I turn around and he's still looking at his lap.

"That's why I don't really sleep. Because I don't want to, I don't want to go to sleep and wake up to find you gone. To lose you. That's why I stay up all night Katniss. That's why I walk the hallways at night, to make sure that nothing happens to you, that when something does…I'll be there…to protect you." The hurt in his voice breaks my heart and I don't know what to do.

He stands up quickly then leaves.

I stand there, thinking of what he just said. I can't help to think that Peeta tortures himself not to go to sleep while I am just so that he could protect me…from what? Nothing…nothing but my nightmares that come at night.

I should do something, but I can't. I can't help but feel guilty for what he just confessed.

In a matter of minutes, I'm knocking at his door.

"Peeta? Peeta please open up." I whisper to myself.

But he doesn't though. He keeps his doors closed and locked.

"Peeta…you're breaking my heart here." I didn't expect him to hear it; I didn't want him to hear it. I guess I said those words louder than I thought and that made him open his door.

I push the door wide open and wrap my arms around him tightly.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry…" I find myself mumbling these words into his chest.

He doesn't hesitate and wraps his arms tightly around me. He buries his head into my hair and sighs.

"I don't want to lose you Katniss..." He mutters.

I don't know what to say. Because I know that if I reply to what he said I'm sure it's going to be something that will remind him that nothing love-related between us is real. I don't want to do that, I've hurt him enough already.

"Katniss…I…I love you." He says.

I whimper and wrap my arms tightly around him.

We hold each other for a long time and he volunteers to escort me to my room.

"Peeta…please stay. Just stay…until I fall asleep." I say once his tucked me in bed.

I scoot over to give him some space then he decides to finally lie down with me. He wraps his arms around me and I burrow my head in his chest.

And once again, I smell cinnamon and I can't help but smile. I find myself falling asleep in a matter of minutes.

I wake up sometime later because I don't feel comfortable, warm and…safe. When I open my eyes I find out why. Peeta isn't there anymore. He kept his word about leaving once I fall asleep. His arms are not are not around to protect me and make me feel safe. I'm surprised when I manage to doze off again and wake up to the cheery voice of Effie Trinket reminding me of a "Big! Big! Big day!"

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_Thanks to the __**3**__ people reviewing, it wasn't what I expected but I didn't want to let them down._

_Keep those reviews coming otherwise I will not continue._

RestlessIdeas


	3. He's Drunk And Gives Me A Hairclip

_Thanks guys for all the reviews, favourites, follows and most importantly views.  
Some of you guys seem to question why I ask for reviews. Well one thing about writing a story is that you want it to be read, and with that you want to know what the reader thought instead of the reader leaving with no comment at all. It makes you wonder whether it was good or bad and makes you think if you should keep writing or not. So overall, review are quite important to people that write stories. It would be nice if you guys left what you think but you have a choice._

_Anyway! Sorry for grammar mistakes on the last chapter and if I missed on correcting any on this one. But I think you guys are smart enough to fix grammar issues._

__**DISCLAIMER : I DO NOT OWN THE HUNGER GAMES**

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**CHAPTER THREE: HE'S DRUNK AND GIVES ME A HAIRCLIP**

As soon as I get out of my room I go looking for Peeta. But according to the attendants he's still asleep.

I quietly open his door and he's lying there in his bed. Asleep.

I want to wake him up because the day will just be boring without him and I really don't want to spend the rest of our journey to district 10 with a grumpy old Haymitch or an overly excited Effie. I could chat with Cinna but he's too busy taking care of my 'talent.'

I start to slowly shake Peeta awake. He frowns and he looks adorable when he did. I couldn't help but smile.

"Peeta, wake up. Effie will get mad again if you're not early for breakfast this time."

He seems to recognise my voice and starts muttering, I can't understand what he's saying.

I get impatient and shake him harder and with less care. "Peeta! Come on!" I say.

"5 more minutes." He grumbles and covers his head with the blankets.

I rip the blanket off him in frustration shake him aggressively. In the middle of my shaking process he has suddenly gotten hold of my hands.

"I'm up. I'm up" He says with a smile.

"Come on then. Get up!" I say and pull him up with me.

He stands up but he's still half asleep.

"Peeta! Wake up!" I yell jumping up and down like a small child.

"Why are you so…giddy and not yourself this morning." He says.

I just realised that too. Honestly, I have no idea why.

"Can we just go eat breakfast already?" I say impatiently.

He mumbles and I take it as a yes. I drag him with me to the dining area and everyone seems surprised to see Peeta up early.

"Well, well…look what the cat dragged in." Haymitch says and I glare at him.

"I'm joking sweetheart, but he looks like a mess." He continues.

When I manage to sit Peeta down in a chair he starts to doze off and I shake his head to wake him up a bit.

"You should really go to sleep early. Both of you. You know how important it is to-"

"Stay in schedule!" Everyone in the table says in unison and interrupts Effie.

"Yes. If you want, you can take some of my sleeping pills. It will help you sleep. Everyone around here uses it." She continues.

Peeta seems to wake up a little more when I threaten him to stab him with a fork if he dozes off again one more time. Haymitch seems to be looking at me weirdly throughout breakfast and I'm guessing it might be that sudden change of attitude.

I think this is what it is when I'm happy. But why am I happy?

Is it because of what happened last night? If anyone was there to see it they would know that what happened last night was nothing but drama.

* * *

Effie sends us off to change and get ready for District 10. My prep team dresses me and we arrive earlier than usual.

It's the same thing. We get introduced. We say our speech and we wait for dinner. During dinner I try to stay with Peeta as much as I can. If someone asks me to dance with them, Peeta keeps his eyes on me the whole time.

After some dancing I eat some more. I eat until I can't eat any more but I still have some food left.

"Peeta? Can you finish this for me?" I ask him.

"Sure love." He says.

"Okay…what have you been drinking?" I laugh.

"Just a few cups of wine." He says.

"No wonder why you kept tripping while we were dancing." I say.

"Guessed it sweetheart." He says.

I turn my head around for a few minutes and I never felt it when Peeta left. It's when I ask him a question and no one answer that I find out he's left me. I suddenly get worried and set out looking for him.

I find him standing near the drinks area with my plate in his hand while he fills the cup with more drink.

"Peeta. You know you shouldn't leave without telling me what to do." I tell him.

"Sorry love but…these drinks are very irresistible." He sounds like Haymitch when he's drunk. Drunk.

Oh dear, Peeta's drunk.

How long have I been sitting down by myself over there. Probably around 10 minutes and how many cups of wine has Peeta swallowed. But wine doesn't get you drunk. Does it?"

"Give me that. And stop calling me love." I grab the cup from him and smell the beverage.

"Sorry love." He says and I scowl at him.

"Peeta, this isn't wine. This is beer." I say.

"I know sweetie. Sorry, I lied. I needed to wake up." He says then lets out a loud burp.

People around the room looks at us and I can't help but laugh out loud at him and he joins me soon afterwards. I could just imagine the look on Effie's face. He laughs even louder and I cover his mouth with my hand to shut him up.

"Peeta, shhhh. You're catching some really unwanted attention." I whisper harshly. When I think he's settled down I uncover his mouth.

I grab my plate off his hand and stuff the rest of the food in his mouth. He continues drinking even though I tell him so many times to stop. After he gurgled down one more bottle I get really angry at him.

"Peeta! Stop. You are going to do really stupid things while you're drunk. And you're going to really embarrass yourself."

He sigh then grabs hold on both of my hands. "I have an idea." He says and his breath smells of liquor.

"What?" I ask harshly.

"Let's sneak out. Come on, it'll be the best idea ever. People will we're going out to…you know." He says and I take in his idea. It doesn't sound very bad.

"Fine." I say and he starts to slowly lead me out of the room. We walk slowly to try not to gain any attention. Getting out of this room will be certainly feel like freedom. If I get asked the same questions one more time I will honestly rip my hair out.

We manage to get out completely and make to the hallway. Peeta starts laughing then running.

"Peeta. Stop. What are you doing?"

"Having fun." He says and I chase after him.

"You're just drunk." I say.

"Sweetheart, I'm not drunk."

"Yes you are. You can't even walk properly." I argue.

"Come here." He grabs me and kisses me squarely on the lips. His hold on me is tight and I can't push him back.

"Stop." I manage to say in between kisses.

"Play along." He says and I do what I'm told.

He starts moving and pushes me on the wall. Never breaking our kiss. He takes his jacket off and I feel him loosen his tie.

"It's getting hot." He says.

I run my hands through his hair. He gets carried away, he grabs hold of my thighs and picks me up. He finds a side table and hoists me on top off it. Our kiss starts getting wet and I can feel him deepen our kiss and before he can I hear a familiar gasp/scream from the one and only Effie Trinket.

We turn our heads to look not just at Effie but at a bunch of people at the back aswell. My prep team, Peeta's prep team and Haymitch looks at us with a knowing grin that makes me feel embarrassed.

"Yes Miss Trinket." Peeta says coolly. Oh no, I feel like this is going to be a very embarrassing night.

"Peeta, get Katniss down now! And pick up your jacket." Effie whispers harshly and loudly.

I quickly realise the position were in and jump down, I pick up Peeta's jacket and put it on him. He looks really annoyed.

"Effie! Why do you have to ruin everything? We just wanted to have fun." Peeta whines loud enough for everyone to hear. People are piling in to watch what's happening in the hallway by the second.

"This is very inappropriate behaviour. Both of you!" She points at us with her long and fake nails.

"But Effie- " Peeta stars and Effie quickly dismisses him.

"Look at all the attention you two have called upon yourselves. What are people going to think now? This isn't your house that you can just mess around in. We are guests! And as guests we are to behave as so. With respect and manners. We don't go sitting on a table and- ugh." Effie sounds extremely angry right now.

"We'll deal with this at the train." Effie whispers.

She goes back to the crowd of people and escorts them off.

"You know what, I didn't even understand a word that woman said." Peeta says and gives me another kiss.

"Peeta!" I push him back, "Maybe Effie's was right, that was a little embarrassing. It wasn't what I expected to happen." I say.

"Yes but Katniss, people take a lot of convincing. If embarrassing ourselves by acting rude and disgusting is the only way we can convince them. Then we'll do that. Just anything it takes." He says.

I roll my eyes at him and fix his tie, button up his suit and make his hair look presentable.

"Why don't we go back in and get me another drink? Yes? No?"

"I think you've drank enough for the night."

"No, I need more."

"No. Peeta stop drinking. You are going to make a fool of yourself. And do you honestly want to go back in there, with people staring at you?" I ask him curiously.

"Come on love. Just one more drink." He says and I scowl at him, "I told you to stop calling me that."

"I will if we go back inside and get me another drink.

The rest of the night is filled with winks, whispers and smiles that make me feel really embarrassed. Peeta doesn't care though. I mean, he is drunk. I just keep hold of his hand and not let him have one more bottle of liquor. Even though I said he can I don't let him. Instead, I take him to the dance floor and dance the whole night through.

After we say our goodbyes and we're escorted outside the building Effie stops walking and I know what she is going to talk about. I thought, we were going to finalise this on the train.

I look to my right and realise Peeta isn't beside me, I turn around to see Peeta and Haymitch walking together with their arms around each other's shoulders singing an enjoyable tune. Cinna and the rest of the prep teams walk beside and behind them just in case they might fall. And fall they did. Haymitch and Peeta guffaws while on the ground and I can't help but smile at Peeta's childish behaviour. Cinna and Portia help Haymitch and Peeta up.

"Come on Peet. Let's get you to the train." Cinna says and help him walk.

"Hey! Don't steal him away from me. We haven't finished the first chorus yet." Haymitch says and falls back down on the ground again. Portia seems to be having some trouble hoisting him up.

"Oh for the love of…" Effie walks to Haymitch and helps Portia.

Cinna nods me off to go inside the car already. I wait for him to help Peeta inside.

"Whoa! That was a good party wasn't it?" Peeta asks me a little too loud.

"Yes Peeta, it was." I reply.

"Now before you two get away with this and head to bed. We need to talk about your absolute disgusting behaviour." Effie gets Peeta and I in the lounge room while everybody's getting ready for bed.

"I swear, if that happens again. I am going to tell President Snow and have been come here to tell you both to stop acting like idiots and not make yourselves look bad. Surely, you'll listen to what he says right. He will surely be unhappy hearing something like that as well, you know." Effie saying this catches my attention and I look up at her, "So, if we do it again you're going to report to President Snow?" I ask just to make sure.

"Yes, why? You think I won't do it." Effie continues.

"And you Peeta, how did you even get yourself this drunk?" Effie points out.

I look to my side at Peeta, his head is down and supported by his arms. He's dozed off. He's asleep and I find myself giggling. Effie gets mad all over again and starts muttering to herself.

"…honestly…teenagers…" She stomps out of the lounge room and leaves me to take care of Peeta.

"Come on Peeta. Let's go get you ready for bed." I grab his hand and without caring at all I pull him up and drag him with me. He keeps bumping on furniture as he walks half-asleep. I don't care, I don't like Peeta drunk and I'm not happy with him either.

I open the door to his room and push him in there.

"Come on Peeta. Take your clothes off. You're taking a shower." I say but he just stand there looking at me. This time actually awake and with his eyes open.

I roll my eyes at him and start taking his jacket off myself. I start unbuttoning his shirt and he copies what I'm doing and starts unzipping my dress from the back. I try to swat his hand away and he makes it half way down the zipper when I manage to stop him.

"I'm a cheeky little monkey Katniss." He says and I smile at him.

"Yes you are. An extremely cheeky monkey." I say laughing.

"Are we taking a shower together Katniss. Should I help you with your dress?"

"Oh God no! We're not. You're taking a shower then you're going to bed."

I manage to take his polo off. Then I think about his pants. I should just push him in the shower and he'll know what to do next.

"Come on, go and take a shower." I push him towards the bathroom and he doesn't want to.

"No, I thought we were taking a shower together." He groans.

"Peeta, get in."

"You didn't even take my pants off."

"You can do it yourself."

"Fine!" And he does, he unzips his pants and luckily he kept his boxers on.

Then he just stands there. Confused. He starts rubbing the back of his neck then looks around the room.

_What is he doing? Does he even know what he is doing? _

"Peeta do you know the ways of taking a shower."

"Yeah, you go in and turn the tap on. Stand there for a few minutes and then come out." He says casually, "Let me tell you a secret about it," He whispers then motions his finger to come closer. I do and lean my head in to what he's going to say, "We…shower…naked…" He whispers and I furrow my eyebrows at him.

"How drunk are you exactly?" I ask him.

"I don't know. But drunk enough to do this." Peeta grabs hold of me then carries me up on his shoulders.

"Peeta! Put me down!"

"No!" He screams. We're going to wake up everyone if we keep going at this rate.

When he puts me down, I'm in the shower with Peeta. Thank God he still has his boxers on and…and I still have my dress on!

"Peeta. I swear, I will murder you if you don't let me out right at this moment."

"Never!" He shouts and turns the shower on.

I stand there shocked. He's starts laughing then gets all the clips and accessories of my hair. I find myself laughing with him too; I grab onto the shampoo bottle and pour some all over his hair. I spread them all over his hair.

My dress gets heavier as I get wetter. Peeta pours some shampoo on my hair as well. I giggle and spread the shampoo over his chest and abdomen. We take a shower together. But I don't get my dress off and Peeta keeps his boxers on.

He leaves the bathroom while I take my dress off and dry myself. I get out the bathroom with a towel over myself. Peeta lies on the floor with his wet boxers on looking at the light. He is so weird when he's drunk. I make my way to his wardrobe and look for something to wear.

"Peeta, I'm going to wear something from your wardrobe just for tonight OK. I don't want to go out there in a towel. I mean what if the attendants see me.

"What about underwear, you got yours wet didn't you?" Peeta says behind me.

My head snaps up. He's right. I turn my head around to look at him. He's still lying on the floor, staring at the light.

"Just use one of my briefs. Well, use the ones that the train provides. I don't wear briefs, use the small ones." He says, I guess I could. It's just for one night and I don't really care. I take one of Peeta's shirts and one of his shorts. I go to the bathroom and change. I come out and Peeta is still lying down on the floor.

"Peeta, you need to change out of your boxers. Go on. Then you know what to do…go to sleep because we have a big day tomorrow. I'll go to my room now and try to get some sleep as well."

Peeta sits up straight away, "Wait, you're going?"

"Yeah."

"No, don't leave yet. I want you to stay." He begs.

"I won't change if you leave."

I shrug, "That doesn't stop me, see you tomorrow Peeta."

"No Katniss!" He grabs on of my legs and wraps his arms and legs around it.

"Peeta, let go. We need to sleep."

"I can't sleep without you. It's true and you know it."

I stop trying to shake my leg off and stand there looking down at him.

"Get up Peeta."

"Don't leave."

"I won't leave. Just go and change."

"Fine." He stands up take another pair of boxers. I turn around quickly before he takes his boxers off and then he puts the other one on.

"There. I'm done."

"Aren't you going to put a shirt on?"

"It's too hot."

He walks to the side of his bed and sit at the edge.

"Come on love, lets story tell."

"I said stop calling me that." I grumble.

"Well come on then." He lies down on one side of the bed and lie there waiting for me to lie down next to him.

Lying down next to a half naked Peeta won't make me feel comfortable actually.

"If Effie opens that door and sees us-" I start and he dismisses me.

"Effie won't. Please Katniss."

I hesitate then stomp my way next to him. I cover myself with his blanket and lie down on a pillow.

"What do you want to talk about it then?" I ask him and I'm already starting to get cosy.

"I don't know." He gets under the covers too and gets closer to me.

"I could just fall asleep staring at your face love." He says with a playful smile.

I let him off this time but I swear if he says that again one more time I'm going to murder him.

"How does it feel…to kiss Gale?"

I look at him dumbfounded, even when his drunk Gale haunts his mind.

"I don't want to talk about that Peeta." I say.

"You know, everytime I kiss you I secretly wished that it was just a kiss for you and me not for the cameras. But hey, you don't always get what you want right?" He lies there staring at me for a few seconds until he suddenly jumps up so fast that it scares me.

"I have to show you something." He says then throws the covers away. He trips over me when he tries to get out of bed but quickly recovers and starts looking through the wardrobe. He throws clothes after clothes around the floor looking for whatever he's looking for. I just watch him curiously and look at the way his muscles in his back move.

"Here it is."

He turns around and in his hand he holds little bag in his hand. He digs his hand inside it and take out a little silver hair clip. He slowly moves back where he was lying down but he walks over me and round the bed during that process.

"What are you doing with an old looking hair clip?" I ask him.

"Don't you remember?"

"g hair clip?" I ask him.

"Don't you remember?" He looks at me and I shake my head.

"You wore this in 5th grade."

I give him another dumbfounded looks, is he saying that that hairclip is mind. I start laughing because I really can't believe it.

"You dropped it while you were walking home. I picked it up and kept it all these years. Sometimes I think about using this hair clip the reason to talk to you because I would like to give it back. I was too scared to move because Gale was with you all the time."

I can't even say anything right now. I just look at Peeta and he looks completely lost just admiring that hair clip.

"Could- could you…put it on for me?" He asks.

I don't know what to do. Should I say yes or no? I have no idea.

"I'll just put it on you okay, if you don't mind." Slowly Peeta clips the hair accessory somewhere in my hair and he stares at it for what feels like forever.

Did he really keep this all those years? I look at his face and he's smiling like a five year old child and I can't help but smile at him. I don't know what falling in love feels like but by the look on Peeta's face it must be the best feeling in the world. He looks so happy, his blue eyes shining. I feel myself get a little teary and I blink a few times to make sure I don't end up crying.

"Can I kiss you Katniss?" He says but he keeps his gaze on my head; on that hairclip.

I don't answer, I'm still thinking actually. Peeta lets his gaze go down on me and he looks at me smiling.

"Out of all the girls why did I have to fall in love with you?" He says and I suddenly feel upset that he's said that. "Luckily it was you I fell for. I mean, you're so beautiful and you have such a strong heart. Gale must be the luckiest guy in the world."

There. He mentions Gale again and I can't help but feel a little hurt.

"Peeta, shhhh. Don't. You're only hurting yourself." I say and he does look like his about to cry.

"Anyway, I just wanted to give that back to you. Seeing as you know, you're here now and you own that thing." He says.

I feel my hair searching for the hair clip. When I've felt it I take it off and Peeta looks confused and upset at the same time.

"No Peeta. You keep it." I place the clip on his hand and I make him curl his fingers around it. "I might lose it again."

"Really? I can keep this?" He says with such a sweet smile and I feel upset for him.

"Yeah, I mean, it's always been yours. Ever since I dropped it, consider it a gift."

He places the clip back in the tiny bag and puts it under his pillow.

"Katniss? Do you really have to go back to your room? I would really like you to stay if you want. I don't want to walk around the hallways again this time."

"You don't have to." I tell him, "I'll stay."

Peeta smiles wider again and I smile with him.

"Can I kiss you love?" He asks and I glare at him.

Without permission he kisses me and I can feel him smiling.

Peeta wrap his arms around me tighter once we've gotten ready for bed and I curl much more closer to him. I feel myself wanting to cry. I wonder how hard this is for Peeta. To have his love for me be used as a little game. To know that every kiss and every touch with the love of your life isn't real, that it's all for the cameras. I feel like a really horrible person treating Peeta like this and I hate him for it. I hate him because he doesn't blame me for anything. He doesn't get mad at me, instead he walks the hallways at night to try and make sure I sleep soundlessly at night. I hate him for being there everytime I don't want him when I need him. I hate him for it.

And I hate myself for not treating Peeta's heart as a fragile glass that needs to be handled with care.

* * *

_Hope you guys enjoyed that and please leave me what you guys think. I would really appreciate it._

_Thank you for reading._

_RestlessIdeas_


	4. Caught And Embarrassed

_Thanks for the favourites, follows, reviews and views guys. Makes me happy.  
Enjoy this chapter guys and I can tell you guys really like a drunk Peeta. Should I make him drunk again? Your choice guys.  
Now I've decided that I should try to make a chapter for each district and with more information about Peeta's feelings for Katniss. Katniss seems to start understanding this feeling for her. But man, they have a long way to go._

_Sorry for any grammar mistakes guys. Forgive me._

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN THE HUNGER GAMES.**

* * *

Peeta's loud snoring is what wakes me up at midnight. I realize then that I have fallen asleep in Peeta's room. I told myself that I would stay until he fell asleep but it looks like I fell asleep with him.

I slowly and cautiously untangle myself from Peeta and start getting out of bed. Peeta starts mumbling and I stop moving. I turn my head around to look at him and he's awaken.

"Katniss? What are you doing here?" He starts muttering, "What time is it?"

I look at the bedside table. It's 2 a.m.

Peeta starts sitting and I tell him that he should lie back. He's only had a few hours sleep, he's still drunk. But he did start to forget why I'm here.

"Don't you remember why I'm here Peeta?"

"I do now that I'm awake love." He mumbles and I can just make out his smile through the moonlight.

I glare at him through the small lit room and he smiles wider.

"Go back to sleep Peeta." I tell him.

"No. And you can't make me." He crosses his arms and starts pouting.

"Please stay. You said you would."

"Peeta just lie down. Go to sleep."

"You can't make me love. It's not going to work."

I groan at his stubbornness and decide to stay for his sake.

"Alright then." I grumble.

I lie back down under the covers and Peeta wraps be around him again.

"This is nice isn't it?" Peeta says.

I turn my body around to look at him.

"Two friend confronting each other. That's just what it is right?" I don't understand what he means. I only stayed because he wanted me too.

"It's really nice that you're here Katniss. Then I don't have to worry about anything."

He yawns then starts blinking to wake up a little. He smiles while he looks at me.

"Go to sleep." I tell him.

"You first."

He's so stubborn. And so, I close my eyes and get ready to sleep.

"You snore really loud when you're drunk you know." I say quietly.

Peeta chuckles then I feel his lips on mine. "I like kissing you. It feels nice" Peeta says then yawns.

"It's nice..." He mumbles.

And that's the last thing I hear before I go to sleep.

"Peeta! Wake up! Big big day today!"

Effie, how ever could we walk up on time without Effie.

I manage to walk up at her loud knocking. It takes a while for Peeta to actually show some signs of consciousness though.

"Peeta! Come on get up!" Effie continues out of impatience.

"Cinna. Could you come here and try to wake this boy up." I hear Effie murmur from outside. Cinna starts knocking and I start to shake Peeta awake.

Soon enough I can hear people piling in outside from the racket that Cinna and Effie are making with the door.

"Peeta wake up." I whisper loudly.

I sit up and start shaking him vigorously awake. He starts blinking and when he opens his eyes he closes them straight away and let out a loud "Ah!", then covers his eyes.

"What's going on there Peeta!" Effie yells.

I hear the doorknob turn and it looks we didn't lock the door last night. I turn around just as the door opens and sure enough a few people have piled outside. There stand there staring at us wide eyed as if the room was on fire.

"Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark!" Effie booms and Peeta sits up quickly slowly tries to open his eyes. I sit on the bed looking at Effie confusingly. Octavia and Portia let out a giggle and I find myself wondering why.

"What Effie?" Peeta groans.

"I though we spoke about _inappropriate behavior _last night?" Effie grumbles.

"What? What are you talking about Effie?" Peeta says and I look at him.

"Don't you remember anything from last night?" I ask him.

"Get up both of you right now!"

Peeta and I look at each other before we get off the bed.

"Oh sweet mother of God! Peeta, go put a shirt on." Effie orders.

"No!" Some girl attendants including Portia and Octavia yell in unison. Effie turns to look at them.

"I think, I think he doesn't need a shirt. I mean look at him Effie." Octavia says and Peeta blushes.

"Katniss got lucky last night." Portia says with a wink and I quickly say, "What?"

"No. No, I think you guys got the wrong idea." I say quickly and look to Peeta.

He shrugs his shoulders then look st Effie apologetically.

"We definitely got the wrong idea." Portia continues and some attendants let out a fake cough.

"All right! Everyone out! Out!" Effie pushes everyone out the door then closes it. Leaving her, Peeta and me the only ones left.

"I don't want to know what you two did last night." Effie starts and I interrupt her, "Effie, I swear we-". Effie dismisses me quickly.

"I said I didn't want to know. But this kind of behavior has to stop. I would expect you two being like this back home but in the train with other people-" She cuts herself off, "No, absolutely unacceptable." She continues.

"How would you know something happened last night?" Peeta says.

"How do I know? How do I know? Well look at you, nothing on but boxers, Katniss is wearing what looks like your shirt and yeah...the people inside this room a while ago were suspecting the same thing." Effie says with so much energy.

I stay silent while Peeta looks down.

"I want you two ready for breakfast as fast as you can and with some decent clothes on!" Effie growls and turns to open the door. As she does though loads of people stumble down on the floor. They were eavesdropping.

Effie looks like she has had enough and starts stomping away leaving them trying to stand up.

A lot of them mumble "sorrys" and leave quickly. I go to the door and shut it.

"That was embarrassing." I say and Peeta stands there with an extremely confused look.

"Katniss, what actually happened last night?"

"What do you mean?"

"Like, did we actually...you know?"

"Gross! No Peeta we didn't. You were drunk and you didn't want me to leave that's why I stayed the night. You didn't even remember how to take a shower."

"Well, why am I just wearing boxers and you have my shirt on and...is that...are those..." Peeta squints and looks down at me.

"Those are my briefs!" He bellows.

Oh dear God. I make my way to the bathroom and cover my legs with a towel.

"Why _are_ you wearing my clothes Katniss?" Peeta follows me into the bathroom.

"Look, you carried me into the shower with you last night. So we showered together, but no naked." I clear that part with him, "Then I borrowed your clothes Peeta, I didn't have any underwear so you offered me yours. You said you don't wear them."

"What do you mean we didn't shower naked. People shower naked Katniss."

"Well we didn't, you carried me in with my dress still on and you had your boxers on." I look around the bathroom and my dress is in the bathtub. Someone will take care of that.

"So we didn't do anything...naughty last night?" He asks again.

"Gosh, no Peeta. Me and you, that's never going to happen. Never."

Peeta looks hurt after I've said this and he looks down.

Stupid. Katniss, you are so stupid. I tell myself.

"Peeta hey..."

"No Katniss you're right. I was stupid asking you that question anyway."

"Peeta..." I walk towards him and he looks at me upset.

I am such a horrible person and I can actually agree with myself.

"You know, you were singing with Haymitch last night. Do you remember?"

Peeta lets out a small smile. But I know he only did to make me feel less guilty.

"No I don't, I only remember leaving you to get a drink. That's it, after that I don't remember anything." He says.

"You don't even remember clinging onto my legs; begging me to stay?"

"No."

I smile at him and it fades quickly, "Peeta I'm sorry. I should've never said something like that. I'm a horrible person."

"No Katniss, you're not. You're beautiful."

"Peeta, can you just for once agree with me. Blame me for the things I did wrong. How can you keep forgiving after everything I do for you?"

"Because...because your you Katniss. I can't hate you...and I don't think I ever will." He mumbles and I look at him angrily.

"Whatever Peeta, just enough with the sweet words and everything. You're going to hate me sooner or later anyway." I walk out the bathroom and I'm about to head the door when his words stop me.

"I'll never hate you Katniss. I can never do something like that...now...I know that were never going to be together. I have accepted that, I've accepted that I long time ago. But no matter how many times I keep reminding myself that I can never get over you. But Katniss, I don't want to have to keep fighting everytime we talk about this. I can live my whole life just being friends with you Katniss, but I can't live it without you. I want us to stop fighting about this all the time before I lose you completely."

I take in his words for a moment. He has a point though.

"OK..." That was the word I said before I go back to my room and get ready for breakfast

* * *

The rest of the day I keep getting stared at by everyone in the train. A few of them whisper while I walk. I see Haymitch wink at Peeta while eating breakfast. I glare at Haymitch after that because his joke isn't very funny. Peeta and I seem to have calmed down from this morning.

Peeta seems to remember everything form yesterday once his taken a shower in the afternoon. He remembers the hallway at district 10, Effie lecturing at night by he doesn't remember what Effie has said, the shower and he remembers the hair clip. He thanks me again for giving that to him.

We reach district nine and we do our normal routine. Peeta stays away from the drinks and everytime he wants to just take a sip of wine I threaten him.

"Why don't we just dance Peeta." I grab hold of his hand and take him to the dance floor.

He hold my waist and I put my arms around his neck. The music is nice and slow, it sounds quite romantic. It has a nice melody and everything. Peeta and I dance slowly; I look around the room at the other people dancing. They all look so nice in their dresses and the people eating happily, especially the children. I turn to face Peeta and crane my head up a bit because of his height.

Peeta leans into my ear and says something, "Just pretend I'm telling you a funny story and now…laugh." And I do.

That's what Peeta and I do most of the time, try to look like were so in love with each other. It's easier for Peeta and harder for me. I take breath in then drop my head to lay on Peeta's shoulder. Peeta holds me closer.

"Are you tired Katniss?"

"Yes, very." I say.

"Don't worry; you'll be able to rest soon."

I close my eyes due to tiredness and burrow my head into Peeta's neck. He kisses my forehead and holds my hips tighter. When we finish dancing I would have expected for the time to go to be sooner but Effie told me we have a few hours left.

Peeta and I try to sneak out again but this time we get caught. So Peeta and I just eat some more dessert, watch Haymitch dance drunk and eat. Again, I let Peeta eat the leftovers and let him drink a cup of wine or two.

Peeta and I find a couch to sit on at the back and we only get interrupted by people wanting to introduce themselves a couple of times. I feel myself wanting to doze off a couple of times and Peeta gets me coffee to wake up a little. My head finds its way to his shoulders and I feel like I could just sleep right there and then. Peeta comforts me with by putting his arm around me.

"Do me a favor will you Peeta? Keep me awake." I mumble.

He chuckles then pulls my chin up to look at him, soon enough he's leaned down to kiss me. I move closer to him. He kisses me passionately. He breaks our kiss and he smiles at me.

"Stay awake." He mutters.

"I will…"

I lay my head back on his shoulder. We spend the rest of the night on the couch until Effie calls us to go. We say goodbye to everyone and get to the car. The only thing I remember is falling asleep in the car.

I wake up when to Peeta's heavy footsteps.

"Careful Peeta. You don't want to wake her up." That was Cinna then, "Walk quietly too, you have the loudest steps ever."

I can actually now feel that Peeta is carrying me and my head lies in his shoulder but I'm facing his neck, my arms are around his neck and shoulders. We're probably walking up to the train station sown the pedestrian walkway. No wonder why Peeta's footsteps are able to echo really loud. I decide to pretend I'm still asleep because I'm too comfortable to move.

"So Peeta…any plans with Katniss tonight?" That was Octavia I think, I'm not really sure.

"Uhhh…well you know…if she feels like it." He says.

"Really? How did last night go?"

"Um, it went pretty well actually. Katniss is very flexible."

I get shocked at what Peeta just said. When we get inside that train I am going to kill him. For real this time.

"Is she really?" Octavia gasps.

"Very flexible." He says.

They continue their conversation with me planning Peeta's death in my head.

When we enter my room I jump off him and run to lock the door.

"You stupid, pathetic, lying idiot." I growl at him.

Recognition covers his face once he gets what I'm talking about. His eyes go wide, "Katniss, before you do anything. Just listen to me."

"No!" And with that I jump for him and we fall to the floor. I attack him with my hands and he blocks every move. I position myself but putting my legs on each side of his hips so that he won't be able to move.

"Katniss."

I try to throw another attack on his face but his hands catches mine.

"Listen!"

"No! You embarrassed me completely!" I yell at him.

I continue trying to hit him in the face and her keep trying to block me. I managed to land a scratch on his cheek.

"I am going to kill you Peeta Mellark!" I yell at him.

He managed to push me off him then he runs to the corner of the room.

"Katniss, if you would just-"

"Ahhh!" I run for him again but he makes a turn and I catch his suit jacket but I only manage to take it off him. He runs over my bed and starts taking his shoes off. He puts the shoes in front of him and tries to defend himself with it.

"Katniss. I wasn't trying to humiliate you. I swear. If you would just try to let me explain."

I glare at him breathing deeply.

"Fine, go on then." I cross my arms.

"I was only saying those things about you to get them convinced." He says softly.

I feel my face soften a little bit.

"Oh…but I still don't like the way you talked about me." I snap at him.

"I know, I'm sorry. I thought you were asleep."

"When I'm asleep you think it's alright to describe me like that?"

"No of course not! I was playing with Octavia and she totally bought it."

I take a seat in a bed for a bit and try to calm down.

"Alright, I'm sorry Peeta." I say.

He moves to sit next to me. "It's okay. It was fun running around with you Katniss." He says breathlessly. "You scared the hell out of me though."

I chuckle at him. Then I see the big scratch on his cheek.

"We should clean your cheek. Come on." I gesture him into the bathroom and he follows.

I wet a small cloth then slowly wipe the blood off his face. I smear some medicine for scratches incase people will start to question why he has a big mark on his face. At least if I put some medicine on it, it will heal faster.

"Thanks." He says while I'm done.

"No problem."

"What do we do now?" He asks.

"Why don't we go back to the bed and you can take my heels off." I say and lead him back to the room. He takes my heels off and places them beside the bed.

"Do you need help with anything else?" He asks.

"No, not now."

I go back to the bathroom and start taking my hair clips off. I brush my hair then go back to the room and ask Peeta to unzip my dress for me. Being the gentleman he is he turns around while I try to change. He doesn't want to leave yet. I can tell, he doesn't even pick up his jacket and he's placed his shoes next to me heels.

"Is that what you're going to wear as pajamas for the night?" I ask him.

"What?" he turns around to face me.

I walk towards him and start unfastening his tie, "I said: Is that what you're going to wear as pajamas for tonight?"

I think he gets what I mean. That I'm letting his stay here for the night.

"Um…well, I could just sleep with my boxers again." He says.

"If that's what you want. Go to the bathroom and get ready for bed." I tell him.

I get the bed ready and lie down under the covers. Peeta comes out a minute later with nothing but his blue boxers. I smile when he comes out.

"Scoot over love." He says.

"Peeta…don't start." I say through gritted teeth.

"I'm only joking with you. But did I really call you that?"

"Yes, you did. Way too many times for my liking."

"He gets under the covers with me and we lie there looking at each other telling stories.

"I've never been drunk before. It's actually quiet weird. Throughout the day, some flashes of last night just go through my head. I remember lying down and staring at nothing but light too." He says.

"Yeah, you were. I come out of your bathroom and you're lying there in your wet boxers staring at the light. You were so weird, you were like a child."

He smiles then wraps his arms around me.

"Goodnight." He says.

"Can you turn the light off please?"

Peeta gets up to turn the light off and slowly walks back to the bed so that he doesn't trip or fall.

"Goodnight," I say once we've gotten comfortable.

A wake up screaming and Peeta's wraps his arms around me calming me down. I hate these nightmares.

"I just want them to stop." I whisper in Peeta's chest.

"I know, it's okay. You're fine, its nothing. You're okay. They're okay." Even though Peeta doesn't know what I dreamt about his gets the idea.

He holds me until I fall sleep that night and I've never felt safer in my whole life.

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_Thanks for reading guys, I really appreciate. Please leave me what you think.  
Sorry for any grammar mistakes.  
Hope you enjoyed it._

__RestlessIdeas


	5. No One Else But Peeta

_Thank you for the reviews guys! Now I know what goes through your heads. Don't be afraid to let out anything you want to say in the review section below. Thank you for the favourites and follows. I love ya'll._

_Please enjoy this chapter._

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN THE HUNGER GAMES.**

* * *

**CHAPTER FIVE: NO ONE ELSE BUT PEETA**

When I make my way down to eat breakfast I hear a lot of people whispering about me. I try to ignore it when I hear my name because I think I'm just hearing it wrong. It's not until I hear the word 'flexible' that I turn around and glare at the attendants whispering behind my back. I try to remind myself that I shouldn't kill Peeta when he gets out of his room because he was only trying to make gossip. I quickly walk into the dining area and everyone is already eating their meal.

"Ah, good morning Katniss." Effie says. "And may I ask where you slept again last night?" She asks me.

"In my room." I say casually and people look at me, "No, seriously. I slept in my own room this time."

"Was Peeta there?" Effie says.

"Uh, well…he was." I answer and before Effie starts talking about 'inappropriate behaviour' I stop her, "But we didn't do anything. I swear, we just slept."

"Rumours are going around that you're quite flexible Katniss." Haymitch says then take drinks of his flask. I give him a murderous looks and he winks at me.

I cover my face with my hands out of embarrassment. The people on the table start laughing.

"It's okay Katniss, flexibility is a gift when it comes to doing…you know…what you and Peeta did." Fulvia says.

Effie tells Fulvia to be quiet and give Katniss a death look.

"Where is Peeta?" Cinna asks.

"He's in his room, getting ready." I say.

"Katniss, I don't like you getting up late for breakfast all the time. Why don't you take some of my sleeping pills tonight? And no more sleeping with Peeta. From now on you two sleep separately." Effie says and I start to argue straight away and my prep team takes my side during our argument.

"What's going on?" Peeta says behind us at the entrance.

"Nothing Peeta, why don't you join us for breakfast." Cinna offers.

He takes a seat next to me and mouths what we were arguing about.

"Thanks to you, everyone thinks I'm flexible." I whisper at him

Peeta smiles then looks around the table at the people busily trying to eat.

"Don't deny it. You were." He says and I kick him under the table.

"What are you doing?" I mouth at him.

"Play along…" He mouths back.

I hesitate and catch my breath, "Well, you didn't have to go telling people that, you know." I whisper loud enough for people to hear.

"Now Effie says the we can't be sleeping together" I whisper again enough for everyone to hear.

"What?" Peeta yells and bangs on the table and people let a gasp.

"Yes Peeta. You and Katniss will now sleep in your own room." Effie says calmly.

"Effie please, don't do this." Peeta begs.

"Peeta, you do as I say." Effie commands.

"Effie, you're not my mother." Peeta sound really serious. I don't think he likes Effie's new rule. Why would he anyway? He likes sleeping next to me and I won't disagree, I like sleeping next to him.

"Peeta, calm down." I tell him, attendants are stopping what they're doing to watch what's going on. Haymitch simply crosses his arms and watch. Haymitch is probably the only one who can stand up to Effie like that and to see Peeta disagree and stand up to Effie is something you don't see everyday.

"Peeta, I cannot have you and Katniss acting like this. It is disgraceful!" She spits back.

"Effie please, I can't sleep without Katniss." He pleads.

"Use the sleeping pills." She suggests.

"You don't understand!" Peeta yells and stands up.

"Peeta Mellark!"

"Peeta, I think you need to sit down." Cinna says.

Peeta sits and tries to catch his breath.

"I'm sorry for being rude but I can't agree with this." He says much more calmer.

I take hold of Peeta's hands and try to soothe him.

"Peeta just eat. It's not like we're not going to see each other." I assure him.

"Katniss…"

"Just eat." I tell him and we spend the rest of breakfast eating quietly. It is a bit awkward.

* * *

When Cinna tells my prep team to go so that he can fit me in my dress he talks to me about Peeta.

"I'm confused now Katniss, are you really a flexible person?" He starts and I ignore him.

"It's alright Katniss. I don't believe it, I heard you two having a fight last night. I walked past your room after I've had a drink."

"I don't feel comfortable with all the whispers and winks though." I frown.

"Peeta knows what he's doing." Cinna says.

"Do you think it's fair Cinna? That I play with Peeta's feeling like this?"

"Of course its not fair. But Katniss, don't blame yourself. You're not the only one playing with him. There's me, there's Haymitch, you're family and Gale. Peeta always comes to me talking about Gale. I can't help but feel sorry for him."

Peeta talks to Cinna about Gale?

"I know Cinna, but I'm the one to blame here. You're not the one hurting him, you're just trying to fix our problem. And I hate it when Peeta doesn't blame me."

"Peeta doesn't blame _us_ because that's just the kind of person Peeta is, he is a loving and caring boy. If I were a girl I would marry him with no hesitation at all."

"He's the man of any girls' dreams." I say, "Peeta doesn't deserve me and I don't deserve him. What do you think he sees in me Cinna?"

"Well, you're beautiful, you're strong, you're not very predictable like every other girl and you like a challenge. That's how I see you anyway, you would have to ask Peeta if you want to know what he sees in you."

"One day, another girl will take over Peeta's heart. Someone who will treat him with every love and care he deserves and I will just be a sad memory of him. That girl will help him forget about me and forget what he and to go through with me. She will make him the happiest man alive, you'll see." I hear my voice breaking at the last sentence.

"Katniss, what you don't understand is that Peeta has been in love with his whole life. Ever since he was five, if he hasn't fallen for other girls all that time then he never will. He sees nobody but you Katniss. Nobody but you, he's blinded by love. That's why a lot of people say that love is blind. You never know that the person your destined to be with might be right in front of you."

"It's not impossible for him to fall for someone else Cinna. Anything's possible right?"

I hear him hesitate before he answers, "If you say so Katniss...if you say so."

"His favorite color is orange." I tell Cinna.

"Then I should make you wear orange more often then."

"But it's not just orange orange. Like the sunset." I say and I see Cinna smile through the mirror.

"He has great taste. Come on Katniss we'll arrive in 8 in just about an hour. We wouldn't want to get your second mother angry."

"Who? Effie?"

"You guessed it."

"I honestly have no idea what Effie's problem is."

Cinna and I make our way to the front of the train where everyone else is waiting for our car. I stand next to Haymitch and he whispers in my ear, "Let's just hope the gossip reaches Snow sweetheart."

It's the same thing again for District 8, we say our speech, go to dinner and dance. Peeta comes up with another brilliant idea where we try to find a place to hide within the ballroom area and we kiss there until someone catches us. A little girl with her mother does. Peeta and I apologize then go and try to look adorable together again.

"I think when we get in the train we should be the last ones to go to sleep, so then we can sneak into your room together." Peeta suggests.

"There are attendants everywhere Peeta, let's just try to sleep separately tonight okay?"

"Katniss..."

"Let's not fight about this." I dismiss him.

* * *

When we get into the train Effie gives me some sleeping pills and tells me to take just one.

I manage to fall asleep and end up screaming myself awake again at midnight. Peeta runs into my bedroom and calms me down, I tell him to go back to bed and he says he doesn't want to. I manage to make him leave and regret it straight away.

How can I live with myself?

I don't wake up from anymore nightmare that night.

Effie wakes me in the morning and I get ready for breakfast. Peeta isn't there again, he probably couldn't sleep last night.

"Peeta refused my sleeping pills. See, now he's late again for breakfast." Effie comments.

Peeta joins us halfway through breakfast though and the bags under his eyes come back again. I can't help but feel guilty. He says a good morning then gives me a peck.

Our time at District 7 is the same as any other.

* * *

When I'm in bed a take more sleeping pills than I should because I just want to have a soundless sleep tonight.

It doesn't work though. I scream while I'm having a nightmare and I can't wake up fully and open my eyes because of the sleeping pills. Peeta runs in again and hold me until my eyes open.

I whimper and cuddle closer to Peeta holding onto his shirt for dear life.

"Peeta, what do you at night? While you walk the hallways?"

"I play a game. Sometimes I just walk around and think."

"What do you think about?" I ask him and he holds me tighter.

"Anything that pops in my mind really. I don't usually go to bed until I feel like I might drop any second and try to get some sleep. I keep waking up because in my dreams I always end up losing yo-" Peeta doesn't finish the word and I understand.

"Maybe I should go back and try to come up with another game." He loosens his grip on me and gets ready to leave. I grab onto his arm to stop him.

"Peeta...I...I would really like it if you...would stay, just in case...you know...I might have another nightmare." I ask him shyly and he looks at me questioningly.

"Are you sure? What if Effie-"

"I don't care about Effie. Please, just stay." I plead.

"Alright. Move over then."

I do what I'm told and Peeta wraps his arms around me and hold me tighter. I turn myself around and burrow my face in his chest. I smell the sweet scent of cinnamon, I can't deny that I miss that smell.

We fall in a dreamless slumber wrapped around each other that night. And a thought crosses my mind that Peeta, and only Peeta, is able to hold me and protect me like this. No one else but Peeta.

* * *

_This is quite a short chapter but I'm trying to write as fast as I can for you. _

_Please leave me what you think and thank you for the reviews. I read them and you guys have the best things to say and let's not blame Katniss people, at least she knows what she's doing wrong._

_Might upload next chapter tomorrow. STAY IN TOUCH. :)_

RestlessIdeas


	6. No More Special Kisses

_Here is another chapter. This one is a bit dramatic. I would have to be getting a lot more reviews to continue, it feels like people are not wanting to continue on reading this story. _

_Anyways, enjoy this chapter and leave me what you think._

_Enjoy! _

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN THE HUNGER GAMES.**_  
_

* * *

"Katniss wakey wakey!" Effie bangs continuously at the door.

When I open my eyes Peeta has woken up already, he's staring at me and ignoring Effie's interruption.

"Go lock the door." I whisper at him with a playful smile, he smiles back then runs to the door and locks it. Effie doesn't hear it click through her knocking.

"Katniss! Get up!"

"I'm coming!" I yell while Peeta starts lying down on the bed.

Effie stops knocking and leaves.

"Let's eat later." I tell Peeta, "I want to sleep in."

"Anything you want," He tucks a strand of my hair into my ear.

So Peeta and I tell stories to each other.

"Peeta…what do you…what do you see in me?"

He smiles with such wonder it gets me nervous, "I see everything beautiful in you."

I look at him confusingly and he knows that I don't get it. He sighs and continues, "Katniss…I can't stop loving you. I just fell for you, I fell for your beauty and I fell for your singing. Katniss, don't you get it? It's you, words cannot express one person's love for you. Katniss you're beautiful, you're a girl that I would die for, you're a fighter and you're...an angel."

His words get me teary and I sit up and wipe my eyes.

"Katniss?" Peeta says in a worried.

I feel him sit up next to me and I feel his hands on my waist.

"Why do you love me so much Peeta? Why did you have to fall for me?" I say shakily.

He wraps his arms around me.

"I don't care if I get hurt, you can't force me to not the love the person my heart pointed me to."

At his words I break, I start sobbing so hard I can barely breath. Peeta panics and apologizes.

"Katniss I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to- Katniss I'm sorry."

I look at him in the eye and wrap my arms around his neck and cry on his shoulder.

"Peeta, you're going to have to let me go. No matter how long it takes I can't keep torturing you like this."

"Katniss don't say that please."

I unwrap my arms from him and look at his blue eyes. "Do you really want to keep going on like this?"

He looks down at his hands and says nothing, "How does it feel Peeta, to see me with Gale? Be honest."

Peeta takes a deep breath in. He keeps his head down while he speaks, "To be honest with you, it's the worst feeling in the world. It's a mixture of hurt, hate and loneliness. I don't hate Gale, he's a good man but everytime I see you with him I- I-" He doesn't continue and he keeps his head down.

"Is...that...what you want...to keep feeling Peeta?" I say in between sobs.

"God, no Katniss. It's not a nice feeling, but you can't stop me from loving you." He looks up this time and his eyes are teary. A few more tears drop from my own eyes and Peeta wipes them off.

"If I died tomorrow, what would you do?" I whisper to him.

"I would die with you. I'd follow you wherever you'll go." He says with a small smile and my heart breaks completely.

"But I want you to live Peeta. Live your life and be happy."

"Life is nothing without you Katniss. You're my life. I'm nothing without you." And this time tears fall down from his eyes. I quickly wipe the tears and he starts chuckling.

"Look at us Katniss, were crying over...this..." He says.

"Peeta you deserve someone else you know. Another girl...she's waiting...for you." I say in between sobs.

Peeta gives me a small but sad smile, "I love you Katniss." These words confirm that he doesn't care. He wants me, and only me. If I could just fall in love with him right here then I wouldn't have to be hurting him anymore.

"Katniss please tell me that we're going to be friends no matter what."

I don't want to hurt him again so I nod. "...I...I promise." I start getting the hiccups and Peeta wraps his arms around me again. I wrap my arms tightly around his neck, I blink the tears away and move closer.

"Katniss, please don't blame yourself. The last thing I need is for you to get hurt." He mutters.

I don't say anything because I can't promise that. I've figured out now that when I feel like I've hurt Peeta my heart breaks as well. Instead I move closer again until I'm flushed against him.

Peeta gets me to lie back down with him. We lie down looking at each other, I'm still crying and Peeta keeps wiping my tears away.

"Can you sing for me please? I haven't heard you in a long time." Peeta wants me to sing.

I try to calm down and stop the hiccups. I start singing to Peeta, the words shakily come out. Peeta smiles wider as I sing and when I finish the first verse I kiss him. I don't know what came over me but I just want to apologize for everything so I kiss him with as much passion as I can. I position myself so that I'm on top of him. In an instant Peeta deepens our kiss.

I feel his tongue on my bottom lip and I don't know what to do. It's as if he wants me to open. So I grant his tongue entry into my mouth. Peeta shifts our position so now he's on top of me and I'm lying comfortably on the covers.

I run my hands all over his hair and Peeta's hand go under my shirt. I stop kissing him immediately and come to my senses. He looks at me confusingly and I push him back off me slowly.

"Um..." I push him away and sit on the edge of the bed.

"I'm sorry, I'm going to have some breakfast incase Effie comes knocking again." I say.

I don't look back at him and and he doesn't say anything. I stand up and make my way to the door. I close the door behind me and lean my back on it.

_Katniss, what are you doing?_

Everytime I try to push Peeta away I end up pulling him back. And the worst thing is that it's me that pulls him back and then I push him away again. That's me, Katniss Everdeen, a player.

I start sobbing again but this time quietly so that Peeta, on the other side of this door, doesn't hear me. I slide down to the ground and huddle my knees into my chest and wrap my arms around it. I wonder how Peeta's feeling on the other side of this door. If he's just lying there, guilty again. Guilty over nothing.

I hear shuffling footsteps to my left and quickly stand up and wipe my tears away.

"I saw you crying sweetheart." That was Haymitch, I look around and Haymitch stands a few meters away from me.

"What is it now sweetheart?"

I walk to him and throw my arms around his neck. "Haymitch, I can't do this anymore. I can't keep pretending. It's ruining everything."

"I know sweetheart. But it's the only way, you want to protect your family you have to do this."

"But it's hurting Peeta!" I say loudly, "I can't even convince him that he should forget about me, let me go and stop worrying."

"Katniss, pushing him away won't work. You're going to have to learn to love him Katniss. Don't forget, it's not just Snow,you're trying to convince, it's the while of Panem. To prevent and uprising you must show the whole world hoe much you love him. You'll have to marry him Katniss."

The impact of Haymitch's words hits me. I'll have to show the whole world how much I love Peeta, by marrying him. But I don't want to marry Peeta and I don't want to have to keep pretending for the rest of my life.

_"You're going to have to learn to love him Katniss." _I remember Haymitch's words from two seconds ago.

I take my arms away from Haymitch and he goes to eat breakfast. I head to a bathroom in the train and wash the redness of my face. Haymitch is right, I'm going to have to accept that Peeta will be a part of my life forever. I never wanted to marry anybody or have kids. Kids... I try not to worry about it. Peeta will be the best father in the whole world anyway. But marriage and kids were never part of my plans and I'm doing it all for a crows, for those stupid cameras that watch my every move.

I head to breakfast and I can see that people know that I've been crying. They keep looking at my eyes, I guess I didn't wipe it properly.

When I make my way back to my room Peeta's not there anymore, the bed's fixed and I get ready for the day. I don't see Peeta until we get in the car for District 6. I can't even look at him.

"I really like your dress." He says on the way to the Justice Building and I ignore him, I just give him a smile. Cinna made me wear a nice and short orange dress. I didn't pay much attention to anything anyone was telling me all day. I just a lot going through my head.

When we get to dinner, I remind myself that it's time for the cameras. To stick by Peeta's side, kiss him, hold him and try to show how much I love him. One minute Peeta and I are ignoring each other and the next we're kissing in the corner.

Peeta starts drinking again but he doesn't drink enough to get him drunk. I fall asleep in the car and wake up when I'm in my compartment and Peeta's taking my heels off. He catches me looking at him and he smiles.

"Just thought I'd get your heels off then tuck you in for bed." He says.

I sit up slowly, take his hands of my shoes and remove the heels myself.

"Katniss...about this morning, I'm sorry I got carried away."

I look at him sadly. "Peeta don't. Please don't. You have absolutely nothing to apologize for."

He shakes his head, disagreeing with me then gets out of the room. I'm left alone thinking why he left so soon. When I get out of the bathroom after getting for a bed I hear his soft knocking on the door.

I open the door and he stands outside in his pajamas. I let him in and welcome him to my bed. Peeta falls asleep quickly and I find myself watching him sleep. He looks younger while he's asleep, peaceful even. I think of another girl, another girl that would be in my shoes right now. A girl who loves him, a girl who'll be watching him at this very moment with such adoring wonder. Sadly, that girl won't exist. She won't exist if Peeta and I end up getting married just like what Haymitch said. And who am I to reflect on who Peeta will end up with. Peeta wants me and I can't give myself to him the way he desires me too.

I'll just have to accept that the girl that'll be watching him sleep at night will be me.

I keep my gaze at him and trace his jaw with my finger.

Peeta's face starts going stern. He starts mumbling but I can't understand a word he says. I start to get worried. I shake him softly; whispering his name while I'm at it. His words start getting louder but they are still unclear. Out of the blue, I get scared.

"Peeta!" I say brasher and his eyes snap open, he starts to panic then sits up quickly; flaying his legs around the covers. "Peeta, calm down. It's okay." I grab hold of his hands since I don't know what to do. I can't comfort a person the way Peeta does.

"Ka- Katniss?" He utters in between his quick breaths.

"Peeta, It's okay. I'm here."

Peeta turns and wraps me securely around in his arms. "Yo- you're safe. Thank God you're okay." He pants, "You- you were gone and- and I- I- couldn't f-find yo- you. I was so- so scared."

"I'm right here Peeta. I never left."

He gives me one last squeeze then softens his hold on me. He leans his forehead on mine and caress my cheek.

"You scared me Peeta." I whimper like a small child.

He kisses my forehead then my nose. I place my arms around his neck and let him hold me just like that. He leans in and kisses me and at first I don't react. I might as well get used to Peeta's surprise kisses, it's better than kissing in front of the cameras for people. Everytime Peeta kisses me with no one watching I call those kisses 'special'. They're special for me.

I feel his lips move against mine and I follow. He starts moving me and makes me lie back down on the bed. It's just like what happened this morning. With our kiss getting deeper and a moan escapes my lips.

Peeta starts to slow the kiss down and soon enough his lips aren't on mine. I open my eyes and look at him towering over me. He looks at me puzzlingly and I wait for him to make a move. He just looks at me, he might be thinking about what happened this morning and he doesn't want it to happen again.

I don't think twice about what I do but I do it anyway. I make the move; I reach for Peeta's lips and kiss him. Our kiss becomes wet and deep with passion we never knew we could muster. I tug at Peeta's shirt and slowly take it off him. Before Peeta can take mine off, the train might've bumped into something on the tracks which made Peeta and I stop.

_What was I thinking?_

Peeta lies back down on his side of the bed and I excuse someone to the bathroom. I wet my face with cold water while I'm in here.

_What are you doing Katniss? _A voice inside my head says and I really don't know. I have not one idea what I'm doing. I go back to the room and Peeta lies on the bed.

"Are you okay?" He says.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Move over."

He scoots and I lie down facing away from him. I'm not really close to him either, his arms aren't around me. I try to get some sleep but I can't, soon enough I hear Peeta's quiet snoring. I turn around and move closer to Peeta. I realise he didn't put his shirt back on because I can feel his bare skin on my cheek as I burrow myself into him. Peeta moves to reflex and wraps his arms around me.

I don't know what kind of relationship Peeta and I have. I know that we are friends but we kiss. Not just in front of the cameras but we kiss without them as well. I shouldn't worry about it because we might just keep getting carried away and it's probably hard for Peeta to control himself around me. But I made the first move a while ago, Peeta and I have kissed thousands of time but to kiss him with that much passion feels really foreign to me.

I should just try to avoid the foreign area in case anything else happens. From this time on, I'll just kiss Peeta in front of the cameras and try to fall in too deep to our kissing routines. Friends don't kiss. If we are to kiss, from now on; it will be in front of the cameras, just like before.

But how am I going to tell Peeta that. He can't help himself around me but what I did a while ago shows that I'm a little careless as well. I shouldn't tell Peeta, if he starts kissing me without the cameras I will just try to avoid it or not kiss back at all.

No more special kisses. I'll try to keep it that way.

* * *

_Did you guys like that? A little disappointed at what Katniss just did? Katniss is just way too stubborn isn't she? Honestly, that woman.  
Please tell me what you think and review it will really help me continue this story.  
Thanks for reading!_

RestlessIdeas


	7. Picture Perfect Sunrise

_Thanks for the feedback guys. I keep in mind what you guys say about the story and if you want to point out something just say so. Thanks for the favouraters, followers viewers and reviewers. _

_Enjoy this, it's longer than I though. Please forgive me for any grammar mistakes. I don't like proof-reading really long stories. Lol._

_Again, enjoy!_

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN THE HUNGER GAMES.**

* * *

**CHAPTER SEVEN: PICTURE PERFECT SUNRISE**

I wake up in the middle of the night after a dreadful nightmare about mutts. I wake up gasping for breath and Peeta calms me down. He tries to give me a kiss and I remember the vow I made to myself, probably just four hours ago, and he ends up kissing my cheek. I don't think he realized that I turned away in purpose.

We fall back asleep and I wake up first when it's dawn. The sun's rays are just reflecting inside my room. Today we visit District 5, then we have Districts; 4, 3, 2,1, The Capitol and then we're home. Home…with Prim and my mother. I can only hope that Peeta and I somehow get out of this triumphant and my family will be safe from any sort of harm.

I don't feel like staying in bed any longer so I unwrap myself from Peeta and get out of the compartment. I walk around the hallways trying to find something to do. I walk past a few doors and one of them triggers a memory in my head. I look at the door and the area I'm in in. I'm further back in the hallways and I remember being here when Peeta showed me those paintings. I open the door slowly and I see the paintings of mutts, the arena and the berries. I close the door behind me and walk to the middle of the room. I look around and start recognizing Peeta's paintings.

They really are beautiful, they look so real. As if they're photographed. I look at the paintings that have me on it. I take my time to admire the way Peeta drew me. The braid on my head, the color of my eyes and he actually makes me look better on the painting than in real life.

I take another look around and at the back of the room…I could just make out just a tip of a painting. It covered with the other paintings and I slowly reach for it. When I've taken out the painting, it's actually not a large size, it's small. I wipe some dust of it and I can't believe what I'm seeing.

"It's a little girl…" I whisper to myself.

"A girl in a red dress and two braids-"

"Instead of one." Peeta finished my sentence for me and I turn around and he's standing in the doorway.

"I remember that day perfectly. I drew so many versions of you sitting on that stool and I could never perfect it. I was happy with this one but I don't think it's still perfect. I was thinking of throwing it out and starting another."

"No…it's nice. It's perfect to me anyway." I murmur and stare at the painting. It really does look beautiful, well the little girl does. Her mouth partially opening while she sings and both hands placed on her lap. I like it and I look happy in this picture. I don't really remember this day, I was five years old and I had too many things happening later on in my life to worry about this day.

"Really?" Peeta asks.

"Yes really. Thank you Peeta." I say I slowly start returning the picture where I found it: behind the painting of the lake.

"You can keep it. I have too many…" He chuckles while he says his last sentence.

I look at him for confirmation and he nods at me, I pick the get the painting back and hold it to my chest. He starts moving around the room and grabbing some things while he's at it. I watch him get some paint from the corner, an easel, some paint brushes and a stool. He sets them in the middle of the room. Maybe Peeta's going to paint another picture, I would really like to watch him do that.

He goes back to the corner of the room and he grabs another stool and places it next to the other one. He looks at me and smiles.

"Come on, I want to see you paint." He says.

"What? No…no Peeta…just no."

"Katniss come on. I'll help you."

"You can't make me."

He puts in an extremely serious face, "Give me back that painting then." He puts his hand out. He's asking for the painting of me when I was five. I hug it tightly to my chest and shake my head.

"You want to keep it, come here and paint with me."

I give him an annoyed look. He bravely keeps his gaze at me and smiles a little to encourage me to say "Yes Peeta, I will paint with you." But I stand thinking about it. I'm no painter; I've never really drawn anything in my life.

"Maybe I could give it a go." I say and his eyes start shining. I place my painting on a table and sit on the stool in front of the easel.

"I never thought this would be happening." Peeta mutters quietly and I can just make out the excitement on his voice. He hands me a brush and tells me to hold it like a pen or how I feel comfortable holding it.

"Okay what do you want to paint?"

I shrug, I don't really know how this works.

"Well, you're favorite color is green. What's green Katniss?"

"The forest and the woods I guess." I say.

"That's good. That's what you see when you think of green. Just like I see the sunset when I think about orange. Painting and art are all about colors. The colors are the ones that make it beautiful and show the heart of the painting." I listen attentively to him, Peeta really have a way with words. "So you should paint the Woods. And paint it the way you see it, your vision is much more beautiful than what you imagine the woods to look like. You've been around the woods, seen the types of trees and everything. The way you see it is much more beautiful and that's how you should paint it. Don't come up with any weird trees, we're not doing your imagination we're painting your vision."

I nod at him and he looks at me. Waiting for me to start. I sit there staring at the easel with a beautiful vision of the Woods in my head.

"What color should I start with?" I ask him and he smiles at me.

"What do you see?"

"Well…green." I say.

"It's not just green is it?"

"No, it's darker. The trees are covering the sun so it looks darker because of the shade." I say.

Peeta smiles at me adoringly. He helps me mix the colors together and show me how to do strokes and different ways of painting the plants on the woods.

"I think I can manage this leaf." I say and carefully draw a leaf.

"Can you continue by yourself?" He asks me.

"I think so; can I call you if I need to paint a bush or something?" I ask him.

"I'll be here when you need me." He moves and gets another easel. He takes his stool and positions himself to my right side, the easel is turned away from me and Peeta sits down looking at me with the easel facing him.

"What are you going to paint?" I ask him.

"The most beautiful thing in the world."

"Okay, why can't you paint beside me?"

"I don't want you getting distracted while you're painting your forest. Plus, I don't want you to see what I'm painting."

I leave him alone and continue painting. Peeta has done most of the trees, which is so beautiful. It looks exactly like how I would see it and I have no idea how Peeta was able to capture what I was able to see in my head. I just tell him what it looks like and he tries his best to show me how to do it properly.

I take a look at the painting and my trees don't look very realistic.

"Peeta, my trees don't look real."

"That's OK Katniss, it's your first time. I'll help you when you're done." He says then looks at me and changes his gaze back at what he was painting. After a few seconds he looks up again then looks back at his ease. I watch him for a few minutes and realize what he's doing.

"Peeta, what _are_ you painting?"

"I told you, the most beautiful thing in the world."

"Can I at least see it?"

"When I've finished it." He tells me.

He looks at my painting and smiles. "Looks good," He says.

"I can't do it without you, my trees don't look too good."

I try to continue and I can't get it right. Peeta finishes his painting but he still doesn't show me.

"Alright, what's the problem here?" He asks me.

"I don't know how to…do it." I whine at him.

He smiles at me and supports me while I continue painting. I scoot my stool over and to give him some space so that he can comfortably help me with the painting of the woods.

I finally decide that I am no painter so I hand him the brush and he gladly continues it himself but he is still unhappy that I didn't continue. I sit down beside him watching with concentration. I watch him work and while Peeta paints there's this intense concentration and look he puts on his face. Peeta looks like he's on his own world when he's painting; it's as if I'm not there. It shows the passion he has for painting and love for it.

I look back at the painting and it looks better already. It's definitely better than what it looked like a few minutes ago when I was painting. I watch the picture evolve from a plain green colored painting of the woods from a picture perfect reality. It looks like a photo; it's exactly how I pictured it. I'm mesmerized by the painting and I feel a little home-sick. The woods remind me of my time of hunting, where I wasn't always watched, where I am free and it reminds me of the time I spent with Gale.

I wish I could go there right now and not worry about a thing. I wish that my sister was never reaped for the games and that I never had to volunteer. If that happened I would still be in the woods right now, hunting for food. Having Gale watch my back and us mocking the Capitol. And Peeta…where would Peeta be? He would've still been reaped, entered the Games and what if he hadn't survived? He would be dead…gone. I never would've met him, never would have known that a boy like him actually loves me, I would have never been able to thank him for the bread when we were 11, I wouldn't know how it feels like to have his lips on mine, I wouldn't be having nightmares last night, I wouldn't be in this whole Snow business and I wouldn't be here on the train, right now watching Peeta paint.

I don't know if having Peeta dead would be good or bad. Having been able to meet Peeta has its pros and cons but at the end of the day I'm happy to have met him.

I continue watching Peeta paint and he finishes a few minutes later.

"There. How does it look?" He asks me.

"Just how I wanted it."

"You like it then?"

"I love it." I say.

"We'll leave it on top of a table somewhere. I'll make a room for it." He says.

I look past Peeta and see the small easel he was painting before.

"Can I see your painting now?" I ask him.

"Um, maybe next time. I don't really want you to see it."

"Why not?"

"Well, you might not like it."

"I'll be the judge of that." I start standing but Peeta stops me.

"I'll show you next time."

"But I want to see it now." I whine.

"Come on, let's get out of here." He stands up, grabs my shoulders, turns me around and start leading us out of the room. He closes the door behind me when we get out.

"I'll show you something else if you want." He says.

"What?"

"Uh, why don't we go watch the sunrise."

"We can't go out of the train."

"I know the best place to watch it. We don't go outside though, we stay inside the train; we watch it through the window." He says.

"Fine then." I say and he takes my hand and starts leading me down the train.

We end up in an open area I haven't been in before. It's further back in the train and there's a really really wide window on one side. That's where the sun is rising; it's an open space with the floor cleared and everything. Not one furniture lies in this area.

Peeta lets go of my hand lies down on the floor with his arms supporting his weight. I mimic his moves and we're watching the sun rising together.

"Back home, I would go up the bakery roof and watch the sunset. I wasn't able to do it every night because of my mother. She's always calling me down to do chores. The times when I get to watch the sunset are special to me. One time I risked a beating to watch the sunset again because when I started painting it, I was confused about the color. I risked a beating from my mother to make sure I got the color right." He tells me.

I move closer to Peeta and lean on his shoulder and he put his arm around me.

"This moment is much more special than all the times I watched the sunsets. I get to spend it with you." He kisses my forehead.

As usual, I keep quiet. I keep and watch the sunrise, watch the way the color of the horizon change as the sun rises. It's beautiful, even though it's blocked by some tree, it's beautiful.

"Thanks for sharing this moment with me Katniss. Means a lot."

I snuggle closer to him and continue watching the sun rise. I try to enjoy this moment because I have never seen something so beautiful in my life. This is another thing that only Peeta can show me and do to me. To show me and make me feel beautiful. This is probably the only time that Peeta and I will have a moment like this and I don't want it to end so soon.

"Can we come here every morning? Seeing us we can't watch the sunset because we'll be at dinner." I say to him.

"If that's what you want. Sure."

We lay on the floor until the rises completely and now it's just stinging our eyes. We go back to my room because it is still early. Peeta and I lie back on the bed and get under the covers.

"When we go home, how long do you think until the cameras disappear?" Peeta asks me.

"Maybe they won't go as quick as we would think. Maybe after a few months." I suggest.

"What's going to be left of us when we get home Katniss?"

"What we don't want to leave behind I guess." I say casually as if those words don't have an impact on me but they do.

_What is going to be left when we go home?_

We surely wouldn't have to be kissing 24/7, no more dinners, lame dancing, speeches, no more heavy make-up and no more Peeta keeping my nightmares away at night. Now that thought scares me, Peeta's the only one who can make me calm down at night. I mean, he is the only one who has.

I really should exaggerate about this but my nightmares scare the living hell out of me and the thought of not having Peeta there to hold me is almost unbearable. We'll just have to wait and see what's going to happen. Who knows, maybe Prim and my own mother can help me with my nightmares.

I put the covers more securely around me.

I look at the time and it a little after 6. I don't just want to lie on the bed and having another personal conversation which will only lead to drama. I don't know what to do though, maybe I should just let Peeta decide.

"I'm bored," I say. "You're really boring Peeta."

Peeta looks at me incredulously, 'What? Am I really?"

"Yes, let's do something." I whine at him.

"Like what?"

"Anything."

I see his face turn to thinking mode.

"Well, I'm starting to get hungry." He says.

"Good. Let us go and find something to eat." I jump out of bed and drag him out with me.

We move down the hallways passing some attendants who have already woken up.

We make it to the dining area.

"Well, do we just order at the counter or what?" I ask.

"I think you order, we don't even have access to the kitchen."

Peeta and I go to the counter and order a nice big breakfast. We order some tea and I figured out that Peeta doesn't like sugar in his, we ask for some toasted bread, some chocolate muffins or treats and we order some pancakes. We sit on the table waiting for our order.

"I don't want to eat breakfast here. With the attendants watching our every move and stuff." Peeta says.

"Where do you suggest we eat then?"

"We could go back to where we watched the sunrise. It's an open area, we could just place our food on the floor and eat. We could look at the scenery from that window." Peeta suggests.

"The train moves a little to fast, the world will go by as a blur."

"Katniss...please." Everytime Peeta starts pleading the way he does I can't say no.

"Fine." I grumble.

The attendants offer to carry the tray of food to where were going to be eating but we don't accept their offer and carry the trays ourselves.

"Set them in the middle of the room." Peeta says.

"Sir yes sir." I say sarcastically.

I place my tray and Peeta follows. We sit next to each other, the window in front of us.

I start sipping from my tea and take a bite at a muffin.

"Why don't you put sugar in your tea Peeta?"

"I don't know, I like it better without the sugar then I can really taste the tea."

"But it's so sour."

He shrugs, "I like it better without the sugar."

"You're weird." I say jokingly.

"And you're beautiful." He says.

I smile at him and pinch his nose, "You cheeky little monkey." I say moving his nose side by side.

"I'm a very cheeky little monkey..." He says and his voice sounds toned-out because I'm still pinching his nose. I let go eventually.

"You're muffin looks very delicious Katniss." He says staring at it.

"Here. Have it." I shove the muffin in his mouth and I let out a smile of succession.

"Fanks." He says with his mouth full.

I grab another muffin and start eating it. We watch the skies go brighter and see the forest landscape go by.

"I would really like to see the ocean when we go past 4. Tomorrow, I think, we're going to 4." Peeta says.

I feel a little excited because I have never seen the ocean.

"I heard that watching the sunset from the oceans is much more beautiful. That's where you can really see the sun and the clear color of the orange horizon."

Peeta has so much passion for beautiful things while I don't even give up time to acknowledged them. I've grown to like spending time with Peeta because he doesn't make me think to much about Snow or what's going to happen to our family. As much as it bothers him, he tries to calm me down by letting me see the beautiful things the world has to offer rather than saying the world is a sick place all the time because of the state it's in. No matter how bad our economy and country is now Peeta can see past that and show me that flowers are still able to bloom.

Flowers. When I think of the flowers I think of dandelions. When I think of dandelions I remember believing that there's still hope, the day after Peeta gave me that bread. Peeta; the boy with the bread. To me; Peeta is always going to be the boy with the bread, I'm not going to look at him as some boy I will be forced to marry in the future, not as my lover, not as my boyfriend but as the boy with the bread.

I stare intently at Peeta's blue eyes and I can still see him. The boy that gave me that bread a few years back. I smile at him and he catches me staring.

"What are you looking at?"

I think of a quick excuse but I can't. "Ummm..." I mumble and then I see a little chocolate on his chin, it's quite small and it's barely noticeable.

"I was just going to..." I put my hand up and wipe the icing away, "You had something on your chin."

"Thanks."

Peeta puts some syrup on a pancake and tastes it.

"Mmmm… It's delicious. Here, try some."

I'm about to grab the syrup to pour on another pancake but Peeta moves quickly and feeds me some. As soon as the syrup and the pancake make contact with my tongue I let out a quiet moan. It is delicious, the syrup is nice and sweet and the pancake is cooked perfectly.

"Nice right?" Peeta asks me.

I nod my head vigorously and ask for more, he feeds me some more and I completely fall in love with the pancakes.

"I can't believe I never tried these before." I say.

Peeta chuckles at my reaction and eats some more. We only ordered 5 pancakes and Peeta and I have both devoured one. That means there're three left.

"We'll half the last one alright." Peeta says.

I agree with him and we continue eating until we have saved the best for last.

"You half it." I tell him.

He moves his hands to where _he thinks _the middle is and I object straight away.

"That's not the middle!" I say and I point to where _I think _ the middle may be. "That's where it is."

"No Katniss, This is where the middle is." He goes back to where he was pointing at.

"Peeta, I'm pretty sure it's here. Look, if we do yours the left side is larger than the right one."

"And if we cut on yours Katniss the left side will be smaller."

"Let's take another look." He continues.

We stare at the pancake looking at the pancake figuring out where the middle is.

"Alright Peeta this is ridiculous. I mean, it's the middle of the pancake. How hard is it to look for the middle of a pancake." I say to him.

"You're right. Well I'm pretty sure the middle is here." He shows and grabs the knife and fork.

"No. It's here, you can clearly see the middle is right here Peeta." He hands over the knife and fork and I show him where my middle of the pancake is.

"Katniss, you're clearly not very good at Maths. My calculations show that it's where I pointed it."

"Maybe you're calculations are wrong ever thought about that?"

Peeta and I look at each other in disbelief. I smile tugs at his lips and we both start laughing.

"This is silly. We're fighting over a pancake." I tell him.

"I got an idea. Why don't we just bite on both sides and then we'll try to just bite a bigger piece." He says.

I look at him suspiciously to see if he somehow has a plan behind this.

"Alright then, put the syrup on."

He starts pouring some of those delicious maple syrup on top of the pancake and picks it up placing it in between our faces.

"I'll count to three and we both take a bite." Peeta says.

I simply nod because I can't wait to take a bite.

"Wait, on or after three?" I ask him.

"After three." He confirms.

"One." He says and suddenly I'm reminded of the same kind of thing that's happened before.

"Two." He looks at me with a smile.

The berries. This is just like what happened with the berries. I start to freak out, as soon as Peeta says three he will swallow the berries and then he'll get poisoned and...die.

"Three."

"No!" As soon as he opens his mouth I smack the berries off his hands and it falls to the ground. I look at it and blink a few times. They're not berries, it's a pancake.

"Katniss! That wasn't very nice! Why'd you do that?" His voice is high and it sounds disappointing, I look at him and I can't find the words to say. I just sit there looking like an idiot.

"Peeta I'm- I'm sorry." I mumble and I stand up and run to the closest toilet and lock myself in there.

I think I'm going crazy. What was that about?

I smacked the pancake off Peeta's hands because I thought they were berries. I am going crazy. The thought of Peeta dying scares me. And while I'm thinking about it now, I feel myself shaking.

The thought of losing Peeta makes me want to hide and cry. I don't want to lose him.

Is the same feeling that Peeta gets when he thinks about loosing me?

Before I can think further on it I hear Peeta's footsteps and soon enough he starts knocking on the door.

"Katniss? Katniss? Are you okay?" He asks worriedly.

"If this is about the pancake? It's okay." He says jokingly.

I slowly unlock the door and open the door. I see Peeta smiling at worriedly at him. I don't even know how that's possible, to smile worriedly at someone.

"Hey there." He says sweetly.

"I'm sorry Peeta."

"It's okay we can't eat it now, it's been on the floor. I couldn't save the poor pancake in time."

He still thinks I'm upset about the pancake.

"You know we haven't finished our breakfast yet." He continues.

"Let's go finish it then." I say and we go back to where our breakfast is.

We continue eating and we return put empty dishes to the attendants. Peeta and I go to our separate rooms to get ready when I have just finished and open the door to get out of my room I meet Effie Trinket down the hallways.

"Oh! Katniss you're early. I wanted to talk to you about something. Come." Effie gestures me to the dining table.

"Have you had your breakfast already?" Effie asks me.

"Yeah, I have."

"Can I have one coffee please," Effie says to an attendant.

"Now Katniss...a lot of the attendants seem to talk about you and Peeta." She starts.

"Here we go." I say under my breath.

"What was that?"

"Oh nothing, uh, you were saying?"

"I was saying that some attendants see Peeta go into your bedroom every night. Katniss, didn't we talk about this?"

"We have Effie but-"

"No buts, some attendants are, already selling this story to the camera crews as we go by the districts, sooner or later it will reach the Capitol then the whole of Panem. What would your mother think that you "sleep" with a boy at such a young age?" Effie puts bunny ears around the word sleep. As foe my mother, my mother would try to act as if she is shocked if she ever hears the gossip, Prim would probably think silly of it and Gale. Well I don't know about Gale, he might get mad but he would know that it's not true. I mean, I don't even sleep with Peeta, just beside him.

"Katniss, please don't put a bad name into your relationship with Peeta." Effie pleads.

"Effie...okay, we'll try to be more discrete." I don't keep this as a promise to Effie, it's a great opportunity to convince people. If the Panem finds out I sleep with him then let them. They might finally get convinced.

"I know that you two love each other very much and I don't want to get in the way of your relationship but please wait until we get home then you can continue your sleeping arrangement." Effie says softly, "The only way to show someone you love them is making love to them right?" Effie asks jokingly.

I nod and answer a quiet, "I guess so."

Cinna walks in and I excuse myself to look for Peeta. I knock at his bedroom door but he's not there, I go back to where we ate breakfast but he's no there either. Where is he?

I try to think, but I can only think of one place.

I make my day down the hallways, hopefully he's there painting another picture.

I knock on the door and I can heat him shuffling inside.

"Peeta?"

"Yeah Katniss I'll be right out I was just pain-" He stops talking.

"I was actually just fixing the picture we painted a while ago." He says and his voice is somehow muffled.

He opens the door and come out.

"I was looking for you." I say.

"I'm sorry, I just thought I should put your painting securely in the corner to dry properly." He says.

I accept his excuse, "Okay, what are we going to do before we get called to get dressed?" I ask him.

"I really have no idea. Why don't we go watch some Capitol broadcast or something." Peeta suggest and I agree with him.

We sit down and watch. We watch until Effie calls us to get change.

* * *

District wasn't that bad. We said our speech, danced when we were at dinner and it was quite fun. I let Peeta have a couple of drinks with Haymitch. Thank God he didn't get drunk but he's walking is a bit wobbly. I keep a tight grip on his hand while we walk back to the car.

"I think I can walk Katniss." He says.

"Alright then." I let go off his hand and he start stumbling but keeps his balance. I'm walking faster than him and he gets left behind.

"Katniss? Wait up." I hear him mumble behind me.

"Peeta hurry up, where the only ones behind."

"I'm coming." He says and starts walking faster but then he trips and falls down on the ground.

I roll my eyes and go to him, helping him up. "Maybe I need to hold your hand." He suggests.

"Good idea." I say.

We get in the train and Peeta goes to his room to change. I say a goodnight to Cinna and Haymitch who is having a conversation. I enter my room and take a bath. I soak in the water for what feels like hours because I am so tired.

After I think I've soaked long enough I get up and dry myself. I wrap my towel around myself and make my way out the bathroom and shocked when I see Peeta standing there. He eyes go wide and I run inside the bathroom.

"Katniss I am so sorry!" He yells.

"No! It's okay!" I yell back. "Just pass me some clothes and I'll change in here!" I continue.

"Alright then!" I hear him opening my wardrobe and closing it.

"Katniss…where do you keep your underwear?" He asks loudly.

"Um, on the second drawer at the bottom."

"Thanks! What color would you like love?"

"Just give me an underwear!"

"Okay, open the door." I open it slightly and he hands me my clothes. I get changed in the bathroom and dry my hair.

When I get out Peeta is lying on the bed counting his fingers.

"Peeta, what are you doing?" I say and go under the covers.

"I was counting how long you were in there with the help of my fingers." He explains.

"15 minutes you were in there." He says.

"I'm sorry I took too long, I was probably drying my hair."

"Katniss, can we eat breakfast down there again?" Peeta asks.

"If we wake up before Effie bangs on the door we can." I say.

"Goodnight Katniss."

"Goodnight Peeta."

He smiles at me and I do the same. He fixes the covers around me, puts his arms around me then closes his eyes to sleep. I slowly get up again and go and close the lights. I fall asleep wrapped safely around Peeta breathing into his neck.

* * *

_Wow, that was long. Thank you for reading guys, please review._

_Keep in touch for the next chapter. :)_

__RestlessIdeas


	8. None Of This Will Mean Anything

_Thanks for the review guys, sorry for the 2 day wait for this chapter, I made it longer and I'm finding less time to write it. _

_Your reviews have helped me with my writing because some of you write what you like and what you don't like about this story and it helps me make the next chapters better as I write them. _

_A thank you to the Guest reviewer you said that Katniss was OOC because she was being spoilt. Katniss in this fanfiction is just really confused about the whole Peeta thing and I wanted to make this story drama, that's why Peeta and Katniss have a lot of misunderstanding. I never intended on making Katniss mean and spoilt but she is just really stressed out and confused that her wild side shows. Thank for your review anyway because it has helped me understand the way you look at Katniss._

_Guys, just to get you excited. We have only a few districts to go and this is when Katniss starts to really understand the way Peeta loves her. In the past chapters you could see that she questions a lot about it, now she's just going with the flow. _

_Anyways! Enjoy!_

_SORRY FOR ANY GRAMMAR MISTAKES_

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN THE HUNGER GAMES. **

* * *

**CHAPTER EIGHT: NONE OF THIS WILL MEAN ANYTHING**

"Can we please have two cups of coffee, another one of those delicious pancakes, give us six of those please, two toasts of bread with…"

"What butter do you want Peeta?"

"Peanut butter."

"And two toasts with peanut butter." I tell the attendant listening to out breakfast order.

They take our order and we sit down on the table again and wait for our order.

"What time is it?" I ask Peeta.

"Uh, 5:44…am." Peeta says.

"Sun's coming out soon. I have to tell you, it's hard looking at the sun while it's rising, hurts my eyes." I say.

"We don't have to look at it, we'll just eat in the area. Sunsets are more beautiful and, they barely hurt your eyes."

"Sunsets are all you talk about Peeta." I say.

"We're going to 4 today aren't we?"

"Yes, why?"

"We could catch a sunset in the ocean!" He exclaims.

"Peeta we won't, we'll be at dinner."

"Hm..we could try to sneak out again." Peeta says quietly.

"What if we get caught?"

"Katniss, please…this is my first time seeing it in the ocean; I really want to see the sunset there. Please Katniss please." He begs.

"Peeta, if we get caught by Effie. She will surely kill us and I'm always the one talking to her and getting lectured." I protest.

"Katniss please!" He gets down on his knees and begs in front of me. I look around the room at the people staring.

"Peeta! Get up!" I say sharply.

"Katniss, please please please please please…" He pleads desperately.

"Peeta get up!"

He refuse and starts kissing my foot I back away immediately.

"Peeta!"

"Katniss please and I'll I'll…" He looks around the room looking for an excuse.

"I'll stop…uh…" He lowers his voice as he says the next few words, "Walking into your bathroom while you're naked!" He says a bit louder but it doesn't sound forced and attendants that are working give us a look.

"Peeta!" I snarl at him and smack his shoulder.

"Katniss please…" He asks desperately, "Why don't you sneak out yourself?" I ask him.

"Don't you want to see it with me?" He asks, his voice flat.

"No, I would like to but I wouldn't love to." I explain.

"Fine..then…then- then we won't eat in the open area this morning." He says.

"Peeta, don't be silly."

"I'm serious Katniss." He puts on a serious face and even points his finger at me.

I look at him flabbergasted and say nothing.

"Okay Peeta, I'll go and see your sunset with you." I say and then I lower my voice and say through gritted teeth, "But if we get caught and Effie starts lecturing you're taking all blame." I poke at his chest too.

"I will." He says excitedly, hugs me and picks me up off the floor. "I love you Katniss! I love you so much!"

I laugh hysterically at his childish behaviour.

"Can we just wait for our breakfast to come?" I say and he sets me down.

"What do you think the ocean's going to look like?" I ask and pop another piece of pancake in Peeta's mouth.

"I heard it was blue." He mumbles.

"It's going to be so blue just like your eyes and the color of the sand will be just like the color of your hair." I say.

"I bet it's not going to be as gorgeous as you Katniss."

For some reason, I blush. This is the first time in ages since I've blushed. I roll my eyes at Peeta thought and feed him some more pancakes.

"Well after 4 we only have four stops to go until we reach home. Are you excited?" He asks.

"I'm looking forward to it." I reply.

"I've really enjoyed this time with you Katniss."

I give Peeta a small smile; I'm not going to disagree with him. I've liked spending time with Peeta. It's really going to be different then when we get home.

"Me too." I say avoiding his gaze.

"You should take Gale to watch the sunset sometimes." I snap my head up at Peeta to see if he's serious. He's forcing a smile, I can tell.

'I- I- I wouldn't be able to do that. We're watched by the Capitol, another stupid move and we're in trouble all over again." I say.

"I guess you're right, but if you have the time. You should."

I feel hurt. I'm hurt because Peeta thinks everything that we do together is just for the cameras, for the Capitol and it hurts even more that he might think that I'm only pretending to enjoy our time together for more gossip. The gossip part is partly true. I like spending time with Peeta, I love it when he takes me somewhere.

"The muffins are good." He says.

"They're all good," I comment.

Peeta gives me a hesitant look, "Sometimes I wonder what life would be like without you. I mean, what would I be doing right now right?" He says quietly.

"Living a good life," I answer, "You would be at your bakery, baking."

"My life wouldn't be complete without you though." He drones.

I sigh and just shove the whole pancake in his mouth. He starts laughing with his mouth full and I join him afterwards.

Peeta and I finish eating breakfast and were on our way back to put our dishes away, we walk down the hallways and we collide with Effie.

"Oh! Peeta! Katniss! What are you two doing up so early?" Effie asks excitedly.

"We just had breakfast." I say.

"Oh! Where?"

"Somewhere down the train." Peeta states.

"Why did you two suddenly wake up so early? It's an unusual behaviour."

"Aren't you happy with our improving Effie?" Peeta asks bewilderingly.

"Well…I am. What time did you wake up?"

"Roughly around 6 a.m."

"Well then…get ready for the day. Our stop is District 4, the birth place of Mr. Finnick O'Dair." She squeals happily then continues down the hallway.

"Yes, or course. Finnick O'Dair." Peeta says sounding bored.

"I wonder if he's going to be as handsome as they say he is." I say just to try and get a reaction from Peeta.

"Do you think he's good-looking?"

"I think he's going to be very handsome." I say.

"You've got to be kidding me. You too? Katniss Everdeen thinks that someone is good-looking?" He slaps he's forehead while he says so. An attendant walks past and we give her our trays.

"That's what the ladies say," I say with a shrug.

"Are you actually attracted to him?"

"Well, it depends if we get to meet him or not."

"What do you mean it depends?" Peeta asks incredulously.

"I don't know," I say with a playful smile.

"What do you mean you don't know?"

I stop walking, "Peeta, are you getting jealous?" I ask exaggeratingly.

"Wh- what? No. No. No. N-no I am not getting jealous."

"You're jealous aren't you?" I give him a nudge, "You don't want me to think that Finnick O'Dair's handsome."

"What? No! I think you should have a point of view on who you think is handsome. And I am not jealous!"

"Yes you are, it's obvious."

"No! I am not! Because I have never been jealous of a girl thinking that someone else is handsome! I can't be jealous! It's a stupid thing to get jealous about! It's impossible! I am not jealous! This is probably the only time I've ever been jealous over something like that!" He says it quickly and I don't think he realised what he said in his last sentence.

"So you are jealous?" I say curiously.

"No Katniss, I'm not." He mutters.

"So, tonight…if we happen to bump into Finnick O'Dair, you wouldn't mind?"

He pauses, "N-no, I- I wouldn't."

"Okay, I'll ask if I can get a kiss. Then we'll dance and everything."

"Katniss…you, of all people. Want a kiss?" He asks me almost seriously.

"Sure, what's the harm?"

He shrugs, "Maybe you shouldn't you know…seeing as…ummm…"

"What's wrong? Cat got your tongue?"

"Uh, seeing as we're being watch by the Capitol…and…Gale wouldn't like it too." He says stumbling with his words.

I stop smiling. Why does Peeta think about Gale all the time?

"And…I'm actually going to admit it. I am jealous." He says somewhat proud.

I give him a small smile because I'm still confused.

"Why did you bring Gale up? What if someone heard us?" I say quietly but sharply.

"Because…one; it's the truth and two; I used him to stop you." He says.

"Peeta…I was only playing with you. I wouldn't really like to kiss Finnick O'Dair. I would rather kiss you." I say.

"You would? But what about Gale?"

"Stop mentioning him!" I get angry because that's all he worries about.

"What's wrong with him? After we finish the tour, none of this will mean anything to you anyway!" His voice gets louder and I slap him hard across the face.

He keeps his gaze away from me after I've hurt him. I don't know why I reacted like that but I don't regret it. I take a deep breath in, push him roughly out of the way and go back to my room; slamming the door when I close it.

Why would Peeta think that?

_"What's wrong with him? After we finish the tour, none of this will mean anything to you anyway!"_

How can none of this mean anything to me? Is that what he thinks, after all this time? Doesn't he know that I'll have to marry him sooner or later? If he doesn't then what does he know?

I'm frustrated at Peeta for saying that! How could he? I thought we were friends and then he'd say that as if all of the things we've been doing meant nothing to me!

What if they mean nothing to him?

I lie down in my bed and get under the covers. I grab the pillow that Peeta uses and hug it. I smell the cinnamon scent that Peeta left behind and straight away I put it back to where I got it from. I really don't want anything to do with Peeta right now.

I stay in my room until Effie calls to get changed. I don't even go out and eat lunch. I listen quietly to my prep team's conversations and I think they can tell that I'm in a bad mood.

When I get out of the train and standing on the earthy station I join the others. We stand there waiting for everyone else to come and I hear Effie having a heart attack while she gets out of the train. We turn around to see what's going on.

"Oh no Peeta, we must at least pit some make up on your bruise!" Effie says loudly and she keeps fidgeting with Peeta's cheek while he tries to respectfully swat her hand away. I roll my eyes and turn my head back.

"We should get those hooks out of your bathroom then, you might get hurt again." Effie says.

"No, it's okay Effie. It's just a bruise."

"But you might've been hit quite hard if it bruised you that big!" Effie shrieks.

Even if I hurt Peeta physically he doesn't blame me. I start to feel sympathy for him and feel the need to apologize. But I don't do it, I just stand there as if I can't hear Effie's booming voice.

"It's not that big Effie, it's not small either. Let's say…medium." Haymitch says.

"Honestly Haymitch, what if he was your son?"

"Peeta is like…17 years old. He doesn't need to be taken care of just because he has a bruise on his face." I hear Haymitch spit back at Effie.

"Seriously Haymitch…Katniss! Come here and aid Peeta!"

I hesitate before I turn around and walk to Peeta and Effie, "Did you know about this?" Effie asks me when I reach them.

Before I can say anything Peeta stands up to my defence, "No she didn't, she wouldn't have. You're probably the only one who noticed."

"Me, I'm the only one who noticed." Effie remarks then she looks at me, "Katniss sweetie, it should be your responsibility to take care of Peeta. Especially if he's hurt, you are the only one that I know that actually cares if Peeta gets hurt. I met his mother and she is a well…a scary woman. Please take care of Peeta here and don't be a useless girlfriend. Peeta's been looking for you all afternoon and you worried not just him but all of us. Cinna finally guessed that you were in your bedroom and we decided to leave you alone. Here, take a look at his cheek for me while I call our cab." Effie walks away and joins everyone else. What Effie said makes an impact on me.

Who actually cares if Peeta gets hurt? Is it just me?

In a way, Effie is right. Peeta doesn't even live with his parents; he just gave them as much money as he can. He barely sees his brothers, they're always working. And his mother…I don't think she would care that much if he died. She'll mourn but she'll forget eventually.

I guess it's only me, the only one who will actually be there when Peeta needs someone the most. But I can't guarantee I'll be there all the time. I mean, I've just hurt Peeta.

"Hi." Peeta says softly.

I don't say anything; I'm still confused about how I feel.

"Katniss…I'm sorry, I'm really really really sorry." He says quietly.

I ignore him and just stand there looking at him and looking at his cheek. It is bruised, like what Haymitch said; it's not too big and it's not too small either, it's medium. I might've slapped him too hard if it made a bruise like that.

"Katniss…" I turn away from him because I don't know what to say.

Peeta slowly takes hold of my hand and at first I flinch. I look at him and he looks at me apologetically. He intertwines our fingers together and I hold on his limply. We get in the car and on our way out to the Justice Building we go past the ocean and I look at it. In some way I was right, the sand is blonde like Peeta's hair and the ocean is blue. The water has a mixture of dark blue and green, but I could still see it is as blue.

I feel Peeta move his head to the window to look at the ocean which makes him get closer to me.

"Wow…" He says quietly, "It's beautiful."

I can't disagree with him and I won't.

"Katniss…I'm sorry, please forgive me. I didn't mean it. I just thought that it wouldn't mean anything to you you know because- because I tell myself 20 billion times a day that no matter how hard I try nothing is going to change your mind about Gale. But I can't help myself; I just want to spend those times with you. I never meant to hurt you in any way. Katniss I'm sorry." Peeta whispers quietly in my ear.

_"I tell myself 20 billion times a day that no matter how hard I try nothing is going to change your mind about Gale."_

I feel a dull ache in my stomach and I feel really bad. Everytime Peeta begs for my forgiveness I really think about what I've done. I shouldn't have slapped Peeta he didn't deserve it and Peeta is really confused right now about how I feel about him. All he knows is that we're friends and that's the only thing that I know too. I guess I just over reacted when he said that all of this meant nothing to me, that when we get home I'm going to act as if we didn't do anything.

I should be the one apologizing, I should be the one blaming myself for everything and I should be the one that got slapped on the face.

Peeta shouldn't blame himself for anything but he does, all the time.

I turn to look at Peeta and he's so close I can feel his breath. I look at him regretfully and sigh. Peeta puts his forehead on mine and apologizes softly one more time.

"No Peeta…I'm sorry. I shouldn't have, I just reacted." I say just as quietly.

"Katniss no, I should've never said it. Katniss please forgive me, please."

"I'm not asking for your forgiveness. I just want you to stop imputing yourself." He starts caressing my cheek and smiles.

"You know I'm never forgiving myself for this." He says.

"Forgive yourself for what sweetie." Effie says from the front seat. This breaks us apart, "Nothing Effie, I was talking to Katniss." Peeta answers and settles back in his seat.

After a few seconds I hear the familiar sound of Haymitch's snoring. I move to look at Haymitch peacefully sleeping.

"I cannot believe Haymitch wouldn't take his time to look at that beautiful ocean but just doze off instead!" Effie says clearly shocked, "Honestly, this man."

We reach District 4's Justice Building and then we do our usual routine.

The first we do at dinner was dance because everyone was doing it and we were both being invited. The music wasn't slow and it wasn't fast either. It was just something we could move around to.

"It's nearly 6 p.m after this dance we could go and see the sunset." Peeta says.

"What, really? Are you sure, how are we going to get out?"

"I don't know." He chuckles and twirls me around.

He pulls me closer to him and continues twirling me and he eventually controls our whole dancing and I just try to copy him and follow his moves. After we dance Peeta and I linger close to the exit so that when we think no one is looking we make a run for it.

While I stand there looking around the room and I feel him grab onto my arm and drag me cautiously out the room.

"Come on Katniss! We might miss it!" He says eagerly but it's hard to run in this heels.

"Peeta, my heels." I complain.

He stops running and turns to me, "Okay…um…get on my back." He turns back around and bends down a little.

"What?" I ask him just to be sure.

"Come on."

I guess I could, my dress isn't tight and Peeta is just so eager. I jump on his back and he starts running out of the building. I hold tightly onto him and look at how excited he is at seeing the sunset out in the ocean for the first time.

"Peeta I'm sorry again for slapping you in the face." I say loud enough for it to echo in the halls.

He chuckles, "Katniss, I'm going to say this again. You have absolutely nothing to worry about. Nothing."

I don't get it. How Peeta can never blame other people but himself. It makes me feel so bad, I just want to do everything for him. I smile happily at him and kiss his cheek.

"Ha! We're nearly there Katniss. We're nearly there!"

"Faster Peeta!"

Eventually we reach the entrance of the building and Peeta stops running.

"Where do we go from here?" He asks me. We look around; most of District 4's people are eating happily inside the building. I can just hear the waves and they're nearby.

"I think I know where." I point to the direction I think the waves are coming from and Peeta follows my finger.

It's actually close by, Peeta and I reach the sand in a matter of minutes. I jump off Peeta's back and take my heels off.

"Race you to the water?" I say to Peeta.

"Are you kidding me?" He says.

I shove him back and make a run for it.

"That is unfair!" He yells.

I hold onto my dress while I run and constantly look behind me to see Peeta running as fast as he can. I reach the waters first and feel the cold icy water on my feet. As soon as I turn around Peeta has already reached me, he picks me up on his shoulders and he runs around the waters. As can see the sun in front of us and it's about to set, I can see the skies turning orange.

"Peeta! Put me down! Look, the sun's setting!"

He stops with his back to the horizon. "Where is it?" He asks jokingly.

"It's right in front of me Peeta and it's behind you."

He turns to his side but no to the horizon.

"I can't see it Katniss." He says, as if he's showing a five year-old a magic trick and asking him where he hid the coin.

"Put me down Peeta then I'll show you."

He does put me down and I sit on the sand, I pat on the space next to me and Peeta sits too. He takes his shoes off and his socks then folds his pants so a quarter of the way up. I move closer to him and lay my head on his shoulder.

I look out to the horizon and the sun's setting. The horizon turns orange and the color of the sun mixing with it as well. What I'm most stunned about is how the sun reflects on the water.

It's beautiful.

"Thanks for taking me out here Peeta."

"You're welcome love."

He puts his arm around me and we watch the sunset. We get a little wakeup call when a big wave hits the both of us. I get a drop on my mouth and taste the salty water.

"Let's go in the water Katniss." He suggests.

"Let's go." I stand up and run to the water before him.

I make him chase after me and we start splashing water at each other.

"I never knew the water would be this salty!" Peeta yells.

"Me too!" I yell back.

"Do you think the peacekeepers will get angry?" I ask him.

"I doubt it. I heard people could do this anytime."

He distracts me when he points to the horizon to look at 'something' and the next think I know he's caught me by the waist.

"Gotcha!" He says.

I smile and put my arms around his neck. "I let you win," I say casually.

"You did not! You got distracted." He says,

"Well…" I shrug.

"What do you mean 'well'?"

"I don't know" I say and chuckle.

"Come here," He says and he's lips are instantly on mine. At first I don't react then I close my eyes and kiss him back. He pulls me as close as I can get and I kiss him passionately. I feel myself smiling. I have to admit, I miss Peeta's kisses. His real ones.

He breaks our kiss and puts his forehead on mine, "I wouldn't trade this day for anything you know that?"

"I wouldn't too. There's nowhere else I'd rather be then here with you." I answer.

He smiles wider, "That rhymed."

"Obviously…" I say and kiss him again. Then I feel it, that curious feeling I got on the cave last year. The one that made me want more. And it does make me want more.

Peeta and I stop kissing again after what feels like hours and turn our head to look at the sun. I got to admit, the water is cold but I don't mind it. I just like being here with Peeta and that's all that matters.

"It's more beautiful than I imagined." He says breathlessly, "And I got to spend it with you."

I smile and kiss his cheek, right on his bruise, while he still stares at the sun. Peeta and I continue soaking each other with cold splashes of water.

Eventually, Peeta and I get out of the water and go to the sand. It's starting to get dark but I don't want to leave.

"I am going to write something in the sand." Peeta says.

"What are you going to write?"

"I don't know, maybe…Peeta and Katniss was here."

I smile at him and nod. He grabs a stick lying around and starts writing his name in the sand, then the word 'and', he starts on my name and writes the rest.

"I'm going to put a heart around it love." He says.

"Let me help you with that." I grab another stick. Peeta and I start drawing a love heart around it, he does one half and I do the other around what Peeta wrote down.

Peeta and I look at each other, proud of what we have just drawn and Peeta takes my hand and twirls me around.

"Effie is going to kill us." Peeta remarks.

I shrug, "You're taking the blame remember?"

"Yes, I do. Anything for you."

"Now that rhymed." I say and he laughs.

Peeta and I sit back down on the sand wrapped around each other. With me leaning on his chest and his arms wrapped around me. We sit there, just like that, neither one talking. Enjoying the silence. When stars start to appear in the sky Peeta and I hear our names being called.

We both stand up immediately and in no time Effie stands there with peacemakers and a bunch of other people from the dinner.

"What are you two doing out here!" Effie says angrily.

Here we go, I give Peeta a nudge on the rib.

"We were…um…out on a date." Peeta says trying to sound calm and cool. I find myself smiling but hopefully Effie doesn't catch that.

"Hey! Come on! Give them a break!" A drunk Haymitch says in the crowd.

"We have been looking all over for them Haymitch! And you want me to give them a break?" She shrieks at him.

"Young love sweetheart." Haymitch says quieter and calmer.

Effie looks back at the crowd, "I deeply apologise for taking over your time looking for these two, but we have found them and I think we should go back to the train a bit early today." Effie shoos the people away in her nicest way possible. Only Haymitch, Effie and out prep teams are left. Cinna supports Haymitch because he is on the point of drunk where he cannot stand nor walk. After the crowd has gone start walking away Effie turns around and starts her lecture on us.

"I have had it absolutely up to here with you two!" Effie booms.

"I have already mentioned this with President Snow and he doesn't seem very happy that you try to sneak out and ignore the guest. Absolutely unacceptable. What do you have to say for yourselves?"

Peeta and I share a knowing look. Snow is hearing about this. I guess that's good, in a way.

"All I have to say Effie, is that I apologize. I'm sorry, but Effie…please…we can't help ourselves." Peeta starts saying.

"Yeah!" Portia and Octavia agree.

"They're only teenagers, let them go." Haymitch starts.

"I don't have time for this…" Effie turns around and starts walking away but she is having trouble walking in those heels on the sand.

Peeta and I smile at each other and follow them back to our car. Effie ignores us when we get in the train and goes straight to bed. Peeta and I ignore everyone else too and we separate to our own beds to take a shower. Peeta knocks on my door just as I was finished drying my hair. I open the door and he stands outside my door with nothing but his boxers on again. I open the door wider and he goes in.

"I'm not sleepy yet," He says as soon as he sees the comfy bed.

"Well, what do you want to do?" I ask him.

"I don't know, let's play a game."

"What game?"

"We could play hide and seek."

I look at him seriously, "Hide…and…seek?" I say slowly.

"Yeah," He answers.

"Okay, you're counting." I say.

"If I found you in less than a minute, I get to kiss you okay?" He asks playfully.

"If that's what you want." I say.

"You'll allow it?"

"I'll allow it, now go count in the hallways while I hide. Count to ten." I say and wave him off.

I can't believe I'm playing hide and seek. I have never played it, but I'm familiar with the method.

I don't hear Peeta counting but for the first round I decide to hide under the bed. Luckily I can fit in there. I wait for Peeta to finish counting and wee the door opening. I see his feet walking around the room.

"Katniss? Where are you?" He says playfully. He makes his way to the bathroom and later come out somewhat disappointed. Peeta stops and stands in the middle of the room. I see his feet shuffling and then bends down and he knees touches the floor, next his head is visible and he's spotted me.

"Aha!" Peeta says and points at me.

I grunt and steadily get out from under the bed, I sit up and Peeta moves in to give me his kiss. It last for a few seconds then he tells me to get out of the room so that he can hide this time. I count to ten in my head and go inside the room.

It looks like there's no one in here. I can't even feel Peeta's presence. I start walking to the bed and suddenly I feel someone's hands on my shoulder, I jump and turn around to see Peeta behind me. I smack his arm and try to catch my breath.

He starts laughing and even grabs his stomach seeing as he can't breathe. I just stand there giving him an angry look because I really got scared.

"Where were you hiding!" I say to him.

"I was…just…hiding behind the…big green plant…" He says in between laughs. I look at where he was hiding, it's close to the corner, there is a plant there and it sure is long. It hid Peeta's body quite well.

"Okay, you win again…" I say, I am a bit disappointed though.

"Okay I get a kiss."

I make the first move again and wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him. I guess Peeta and I are back to being friends who kiss. I don't care anyway; I kiss Peeta all the time. It's not like it makes any difference. But the kiss earlier on the beach was different. That one felt different because they make me curious and want more of Peeta. I don't understand that feeling but I let it slide and continue moving my lips against Peeta's.

Peeta and I play 3 more round of hide and seek until we crash on the bed. Peeta falls asleep first and I watch him sleep peacefully. I quietly thank him for showing me the sunset on the ocean a while ago. I know that I will probably treasure that memory forever.

* * *

_A little bad news guys, on Saturday and maybe 4 days after that I will not be able to upload because I'm going on a road trip. _

_Gosh! Please forgive me, I will still continue to write the chapters (if I can) but I won't be able to upload them. So sorry, just keep this story saved and check for updates 4 days after Saturday or so. I am extremely sorry guys. _

_Please review and again, sorry._

RestelessIdeas


	9. I Lost You

_Sorry for making you wait guys. Thanks for being patient, here is chapter nine of the story and enjoy it._

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN THE HUNGER GAMES**

* * *

**CHAPTER NINE: I LOST YOU**

"He doesn't care about you." Snow's snake like voice, "I have him now and there's no way you're getting him back."

"No!" I scream at him.

"Watch..."Snake's voice echo around the room.

It turns dark and I can't see a thing. I panic and run around, desperately looking for Peeta. I stop when I see him in strapped up in a chair; unconscious. I run to him but I'm not reaching him. I see Snow slowly walk to Peeta from behind.

"No! Get away from him!" I try to scream but nothing's coming out.

Snow smiles and takes a knife from his pocket. He lets the tip of the blade touch Peeta's neck.

"Please! Don't! No!" I try to scream again but I can't hear it come out."

Snow smiles and in a fast motion he cuts open Peeta neck.

"Peeta!" I wake up screaming his name at the top of my lungs.

"Katniss!" Peeta's arms find their way around me and I jump. I turn and see Peeta sitting up with me in the darkness.

"Peeta!" I put my arms around him tightly and burrow my head into his neck.

"It was just a dream. It wasn't real." He assures me but I whimper and hold him closer.

That dream scared me to death. I couldn't reach him, I couldn't save him. I was useless, just like what Effie said; _"Please don't be a useless girlfriend Katniss."_

I soften my grip on Peeta and move back to look at him, I can make out his smile in the darkness. He caresses my cheek and I start to whimper.

"I couldn't get to you Peeta. I lost you. I lost you..." I say this to him like a small child.

Peeta encircles me one more time and I let him hold close, rocking me at the same time.

"Peeta...I'm scared."

"It's okay Katniss. Everything's okay. Everything is going to be fine." He whispers. to me and kisses my forehead.

"Let's try to get some more sleep." He says but I shake my head.

"I can't, I'm scared." I snivel.

He rubs my back and kisses my neck. It sends tingles down my back; the way his lips touched my neck and I don't want to let go.

"Let's go somewhere then." He says quietly but I don't let go, instead, I keep my head on his chest. Listening to his heartbeat, he's alive. Peeta's alive, his heart is beating and he's holding me. There's nothing to worry about.

Peeta places one of his arms under my knees and keeps his other one on my back. He starts to get off the bed and he carries me. He stands up and I keep my arms around his neck. He starts walking and opens the door. The hallway lights aren't too bright; they probably set it to be dimmer.

Peeta walks around the hallways while he carries me steadily. I close my eyes and try to calm down. I've never had a nightmare before that takes an effect on me like this. It makes my chest ache and makes me get dizzy.

"Where are we going?" I ask him.

"To our little sunrise place." He says softly.

When we reach our little destination, there are no lights; except the moonlight from the big window gives it a little light. Peeta puts me down where the wall is instead of the middle of the room. He sits next to me and I move to sit on his lap. I look at the moon out the window, it's a full moon and it is really bright.

"Do you think anyone has ever been in the Moon?" I ask Peeta.

"Maybe, I heard someone has but I don't really listen." Peeta says confusingly.

We both stare at it.

"Wait here." He says and hoists me off his lap. Before I can tell him to stay he walks away really fast. I stare out at the window and wait for Peeta. It feels weird to have a dream about Peeta like that; I've never had one where he was killed off by Snow. I thought about losing Peeta before and it scares me. But it scares me even more now.

I don't want to lose Peeta. I don't want to him to leave me too. Peeta is my friend and I care deeply about him. He's like a family to me and I might be able to love him as one, the same love I share for Prim.

Peeta comes back with blankets and pillows from my bed. He places the pillow down and Peeta puts the blanket around me. When he sits down I put the blanket around him too. I lay my head on his shoulder and we sit like that in silence.

"If you feel sleepy Katniss, just fall asleep and I'll carry you back to the bed." Peeta says.

"No I'm fine; I like the freshness out here." I reply.

"Well if you do I'll carry you anyway."

We look at the moon and continue sitting in silence. I remember when my father would sing to Prim and I, I would always look out at the window; looking at the starts and the moon. When he has time to sing for us, it's mostly when it's a full moon and it's not that often. I always think that the time he sang with the full moon were special. Like how some of Peeta's kisses are special…

I lift my head to look at Peeta.

What would my dad say about Peeta? About all that has happened?

If he was alive, would this be happening? If my dad was alive would that have prevented my sister from getting reaped in the games and I didn't have to volunteer?

Probably not. The games and the reaping has nothing to do with my dad.

I don't think my dad has ever met Peeta or Gale. He might have seen them around but I don't think he has actually gotten the time to know them.

"Peeta?" I mumble.

"Yeah?"

"Have you ever met my dad? Have you ever spoken to you?" I ask him.

"I have met your dad. He traded game with us. He says "Hello Peeta," to me everytime he comes by. He was nice, asking me about school and everything, chatting with my dad and he would ruffle my hair before he left." He answers, I never knew that. My dad never really talks about them, he just says who he trades with and he does mention the bakery but he doesn't say who.

"Really?" I ask him quietly.

"Yeah and he even talks about you Katniss. He tells how he has a daughter that was my age and he asks me if I ever see you at school. Sometimes we would talk at the door for minutes until my mother would tell him to go away and my dad apologizing for that everytime he comes by."

He chuckles, "I remember how I asked him what it was like to work as a miner and he says that they have a bird that sings for them every day. To warn them if something as ugly as a witch is coming."

I look at Peeta with wonder, my dad knew Peeta. He would talk to him; he would even talk about me. Peeta had a close relationship with my father; I can't help but wonder how my father would feel about Peeta and I.

"Your father didn't deserve to die Katniss. He was a good man, it was weird when I would open the door in the afternoon and he's not there. Smiling at me and telling me more about you." He sniffs and I can feel myself tearing up.

"I bet you he's proud of you, watches over you, Prim and your mother. He might be happy that Gale has you back that he's there to protect you from anything."

"Peeta, shh…" I tell him and move even closer.

Gale does have my back but that's how far he gets with protecting me. Gale doesn't sleep beside me and cast those nightmares away like Peeta. Gale doesn't hold me close while I sleep; only Peeta does that. Peeta protects me at night that way my father would.

I don't know if I can ever get that kind of protection from Gale. I might be able to; but it wouldn't be the same if it wasn't Peeta.

Peeta takes a deep breath and he looks at me. Giving me a small smile, I stare back at him and return his smile.

"Katniss, go to sleep." He whispers.

"I can't…"

"You have to try,"

"Lie down with me then." I beg him.

"Okay, just try to get some sleep okay."

I smile, "Yes sir."

I position myself on the carpet floor and Peeta does the same. We lie down facing each other. Peeta would be like a son my dad would wish he had. He might not know how to hunt but he has a beautiful heart and that's what's important. I scoot closer to Peeta because it's a little cold.

It's weird not having Peeta's arms around me straight away; he usually has it around me as soon as we lie down. I watch him fix his pillow and shuffle around.

I don't want to go to sleep, I'm not scared, and I don't feel tired anymore. So I just lie there until Peeta has fixed his pillow and is staring back at me.

He smiles, "I can't believe that I would watch you go home from school every day and now, I'm lying down with you on the floor."

I frown, "Who would've thought…" I say quietly.

"You could've fallen for so many other girl you know Peeta."

"I don't care, I'm lucky I fell for someone like you."

"You always say that, can't you say something else?" I tell him.

"I couldn't Katniss," He mumbles.

"Can you sing Peeta?"

He laughs, "Oh God no!"

"My dad would always sing to me and Prim when it's full moon. Well, those are the ones special to me anyway."

He chuckles and then puts his arms around me. I lean in and give him a kiss. He seems shocked at first then kisses back. I don't think I'm ever going to get used to not kissing Peeta.

"What was that for?" Peeta asks after I break our kiss.

"I just wanted to give you a kiss I guess." I answer.

"Get some sleep Katniss, we're going to District 3 tomorrow. We're nearly home, we're nearly there."

He kisses my forehead and I close my eyes while he does.

"What if I have another nightmare?" I ask thoughtlessly.

"I'll be right here…you have nothing to worry about. I won't leave you."

"Peeta, I'm cold."

He holds me even closer and make myself comfortable.

I'm right when I say that no one else can hold me the way Peeta does.

* * *

I wake up and I'm in bed, with Peeta snoring quietly behind me. I cautiously turn over so that I don't distract him. I stare at Peeta sleeping peacefully.

Does everyone look younger when they're asleep?

I slowly start pulling his hair back and watch him sleep. He furrows his eyebrows at my touch and a smile forms on my lips.

"Katniss?" He mumbles.

I move my hand and play with his ear. His head jumps a little and his eyes open slightly. I move closer and start tracing his jaw.

"What's wrong Katniss?"

"Nothing…" I chuckle and start tickling his neck. He actually starts giggling and I stop. He shuts his eyes again and I go back to moving my hand around his hair. It's nice and soft. I like the feeling.

Peeta catches my hand and kisses the back of it. I remember him doing this to me back in the cave.

"Where did you learn this Peeta?" I never really found out where he got it from.

"I don't know, I never did." He mumbles quietly.

He opens his eyes then it closes again when he yawns. He pulls me closer until my nose is touching his and closes his eyes again. I move my head back and continue playing with his hair; tucking some behind his ear. Peeta silently falls back asleep and after staring and watching him breath in and out I make my way to breakfast.

I sit next to Haymitch while we eat and suddenly talks to me right after everyone else leaves the table.

"So, what are you going to do sweetheart?"

"What do I have to do?" I ask him.

"What you have to do." He sips from his flask and I look at him annoyed.

"Are you serious?" I say in angrily, "You want to play games with me then fine."

"I'm joking sweetheart, like I said before…you're going to have to marry him."

I rub eyes a little bit and try to think.

_What am I going to do?_

"I'm going to say this now; you have to do much better than just holding hands and kissing all the time. Now that whole sunset idea you two came up with was okay but we need something better. You made it pretty obvious that you were up to something. Peeta was even happy that people are talking about it all over District 4."

I don't get it. I thought the sunset was only for me and Peeta. Not for show, I hold on tightly on my spoon in anger.

Peeta wakes up after I've finished breakfast and he eats on the table by himself. I tell Peeta I need some time along because I need to think and he goes to paint.

Marry him. Should I marry him? I was thinking accepting the fact that he's going to be my husband sooner or later but I'm unsure now. I just don't want anyone to get hurt.

I don't know what to do.

"When we get inside that building no more funny business! No sneaking out! I have had enough of it! Do you understand?" Effie sound incredibly serious while we talk about this on the way to the town square.

"Do you understand?" She yells angrier.

"Yes Effie." Peeta and I say in unison.

I spend the whole dinner thinking about whether or not I should marry Peeta and what good it would do if I did. I don't know if I'm going to like or not. If I'm going to be happy.

I'm really confused.

"Katniss, you're really tense. Do you want to drink some water or something?" Peeta asks me while I try to eat my food.

I shake my head, "Can you finish it for me please?" I hand Peeta my plate.

"Sure." He says. I watch him eat and I try to stop worrying too much. The closer we get home the more nervous I get.

What if I come home and find that my mother and Prim isn't there?

What if we don't succeed and Gale's family can end up dead? So will Peeta's.

Rory. Vick. Haysel. Gale. And Posy, little dear Posy. Would Snow even think of hurting such a small child? Snow is okay about seeing children kill themselves on live television and not finding any of it repulsive and sick. I guess it wouldn't hurt him to hurt someone younger.

I shake my head to clear my thoughts. I wouldn't be able to live with the guilt if something ever happened to them. My hands start shaking and soon enough Peeta covers it with his.

"Katniss?" He mutters worriedly.

"I'm fine…Peeta really….I'm fine." I say trying to sound as calm as I can.

He scoots closer to me and takes his jacket off. He puts it over me and holds my hand.

"You're not okay. Katniss you can tell me what's wrong. I would never hurt you." He says.

I look at him, "No, of course you won't."

"What's wrong?"

"I'm just thinking, I'll tell you when we get in the train okay?" I give him a quick kiss and he hesitates before saying an okay.

I make a stand and grab a drink. Peeta follows me around trying to strike up a conversation.

"Aren't you going to have dessert?" He asks me.

"No." I say casually.

"Well…this is the first time you haven't had dessert." He says trying to shock.

I giggle at his poor attempt and pour another cup of water.

Just then, the mayor of District 3 starts talking through the mic.

"Good evening everyone." He says.

"Good evening!" Everyone else echoes.

"Hopefully you are all enjoying your time tonight. We are here to celebrate the victory of Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark tonight. So, we prepared a special number for the both of them to dance to tonight."

I choke on what I'm drinking and suddenly I'm coughing so loud people are looking at me. Peeta starts rubbing my back and he holds me so that I can keep upright. We even catch the mayor's attention and I hear that he has stop talking.

My coughing has calmed down a bit and I look around the room apologetically and I see Effie's face mixed with worry and frustration. I look at Peeta in front of me and he secures the jacket around me.

"Uh…ladies and gentlemen; Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark!"

The music starts playing and Peeta takes my hand. I stand and there and I don't even move. I really don't want to do this. I don't like being the center of attention with everyone watching and looking at me with their familiar look. Peeta tugs on my hand one more time and gives me an encouraging smile. I smile back and follow him to the middle of the dance floor. I hear a lot of girls squeal while we make our way.

Everyone makes way and watch us with their encouraging smiles that make me feel really awkward.

Peeta's arms automatically go around my waist and my arms go around his neck. Peeta starts moving his feet around and I follow. I try to relax so that I don't try to make people confused about why I look so stiff. Peeta smiles at me looking quite worried, I force my smile and look as happy as I can.

Peeta looks happy and he holds me tighter, people start joining us and it's almost a sigh of relief. I feel more comfortable with people dancing around and I start to enjoy myself. I move closer to Peeta and look down every now and then to make sure I don't step on his foot with these heels, but because he had artificial legs he actually step on mine and I wince.

"I'm sorry!"

"It's okay," I say with a smile. It doesn't really hurt and he didn't do it on purpose. I yawn because I feel really tired and I even blink a few times to keep my eyes from dropping. I yawn again and I drop my head on Peeta's shoulder. I close my eyes and I feel myself relaxing. I breathe in the perfume they put on Peeta and it smells really nice but I would have preferred the cinnamon.

Peeta yawns as well and we spend the last hour of the night dancing and when it was time to leave the building we say goodbye as fast as we can and we thank the people giving us compliment with my dancing, my dress and how I look. I didn't really care about what they had to say but I acknowledge it anyways.

Peeta takes a shower in my room while I change. For the first since dinner I think about what I'm going to do about this.

What if we fail?

I wouldn't know what to do if we do fail. All Snow hopes to do is stop an uprising and he's using us to do that because I triggered it when I put out those berries. Those stupid berries.

If I could've just left Peeta to die then none of this would be-

I stop what I'm thinking and quickly regret it. I don't want for Peeta to die. Before I would think about how different my circumstances were if I lived and he died. But now, I don't want him to leave me. I start feeling guilty for thinking that he should've just died in the arena.

If he did he would be in heaven, safe and sound. He wouldn't have to suffer anymore; he wouldn't be beaten by his mother anymore. He would be flying with the angels and I would have never known the he ever loved me. If he died he would just be a stranger to me. He would just be someone I fought with in the Hunger Games and I would be clueless to the fact that he loves my singing, that his favorite color is orange, that my dad would ruffle his hair before he leaves their bakery and I would never know what it would be like to kiss his soft lips, to smell the cinnamon scent he carries, I would have never felt the way he holds me tight at night and I would never have known that he loves me so much it hurts him.

Marrying him wouldn't be fair on my part; he's _in _love with me and I'm not in love with him. It wouldn't be fair to Peeta. Not at all, but it has to happen. I have to hurt him to protect all of us. It's the only way really; hurt Peeta and the safer you think you get.

I stand and walk around the room. I can't calm down, the closer we get home the more scared I get. After walking pacing the room I stop a meter away from the bathroom door. The door opens and Peeta stands there with a tight shirt and boxers. He smiles and I have never been happy to see someone in my whole life. I race to him and give him a hug. I hug him tighter than ever hoping that my guilt would lessen.

"Peeta? Are you okay?" I ask.

He chuckles, "Of course. Are _you_ okay? Katniss what's wrong?"

"You took a long time in the shower. I just missed you." I mumble.

"I was gone for 5 minutes. Boys don't take too long in the shower you know."

"I know."

I slowly let go of him and he looks at me like I'm crazy.

"What did you do with Katniss Everdeen?" He asks with wonder.

I roll my eyes and go inside the bathroom to get ready for bed as well. Peeta doesn't know what he's doing so he follows me in.

"Why don't you just go and lie in bed Peeta." I tell him.

He shrugs and then he picks me up by the waist and hoists on the counter next to the sink. I just sit there and watch him watch me. I start laughing and he moves to stand right in front of me. I smile at him and I mess around with his wet hair. I make his hair spiky, flatten it and I just mess around with it. I just sit on the counter and he lets me play with his hair. I stop laughing and I frown.

If I hurt Peeta one more time I'll probably kill myself.

"We're nearly home Peeta." I say sadly, "We have to work harder on the last days Peeta. We can't fail this; I won't be able to live with myself if something ever happens to Prim." I say quietly.

His smile drops slightly and he caresses my cheek to bring my head up. "We're going to be fine. Everything's going to be fine. Nothing is going to happen to your mother or Prim. I promise you that nothing will hurt them. Nothing."

"What if it isn't enough Peeta-"

"Shhh, it will be enough. We'll do anything. Anything to convince them."

"Anything Peeta?"

"Anything Katniss. We'll do anything." He kisses me and I feel my shoulders drop and relax a little. I kiss Peeta back and tangle my hands in his hair.

_We're going to be fine. _I tell myself this and keep my lips on Peeta. When we break our kiss Peeta offers to brush my hair. He brushes it while I brush my teeth. I rinse my teeth and spit it out.

"Can I braid it as well?" Peeta asks me.

"Do you know how?"

"Well, not as good as how your mother does it but I learnt from Delly."

"Alright then."

He takes my hair in his hands and I watch him through the mirror. The concentrated look in his face is so cute. It's different from when he is painting. His eyebrows are furrowed and his lips tightly pressed together. I find myself snickering quietly and he doesn't realize. He finishes braiding my hair and I feel it.

"Not bad." I say and he gives me a shy smile.

We walk out the bathroom, I close all the lights in the room and Peeta and I just lie in the bed. We're under the covers, looking at each other in the darkness. Peeta starts shuddering, his cold I guess. He comes closer and tangles our legs together.

"If- if I get married Peeta…if I ever get married with someone else, would you leave me?"

His quiet for a long time and I can't see him through the darkness.

"You mean Gale?" He sounds calm but his voice is shaky.

"I didn't say Gale-"

"Well if you ever get married with Gale. I'll be there. I wouldn't want to miss it." He interrupts.

"I didn't say Gale." I repeat.

"It's pretty obvious isn't it Katniss? Both you and I know that at the end of the day, it's always going to be Gale." He says, he doesn't angry nor sad. It just like we're having a normal conversation. "You'll marry Gale; you're going to make him the happiest man alive."

I stay quiet, I can't do this. What am I going to do?

_What you have to do._

Haymitch's words echo in my head. I think Peeta is waiting for me to say something but I just sigh and turn around. I close my eyes and try to get some sleep.

I don't sleep peaceful that night, just like every night, Peeta just holds me as usual. I feel so sleepy and I'm a little drowsy from screaming that I don't even know where I am or what to do. I mumble something but I don't remember what I said right after because I just fall asleep.

* * *

_Thanks for reading and please review and tell me what you think, what you didn't like and what you liked. Thanks for reading. Until next update, keep in touch._

__RestlessIdeas


	10. Sealed With A Kiss

_Yay! Another update! Hopefully you guys liked the last chapter and don't forget to review on it. And don't forget to review on this one. Thanks for  
being patient for the last days that I haven't updated._

_Enjoy this one guys._

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN THE HUNGER GAMES**

* * *

**CHAPTER TEN: SEALED WITH A KISS**

Something is off about Peeta as soon as we wake up and when we were in the hallways a while ago.

"I think District 2 is going to be really interesting don't you think?" Effie asks everyone in the table. "I mean Katniss had a little trouble with Clove and Peeta tried to fit in with the Careers in the Games. I don't think I'm going to like the crowd on this one."

"I think…that you should just shut up." Haymitch says dispassionately and a few people on the table let out a smile.

Effie glares at him and purses her lips together. She continues with her breakfast and after that all I can hear are utensils clinking together. I look at Peeta again and he's quiet as and it looks like he has a lot of things going on around his head. As soon as Haymitch finishes breakfast and walks off Peeta leaves his food on his plate and follow him. He leaves everyone on the table in confusion.

"That was very rude of Peeta. Not saying anything all morning then suddenly storming off like he did." Effie says.

I look at where Haymitch and Peeta have walked off into.

"I think we should just leave alone," I hear Cinna say and I look at him. I can see that his statement is pointed at me but he doesn't make it obvious for everyone else, just for me.

We continue eating silently until we hear Peeta and Haymitch yelling and arguing, everyone stops eating and looks at the direction of their muffled argument. We can't understand everything they're saying but I managed to understand some words.

"I thought that we weren't going to keep anything from each other Haymitch!"

"That was after!"

"…Doesn't count!"

"You and Katniss…played me…like a…who doesn't know anything!" Peeta is talking louder and faster and I can't understand anything.

"It's the only way!" Haymitch yells back just as strong.

"I think I should go check this out." Cinna says and head off.

"…Is about love, it isn't…with!" Peeta shouts this time.

"It doesn't need to happen…Peeta! We don't have to...just an idea!"

I stop listening to their heated argument and continue eating. We hear Cinna try to calm them down and loud steps walking off then hear a loud slam of the door. Cinna comes back with Haymitch and he orders for a drink. Haymitch runs his hand through his hair shakily and we all stare at him hoping that he would at least say something.

Haymitch gives me and empty look and say, "We really did it this time sweetheart…"

Everyone changes their gaze at me and I try to think. I harden my jaw and walk out the dining area angrily. I walk through the hallways to Peeta room and I bang on his door angrily.

"Peeta open the door!" I scream. I think everyone can hear me but I don't care. I want to know what we did. There's no answer and I knock harder.

"Peeta!" I know his here, I heard something knock over before I banged on his door. I feel someone's hand go to my shoulder and I jump a little.

"Come on Katniss. Let him calm down." Haymitch says.

He pulls me away from the door and walk down the hallways. "What is it Haymitch? What's wrong?"

"He's angry that we kept another secret form him."

What!" I yell.

"He didn't know you two were supposed to get married." He says quietly, "He said you mentioned it last night, he understand why you have to get married but he said that it wasn't part of his plans."

"I never told him anything Haymitch…" I mumble.

"You did, last night. After you screamed yourself awake."

I remember now, I remember mumbling something to him but I don't remember what I said. Maybe that was it, maybe I told him that Haymitch said that we should try to get married. We made a promise to Peeta to tell him all our plans and the truth. And we didn't keep it.

"He'll calm down sweetheart. He always does." Haymitch continues.

"How would you know?" I say through gritted teeth and I make my way to my room.

I stay in my room until they call me for lunch. I go and eat and Peeta doesn't come out. I try knocking on his door again, I find it unlocked but he's not there. I give up looking for Peeta and wait for us to arrive in District 3 all by myself.

I don't see Peeta until we get out of the train to our car. He's talking to Haymitch with an apologetic look on his face. Haymitch gives him a kind smile and waves him off. Haymitch and Peeta's fight have been the gossip on the train the whole day. The lucky thing is; no one knew that they were fighting about the whole marriage thing and no one was nearby at the time. That was just luck and we were really close at being exposed of our acting to be in love thing. I'm a little disappointed at Peeta for that because if someone heard that Peeta didn't know about getting married then they will suspect that something is going on.

Peeta come next to me and offers his arm. I put my arm around his and we walk to the car in silence.

District 2 has got to be the most nerve-racking stop yet. I hated Cato and Clove, sure I didn't think they deserved to die like that but they were mean, nasty, hey show no mercy and I loathe them. My speech didn't sound sympathetic and if you were smart enough you would know that I didn't mean one single nice word.

As we make our way to dinner I talk to Peeta but I don't talk about his fight with Haymitch. We enter the mayor's house and we are welcomed with forced smiles by people who secretly hate us and girls that are giddy about Peeta. At least they don't hate Peeta and they're not giving him mean looks, instead, I get the mean looks and the death glares. They steal Peeta away from me multiple times and they talk to him about how muscular he is, how good-looking he is and they praise him for joining the Career pack with Cato and Clove. Peeta's nice to the girls and when they pull him away from me I find him having a fun conversation somewhere else in the room. Everytime I take him back to dance or something, straight after, they take him away again and I give up trying to call him to back to sit with me while I eat. He doesn't even try to come back and he looks really happy with those girls. I have to admit, I feel a little lonely without him.

A young man, probably 19, who introduced himself as Julian invites me to dance with him. He has brown hair, brown eyes and he looks elegant. His probably rich, before I dance with him I look for Peeta and his dancing with one of those giddy girls.

"I am a big fan of yours." Julian says as he lands his hand on my waist.

I smile at him and say a thank you.

"I'm really sorry about Rue. She didn't deserve that." He says and I actually take time to look him in the eye. I just nod and I don't say anything.

We continue dancing and to the music and I start getting tired again.

"Maybe we should take a break," Julian says.

I agree and I sit down on a chair. To my surprise, Julian sits next to me and hands me a drink. I thank him quietly and he starts saying jokes. They're actually pretty funny and I find myself laughing most times. People that pass us by have confused looks on their faces and a lot give me glares. Julian tells me not to worry about it and says it was better of that I won.

"Thank you, it's really uncomfortable for people to look at me like that. But I understand." I say.

"Do you want me to get you something to eat?"

"No I'm fine. Really I am. I'm just waiting for Peeta."

"Oh right, of course." He says somewhat disappointed.

We sit there having a nice conversation about anything. He jokes and I laugh. I start yawning because I am tired and he thought he was boring. I quickly wave that off and tell him I am just tired. He offers to dance again and I do. I don't see Peeta until we have to go. I don't even know what he has been up to. I stand next to Peeta as we say goodbye to the people.

"It was a very nice evening Mr. Mayor. Thank you so much." I say to the mayor.

"Thank you Miss Everdeen. Have you met my son?"

"I'm sorry. I don't think I have." I tell him.

He turns around, "Julian!"

Julian! That's his son. That was a bit unexpected but I wasn't really surprised. Peeta, who is next to me, is saying goodbye to the mayor's wife.

"I actually met Julian a while ago. He kept me company while Peeta was off doing whatever he was doing." I tell the mayor.

"Hello Katniss." Julian says, "We never had the chance to say goodbye properly."

"No, we haven't." I say then I feel Peeta's arm go around me.

"Mr. Mayor." Peeta says then shake hands with him. "This is your son?"

"Oh yes Peeta. His the same age as you, I think you're a few months older though. His name's Julian."

"Julian." Peeta puts his hand out and they shake hands.

"Nice to meet you Peeta. Anyway Katniss, I never got to say how beautiful you look tonight."

"Thank you Julian, you don't look bad yourself. Thank you for the jokes by the way." I say.

"Don't worry about it. Peeta was busy with other girls." He chuckles and I smile. I look at Peeta and his expression is unreadable.

"This is goodbye then." I say to Julian.

"Yeah, well hopefully I'll see you again." He moves closer to give me a hug and I unwrap myself from Peeta. Peeta lets out a quiet groan and I wrap my arms around Julian's neck. Julian holds me in a way that makes me uncomfortable. He's too close for my liking but I don't show that I'm bothered. Julian doesn't let go until Peeta coughs. But before he lets go a squeeze on my butt cheeks and Peeta reacts first.

"Hey!" He swats Julian's hand away and scoffs at Peeta.

"Excuse me Mr. Mellark." The mayor says.

"Yeah excuse me." Julian says and shoves Peeta.

"Julian!" I yell.

Peeta shoves back and Julian starts threatening. People around stop to look. The mayor and I start trying to stop them but Peeta makes things worse when he throws a punch at Julian's cheek.

"Peeta!" That was Effie's familiar shriek.

Julian groans then attacks Peeta and throws him to the ground. They continue throwing punches at each other and not one of them misses.

"Enough!" I push Julian off Peeta with all the strength I have and he lands on the ground. Effie runs to Peeta's aid and we help him up.

"You freak! You touch her like that again I'll freaking cut your throat!" Peeta yells at Julian.

"I don't think that was very necessary Mr. Mellark!" The Mayor yells angrily at him.

"Maybe you just try teaching him some manners!" Peeta spits and Julian jumps at him but he is stopped by his mother. Peeta does the same think but I grab onto his arm.

"I saw what my son did Miss Everdeen. I am extremely sorry." Julian's mother apologizes.

Before I can say anything Peeta raises his voice once more, "This better be not the kind of thing you teach your stupid son!"

"Peeta…" I say quietly and pull him to me. He looks at me and his face has several cuts and already bruises are forming. Peeta's injuries are worse than Julian's because Peeta was pinned down. I wipe the blood off his chin with my thumb.

Julian spits some blood on the floor and scoffs at Peeta.

"Come on Peeta." I hold his hand and we walk off quietly. Effie and everyone else following behind. I hear Haymitch say an apology on Peeta's behalf and follows us back to the car.

"Are you okay honey?" Effie asks.

"I'll be fine Effie." Peeta says angrily through gritted teeth.

"Peeta you didn't have to punch him." I say because he really didn't need to. Now he's hurt.

Peeta lets go off my hand instantly, "Are you actually taking his side!" He raises his voice at me.

"No Peet-"

"Fine then I'm sorry Katniss! I'm sorry I overreacted! Is that what you want to hear! Is that what you want to hear after I've just embarrassed myself for you!" He yells.

"Do you really want to fight about this!" I spit back.

"I'm not trying to!"

"It looks like it Peeta! And no! I'm not taking his side!"

"Yeah right!"

"Both of you! Shut it and get in the car!" Haymitch shouts from behind. We look at Haymitch in annoyance. "Don't give me that look! All you two do is fight and fight! I'm sick of it!"

Peeta wouldn't have yelled at me in the first place if he didn't have such a bad day. But he did and he has been in a bad mood and I have no reason to blame him but now he has put me in a bad mood.

"I just didn't want you to get hurt." I say quietly to Peeta and walk off to our car. I don't sit next to Peeta on the way to the train so that I can let him steam off a little bit.

Before I got o my room inside the train he catches up with me though. His face is dry with blood and his cuts and bruises showing.

"I thought I'd take a shower here." He says. I nod and let him in.

I take a shower first and he waits outside for me to finish. When I do, I pass the first aid kit and take it out with me.

"Let me see your face." I tell Peeta when I get out. He is lying on the bed facing the ceiling. I jump on the bed beside him.

"It's okay. I'll take a shower and the blood will come off anyway." He says.

"Wait here." I go back inside the bathroom grab a face towel and wet it with warm water. I find a small basin among the small drawers and I pour some warm water in there as well. I get out of the bathroom, place the basin on the floor, sit back down in bed with Peeta and I start wiping the blood of his face.

"Oh, careful." He winces.

"Sorry…" I continue patting the blood off his cut. "How did he manage to get a cut on your face?"

"I don't know, his knuckles were quite bony."

After I got all the blood off his face I look for some band aids or anything to stop it from bleeding. I find some that are just the right size for his cuts.

"We'll take the band aids off your face in the morning." I tell him.

"I wasn't planning on taking a shower anyway," He mumbles.

"What?"

"What? Why did you say what Katniss?"

"No, you didn't make sense. Did he somewhat punch you in the head or something." I ask him jokingly.

"I think so." He chuckles, "Thanks for cleaning the blood off my face Doctor Everdeen."

I giggle, "You're welcome Mr. Mellark, thank you for coming up to my defense a while ago."

"No one touches my Katniss that way."

"My Katniss? I think he did hit you in the head hard. Really hard." I chuckle.

"You will be…soon…why is the room spinning Katniss?" He says and lies back down on the bed.

I pull his hair off his forehead. "You're just a little tired Peeta. Go to sleep."

Instead of closing his eyes he sits up and gets off the bed. "I have to change first."

"Right, I'll just clean this stuff up." I pick up the basin and the first aid kit then make my wait to the bathroom.

_You will be…soon…_

I wash my face with water to wake up a little bit. His just a little dizzy Katniss…

I get out of the bathroom and Peeta's clothes are everywhere. His tie, his jacket, pants and shirt is all over the floor and Peeta lies there under the covers; snoring his head off. I can't even see his head because it's also under the covers.

As I pick up the clothes I realize that Peeta doesn't have fights very often and he probably did get punched in the head because his acting really weird. I fold his clothes and place it on top of the bedside table. I'm about to lie in bed when Peeta suddenly grabs me by the waist and I scream.

"Peeta!"

"Roar!" He yells and throws me around the bed. I start laughing because of the way he holds my waist. It tickles.

"Peeta let me go!"

"No!"

He pins me down on the bed makes sound on neck. Probably pretending that his nibbling on my neck.

"Peeta! It tickles!"

To my surprise, he stops and looks at me.

"Peeta get off me and let's try to get some sleep."

He shakes his head, "I'm dizzy. Octavia gave me this weird drink before we said goodbye. She said it will take effect after an hour or so."

"Why did he give you a drink Peeta? Do you know what it was?"

"I said that I was tired and she gave me the drink, she said it would wake me up a little."

"Well, you're really awake now." I mutter, "You know you shouldn't take drinks from Octavia or Fulvia. You don't know what kinds of things they make in the Capitol. You're acting like a 7 year old for crying out loud."

"The drink is taking effect." He whispers, "Beware Katniss. Actually, it was someone that looked like Octavia that gave me those drinks."

"What do you mean?"

"There were these girls. They gave me the drink. They wouldn't let me leave Katniss. They're 6 of them against one of me. If you were there you wouldn't have been afraid to tell them off. You never came though."

"Oh Peeta."

"Katniss you're blue!" He gasps and then starts laughing, "You're blue!" He cackles.

I stare at him like his crazy. He probably is, I have no idea what kind of drink those girls gave him but I wouldn't want to know. He continues laughing and then suddenly he kisses me. I feel his smile on my lips and I kiss him back.

"My…Katniss…" He says in between kisses and I stop.

"What's wrong?" He asks, "Why'd you stop"

"N-nothing." I answer and he leans in on me again and we kiss. Peeta kisses me like there's no tomorrow and I arch into him every now and then. I tangle my fingers in his soft curls. I find myself giggling while we kiss because of the way Peeta holds onto my waist. I push Peeta back after a few minutes.

"Maybe we should just sleep Peeta."

"I would rather kiss you," He says. "When should I propose Katniss?"

I frown, "You don't have to if you don't want to." I say quietly.

"We said we'd do anything remember?" He says.

"I remember…" I mumble.

"Can I kiss you now Katniss?"

"We should really sleep."

He groans and kisses me anyway. I don't feel like I'm kissing him properly because his kissing me with hunger and need.

"Peeta…calm…down…" I say breathlessly between kisses.

He does slow down and we stop kissing again. "I'm sorry you have to get married to me Katniss. I really am."

I smile at him, "You would make a great husband Peeta." And I give him a quick kiss.

"That means we need to make babies." He guffaws. I don't say anything I just watch him laugh his head off with absolutely no expression on my face.

"I like babies Katniss, they're cute. Maybe they're going to as blue as you."

"Blue?" I ask him.

"You're blue Katniss." He taps my nose and laughs again. It's just like his drunk all over again.

"You should really be careful about what you drink Peeta. Stop being so modest and stop doing everything they tell you." I say.

"I like kissing my Katniss. She has soft lips and soft hair. Have I told you about my Katniss? She has soft lips and soft hair."

I feel a shot of pain in my chest.

"She sounds like a really nice girl." I say shakily.

"She's the most beautiful girl in the world." He chuckles, "Let me tell you a secret." He continues by whispering, "She doesn't love me back…"

He smiles at me and closes his eyes, "And it doesn't feel good. She has a sister called Prim and she is the cutest thing ever. Her mother is a nurse in a way. And this boy he loves…what's his name again…Gale, is a really swell guy. He doesn't know how lucky he is."

Peeta blinks a few times then smiles at me. I start to feel lonely. Peeta puts a mask on for me every day when he is hurting inside.

"Do you love me that much Peeta?" I ask him sadly.

"Hm? Sorry, are you my Katniss? My Katniss isn't blue she's beautiful. You look like her though, I didn't know Katniss has a twin." He says.

"Peeta?" I feel his forehead and cheeks with the back of my hand.

"Blue lady? Do you think…Katniss will ever love me back?" He asks me.

My heart skips a beat, I don't know what to say.

"Um…Peeta lie down." I slowly push him off me until he is lying down on the bed. He closes his eyes for a few seconds then looks at me again. His blue eyes shining with adoration.

"I love my Katniss." He mumbles.

I breathe in shakily and I start to get teary. I get out of bed and turn off the lights. I go back under the covers with a shirtless Peeta wearing nothing but his boxers again. When he feels my presence I see him open his eyes and he turn his body to me.

"Can I kiss you now Katniss?" He says.

"Uh, of course. You don't have to ask." I answer and my voice is still shaky.

"My Katniss…" He kisses me with a new found passion that feels nice. It's slow and sensual.

I move closer to Peeta and he holds me close, not wanting to let go. I shower Peeta's lips with pecks just to play around with him. The thing with me and Peeta is that we kiss. Even without the cameras, I'm confused about how I feel about him but we still kiss. And kissing is a sign of love.

I break our kiss and we bid each other goodnight.

"I'm never leaving you again Katniss. Trust me; no one will ever touch your butt like that again." He says tiredly. "No one touches my Katniss like that."

First it was the word 'love' now it's 'my Katniss'. I really don't like the way heavy drink beverages affect Peeta. Whatever those girls gave him might have been some sort of drug. He wraps me around his strong arms.

"Do you Katniss will ever love me back?" Peeta mumbles before he falls in a slumber.

I think…that Katniss has a lot on her mind right now. I think that Katniss should have some time to think about what to do.

The warmth from Peeta makes me really comfortable. I fall asleep wrapped in his protection but I wake up to his nightmare. It takes minutes for Peeta to calm his breathing and take even more to make him talk.

"They were going to take my Katniss away from me. I couldn't let that happen. Instead, they made me watch you die. I don't my Katniss to die." And for the first time in a long time Peeta starts sobbing.

"Peeta shhh…" I wrap my around him and I start getting a painful stab in my chest. Peeta starts getting the hiccups and I hold onto him nice and tight.

"Katniss…Katniss…I love you…I love you Katniss…" He mumbles into my hair.

"Peeta, it's okay. I'm right here."

I feel his tears drop to my collarbone and I can't but feel upset too. I loosen my grip and look at his face. The band aids are stuck nicely to his face and his tears fall. I wipe them away with my thumb and soon I kiss his tears off his face.

"Katniss?" He whimpers like a small child who lost his mother.

"I'm here Peeta."

He sniffs a lot and tears continue to fall.

"Katniss I'm tired." He says in between his hiccups. "I'm tired of seeing you…get taken away from me…over and…over again-"

He chokes on his last word and continues sobbing.

"Don't worry Peeta; no one will ever take me away from you. I'll be right here." I assure him.

"I can't lose you Katniss…I just can't." He whisper and sobs even harder. I start to get teary myself and I continue wiping his tears away. I pull his hair off his face and continue trying to calm him down. He starts whimpering and I get another shot of pain in my chest. His tears start falling on his bare chest. I don't know what to do. I'm impractical.

I move as close as I can get to Peeta and I kiss his tears away.

"Kat. Niss." He hics.

"Katniss I love you. If I ever lost you Katniss, I'd I- I'd do anyt- anything to g- get you back." He says.

"Peeta…"

"Katniss…Katniss please don't leave me Katniss." He whimpers.

I feel my own tears fall from my eyes and I wipe them away.

"I won't leave you Peeta. Peeta I won't leave you I promise."

"Katniss it hurts."

I kiss Peeta by the lips because I can't take it anymore. "I know Peeta I know…shhh."

Peeta positions himself so that he is leaning on the headboard. Peeta wipes his tears away but he still has the hiccups. Peeta tells me to lie down and I do but I lay my head on his lap and he strokes it. Every now and then I would feel him sniffle and here his hiccups and I feel my heart dropping everytime.

"Peeta lie down with me." I beg him. He says nothing but I see him nod. We lie down facing each other and I watch Peeta sniffle and then his eyes get watery again.

"Peeta…" I shuffle closer and wipe his tears away. He presses his forehead against mine hold me closer. He starts sobbing again and I can hear his cry.

"Peeta, Peeta please please don't cry." I say desperately.

"I I I- k-know you-you're Gale's Kat-Katniss but please do-don't leav- leave me." He chokes at every word. At his sentence my tears fall once again and I hold onto Peeta. He holds me nice and tight against him and he continues to cry. I let my tears fall because I can't stop them.

"I'm not letting take you away from me Katniss. I won't let them." He gags.

"Peeta sh-shh. It's going to be okay. I will not leave you. I- I- I'm not going to leave you…"

It takes a long time until out cries have settled I make sure Peeta's face is dry. He gives me a long kiss before we fall asleep wrapped as firmly as we can together. I have a nightmare as well but I don't scream myself awake. It wasn't a major one but I wake up to Peeta sleeping soundly. Before I close my eyes to sleep again I give him a soft kiss on the lips. This kiss was for Peeta, not for anybody else or for any camera, this kiss was for him. To let him know that I won't leave him. I'll stay beside Peeta no matter what. To let him know that nothing will set us apart.

And I sealed that promise with a kiss.

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_Sorry if I had any grammar mistakes guys. Anyways, hopefully you enjoyed that and please review and leave me anything you want to say._

_We're getting close to the end of the story so stay tuned with the last couple of updates._

_Thanks for reading! Review!_

RestlessIdeas


	11. Not For YouNot For Me

_Yay! Finally! An update. Sorry for the wait. Homework and stuff, hopefully some of you can relate. I just want to thank the reviewers, I am sorry I don't reply or anything but I really wish I could acknowledge all of you, in a way, I kinda am. Thank you so much for all the reviews, it's the same one and they are the best readers ever! THANK YOU!_

_Enjoy this chapter guys and beware of grammar mistake or wrong spellings. Please leave me what you think in the end_.

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN THE HUNGER GAMES!**

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**CHAPTER ELEVEN: NOT FOR YOU...NOT FOR ME**

Peeta's breathes tickles my neck and that's when I wake up for the morning. I open my eyes and I'm facing the ceiling with my back on the mattress. Peeta sleeps with his arms around me and his face cramped inside my neck. I turn my body carefully to face him. Some of the band aids on his face aren't sticking properly but I leave them alone.

What am I going to do with Peeta?

He wears his heart on his sleeve even though it's hard to see how he feels. He sleeps peacefully, breathing evenly and he looks safe in his sleep. It's cold and our blanket only go up to our waist and reveals Peeta bare torso. So I grab it and put it around the both of us.

I jump as Effie bangs on our door. "KATNISS! WAKEY WAKEY! WE HAVE A BIG BIG BIG DAY TODAY!"

Peeta starts mumbling because his being disturbed. I turn my head to the door, "Coming Effie!" I yell.

Peeta's eyelids start moving and I stroke his cheek. "Peeta go back to sleep…"

"Katniss…"He mutters tiredly.

"I'm here. Go back to sleep." I say quietly.

He manages to sleep again and I quietly get out of bed. And head to the dining area. District 1 is our stop today. Then we're going to the Capitol tomorrow. I think about what Peeta and I have been going through The Victory Tour. We spend our time fighting, crying, laughing, playing around and trying to find out what's real between the both of us. Hopefully our friendship is; our friendship is one of the things I've learnt to treasure in my life. That has to be real.

"Where is Peeta?" Effie asks.

"Still sleeping…" I answer.

"What was with all the crying last night?" Cinna asks and everyone's eyes gaze on me.

"Um…nightmare."

"Must have been a scary one." Haymtich says.

"Who was having the nightmare?" Octavia asks.

"Well obviously it was Katniss. There was crying involved, and girls cry." Flavius says.

"Excuse me! Crying isn't about what gender you are in!" Venia spits at Flavius.

"It's about how strong you are as a person." Octavia says loud and proud.

"It was Peeta." I say quietly.

"HA! See I told you guys that- What? It was Peeta?" Flavius cries.

"Oh dear! Peeta is a big boy; surely a nightmare can't hurt him." Effie gasps.

Effie is right. Peeta is a big boy and nightmares can't hurt him, but it did. Of course it did, it just had to hurt Peeta because the nightmare was about losing me.

"It depends on what the nightmare is about Effie." Haymitch points out.

"Oh! Must have been a bad one!" She cries.

"Yes, very bad." Flavius says quietly.

I stop moving and put my hands in my lap. Everyone continues to eat and I can't make myself move to pick up the spoon and continue eating. I know I'm upset and I should continue eating before they find out what's wrong and try their poor attempts at cheering me up.

"Katniss?" I hear his voice echo through the halls and we hear his familiar loud steps making their way to us.

"I'm here." I say loudly.

Peeta appears; his hair messy, his face with the band aids and he decided to put a shirt on. We wouldn't want Effie to get hyped up if he didn't.

"Katniss, I woke up 'cause you were gone." He says and sits beside me.

"I came to get breakfast." I say and I realise that everyone is staring at him. I find myself doing the same thing and he looks at me. His eyes tired and weary, it looks like he has been crying as well. He grabs a plate and sniffs. I take hold of his hand from under the table to comfort him a little.

Everyone watches his every move. Fascinated by what he might be about to do.

"Are you alright Peeta?" Octavia mumbles.

At first Peeta snaps his head up when he heard his name but I don't think he heard the question.

"Sorry?" He says.

"Are you alright?" Octavia repeats.

"Yes, of course. Why wouldn't I be?" He answers.

"It's just-" She stops when it looks like Venia elbowed her somehow.

Peeta looks at Octavia questioningly and then looks at me. I don't give him any sign of recognition and I turn my head away. Suddenly I don't feel hungry anymore; I pass my plate to Peeta and eh accepts it. I wait for him to finish eating.

"About the fighting last night Peeta, I don't want any more of those to happen. Even though the mayor's son was being rude, you didn't have to hit him." Effie starts.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it, I have no idea what came over me. I just reacted I guess." He says.

"Now, I understand you to shove him but not hit him Peeta. That's just not you." Effie remarks.

"Peeta got drugged last night." I interrupt, "Maybe that's why he reacted the way he did.

"What? I did?" Peeta says confusingly at me.

"Yeah you did," I say slowly, does that mean he doesn't remember anything he said to me last night.

"That explains it. You were madder than usual." Haymitch starts.

"Then you were acting really weird when we got in bed." I say.

Thank God Effie didn't have another complain on our sleeping arrangements.

"I- I don't remember." He says.

"Do you remember crying in the middle of the night?" Fulvia says quickly.

I see Peeta's eyes furrow, "I was- I was crying. Why?"

Maybe the drug didn't wear off that quickly. It might have caused Peeta's nightmare to be much more dreadful than any nightmare he has had. He doesn't even remember it.

In a way I'm glad for Peeta. It's better if he doesn't remember so that he doesn't have to be reminded about his nightmare. So that he doesn't need to fear about losing me because I'm never going away.

"Don't worry about it. You just had a nightmare." I say.

"Yeah you did! You cried because of it." Flavius states.

I see Peeta think a moment then he looks at me. "Must've been about you." He says quietly but everyone else hears.

I put my head down, "I'm not really hungry. I'm going to get cleaned up." I push my chair back and walk to my room. I don't know what came over me; maybe I just don't want to think about it. I'm not trying to be mean, I guess I just need some time for myself I guess.

I take a shower and change into new clothes when I touch the doorknob it opens and I stumble a few steps back. Peeta enters the room looking fresh for the day. He's all showered up and clean. His band aids are off and you can see his cuts. Nothing that make up can't fix when we go to dinner tonight.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" He asks and his hand lingers on the knob.

"Yeah sure." I nod.

He closes the door behind him. I go and sit on the edge of the bed and I wait for him.

He sits beside me and he I hear him take a breath in.

"Katniss are you okay?" He asks slowly.

I look at him and smile, "Of course I'm okay. Why wouldn't I be?"

"Katniss something's bothering you. What is it?" He moves closer and puts his arm behind me. I bite my lip. "What is it Katniss?" And this time his voice is softer.

"I-I really don't know Peeta. I really don't know." I look into his blue eyes when I mumble the words then I make a stand.

"I'm really confused. I don't know what to think. May- maybe I'm just scared. Because we're nearly home you know and I'm worried ab-about Prim and m-my mother…" I starts stuttering and Peeta looks at me really concerned. He stands up as well and takes hold of both of my hands.

I haven't finished yet, "Maybe it's you…" I say silently. He looks at me and his eyebrows furrow.

"What do you mean?" He asks confusingly.

"Peeta y-you scared the life out of me last night. I was so scared for you and I- I didn't know what to do. Al- all I know is that I didn- didn't want to leave you." I say quickly and then wrap my arms around his neck nice and tightly. He holds me too, wraps his arms around my waist and then kisses my forehead.

"I'm sorry I don't remember Katniss. But, I would do anyth-" He says softly and I interrupt.

"I just don't like seeing you like that. In a way, I'm guilty." I say.

"Don't be. You shouldn't blame yourself…ever." He mumbles and I close my eyes when his lips brush my neck.

"Peeta…we're nearly home." I mumble, "I know, you excited?" He says.

"Not really, I'm just worried." His grip on me loosens and my grip on him tightens. I just don't want to let go. He realises and holds me again.

"Haymitch wants us by the way." He says.

"When?"

"Now."

This time I pull back but I keep my arms around him. "Is he mad again?" I ask.

"No, you have nothing to worry about." He kisses the tip of my nose and I give him a quick kiss.

"Let's go then." He says and he takes my hand and lead me out.

Haymitch takes us to his room where it's just us.

"Alright, after today we're heading to the Capitol and then to District 12, when we're there we only have one more chance to give out a last impression. We need to figure out our last move. And these last few days need to be the brightest out of all. Do anything, anything you can if you want to make it work. Anything." Haymitch explains nice and slowly, "So, are we still buying a ring for Katniss?" Haymitch continues.

Peeta and I look at each other. He looks bothered when he looks back at Haymitch.

"Anything…" He mumbles quietly.

"When are we proposing?" Haymitch asks directly at me.

"Um…I think…we should make it like a public thing. For everyone to see." I mumble.

"Well…give me a sec…"Haymitch says and starts thinking.

I look at Peeta and he gazes at the floor. I touch his back and he doesn't make any move.

"They do an interview with Caesar when you're in the Capitol. Best time to propose Peeta. Better come up with a speech." Haymitch says coolly.

Peeta nods slowly and leaves the room and he does it with just 3 strides.

"What was that?" I ask Haymitch, "I thought he wanted this anyway?"

"He wanted it to be real." Haymitch mutters slowly.

"Oh." I look down at my lap and fiddle with my fingers.

"You could live a thousand lifetimes and not deserve him you know." Haymitch continues and my shoulders drop; another heavy weight has been added on.

"I-I know." I mumble softly, "We really aren't being fair Haymitch."

"It's life Katniss. It's his fault…" And he says something I don't think I'll forget really easily, "He fell for you."

_He fell for you._ Yeah, Peeta did.

"It's not his fault!" I yell back.

"It was just a figure of speech. Don't get mad!" He says back.

"I don't know what to do anymore Haymitch."

"Just do anything sweetheart. Anything." He mumbles the cabinets in his room, probably looking for beer. I get out of his room and look for Peeta. One part of me tells me I should and the other is telling not to and just leave him alone.

I don't know. I don't know what to do anymore. I walk and I walk until I end up outside of Peeta's door. I knock softly and there's no answer. I turn the knob and open the door. There's no one there, I move around the room. Peeta hasn't slept here in a long time that's why his bed sheets look clean. I go to the door that I think goes to the bathroom. I turn the knob slowly and when the door opens mist fogs up my vision. I swat the mist away and my eyes turn wide and Peeta stands there…naked.

Naked! I never got to look at Peeta's reaction before I gasp and slam the door closed. I walk a few steps forward, my mind blank by shock, I can't even move.

I don't hear the door of the bathroom open and I jump when Peeta's arms go around me from behind.

"Peeta!" I say loudly.

He chuckles and burrows his head on my hair, "Yes Katniss?" His voice is muffled.

"Uh. Don't scare me like that." I try to say as calm as I can. I feel my back start getting wet and it must be because of Peeta. He did take a shower.

"P- Peeta. I'm sorry I walked in on you. I couldn't hear anything." I mumble.

"It's okay." He says and turns me around. I don't know why, but when I close my eyes shut when he turns me and he laughs.

"It's okay Katniss. I'm covered."

I open my eyes slowly and he is. He's waist down is covered in an orange blanket. I smile at the color.

"What are you smiling about?" He asks almost cheekily.

I shake my head and glare at him. "You should get changed." I say seriously.

His smile drops a little. "Yeah, maybe I should."

He moves to his dresser and start getting clothes out.

"Wait Peeta. You already took a shower today." I say suspiciously.

"Yeah…I did. Funny right?" He mumbles.

"Why?"

He shrugs, "I don't know. I might be going crazy. I like to take showers when I'm upset. It's just a think I'm used to, when my mother finishes beating me I take a shower and I cry in the shower. Then all my tears get washed down the drain. It's better than letting it dry up in your face."

He is upset. About the whole wedding. I start to feel bad straight away.

As if I'm not in the room Peeta drops the towel and I turn around at reflex.

"Katniss really?" He asks.

"Yes Peeta, really?" I say somewhat annoyed.

I feel him move and the next thing I know his behind me. "If we can sleep in the same bed together without out you getting creeped out then you shouldn't feel weird about me being naked."

"Do you have underwear on?" I ask him and I cover my eyes.

"I just don't see why I can get really close to you at night an-" I interrupt Peeta before he can speak.

"I'll turn around when _you_ put something on." My voice sound harsh, almost threatening.

I feel him move away. "Katniss what do you think? Boxers or briefs?"

I roll my eyes, "Peeta just put something on."

"I'll put on these briefs. They look like shorts to me, like short shorts, only for men." He mumbles and I find myself smiling. "There we go, underwear on. Turn around now Katniss."

I slowly turn and look at Peeta smiling handsomely at me. I'm never going to get used to seeing Peeta half-naked, with all his abs and muscles showing. He stares at me smiling and I stare at him scowling. "What should I wear today?" He asks.

"Peeta, stop playing games with me." I say with a small smile.

"Pants or shorts? Shirt, long sleeves or tank tops?" He asks with a smile.

"Just put some clothes on." I say sounding a little annoyed.

He smiles and walks closer to me, I feel like I should back away but I don't. He eventually wraps his arms around me he says something to me in the most sweetest voice he can, "I don't know what to wear for the day Katniss. Could you please help me?" He kisses me and I give in. I put my arms around him and when I feel his warm skin I wake up a little bit and break our kiss.

"I don't feel comfortable kissing a Peeta who only has his underwear on." I say.

"You have to at least feel comfortable with me half naked Katniss. We're going to get married." He says.

My smile drops a little and I hold onto his neck limply.

"Yeah, um, about that." I start, "Peeta if you're not happy we can- we can come up with something else you know."

He lets go of me and goes to his wardrobe and starts looking for clothes. I don't like it when he does this; when his quiet and he cries silently. Silent tears that I don't get to see or hear. I decide to change the subject and I stand next to him while he shuffles around his clothes.

"You know that I'm not much for fashion but I think you should use this white V-neck and wear these jeans. They're black but they look loose you know, not too tight." I say quickly and grab the clothing and hand it to Peeta.

"Hey thanks!" He says smiling but he doesn't sound too excited. I watch him put his shirt and his jeans.

"Could you hand me that belt then." He says, I look around and I see it hanged on the headboard. I grab the black leather belt and pass it to him.

"Katniss…maybe you should check on Cinna for the day you know. Talk about your dress for the day or something."

"And where are you going to be?" I ask him.

"I don't know." He shrugs.

I walk to him, "And if I need you?" I say.

"You won't. Trust me Katniss, you don't need me. I don't even know why Haymitch and you thought of marriage in the first place."

"You have no idea how-" I stop myself before I can continue.

He lets out a small smile and hugs me. It surprises me that I'm surprised.

"I just feel like a hug Katniss." He mumbles into my neck.

I hug him tightly and before I let go to get out of his room, I kiss his cheek and leave. I don't know what to do for the day. Obviously Peeta can't really stand me right now. I look for Cinna like what Peeta said and we talk about fashion and dresses.

I spend my whole day with Cinna until he said I need to get changed for District 1. It was sad not seeing Peeta for the whole day. I didn't know what to do. I don't see him again until we go outside and his all nicely groomed for tonight.

When we get to dinner we get introduced to the mayor again and luckily he doesn't have a son. The first thing we do is eat dinner. When Peeta sees that I put a little too much on his plate he doesn't put a lot on his because he knows that I will make him eat the leftovers.

"I promise that I'll try to finish all of my food this time." I say. I don't waste food; I just try to eat as many as I can while I'm here. I try to finish the entire food in my plate but everything is just so delicious you keep putting more.

"I really doubt that you know." He says and we sit at an available table just for the two of us.

"If you don't mind answering Peeta but…where were you all day?" I ask him slowly, a little nervous that he might get mad.

He shrugs, "Thinking, Painting and I even took a nap. How was your day?"

"Well I learnt a lot about fabric and color and which clothes match with witch clothes." I say flatly.

"Ohhh, must've been fun."

"Very…" I say sarcastically.

I find a weird looking piece of meat in my dish. I don't judge food but this one looks really different, maybe it's like a one of a kind.

"Peeta, could you taste half of this for me?" I say to Peeta.

He looks up at me and smiles, "Sure."

I half the square shaped meat and feed it to Peeta. He makes a joke by biting my finger while I feed him and I roll my eyes at his poor attempt of scaring me. He chews and then he nods happily.

"I haven't seen that in any of the trays yet but it's good. Try it."

"Okay." I say and he is right. I don't know what it is though. Maybe some animal that they have in District 1. Peeta was right again, I didn't finish my food and I let him eat the leftovers.

"You always leave food for me don't you Peeta?" I ask him while he eats.

"Mm hm." He hums and nods. I can see that Peeta is still upset but he is very good at hiding it. But not good enough. I can still see it in his eyes, it's hard to tell but when you deep in his blue eyes you can tell that something is wrong.

I stop staring at Peeta and come to my senses when he burps silently and I giggle. I grab a handkerchief and wipe some sauce on his chin. It was probably from the salad. He gives me a big wide silly smile and I do the same. We burst out laughing and stop immediately when people around the room start staring.

"I'll be right back Peeta, I need to go to the bathroom." I say and make a stand and he stands as well. I look at him confusingly.

"I'll wait outside the bathroom." He says and I continue.

I sprinkle my face with the cold water so that my makeup doesn't come off and then I realise what's at stake. My family's life, Gale's life, Peeta's life and their family's life is what's at stake here. This _is _one of our last chances to convince people that I do love Peeta.

Before I go out I tell myself something I shouldn't try to forget the whole night, to remind me of what I have to do.

_Last chance. You love him. You love Peeta. You love him. You love Peeta. Last chance Katniss._

"I open the door and waiting for me outside is Peeta standing awkwardly while another female enters the bathroom. She gives me an exciting smile and I give he a small one.

"How was your pee?" He asks me.

I laugh, "It was good, felt like heaven to be honest."

He laughs harder and takes hold of my hand. "There's this balcony just past the hall. We go through the French door." Peeta says to me.

I furrow, "You want us to go the balcony? Like, the terrace?"

"Yeah. I don't really want to dance just yet." He says.

I nod an okay and he leads me down the hall. I see the French door and the dark sky through it when we reach the end of the hall. When we reach it, Peeta opens the door and the cold air hits me and I get goose bumps straight away, I even shiver.

Peeta sees this and takes his jacket off and puts it around me.

"Thank you…" I say quietly. I walk to the nice white wooden fence around the balcony. I lean my elbows on them and stare out at the dim lights of District 1.

Peeta stands beside me. "It's nice to finally get some fresh air right?" He asks me.

"Yes. Of course it is." I lean on his side and put my head on this shoulder.

"Katniss…do- do you t-think that w-we wou-would be a hap-happy m-married couple?" His voice is shaky and he sound really nervous.

"Um…hopefully. Hopefully it won't interfere with anything that we have." I tell him and I know I'm telling the truth. I just hope he believes it.

"There are so many stars tonight. Look." I point to the sky and there are billions of them scattered everywhere. The dark sky is colored in white light that shines beautifully. I look over at Peeta and his head is craned up looking at the starts with a grin on his face. I smile at him because he looks so happy. When his happy it makes me happy, I find myself wondering why. He turns his head to look at me suddenly and I jump a little because I feel like I've been caught watching him in a way that…I don't know. Like I'm stalking him or something.

"You know sometimes I would think about you in that white dress. Going down the aisle. Marrying the person you fell in love with and with me watching from distance." This whole thing is making Peeta crazy, more and more insecure about what's going on. When he said this, it was like all hope was gone.

I stand up straighter and look down at the dark street below. I look at how empty it looks, not even a peacekeeper in sight. Is that how it feels like for Peeta? Empty, alone and abandoned just knowing that the girl he loves doesn't love him back. When will I ever fall in love with Peeta? I mean, will I ever fall in love with Peeta?

I don't know.

"I would always tell myself that you would look so gorgeous walking down that aisle. And the groom would be the most luckiest man in the world you know. I told myself that I would be there when that happens, that I will be watching. But that won't be happening now, because one of the best days of your life is ruined. You won't get to know what it feels like to marry the person you love; it would be the best feeling in the world. And now you're forced to marry someone you were thrown into the arena with. It's just unfair Katniss…it's not even real. Not for you…not for me." He says shakily and I'm finding it hard to breath. I find myself gripping on the bar of the fence and I close my eyes trying to block out everything.

My chest tightens and I start gasping for breath.

"Katniss?" Peeta asks alertly. I wave him off.

"It's okay. I'll be fine, I'm fine." I say and I look at him. He has a small smile and his looking at me with his striking blue eyes.

"You know I really regret telling the whole of Panem I loved you. I never knew it would ruin your life." He says, "I'm sorry Katniss." He says and I see him blink a few tears away.

"P-Peeta. Peeta l-look at me." I stumble on my words because of my chest. "We're going to get through this together. You know what Peeta, you probably don't remember, but I'm lucky I'm marrying you. Don't make yourself feel bad and remember that."

"E-ev-even t-though it-it's not re-real for you an-and m-me." He stutters.

"Even though," I get closer to him and kiss him. "I'm the luckiest girl in the world to marry someone like you." I say after.

He smiles a little and I know that he doesn't believe me.

I frown, "You don't believe me do you?" I say quite upset.

"You're not very good at lying." He says.

"And you're not very good yourself. You know you couldn't tell if I was lying because I wasn't." I mumble. "The last thing I need is for you to think I'm a liar Peeta. If you love me, then believe me."

He looks down and I see him harden his jaw. "Really?" He asks.

"Yes, really. The luckiest."

"Well I did something good then didn't I?" He says playfully and kisses me keenly. We kiss for what feels like hours and we stop with a jump because we hear the door open and the mayor gasp an apology.

"Oh dear! I didn't know this area was taken." The mayor exclaims. "I am deeply sorry! Please…no please…continue if you wish." He winks before he closes the door once more. Peeta takes my hadn again and I look at him.

"Let's sit." He points his head at the wall and we sit down in front of it, with our back leaning on the cold cement. I take my heels of because they really are bothering me and Peeta and I look at the stars.

"You never realise how beautiful things are until you actually go out there and look at them." He says.

"I wouldn't be able to know what's beautiful if it wasn't for you. You've shown me the most beautiful things that are left untouched and unbroken by out dirty hands the whole tour. I won't be able to stop thanking you for that." I say to him.

"A kiss would be nice." He says with a joking grin.

"Are you not tired with my kisses?"

"Who would?" He says and leans in. He gives me a tender kiss seasoned with a smile.

We get called inside a few minutes later by no other than Effie, who has probably wasted her time looking for us. We spend the night dancing and sharing affectionate kisses through the night. I see through the corner of my eyes that when people see us kiss they let out a smile. The mayor has caught us kissing anyway; Peeta and I were alone too, isn't that enough information for him to spread around the District as just another gossip?

I'm taken away by my thoughts when Peeta compliments me, "I never really get the time to say how beautiful you look every night. If I had the time, I would make a speech for every dress and make up." He says.

"Did you drink anything?" I ask jokingly, "Because you don't know what you're saying."

"No. Not after last night, with the whole drug thing. No. Not even the water." He says.

"Now that's a bit mean. District 2 hates us, no wonder why they would do that to you." I say and I wince when Peeta has accidently stepped on my foot while we dance.

"I'm sorry Katniss."

"Don't be, I'm not as good as you are." And to prove that point I step on his with my heels and he groans loudly. People around the room look instantly. How many times have Peeta and I had this awkward moment happen to us? Too much to be honest, I don't know why I'm not used to it. Peeta hides his expression in my neck and I hid mine in his. I hear a few people laugh and giggle. I redden at the embarrassment.

We continue to dance until the night ends.

* * *

I wait for Peeta in the bed. He hasn't come in the room yet. He said, as soon as we got in the train, that he'd be in my room as quick as he can. He didn't shower in here and he is talking a really long time. I try not to worry myself. I fall asleep waiting for Peeta and later wake up to someone shuffling around the room.

I blink a few times to wake up. How long was I asleep? Probably not too long anyway, just a few minutes. I slowly turn and someone stands in front of the bedside table taking care of some thick paper or cardboard, I'm too tired to concentrate.

"Peeta?" I say.

"No. Peet- Pe- Peeta f-fell off the train." This man's voice sounds shaky and sad.

My heart drops. What!

"What!" I scream.

"I'm- I'm sorry. W-we found this in his room though. W-were guess- guessing it's for you."

My eyes waters straight away and tears start falling.

"I'm sorry." He leaves quickly and I can't make him explain what happened to Peeta.

I try to move but I'm frozen. Peeta fell of the train. What! How? Why?

I sob harder and harder. I start shaking even. I remember the man being here and then suddenly I remember him dropping something on the night table. I can't breathe, I can't move and I just can feel anything right now.

What's happened with Peeta?

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_Guys...are you okay? Um, please review and tell me what you think. Sorry for the cliffhanger. Please don't get mad. :)_

RestlessIdeas


	12. Something Has To Be Real

_Man, that cliffhanger sucked. But hopefully this chapter will cheer you up a bit. Thanks for the reviews guys and I decided to reply to most of few because out of the hundreds of people that read these story only 10, 13 people review. But I guess that's enough people to tell me what I need to improve on._

_Anyways, sorry for any mistakes because I didn't proof-read this. Sorry. It takes too much time and I just want to upload this for you guys._

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN THE HUNGER GAMES.**

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**CHAPTER TWELVE: SOMETHING HAS TO BE REAL**

I eventually get myself to move and I pick up the piece of paper on the nightstand. Tears dropping on the water as I sob. It's folded in half and my name is neatly written on the front.

Oh Peeta.

I stare at his handwriting before I shakily unfold it. My chest tightens everytime I make a move and everytime I whine.

_Katniss,_

_I'm been working hard on this for you, I left you something in the paint room. Please go and see it. Just a reminder before it all ends._

_Love, _  
_Peeta._

Before it all ends linger in my head. What does he mean? I choke and I start coughing. I suddenly find the strength to move. I run out of my room and sprint through the hallways. I bust my way into the room where Peeta paints and I'm shocked straight away at what I see.

My breath catches. I see a young man standing there with blond hair and the most beautiful blue eyes I've ever seen. His smile turns to a frown as soon as he sees me.

"Peeta!" I run to him and hug him tightly. So tight that I can't even breathe and I continue crying.

"Katniss what happened? Did you have a nightmare?" He asks alertly and at the same time, confusingly.

I unwrap myself from him and I continue sobbing. He keeps his hold on me though."What d-do yo-you I had a n-n-n- ni-nightmare! S- s- s- so- someone told m-m e you j-jumped off the stup- stupid t-train!" I stutter and I cry harder, "W-why w-would you sa-say that when n-nothing happened! I-it's not a g-good joke!" I yell angrily at him with tears falling rapidly down my face.

"Katniss…I didn't tell anyone to say that. I just said to put the note in your r-room while I f-fix this…" He mumbles quietly and I can feel that he is a little guilty. "Katniss I'm sorry. I'm sorry." He kisses the top of my head. "I swear, I never told that attendant to say it. He was probably trying to play with you. I swear to God Katniss. I swear to God."

"W-well he wa-wasn't p-pl-playing a ve-very good g-good game!" I choke.

"Katniss…" He rubs my back affectionately and I manage to settle down after a few more minutes.

As Peeta wipes my tears away and dries my face with it.

His already starting to cheer me up. "I didn't have time to go to your room and bring you all the way here you know. I had a lot to set up so I got an attendant to send you a note. I know that at first you wouldn't want to move because you're so tired in walking in all those heels but I told him to do anything it takes to get you here. He scared you I guess. But I learnt something from that, this time, I will call you myself what about that?"

I may have stopped crying but I still have the hiccups. I'm not usually the kind of person that cries but everytime I do, for the past few days, it always as something to do with Peeta. I just don't know anymore, if his not there I cry and go look for him. But why do I need to cry? Maybe…he just means as much to me as Prim does. Because if something ever happened to Prim I know that I would live in isolation for the rest of my life.

"Y-you s-said in you-your note that you- you w-were going to re-remind me somthin-something before it a-all ends." I have a hard time breathing because I keep on choking on my words.

Peeta looks much more worries and rubs my back gentler again while he holds me close.  
"What I meant by that, was before the tour ends. We visit the Capitol tomorrow and then we go home. All the time I'm alone I always try to make something for you. There's nothing in the train really but this painting stuff. So I painted you things so…you know…you wouldn't forget them after the tour ends."

My hiccups settle a bit and I only sniff. I pull away from Peeta and manage a smile.

"Okay," I can only say.

"I need you to close your eyes first. It's in the corner." He says, I never really looked around me when I came in the room bursting in but when he says this my eyes turn to the corner straight away but Peeta blocks me.

"Ah! Close your eyes." Before I close my eyes I take a closer look at Peeta, I even give him a threatening glare as a joke. I realise his cute pajamas as well. His wearing a loose shirt with a cute looking rabbit on it and pink pants. I look at him, up and down.

"Don't mention the pajamas. Just close your eyes." He tells me before I can even open my mouth.  
I do what he says and I close my eyes. "Don't open them okay."

"Yes boss."

He takes my hands and lead me a few meters down to the corner of the room. I walk a bit slow and with more caution. I'm scared I might bump and ruin Peeta's beautiful paintings. As I walk blindly I can hear Peeta chuckling. I'm almost tempted to open my eyes to see what his laughing about but I find that I didn't need to.

"Did you really believe that I would jump off the train?"

"Peeta Shut up. It's not funny." I groan.

"I can't believe that you actually believed that man."

"He was shaking as he spoke okay."

"I would never leave you like that Katniss…" He continues chuckling "…jump off a train, what am I…crazy?" I hear him mumble quietly and I find it quiet funny as well and I chuckle silently.

Why am I so stupid? Peeta wouldn't jump of a train, it's just not like him and I was probably just too busy freaking out that I never really tried to think. If we Peeta would commit suicide, he would leave a letter; not a note. And Peeta would have to be drugged or drunk to be brave enough to jump off a train. I don't think I have the guts to do that as well, to commit suicide, leave without saying goodbye to the people that wait for you to come home safely. Disappoint them and leave them heartbroken for the rest of your life because you killed yourself over…what?

Heartbreak?

Loneliness?

Depression?

Those things can be helped, they can be cured. Killing yourself isn't the answer.

"Can I open them now?" I ask Peeta in eagerness.

"Wait, I'll just put you here." He guides me somewhere in front of him. "Now…open."

I open my eyes and I freeze. I just stare at them, look at them with wonder. It's hard to breath because they're all so beautiful.

"I just didn't want you to forget…" Peeta says silently and his words make an impact on me.

How could I ever forget? The sunset in 4, the sunrise, the woods that I painted, he has me in that orange frock I wore, he even painted my face sleeping, there's a lot of me; me in the dresses I wore in the Districts and I chuckle when I see one with me eating; my plate full of food. All of these paintings are stuck on the wall. In the middle of all those paintings is the five year-old me, with the red dress and my hair braided in two braids instead of one. The dull grey wallpaper is now decorated with Peeta's beautiful pictures.

I turn around slowly to him, my heart overwhelmed with warm emotions and I hug him.

"How could I ever forget these Peeta?" I whisper into his ear.

"You don't know that Katniss."

"Thank you…" I whisper.

"I promise you Katniss, that I won't rest until you're happy. One day Katniss...one day you won't have to live under Snow's rules, you'll be happy to do whatever you want and I will not rest until that happens. I won't until you're happy."

I pull away slightly and he leans his forehead on mine.

"No Peeta...until we're happy..." I correct him. He can't just keep putting me above himself all the time, it just isn't right. Peeta gives me so much and even though I give him so little in return, his always there caring for me.

I guess that's what love does to you, care and love that one person that holds your heart. At the same time...it hurts, but that's love right? Love's a battle that you learn to fight with through time, and if you've passed its test...you get what you deserve. But what does Peeta deserve though?

Me?

No. Peeta deserves something else, he deserves to be happy. Because all his done is make people happy when he isn't happy himself. Why is it so hard for me to love someone like that? Peeta is what every girl wants, why can't I just be one of them? I might just be the key to Peeta's happiness right?

Why is it so hard for me to wake up and realise that I've found the love of my life? But Peeta's found me, and I smile at that thought.

"Well you're smiling. That's a good start." Peeta says with joy. I chuckle at his words.

He takes a breath in, "Until we're happy Katniss..." He repeats my correction.

"Until we're happy." I repeat, I let go of him and look at the paintings again. The sunset is the most beautiful. Peeta mixed the right colors and it's so

breath taking. "You should show the whole world all of this." I gasp.

"No, it's just for you. I'm going to take them home, I don't have space in my house anymore. I was wondering if you wanted them."

"Of course I want them!" I yelp. I take some more time to look and embrace the paintings that Peeta did. They look so real, you wouldn't even believe that wet paint would've created this. It's so beautiful that you just can't help but wanting to boast about it.  
As if Peeta's reading my mind he says, "This is all for you Katniss. If I show the whole world they'll think it's for them as well. But I made it specially for you Katniss."

I smile and continue looking at what I've missed. Another one catches my attention, it was when he made paint for the first time and the moment comes rushing back to me.

_"What are you going to paint?" I ask him._

_"The most beautiful thing in the world."_

I smile at the memory.

_"Peeta, what are you painting?"_

_"I told you, the most beautiful thing in the world."_

_"Can I at least see it?"_

_"When I've finished it." He tells me._

Peeta realises that I'm looking at the painting with me painting the forest.

"I told you it was the most beautiful thing in the world." He says and a warm feeling rushes through me.

"Oh Peeta." I say quietly.

"Katniss, tomorrow I'm proposing. I just really want to show you this now because these things were real. Something has to be real. And that was our friendship. You're the bestest friend ever Katniss. Before we fake another scenario of love and say that we're engaged...please never forget that these things were real for me."

Peeta's way with words never fail, not even at the slightest. Me, however, aren't very good with words. I just listen to him speak and hope that I don't disappoint him by staying quiet. I turn around to look at him again, he stands there smiling at me. His smiles sends a warm rush through me, it brightens me up.

We just stare at each other, trying to read each other's thoughts but I can't help it. I attack his lip with a deep kiss and he kisses with as much passion. He holds me tight and steady and I hold his face with my hands. Our kiss gets deeper and Peeta groans.

Peeta starts shuffling his feet and I follow. Next thing I know he's picked me up by my thighs and i lock my legs around his hips. He walks a few more steps and he drops me in a some kind of table. Both my legs are in each side of his hips. We kiss becomes much more deeper than it already is, I didn't think it was possible but it is.

We kiss for some more minutes until I break it to catch some breath. I open my eyes and Peeta's blue ones meet mine. As I catch my breath Peeta moves his lips in my neck. I let him, why shouldn't I? His lips feel nice anyway. I could see now that Peeta has hoisted me up on a table and he stands.

Peeta kisses me on the lips again for a few more minutes until I stop him.

"Thank you for the paintings Peeta." I say breathlessly.

I see him smile and his blue eyes shine.

"Something has to be real right?" He says.

"Of course." I reply and I give him another quick kiss and then I jump off the table.

"I'll pack these up tomorrow." Peeta says when were giving them another last look. "Come on. Let's go to bed." He continues and I continue to stare at paintings, it's not until Peeta gives my hand a tug and he suddenly turns the lights off that I start to actually move.

Our walk back to bed was quiet and before we fall asleep I say something, "It wasn't just real for you Peeta you know. It was for me too, when it is real it's special for me. No one makes me feel special the way you do Peeta." I can't believe I found the bravery to say something like that.

He doesn't say anything though. Maybe his just shocked so I just get comfortable with him and close my eyes to sleep.  
Something has to be real. And a lot of those paintings were.

* * *

_Please leave me what you think guys. Guest or no guest. Just tell me what I did wrong. Knowing your mistakes is the best way to learn._

_Thanks for your time on reading this chapter guys. _

_Stay tuned until the next update of this story. And no, just because I titled this chapter the same as the title of the story doesn't mean it's over yet._

_STAY TUNED! :)_

_Oh, and tell me how you felt about Peeta being alive. How it made you fell and all. You know? :p_

__RestlessIdeas


	13. Will You Marry Me

_Oh my gosh I finally updated! Yay! Sorry for making you guys wait a few days. Thank you so much for the reviews as well. Hopefully I got to reply to all of you, except for the guest viewers who don't have an account of course._

_Please enjoy this guys and it might take like 4 days for the next chapter. Stay in tune though._

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN THE HUNGER GAMES**

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**CHAPTER THIRTEEN: WILL YOU MARRY ME? **

Peeta and I wake up nice and early where that sun's head has just shown up. When I decide to turn around to face Peeta I can't because our legs are tangled. So I untangle them and as I make a turn Peeta's eyes have just opened.

"Morning." I whisper.

"Morning Katniss." He yawns and stretches his hands. Well what do you want to do today Katniss? Our last day of...um...freedom? I guess."

"Freedom?" I ask him, "Well I wound't call it freedom. We're never free...maybe...I don't know... normality." I laugh at my silly words.

"Well whatever we want to call it. What do you want to do?" He repeats.

I shrug, "What do you want to do?"

"Hm, well I want to spend the day with you. We could eat at out sunrise place for the last time. " He suggests, "It's a start."

"Okay, let's go." We get out of bed and go out to the kitchen to do order. The person that assists us was the man from last night. My eyes were foggy when last night but I can still make out some features of his face. And his face is extremely familiar. As soon as he walks towards us I glare at him.

Peeta seems calm, I don't think he has recognized the man yet. I realise that when he saw me he doesn't look very relax. He looks at Peeta and then at me exchanging looks at us every now and then. I keep giving the scariest look I can muster.

"H-hi, what would you like for this morning?" He asks nicely.

"Alright, I was thinking about those pancakes, get us 8 pieces maybe, I would like chocolate milk. Katniss, do you want hot chocolate?"

"Yes please," I say keeping my gaze at this man who would even think of playing a joke like that with me.

"Um, okay. 8 pancakes, 2 hot chocolate, probably a few toasts of bread, make sure you put enough syrup in there. Um...Katniss you want to add anything?" Peeta asks me.

"No. That would be fine." I say sternly.

"Alright, that would be it." Peeta confirms.

"Thank you sir. Your order will be there in just a few minutes." I see him swallow and quickly strides away.

"Katniss...what was that about?"

"Don't you recognize him?" I ask Peeta as we take our seat.

"Yes, Katniss I do. I want to tell him off but if anyone sees he'll probably get punished much more severely."

"His not an avox though. He just works for the Capitol." I say casually.

"Katniss be nice." He lets out.

I nod an okay but I'm making no promises.

"Come one let's look out the window while we wait." He takes my hand and we walk a few steps to the window opposing the dinner table.

"There's nothing to see Peeta." I say when all we pass are trees and bushes. I love the woods and the forest and everything but the train moves to fast to be able to see anything.

"Yes there is. Look." Peeta says behind me and he randomly points to an area. See, there's a tree there oh and we passed another one." He says.

"Are you trying to joke around with me?" I tell him.

"Oh no Katniss you missed the bush!" he whines.

"Don't play games with me Peeta." I say bouncily.

"The sun is halfway to lighting up the sky." He mumbles.

"I can see that."

He yawns, "I'm still tired."

We hear someone say that our order is ready and we pick it up. It wasn't the man who gave us our food, he's probably hiding somewhere. Peeta and I walk down the hall to our little area. We set are food down at the wall. Peeta and I sit with the trays between us and we lean on the wall. I start on my hot chocolate and Peeta starts on the pancake.

"Hey! Wait for me!"

"I'll save you some anyway Katniss."

"Just don't eat too fast to be able to get a second one alright."

"Yes ma'am."

When I get cracking on the pancakes Peeta is already on his third one. Peeta ordered eight so that means that we get four each. But as soon as I take a bit on mine I don't just want to have four I want all of them.

We continue eating and when Peeta has finished his fourth pancake he gives me a knowing look.  
"Katnis-"

"No." I say without thinking.

"Bu-"

"No!"

"Katniss I jus-"

"N-O. No."

"I was just th-"

"Nope."

"Pl-"

"N-noooo..." I linger.

Peeta shuffles closer to me and I stop eating and scowl at him.

"I guess there's no need for me to stay then. I''ve eaten my breakfast already." He says with a shrug and he starts getting up.

"What are you saying?" I ask suddenly.

"I'm done with my breakfast, I'll see you later Katniss."

"Are you serious."

"Uh, yeah...pretty much." He says as he makes a stand. He turns and starts walking away.

"Wait!" I stop him.

He turns around, a smile on his face. "Uh...you forgot your tray." I say and his smile drops.

"Oh, yeah. Alright." He mutters.  
I watch him turn and he grabs his tray hesitantly. I give him a quirky smile and keep nibbling on my pancake.

"Can I have one before I go?"

"Absolutely not." I say and shake my head at every syllable.

"No. Right here." He leans his head and turn his right cheek to me and taps it with his finger.

Peeta's move was too fast. After I roll my eyes and as soon as my lips touch his cheek he grabs the plate of pancakes off my hands and make a run for it.

"Peeta!" I yell at him and jump up and start chasing. He runs into the hallways and he takes a pancake off the plate and he brings his head right up until his facing the wall and drop the pancake to his mouth. I was expecting him to run into a door or something but I shouldn't have kept my hopes up.

"Peet get back here!" I charge at him and I don't see it when he stops and turns around. I run into him but he has mananged to stand steady even with his artificial leg.

"I'm just joking with you. I only wanted one, you can have the rest." Peeta says sounding as kind as he can but I don't buy it. I forgive him though and snatch my plate.

"Can we share them?" He asks.

I give him a death glare and all he can do is smile. I give in into his innocent look.

"Alright, let's go back then."

I hear Peeta yell a triumphant yes and I smile. It's just adorable how he does things like these.

We sit back down and I give Peeta one of the two pancakes left.

Peeta and I take our time on eating the pancakes moaning every now and then because it's just so delicious. Peeta and I walk back and give our trays to the attendants and I see the man again and I look at him evilly. Peeta and I separate when we're at my bedroom door because he says he needs to get ready in his room and his going to pack the paintings somehow.

So I get ready in my room and I head straight to Peeta's but his not there and I decide to check the paint room.

As I walk down the hallway I can see that the door to the paint room and the door is opened very slightly. Just a tiny crack and through that crack I can Peeta talking.

Probably talking to himself. But when I'm about to open the door widely I hear Haymitch inside.

"Nice paintings. You actually make Katniss look good in these. Without the scowling and you know what," I hear croak and I roll my eyes.

"Katniss looks fine when she smiles," Peeta mutters.

"To you anyway...so, big day today. I'll make you pick the ring just before we go."

"Haymitc-"

"I don't want to argue about this Peeta. But I just want to let you know that if I were you I would probably try to kill me for coming up with such an idea. But the thing is, I'm not."

I shake my head. Typical Haymitch.

"What does Katniss say to you about this."

"Well, she doesn't hate you for it. She's getting there, she'll learn to accept it. Don't worry." Haymitch reassures Peeta.  
I'm getting there.

"Hm...I don't know..." Peeta says doubtfully.

"Now that sounds like someone who has given up." Haymitch says absent-mindedly.

"I have given up..." He says quietly.

There's a pause.

"On Katniss?"

He chuckles, "I gave up a long time ago. I have no hope left, all I want to do is just protect her, care for her, love her and stay strong for her. She's her own person, she can do what ever she wants."

Haymitch laughs, "After...how many years? 12 years? You have finally given up. 12 years, wow."

"Must be a record." Peeta sighs.

"You don't look like you've given up though. Maybe you just think you are."

"Can you please pass me another box Haymitch."

"Fine," I hear him shuffle around and they start talking again.

"Do you think it was all worth it Haymitch? That everyone will be safe after this?"

"I'm pretty sure, we'll just have to wait and see right? You know Peeta, I believe in you. I really do."

"What do you mean Haymitch?"

"Katniss just doesn't want to let you through but you know what? I bet my beard she won't be able to let you go."

"Okay, what did you drink Haymitch?"

"Just wine. But I bet you that's true."

"All we've done is cry and fight Haymitch. All throughout the tour, one time we're happy the next she's yelling at me and then after that we're arguing."

"See, you're already acting like a married couple."

That's very funny Haymitch.

"Very funny Haymitch." Peeta reads my mind.

"But Peeta, fighting...it's just part of it. Well it was better with you two just being acquaintances and not being comfortable with each other, plus, you weren't fighting all the time. But that wouldn't be fair on you anyway. And I understand that both of you are confused, I mean, its doing Katniss' head in. But the important thing is that you both have each other. You two will figure it out soon." Haymitch explains.

"Thanks Haymitch."

"I don't believe that you've given up on Katniss Peeta. You're a lover and a fighter. After 12 years it's impossible."

"You can say whatever you want Haymitch but I told you, I've lost hope."

"Where there's love there's always hope Peeta. Remember that, the heart chooses...not the mind."

"And suddenly you've become a wise man."

"Hey, you're lucky you're getting this kind of talk. This is one side of me that you don't see everyday you know."

"You probably drank the 'Wise Man Wine' or something."

"Peeta I don't get it. That's not funny."

"It wasn't meant to be funny."

There's a pause.

"You actually make Katniss look better in these paintings. How do you do it Peeta?" Haymitch breaks in.

"Well that's how I see Katniss. You're probably looking at her from a different angle."

"Has Katniss seen these yet?"

"Yeah she has," Peeta says sounding tired.

"What are you planning to do with these?"

"They were my gift to Katniss; she can choose whatever she wants to do with them."

"She might burn it..." Haymitch says.

Even though it's a joke I grit my teeth at his comment.

"I'm just joking Peeta. She wouldn't do that. But then aga-"

"Haymitch!" Peeta interrupts him, "Don't say that."

"Don't believe me. Anyway, I just came here to talk to you about that ring. Meet me in my room before you get out and we're escorted to the Capitol's streets."

Haymitch says and I can hear him make a stand. I don't back away but I just open the door. Acting surprised that Haymitch is there and look like I just came.

"Oh! Good morning sweetheart. Big day today," Haymitch makes his way to the door.

"What are you doing here?" I ask as innocently as I can and Haymitch glares at me then leaves.

"He was just talking to me about this afternoon." Peeta answers my question and shoves another painting in a box.

"Careful! I don't want any of them getting scratched."

"Just out of confusion, what are you going to do with these?"

"Well I'm thinking about putting the landscaped ones around the house. And the ones with me, I'll keep them hidden so only I can see them. They're going to be the special ones." I say nicely.

He smiles and continues packing them away. I start packing some myself. When I pick up the one with the stars I smile wildly like an idiot.

"I love them Peeta. All of it."

"I spent so much times doing those. You might now know but I do them at night. Like, when you're sleeping. I get out and paint for an hour or two and come back again." He catches my attention. I've never realized. Not once. I haven't even acknowledged it in any way.

"What?"

"I did. I might as well tell you."

"Peeta..."

He puts a finger to his lips, a sign for silence, he walks towards me.

"Just accept it alright,"He wraps his arms around me and I accept his kiss.

We pack the last couple of paintings and Peeta tells me that he will be in charge to put them out. We leave the room and decide to sit in the living are. With couches and a TV. We just watch the same old Capitol headlines and some recap of our tour in District 1 (where we're kissing and dancing).

The last thing Claudius Templesmith says is a reminder, "In just a few hours' time we're going to be having Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark in the Capitol for a celebration. Make sure you keep your ears in tune and televisions ready for another interview by my friend; Caesar Flickerman."

Tonight. When we're having our interview. That's when. I can't help but feel nervous, I don't know why.

"You scared?" I hear Peeta ask me.

I give him a silent nod. He arms go around me, "It's going to be okay. It won't take a lot of convincing, trust me. The Capitol is very gullible."

"Yeah but President Snow isn't." I say.

Peeta holds me tighter. We sit there, cuddled up together and watching the TV. Eventually I get bored so I just my gaze from the TV to Peeta.

"Peeta?"

"Yeah…"

"When we get home…do you think…well…do all married couples move in together?" I ask out of confusion.

Peeta's eyes immediately turns to meet mine with an unreadable expression on his face. I suddenly feel embarrassed for asking that question.

"Uh…well…um…it- it- it depends whe-whether or not they um…want to."

"Oh." I say in understanding. "Should we?" I continue.

And again he puts on an expression. But a much readable one. I can see that his shocked. Very shocked.

"What?"

I sigh, "Should me move in together?"

His speechless, I can't figure out why. "Do you feel comfortable with it?" He says without stuttering.

"I don't see a problem, I mean; we have to continue the act even if we're still home right. Even if we've succeeded." I explain.

"Uh- I-I- guess so. A-are you act-actually telling me that w-we're mo-moving in together?"

"Yes." I say loudly to make him sure of it.

"Uh…okay." He says smiling.

"Your house or mine?" I ask quickly.

He snaps his head again, "What!" He lets out.

"Your house or mine…" I say a bit slower.

"Um…w-well, you have Prim and your mo-"

I cut him off, "So it's your house then."

"S-sure. My house." He says.

I take a closer look at him, Peeta seems weirded out by me making the idea of moving in together.

"So…are you actually serious Katniss?" He asks me.

I look at him impatiently, "Yes, of course. If you don't want to then we don't have t-"

"No! I-I- I would love to." He interrupts.

Before I can say anything I hear the familiar sound of Effie's heels coming our way and I look at her.

"Good news! We're arriving 30 minutes early today. Cinna and Portia are waiting for the both of you." Effie says excitedly.

Peeta and I share a look. I see him swallow and I give him a smile.

"I'll see you afterwards." Peeta mumbles.

"Yep." I say and we separate.

I meet up with my prep team first and they get going with my make-up. Cinna is probably getting my dress ready.

"We're going to make you extra special today Katniss." Venia says and I smile at her. They don't know what's going to happen tonight. Their reaction will be an extra bonus I guess.

They finish with my make up and start on my hair. They start brushing and when I think that it's enough they don't stop.

"What are you going to do with my hair?" I ask them.

"Cinna just wants us to keep it simple. He wants it down and natural." Octavia explains, "So it's just you." Octavia adds.

"But we chose to add hairclips in." Venia says.

"Oh yeah, speaking of hairclips. Where was the hairclip that Cinna told us to put on her." Flavius says.

"What hairclip?" I ask suddenly.

"It's in the case." Octavia says.

I watch Venia take a case from their make up box and when she takes the hairclip from the small case I get a warm rush through me.

It's the hairclip that Peeta picked up. The one that I dropped all those years ago.

"Here we go, it doesn't look very pretty but its okay. Cinna knows what his doing." Octavia says and I ignore her comment. I just stare adoringly at the hairclip and my smile widens. I can't wait to wear it.

"Katniss? Do you…recognize this hairclip?" I hear Venia ask and I see Flavius elbow her.

"Oh right! This is yours!" Venia says like surprised.

"Remember what Cinna told us." Flavius reminds both those girls. I just watch them chatter but not bothering to listen attentively.

"Can you guys just!" I snap, "Shut it!"

The three of them share looks, "Sorry Katniss." They say.

"It's fine, you guys were just getting carried away. That's why I thought I should just step in. I mean, we don't want Effie getting angry about being behind schedule."

I say to them.

They share a look, "No, of course not." Venia says and Octavia continues brushing my hair. In the end Flavius puts the hairclip on my hair, pulling it back on the side.

"Done." Flavius said and we wait for a few minutes until Cinna walks in the room. A white dress in his hand.

"Alright guys, my turn." Cinna says and my prep team makes a stand to leave.

"Stand for me." He says and I do.

He holds the dress in front of me then starts looking back and forth between me and the dress. "This will look amazing on you. Now for tonight, I want to make you look like a 17 year-old girl. A teenager, because that's what you are. So tonight your dress won't be too long, just above your kness. Strapless, with a black sash." He explains and I listen, "Now your heels, I'm very happy to say that it won't be too high. I think you've had enough of high heels."

I smile, thank God. Cinna has made things a bit easier tonight. No more high heels to dance in and walk around with. Cinna smiles back then his eyes gaze on my hair, where the hairclip lays, I think.

"It was the middle of the night..." Cinna starts and he moves around the room and takes a seat. I stand there in confusion.

"Peeta was in the room where he paints. I asked him what he was doing up at this time of the night and he told that he was just painting. Then I see the hairclip pegged to one canvas with a beautiful painting of a sunset. It was so beautiful I tell you that I wanted to keep it. I asked him about the hairclip and I'm guessing you know about it too." He continues. I nod and take a seat back down on my chair. I touch the hairclip lightly.

How could one small thing make such an effect on a person?

"Are you nervous for tonight Katniss?" Cinna asks me.

"Well I'm feeling a little tense. It's our last chance and I don't want to ruin it." I answer.

"Peeta can't even think. He is the one that's proposing, he needs a whole speech figured out."

I nod to in acknowledgement. I can't make the effort to relax.

"What id it's too obvious Cinna? What i-"

"Ah!" Cinna puts a stop to my words. "Don't stress yourself out. You'll be fine, now go put on teh dress for me."

I follow Cinna's instructions and go change. When I get out of the change room Cinna smiles adoringly at me.

"Now there we go. Just a 17 year-old girl, she never left did she?" Cinna says and I smile, "Twirl for me." I do and I feel myself relaxing a little. "Okay let's put the heels on."

"Thanks for not making them high Cinna." I say as I pick the shoes up.

"No worries."

We sit and chat for a few minutes until Effie calls us.

"You look beautiful Katniss!" Effie chants.

"Thank you Effie."

"Alright you go and sit down while we wait for Peeta and possibly Haymitch. I'm not afraid to leave that old rag behind." She exclaims. I do as she says and Cinna and my prep team stay with me.

After a while Peeta and Haymitch show up, along with his prep team. He looks so strikingly handosme with his grey suit, his hacket sleeve folded up 3 quarters of the way, he has no tie on but a grey V-neck and his hair has been straightened and spiked up. Just like me, Cinna and Portia made us look young and actual 17 year-olds.

He smiles widely when he sees me and I do to.

We all make a stand as the train is ready to stop. Peeta walks to me and smiles as if he hasn't seen me in forever.

"You look beautiful." He says meaningfully.

"You do too," I say and he twirls me around lookingme up and down.

"I like it Cinna." Peeta says to him as he embraces me.

I hear Cinna chuckle, "It was specially for you, sadly it wasn't orange."

"No, it's better white." he says and kisses the top of my head.  
Haymitch gives Peeta an ecouraging pat on the back as we let go of each other.

"Okay...guys get ready." Effie says.

Peeta and I watch the Capitol buildings slowly emerge through the window. This reminds me of when we were going to be taken to the Capitol for The Hinger Games. I look at where we are now and it feels like the end.

An end.

An ending of some sort. Well it is our last day of touring and our one last chance. I guess that's why it feels like after this we're on our own. In a way it feels like that.

When we reach the long, dark tunnel Peeta holds my hand and give it a squeeze. As soon as we reach the end of the tunnel and end up at the station there are hundreds of people cheering for us as the train comes to a stop.

We get escorted by peacekeepers as we get out of the train and the station to our car. We don't have to make a big speech today so we're taken straight to the building very close to the Training Centre.

This building is probably where we're going to meet some special guests, eat dinner and do some dancing. It looks like a huge building from the outside, we're probably going to have our interview here as well.

"We don't have to try and convince anyone here but Snow Katniss. Forget about the me saying the Capitol being gullible, just keep the act up for the cameras." Peeta whispers in my as we get ready to pull over.

I nod to his explanation.

"Relax." He whispers one more time.

As I look out the window I see a lot of people, camera mans, photographers, you name it. They are all standing in either side of the pathway that leads to the front doors. It's a pretty long pathway, you can call it an aisle.

"Katniss and Peeta, all you have to do is talk to some reporters, answer their questions and try talking to some of your fans." Effie tells us from the front seat. "I might have told you this but we're staying for a few days, it's a last minute thing. You have a lot of presses, interviews and people that have tone acknowledge. 2 days has been changed to 3." She continues to explain.

I don't get it. I don't get the fact that people love us because we nearly died and that we even killed. People in the Districts might've pretended that they were happy with us they really don't. All they wanted was their tribute to come home safe and sound, especially their families.

But in the Capitol, they don't put their children in a TV show and watch them get killed by another innocent child who just wants to go home and be safe in their families arms.

Is there not one person here who is actually human? Who feels like a human? Who has a heart?

Are they all just monsters thirsty for blood?

As I look at their smiling faces and hear their cheers I can't help but feel sick.

I look at Peeta.

"Just for the cameras." He mouths to me then kisses my forehead.

"Let's go." Haymitch mutters and I open the door. The flashing lights blind me a little and Peeta offers me his arm for support straight away. We greet a few of crazy people thirsty for out touch. We get photos taken.

We kiss, we don't let go of each other and they love it. We make make ourselves look as happy as we can and look like we enjoy it. Even our prep team gets asked about Peeta and I's love life. Somewhere along Octavia's line I swear I heard the word flexible.

We see a few cars pull over as well and other guests get out to join us. I see Haymitch shake hands with one of them.

"So Peeta and Katniss, how are you dealing with all the Victory Tour pressure?" A reporter with green hair and yellow eyebrows ask us when we reach him.

"Well, it's definitely not something that you can get used to and I didn't really feel pressured by it. Especially when you have someone like Katniss to keep you sane."

Peeta answers. He smiles at me and I do the same thing to him.

"Katniss?" The reporter says.

"The tour was a bit heavy and it was hard look at the faces of those children that died. You can't help but feel responsible. Peeta and I managed everyday and we try our best to pay as much respect to their children that died in the Games." I say.

"Hm. Now I heard some rumors while you were in the middle of your tour that you, Katniss, us quite a flexible person." The reporter says with a wink.

My face turns red, as red as it can manage.

"Oh. Um..." I don't know what to say. I feel Peeta's arm around my waist tighten.

"She's very flexible. It wasn't very hard with her at all. She controlled the whole thin-" I slap Peeta's chest hard and look at him in surprise and the reporter laughs.

Even though it's all I lie, you feel uncomfortable being spoken about that way.

"Peeta!" I exclaim, my face must be as red as a tomato right now.

The reporter continues guffawing.

"Why would you say that?" I say harshly.

"What? There's no point hiding it, they might all know our secrets. They just need us to confirm the rumors." Peeta mumbles quietly to me but making sure that the mic can catch what he said.

"Well thank you for having us." I dismiss our interview and Peeta and I continue moving forward.

We manage to make it more than halfway and we get closer to the entrance of the building.

We get asked the same questions a few times and everytime Peeta gives me a quick kiss, people that saw go mad.

They're feral. All of them.

* * *

Peeta and I join in the first dance of the night before we eat dinner. A lot of the people here in the Capitol watches us with our every move. And they look at us in wonder and excitement. I don't try to let them bother and I just dance with Peeta. He steps on my foot a lot more than he did last time.

"What's wrong Peeta?" I ask worriedly.

"It's just my leg, it's a bit sore." He says. It must be his artificial one.

"Let's take a seat." I say and all he can do is nod.

We sit in a seat enough for just the both of us. Peeta sits comfortably and he lets out a sigh.

"That's better." He says as soon as he sat down.

We sit and talk about his leg for a while until I get hungry and want to eat.

"I'll get us food Peeta. You shoudln't walk on your leg while it's sore." I say.

"Bu-"

"No." I interrupt him.

His mouth closes and I go to the buffet. I decide to get just one plate and fill it with tons of food for the both of us. I manage to move quick enough without anybody

trying to make a conversation with me. I walk back steadily to where Peeta sits.

I sit down and balance the plate in between our laps.

Why did you just get one plate?" Peeta asks me.

"It would have been easier to carry." I explain and hand him his spoon. We start eating, fighting over some pieces of food during that process.

I don't make it halfway until I get full so as usual, Peeta ends up eating all of the food.

"Are you two ready?" Haymitch asks us backstage of where were going to have our interview.

We hear the crowds cheers and Peeta and I look at their direction. I take a breath in.  
Last chance. You love Peeta. You love him. Last chance.

"Yep." I say.

"Y-yes." Peeta fumbles out.

"Just act clamly and everything will go just as smooth." Haymitch says encouraginly.

"Ladies and Gentlemen! The victors of the 74th Hunger Games! Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark!" We hear Caesar Flickerman's voice boom through the speakers.

"That's you call. Go get them." Haymitch says quietly and before we make a step Effie suddenly appears out of nowhere and gives us an encouraging cheer.

Peeta talks my hand as we walk to the stage. I put the happiest smile I can make. We enter the stage and the crowd has already been warmed up; screaming and cheering our names. Bright lights hitting my eyes and I wince just a little bit. A seat big enough for Peeta and I , like the one we were seating on a while ago.

We take a seat after Peeta's shaked hands with Caesar and I have given him a hug.

"Wow. Welcome back." Caesar says.

"Thank you." I say.

"We're very happy to be here." Peeta continues for me.

"Of course of course. How was the tour?" He asks us.

"It was a bit um...nerve racking to be honest." Peeta says.

"I have to agree. You can't help but feel guilty." I say and hopefully these people understand what Peeta and I are talking about.

I think Caesar get's it though. "Oh yes. After all they are just children."

"Yes they are." Peeta nods.

Caesar leads us through the interview nice and smooth about the tour and more about our feeling towards it.

After that, we talk about all these rumours that they've heard in the Capitol.

"Now, a few of us here have heard about your little sleeping arrangements." Caesar says raising his eyebrows.

Peeta and I look at each other and try to look us umcomfortable about the question as we can.

"All I want to ask you is whether they're all real or not. So, are they?" Caesar asks us excitedly.

I keep my head on my lap. "Uh- it um, d-depends on wh-what you have heard." Peeta says and the crowd laughs.

"Let me think, well...does Peeta sneak in at night?"

Peeta doesn't say anything.

"Katniss?" Caesar now directs the question at me.

"I- I don't feel comfortable with this." I say quietly, this time picking my head up to look at Caesar.

"Let's just assume that they're all real." Caesar says with a laugh and I blush. "Well now that the tour is done. Peeta, what should we expect from you and Katniss?

What are you two planning beofore the Games start again?"

I take a silent breath in and look at Peeta with a questioning look on my face.

"Well...uh...I..um..." Peeta stutters then looks at me. "Katniss...um..." He looks at Caesar again and he lets out a very nervous laugh.

What's wrong? Come on Peeta you can do this.

I just put on a confused look mixed with worry.

Peeta looks at me again in happiness then slowly he moves to get on the floor. Once the people understand what his trying to do they scream in excitement. For me,

I'm frozen. Not an expression on my face.

"Katniss..." He starts saying again once he gets on one knee. "Katniss I love you. I have loved you since the first time I saw you and-" He swallows, "A-and I haven't been able to stop ever since."

For some reason, I smile at him and feel a little teary.

"I don't think I can ever stop though. And now that I have you, I want to keep you forever. I know it sounds a little selfish but...I can't help it. K-Katniss Everdeen will you marry me?" The crowd goes wild and they answer the question before I can. I smile wider and I'm lost for words. I shouln't be but I actaully am.

"Y-yes." I mumble quietly.

"Really?" Peeta asks.

"Yes." A bit more louder and he stands in excitement. I do to and he kisses me. The crowd loves it. They're crazy for more. I hear Caesar laughing happily behind Peeta.

When Peeta and I break he takes the ring out of his inside pocket. It's a dazzling diamond ring, he takes my hand and put the ting in my ring finger.

"I love you," he says much more quieter. He looks at me and I do too. It's one of those moments where he just lets those 3 words slip. I don't think anyone else heard but him. I look into his eyes and I offer him a small smile.

I give him another quick kiss and we share a tight hug.

Caesar wraps up our interview by congratulating us and before we leave Snow makes a surprise appearance.

As soon as I see him we look at each other. I put on a questioning look, a look of desperation. Was it enough? Was everything worth it? Was giving our future away worth it.

A slight disapproving nod of his head tells me it wasn't. At that movement I lose all hope. I feel like I've been crushed into a million pieces.  
Instead of doing the opposite I just smile at him. Looking excited at his appearance. He congratulates Peeta and I and make a joke about getting married before I'm 30. I just go with it because what's the point. I better just keep up the act right?

When we make it backstage Effie runs to us straight away. Tissue in hand, wiping away all her tears. Everyone else follows behind her.

"That was..." Eddie sniffs. "Extremely breathtaking. Peeta, I am so proud of you honey. And I am do touched by the way you showed everyone how you just love

Katniss." She starts sobbing and Peeta tries to calm him down.

Portia leads Effie aside while everyone else congratulates us.

"That was so beautiful!" Flavius comments.

"Way to go Peeta!" Cinna gives him a pat on the back.

Haymitch says nothing but smile at us. I give him that look; the disappointing nod that Snow gave me and his smile drops a little. Then straight away Octavia and Venia start talking about what I should look like on my wedding.

"We could be bridesmaids!" They cackle. I don't really know what a bridesmaids is but I have heard of the word.

After Effie have wiped away all her tears she gathers us all to say goodbye and get ready to leave. We're going back to sleep in our old Training Centre quarters for the next couple of nights.

I feel numb for the rest of the nights. I don't feel very relaxed or tensed either. I can't even acknowledge the people I'm saying goodbye to. I just cling onto Peeta's arm and follow what his doing.

When we get out of the building and into the car Peeta realizes my silence.

"Are you okay?" He asks me.

I can't tell him now. Not in front of all these people. I don't even know how to tell him. I don't know if I can. I don't know what to do anymore.

I don't say anything, I just nod. But Peeta's not stupid though, he can tell if something's wrong. He takes hold of my hand and sits closer. I look at our hands sprawled on my lap. I look at the ring, it wasn't worth it. I can just hope that those people in the districts feel for it. But I doubt that.

Peeta runs his thumb on the ring. I have a plan, we could just run away, take our families with us and live in the woods. Sounds easy.

I sigh and let my head fall on Peeta's shoulder. Sweet poor innocent Peeta. He doesn't deserve any of this. I get worried at the thought of what Snow will do to Peeta. I don't want him getting hurt, I don't want anyone getting hurt.

I smile as Peeta runs his thumb over the ring. It fits perfectly, I can't help but think that our hands fit perfectly too.

"They fit nicely don't they?" I say.

"Hm? You ring?" Peeta sounds confused.

"No, our hands." I mutter.

"Oh. Well, yeah...I-I guess so."

The rest of the ride to the Training Centre, where were going to spend the next couple of nights, is quiet.

* * *

"Tonight, we sleep in our own rooms." Effie says while we sit in the living room after we've just watch our interview.

Peeta and I don't say anything because I know that no matter what Effie says we won't follow anyway.

"I'm tired. I'm heading to bed." I say and make a stand. I walk away before they can comment. I didn't even bother looking at Peeta.

I get changed for bed and I just climb in. I don't try to put much thought to what's happened today. I just get under the covers and close my eyes, hopefully I fall asleep fast.

But I don't though, my eyes are closed but I'm still up. I'm still awake until Peeta comes in and I keep my eyes closed to convince him. He joins me under the covers and automatically I snuggle close to him. His arms go around me and i hear let out a satisfied sigh.

"Peeta?" I say into his chest.

"Go back to sleep Katniss." Is all he can say.

"Did Snow say anything to you after the interview?" I mumble quietly.

"No, why?"

I stay silent for a few seconds.

"Nothing, I was just wondering." I say and I lift my head higher in the pillow and my face burrows in his neck.

"You looked so beautiful tonight." Peeta comments.

"You didn't look bad yourself." I say.

"Where'd you put the hair clip?"

"It's in the bathroom."

"We're going to be a happy married couple aren't we Katniss?"

I take time to think of what I should answer. "Of course we are."

"Goodnight Katniss."

"Goodbye Peeta."

* * *

_That was long. Hopefully you guys are satisfied. Please leave me what you think and stay in tune for the next chapter._

_Please Please review._

_Thanks for reading. Stay tuned._

RestlessIdeas


	14. My Superhero

_Finally I uploaded! Sorry for making you wait 1 or 2 days for this, I had a lot of homework and Facebook kept getting in the way. I'm trying to get this done for you guys because I love you so much. I've been replying to most of the reviewers and I can't reply to the Guest reviewers because they don't have an account but I just want to say thank you to them as well. _

_Enjoy this chapter guys. _

_I apologize for any grammar errors or spelling mistakes._

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN THE HUNGER GAMES**

* * *

_**CHAPTER FOURTEEN: MY SUPERHERO**_

The rest of our days in the Capitol are spent going on presses and being asked the same questions about our engagement, the tour, our future and our love for each other. After our 3 days we finally board the train late at night and find out that we have 2 days of travelling.

As soon as Peeta and I get in my room inside the train I take my heels off and fall into bed as I am.

"Katniss." Peeta says at my behavior. "Come on, get up and get ready for bed."

I whine and close my eyes. Peeta helps me sit up but I just lean on him. I just really want to sleep right now. He starts taking the hairclips out of my hair and all the lucky bands. He does it nice and smoothly. He doesn't pull my hair too hard, his very gentle.

"Stay here." He says and gets up to go somewhere. I balance myself to stay sitting up while Peeta goes and gets whatever his going to get. I can't keep myself up so I end up falling on the bed again.

When I hear Peeta again he sighs, picks me back up and suddenly I feel him brushing my hair. I manage a smile even though I'm tired as I am.

"Peeta, you don't have to." I mumble almost inaudibly.

"Well you won't do it yourself." He says.

I open my eyes slowly and blink a few times to try to wake up. I manage to dim my tiredness a little bit and I sit up straight instead of leaning on Peeta. He stops brushing when I move.

"I don't really care about my hair being brushed when I'm about to sleep. I just need to get changed alright." I say and yawn.

"Alright then, you can change and I'll take a shower." He mumbles says. He stands up and I see him enter my bathroom. "Peeta, you don't have a change of clothes."

He sighs then walks to my wardrobe; he grabs a shirt that looks like his size, underwear and some shorts. "I do now." He says and goes inside the bathroom. After that, I don't do anything. I just sit there tiredly trying to wake up. I manage to get up and I stumble slowly to my wardrobe. I try to open my eyes wider to be able to see what I'm looking for. I pull out a shirt, any shirt and it drops to the floor. I grumble and pick it up. I move so slowly that I think I've spent at least three minutes trying to pick it up and throwing it on the bed.

I reach for my back to try and unzip my dress but I can't reach it. I try harder but I still can't feel the zipper. But suddenly I feel his hand.

"I'll get it." Peeta says and I feel my dress loosen and hear the sound of the zip coming down the line.

"I'll turn away now Katniss…" He mumbles and I hear his feet shuffle. I take my dress down and continue to change for bed. I drop the dress and leave it on the floor and put my shirt on. I look sleepily into the wardrobe for some pajama pants. I put a yellow one on and crash land myself into the bed.

"Katniss…" Peeta scolds. I ignore his comment and go under the covers.

Peeta turns off the lights and soon joins me into bed. When Peeta hold me I can feel his bare chest against my thin shirt.

"Peeta why are you not wearing your shirt?" I ask tiredly.

"Because it's too hot." He answers.

"Mmhm…" I grumble.

"What? Does it bother you?" He asks.

"Sometimes it makes me feel uncomfortable."

"How?" He asks confusingly.

"It's like me sleeping in nothing but underwear." I explain and turn around to burrow my head in his chest. And I hear that familiar beating of his heart that I haven't heard in a while. The beating of his heart, sometimes I look at it as my lullaby. A steady beat that will send me to sleep. I start drifting off to sleep when Peeta asks a sudden question.

"Should I go and out a shirt on then?"

"N-no. I'm fine with that. Your skin's soft, I have no problem laying on in or anything." I mumble sleepily.

"Katniss…do you think Gale is mad about out engagement?"

I haven't thought of that. Of what Gale would be thinking? Now that it crossed my mind I put an answer to question. Yes, Gale will definitely be unhappy about this.

What made Peeta ask this question though? What is he afraid of? I he scared that Gale might do something to him? The last time I checked I wasn't any of these boys' property, I'm my own person. And if Gale wants to make a big deal about this then he can. But if he takes it out on Peeta, he should know better. If his going to argue about it with anybody, it should be me. He has no right to taunt Peeta.

"I don't think Gale would mind that much. He understands." I lie.

"Do you think so Katniss?" He asks.

"Peeta…" I open my eyes fully this time and move back a little, trying to see Peeta in the dim light.

"You have nothing to be afraid of. Gale understands, and if he doesn't…he will."

"But if Gale gets mad then he should take it out on me. Not you." He says.

What are Peeta and I trying to do with each other? A while ago I was just saying to myself that Gale has no right to get mad with Peeta for anything. That he should argue with me. But then there's Peeta stating that Gale should get mad at him. What are we doing?

Protecting each other? Because that's all we've ever done, in the Games, when we were allies, we were trying to protect each other with the best of our abilities and now; we're protecting each other in any way we can.

"Peeta you're like my bodyguard you know that? My human shield, my superhero." I explain to him, much more awaken than I was before.

"That's all I want to do. Keep you safe really." He says further then yawns.

I blink a few times and find that I am awake. Not tired anymore, all I wanted to do was go to sleep.

"Peeta now you've waken me up." I grumble.

"I'm sorry…"

"You must be punished; you're sleeping on the floor tonight." I say not making myself sound serious.

"No. Katniss please, I'm sorry." Peeta begs and I start pushing on his chest lightly.

"Go on. Get on the floor."

"Katniss please…"

"I'm not going to say it again Peeta," I say not as serious as I was before.

"Katniss…" Peeta seems to buy it so I continue lightly pushing him back.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You can go back to sleep now."

"No Peeta, you're sleeping on the floor. All I wanted was crash into bed and go to sleep entangled in your warmness." I exaggerate the word 'warmness' to add more humor.

"I won't be able to sleep without you." He says desperately and I just want to laugh out loud because his falling for everything.

"Get on the floor. Now." I say and I shove him one more time and he falls so suddenly I get a mini heart attack. He even grunts and I get more worried.

"Peeta?" I say urgently as soon as I look over the edge of the bed and see his body lying there. Suddenly I hear him laughing and I get a bit scared.

"Peeta?"

"I'm fine Katniss." He says and continues laughing.

"Well then, here's your pillow." I grab his pillow behind me and pass it to him. After that I turn around and look away from him. Pretending I'm going to sleep.

I hear him grunt and he his body fall to the ground. I put the covers comfortably around me and wait for the moment Peeta begs further. I like playing these games with Peeta; it adds more fun to our friendship.

"Goodnight Katniss…" Peeta says suddenly.

"Uh, goodnight." I say. Something's wrong. Peeta would've said that a long time ago and he sounds to…happy. Like you just won something big or you've figured something out. Is Peeta playing with me as well? Expecting me to beg _him_ to come back in bed with me?

Oh that's not happening.

I let out a contended sigh and lay my head more comfortably in the pillows. I lie there awake for a few minutes until I hear Peeta's very quiet snoring. I decide to look at him over the edge and I see his dark silhouette comfortably lying on the floor. I poke at his shoulder and he lets out a silent grunt.

"Peeta?" I whisper. He doesn't do or say anything.

"Peeta?" I say a bit louder and poke a bit harder.

He grunts even more and I see him open his eyes. I know it's open because no matter how dim it is; whatever source of light is in the room, it always shines on his blue eyes.

"You missed me already Katniss?" I can just make out the smile on his lips. "I knew you'd give in somehow." He sits up and his head is just in line with mine.

"Can I come back to bed now Katniss?" He asks.

"Hm…" I say trying to sound as smart as I can. "Not really."

He just smiles and taps my nose with his nose. "Can I get a goodnight kiss before I lie back down on the floor then?" Peeta asks.

I pucker my lips playfully and he gives me a kiss. He kisses me and lets his lips linger there for a while. When he breaks out kiss he keeps his forehead on mine.

"You're so beautiful Katniss. I can't sleep on the floor Katniss. I can't sleep without holding you, I mean, what if something happens?" He says in a crucial like voice.

I wasn't planning on sleeping without Peeta anyway. "Get under the blanket with me then." I say and he laughs triumphantly.

"Yes. It worked." He says.

"What? Your sweet words and everything?" I say.

"Well, at first I thought you were serious about me sleeping on the floor then I thought that you were acting to strange like you just wanted to have fun. I knew you wouldn't let me up on the bed until I embarrass myself or say something that amuses you." He says while he gets under the covers and holds me gently.

"Wow really?" I say sarcastically.

"Yes, that's what I though anyways Katniss." He yawns again and I hear him mumble a tired goodnight.

"I still didn't like you waking me up though." I say and find myself yawning a goodnight.

I lay with my back pressed against Peeta's chest and I can feel him runs his thumb on my waist, where his hand lays. It sends chills down my spine; it also tickles me a little bit.

"Stop fiddling Peeta." I mumble.

He sighs but doesn't stop. He evens makes a brave move to put his hand under my shirt and rubs circles on my skin. "...soft..." I hear him mutter quietly.

"Alright Peeta, just go to sleep you cheeky monkey." I say and yawn again.

"Katniss?"

"Mm?"

"Can I forever be your cheeky monkey?" He asks me like a small child.

"You're my only cheeky monkey Peeta." I say tiredly and feel myself drifting off to sleep. "You'll always be my cheeky monkey." I continue.

"Always?" He asks confusingly.

"Always Peeta." I confirm and I just really want to go to sleep so I'll just agree with everything. The way he runs the circles on my waist is quite soothing. I like it.

"Forever?" He asks again. I turn so now I'm facing Peeta and I lean on his chest.

"Yes Peeta," I sound drunk when I'm tired. I can just hear his smile, which makes me smile in some pathetic reason. He holds me tighter and I move into his embrace. Peeta's warm, soft skin and the steady beat of his heart will make me fall asleep sooner. I can tell that Peeta isn't tried because he keeps talking.

"Tell me a bedtime story Peeta." I mutter.

Peeta clears his throat, "I don't know that story to tell you..."

"Anything will do, I want to sleep." I say.

"Okay...um...well...this story is about a girl called...Serena- no...Cinderella. Now, Cinderella lived with her two evil step sisters and her step mother..." I haven't heard of this story before and I can't fall asleep because I can't stop listening to him. He tells me the story, taking breaks every now and then to remember what happened next.

"..No..the fairy god mother said to Cinderella that should be back by midnight because that's when the magic will time out. So, Cinderella attended the party and as soon as she walked into the hall the Prince's eyes we're on her..."

I listen until he finishes the story, it was a happy ending with the Prince finding Cinderella and marrying her, taking her away from her evil family. I loved it, I wonder where Peeta learnt it from because I think Peeta is the only one in Panem who knows this story. I decide to ask him when I wake up in the morning because I feel the need to sleep.

I don't wake up from any nightmare that night but I do have a dream. I can't quiet remember it but I remember how it felt. I was happy, I felt free. I could hear children singing a song, it sounded familiar, I couldn't remember it but I'm pretty sure it was the song I sang to Rue. Then I remembered feeling a completely different thing, I felt it in my heart. It was a feeling that was mixed with happiness, joy, passion and need. I didn't know what it was called but it was the best feeling in the world. But one thing I never forgot was when I was feeling that in the back of my head I couldn't stop thinking about Peeta. It was a dream of feeling, something that has never happened to me before. It feels weird to be honest; it's almost an out of body experience.

"What happened? Why did the train suddenly stop?" Octavia asks while we're eating our lunch. The train has stopped, there is obviously something wrong with it.

"We might just be having some difficulties." Haymitch answers and continues to eat. It doesn't bother me really, if I could just get Effie's permission then I can go out and get some fresh air.

After lunch, I decide to ask Effie and I don't want to leave Peeta alone so I talk him with me. Most of the time I just want to be alone, but now I want Peeta wherever I go. It's weird.

"Not too long outside you two." Effie warns before Peeta and I make a run for it outside.

"Race you." Peeta says and I give him a challenging look.

"You're on." I make a run for it and Peeta follows behind.

"I'll catch you Katniss!" He yells from behind, all I do is laugh and try not to bump any attendant as I run from them. I even run past Haymitch who is drunk and gives me an exciting good morning. "

I make it to the door first, I push the button and wait for the door to open. As I stand there though, as soon as the door opens, Peeta runs past me before I make a step outside. I wasn't ready to jump out and Peeta has managed to overtake me just in time.

"Yes! I won! Someone call the presses because I just beat Katniss Everdeen!" Peeta shouts as he lands on the ground. I stand there and watch Peeta in amusement. He looks at me smiling because, to him, he has just achieved something great.

"Because I'm nice Katniss. I'll help you down the train." He puts his arms out and I let him carry me down the train.

"Well congratulations Peeta." I say and give him a pat on the shoulder.

We look around at out surroundings, it's quiet. Nothing but trees on either side of the railway tracks. Just Peace and quiet. Peeta and I could just run, I could just drag him along with me because I failed didn't I? I ruined our last chance of survival, I didn't do enough to keep, not just my family safe, Peeta and Gale's family safe as well. I wasn't too convincing, unlike for Peeta who is head over heels in love with me. But for me...it's different.

But what I don't get is how natural things come without the cameras. Without the cameras, I would kiss Peeta whenever I felt like it and with the cameras it doesn't feel right and I'm too stiff. Peeta and I can express the love we have with each other without anyone pressuring us on, but with people watching and wanting us to certain things everytime we just look too fake. I guess that's how we've failed with the Districts.

No, I failed. Peeta didn't, he loved me all along and I was just playing along with the game.

I feel Peeta's arms wrap me from behind. He kisses my neck which sends warm chills down my spine.

"Let's walk down the track and just sit down when we're tired." I suggest.

"Whatever you want." Peeta takes my hand and we walk joyfully down the track. I even catch some birds fly past and I watch them fly in freedom. How I wish I was as lucky as them.

"Katniss when we get home..." Peeta starts saying and I look at him waiting for him to continue. "No, never mind." He says right after he shakes his head.

We continue walking in in silence and Peeta suddenly starts to play with my fingers. At first I didn't mind it, then the more I think about the more uncomfortable I got. So I just let go.

After that, I walk a few steps ahead of him. I can't do this, I just don't understand.

"Katniss..." He calls out to me. "I'm your friend Katniss; you know that, you have to help me understand somehow."

I turn around to meet him, "How Peeta? How can I help when I can't even understand myself?" I ask him in desperation.

Peeta stops walking and he gives me a sad look, "I knew you would say that." He puts his hands and his pocket then looks at the ground. "I'm here to help you though Katniss..." He mumbles quietly.

"I know Peeta." I walk to him and lift his head up to look at me. "What we've been through is hard to forget Peeta and what we're going through right now is harsh but we learn to fight through it together." I explain to him. He looks at me and listens to every word I say. Peeta smiles eventually and take my hand again, fiddling with it absent mindedly.

"We'll have a happy ending like Cinderella." I say suddenly and he lets out a chuckle.

"Prim would love that story, you should tell her that sometime." I continue.

"I don't know Katniss. I don't share the same relationship as Gale does to your family."

I look at Peeta again, "You need to stop thinking about Gale Peeta. I don't like him that way." I say to him.

He scoffs, "Katniss- it-" He pauses, "It's pretty obvious that you love him."

"Peeta." I say as a warning.

"It's true. Everyone knows it, everyone can see it Katniss."

"Well they're all blind because I don't love Gale." I argue.

"No Katniss, you're the blind one."

"I don't love him!" I yell and let go of his hand.

"You do Katniss. You do!" He continues to argue with me.

"Is that what bothers you Peeta? Gale? Is it him?" I ask angrily.

"This whole thing bothers me Katniss. It's messed up." He says and he doesn't even look at me.

"Peeta I don't love Gale."

"Stop denying it Katniss! Stop trying not to accept it alright! I accepted it years ago! I have no chance with you Katniss and this…this thing we have is how far we're going to be because I give up!" He says angrily.

"Go on. Let it all out Peeta." I encourage him.

He stays silent. He blinks a few times and lets his gaze fall on the ground, "I just don't know what to do anymore Katniss."

"Peeta…please, I just don't want anyone getting hurt anymore. Especially you." I say to him.

"Now I can't say that I love you more than Gale because that's no-" He starts but I put my finger on his lips to stop him.

"Peeta. I don't love Gale." I say again and hopefully he gets it through his thick skull.

Instead of saying anything, Peeta looks out into the open. "I've actually come to the point where…where I…I love someone and it…it hurts…it hurts so much." He says into the air.

I can't say anything to this; I'm too overwhelmed with emotion for any words to actually come out. My job would be so much easier if I just tried to understand people but I don't know how to do that. All my life, all I've done is fight and to stay true to myself. I look at the ground in humiliation because I lack sympathy and understanding.

"Katniss, even if you don't learn to love me back I just want you to know that I love you more than…more than anyone else…ever will."

I feel myself become teary. "Peeta…" I say and my tears start to fall. I'm not sobbing, I don't sound like I'm crying and my head is down so Peeta won't be able to know that I'm crying.

"I don't love Gale…" And this time he hears me choking and suddenly Peeta becomes worried. He apologizes quickly and wraps me in an embrace.

"It's h-hard to tell people the truth wh-when they k-keep arguing with what isn't." I choke on my words. Peeta stays quiet and he just rubs my back.

"I'm sorry Katniss but-" I stop what his saying when I pull back and push him away form me.

"But what Peeta!" I yell angrily at him, tears falling down my face.

"That's not what I can see." He mumbles, "That's not what I believe in," He continues.

I shake my head at him. I'm sick of this, with everyone thinking I love Gale. I don't like talking or even thinking about it.

Gale is my best friend. Nothing more. Nothing Less.

Why is Peeta so stubborn? Why does he keep making all this stuff so much more confusing?

So I say the only thing I feel about him right now, "I hate you."

"I hate you," I repeat. More tears fall and I look at him in anger. He looks hurt, he should be. He has every right to after all these thoughts about Gale.

"I hate you!" I yell at him and I turn around and walk back to the train. Enraged with anything related to anger.

I go into my compartment and slam the door shut; making sure it's locked so no one can come in. Especially him.

I fall asleep and I don't wake up until it's really dark, I must've been really tired. I check the watch and its 9 pm. I wake up hungry and I decide to go out to see if I can still order food. Effie sends everyone to sleep at 8.

I walk through the dark hallways into the where we eat. An attendant sees me and quickly stands behind the counter.

"Can I please just have something to eat?" I say to them.

She just nods and she gives orders to the other attendants. I take a seat in the dining table and wait for my food. We're going to be home soon, what am I going to do when I see Gale?

What is he going to think of me?

"Katniss?" I hear his soft voice behind me. I don't turn around; I can't look at Peeta while I'm thinking of Gale.

"What?" Is the only thing I can say.

I hear him make his way towards me, his soft footsteps moving through the carpeted floor. He takes a seat next to me, "Katniss I'm sorr-"

What stops him from talking is when I push my chair back, "Just dont Peeta. Don't even try," I say and move to look out the window.

"Why can't we just go through a day without having to talk about Gale?" I demand for his answer.

"I don't know Katniss. I guess I'm used to it. I've always been jealous of him, even before I met you." He explains but that's not going to cut it sweetheart. I just hope that his tired of everything as I am. We're nearly home and I don't want to go him tired, exhausted and with extra problems. I just want to go home and see my mother and Prim and enjoy our time together.

"Peeta this isn't working," I say.

"Katniss what do you mean? What are you saying?"

I turn around to face him, "I can't have you mentioning Gale every 5 minutes."

"But-"

"I just can't Peeta! Don't talk to me until you've settled things with your messed up head!" I'm too harsh on him but it's the only way I can stop him from overreacting about Gale. It's just way too dramatic.

"So until then, can you please just leave me alone and figure yourself out first!" I say through gritted teeth.

The attendant walks out from the counter and sets my plate on the table. I take my seat opposite Peeta. I eat quietly and Peeta just sits there. Watching me.

Maybe I am being way too hard on Peeta when it comes to Gale. All his done is be nice to me and listen to what I have to say. I can't help it though; I can't compare Gale to Peeta. I don't want to do that.

I finish my food quicker than I thought and I had to one of the attendants. Peeta sits on the chair, his head down on his lap and his shoulder relaxed and slumped. I look at him, his probably doing what I told him to. To fix his messed up head about Gale.

Slowly, I walk towards him. "So are you coming to bed or what?" I ask him quickly.

He knows that I can't sleep without him. Even though I'm angry with him at the moment, I don't want to spend the night alone. That's unfair for Peeta though, after getting mad at him I expect him to just suddenly come to my aid whenever I need it.

That's not how I work though. I'm not using Peeta. I just need him.

"I'm sorry too Peeta." The words just suddenly slipped out of my mouth. Isn't what people say that comes from the heart?

I guess those words came from the heart.

"I just really can't worry about Gale because it just gives more things to stress about." I explain calmly. "And I don't hate you. I regret that now actually, that I even said that." He says nothing though and continues staring at his lap.

"Please come to bed with me. I won't be able to sleep again if you won't." I say.

Peeta sighs heavily; he gets up and looks at me. He gives me a small smile and points his head to the direction of the hallway.

"Didn't you just finish sleeping?" He asks.

I shrug, "We could just tell stories again."

We're silent for a while until Peeta speaks up, "So you don't like it when I bring Gale up in our conversations?" He asks and I tell myself to be nice to Peeta.

"No. Because it always feels like a competition between you two. All I want you to understand from this is that I don't like Gale in that sort of way." I say to him and he looks at me closely.

"I want to look at the both of you as friends not as competitors fighting for a useless prize." I say.

"You're not useless Katniss." Peeta implies.

"Do you understand now Peeta? And I really don't want you to keep making yourself upset by thinking of Gale and me together."

Suddenly Peeta wraps his arms around me and my arms go around his neck. His face hides into my neck and I hear him sniff.

Have I gone too far?

Peeta holds me tighter until I'm flushed against him.

"It hurts Katniss." Those three words break my heart. I remember when he said it the first time and when he said this morning that he loves me so much it hurts.

"I don't want it to hurt you know. I never expected my love for you to go this far." He explains softly.

"I tell myself that you love Gale all the time so that I try not to keep getting in your way. In where you want to go and what you want to do Katniss. Now I can take seeing you with Gale, I'm fine with that but I can't not love you Katniss. Loving you is part of me now." He says.

I'm finding it hard to breath, my chest is tight and my throat is clogged. It hurts when Peeta talks about his love for me, it doesn't just hurt him, and it makes a huge impact on me as well. This subject would be the kind of thing that I would try to avoid because I don't want any of us getting hurt any further but it's not something that we can keep inside ourselves and let if haunts us day by day.

I run my hand around the back of Peeta's hair to soothe him a little bit.

"Peeta I- I- I- I don't like seeing you like this. Smile for me will you." I say and lean back.

I meet his blue eyes and I encourage him by smiling a little. "No matter how much it hurts Katniss we'll keep smiling right?"

"Right." I confirm and he smiles. There it is, the boy with the blue eyes. My only comfort, my escape from the world, the only one I know who'll never leave me for sure, my friend and my knight in shining armor. I can say that for sure.

"I'll get there Peeta. I'll get there eventually…" I say and as I expected it, he didn't understand.

"Katniss I don't…"

After his sentence I kiss him, I kiss him because it's the only thing that I know will comfort him a little bit.

I didn't know what I was supposed to say a while ago when I said that I'll get there, it just came out again. I understand what I said but I don't think I was supposed to say it that way.

When Peeta and I stop kissing we walk to my room but every now and then Peeta would steal a few kisses as we walk. At times we'd end up leaning on the wall and it took a really long time to finally reach my room. I get ready for bed and when I get of the bathroom Peeta sits on the bed with his legs resting on the mattress and his back leaning on the headboard; his face covered in concentration.

His still bothered by our argument early in the afternoon. What started as our escape and freedom became our fight to understanding. It could be a good thing but not all arguments can end up well. If a person doesn't know how to forgive then one argument is enough for them to hate each other for a really long time.

What if Peeta or I made a wrong move this afternoon which would've caused us hate each other inside and out.

I think back to when I was eavesdropping on Haymitch and Peeta. How Haymitch said that we're already acting as married couples. I don't really know how to respond to that.

I go and sit on Peeta's lap and put my head on his shoulder.

"Can you please tell me the Cinderella story again?" I ask Peeta while I play with the hem of his shirt.

"Sure." He takes my legs and pulls them closer to his lap. I listen to the story of Cinderella again. I manage to fall asleep after the long sleep I had a while ago. It just goes to show how tired I am from this tour. Today we didn't go anywhere so Effie sent everyone else to bed early.

When we go on Districts we come back to the train at around 10 pm and we have to get rid of out make up then try and get some sleep. I usually wake up in the middle of the night from a nightmare and it takes time to calm me down, then Effie wakes us around 7 am. We only get a few hours' sleep and what we really need now is to rest.

I suddenly wake up sometime at midnight and I'm under the covers with Peeta. What I mean by that is our whole body is under the blanket; even our heads. I lay with my head on Peeta's chest. From my eye view I watch his stomach rise and fall; I hear his steady heart beat too.

I have absolutely no problems sleeping like this every night where I'm wrapped in Peeta's warmth. It's the only protection I have at night, especially when I have my nightmares. Without Peeta, I wouldn't be able to sleep a night without having a nightmare. Like I said, his my only escape, my only protection and my superhero.

* * *

_I_ have_ to tell you guys, I got a little emotional writing this. Love is a really crazy thing, use it wisely guys don't go playing with it as a toy. _

_I'm sorry for any grammar mistakes._

_The story 'Cinderella' doesn't belong to me as well. (Disclaimer)_

_Guys keep tuned for the next chapter(s). This story isn't finished yet, we still have District 12 and Gale too cover so stay with me. I'll try to get these things as fast as I can for you guys. Hopefully you are patient and understandable. I'm NOT leaving this story unfinished._

_Please leave me what you think. It's my motivation to actually keep writing. I see how a lot of you guys ask about Gale and Katniss' feeling towards him and I used that as an idea to kind of tell you what you need to know. It's my motivation. _

_You guys keep this story going, without you it would be nothing. I'm thankful that you guys read my work because I spend do much time on it when I could just be out there living my life but I sacrifice my time for this. _

_I even have this Fanfiction that a reviewer told me to read and I can't even find the time to do that but I will. _

_I will. Don't worry._

_Sorry for the long author's note. _

_**Stay in tune! :D **_

_-_RestlessIdeas


	15. Like With Benefits?

_Yes! I finally finished this chapter. Thank you for your patience. _

_Thank you for the reviewers, you guys are the best. You're just awesome._

_Hopefully you like this chapter. Don't forget to leave me what you think._

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN THE HUNGER GAMES**

* * *

_**CHAPTER FIFTEEN: LIKE...WITH BENEFITS?**_

Peeta and I wake up early in the morning, just a few hours after I woke up at midnight. The sun hasn't risen yet but it's about to. When I open my eyes I see Peeta's blue ones staring back at me.

"Morning," I say quietly.

"No nightmares?"

"What?" I ask him.

"You had no nightmares last night?"

I shake my head slowly, "No. I just had a dream. It was a bout Rue." I say softly, my voice still hoarse from waking up.

"Peeta? Why don't I ever know when you have a nightmare?"

"I don't know, well when I have a nightmare...I'm just frozen. I don't really kick or punch like you."

"Oh. Well you should wake me up. The only times I know you're having a nightmare is when you scream."

"I have nightmares every night. It's worse if I'm not lying with you though. That's why I couldn't sleep again last night, when I heard your door open I looked for you straight away." I offer him a small smile but a sad one.

"I'm sorry. About yesterday, I just really don't like people saying that stuff about me and…Gale." I tell him.

"I'm sorry for bringing it up." Peeta does it again. He never truly blames me for everything; he just has to apologize for something.

"You have to stop doing that Peeta. Stop finding ways to blame yourself. I make mistakes too you know."

"You're perfect Katniss."

"Nobody's perfect Peeta."

"You are. You're perfect to me."

"That's easy for you to say."

"And that's hard for you to accept."

"Like how you can't accept the fact that Gale and I are just friends."

His silent for a while. "I grew up believing that Katniss, it's not easy to just suddenly change the way I feel about it."

Now it's me who's quiet for a while.

I don't know what to say.

I know what it's like to believe in something though. And his right, trying to not believe in what you grew up believing in isn't easy.

Ever since my father died, I always believed that he was there. His spirit walking with me and that his there at home. Taking care of us.

But once someone has died, they don't stay down here. They go up there. My dad never left, he was always there but his spirit wasn't walking with me or standing beside me.

His within me, in my heart. My father might not be walking with me but his in my heart. And his watching us from above, taking care of our problems up there.

"I'm sorry," I repeat. And this time I don't want Peeta to counteract that. "Don't apologize Peeta. Don't tell me it's not my fault."

He keeps his mouth shut for me. "We're nearly home." Are the words that come out of his mouth afterwards.

"Yeah, we are." I mumble.

I can't wait to see Prim and my mother. I just hope that Snow hasn't done anything to them or to anyone. I think about Peeta's family, how will they welcome him home. Especially his mother. I wonder what kinds of things he has said to Peeta when he came home from the Games months ago.

I try to stop myself saying it because he might find it too personal but it comes out anyway.

"How does your mother feel about…us?" I ask pointing my finger at both of us.

"When I got home from the Games she said how much she didn't expect me to win. I was going to sleep in my room that night but she was sure I wasn't going to come back so she cleared all my things away."

How could she do something like that? I don't even know how to respond so I wait for him to continue.

"My dad and my brothers gave me a hug though, Dad even cried when he gave me a hug but my mother just scoffed. That night when we were having dinner and I was talking about my time in the Games my brothers just wanted to know how it felt like for me to finally get the girl of my dreams. I told them the truth, but I couldn't tell them about our little game. I couldn't risk it, especially with my mother. So instead, I told them how amazing you were. The way you kept me alive and your bravery…"

I smile because Peeta talks about me that way. His so proud of it. Unlike me, when people ask about how I feel towards Peeta I don't even give them a proper answer. I just leave them as confused as I am. I don't even tell them how amazing he is as a painter, how he can bake the most delicious bread in the world, how his blue eyes shine, how his always there when I call him and I never tell them how beautiful he is.

I'm not being fair to Peeta.

I should be.

I am. From now on, I will be fair to Peeta. I will tell people about how happy I am when I'm with him. And I'm going to do it to convince them more about my love for him. I'm going to be proud about talking about him; I'm going to tell them the truth. I'm going to tell them what my heart feels about Peeta. I'm going to tell them the truth.

I wait for Peeta to continue speaking, "Then my mother started asking herself how you would even think of kissing me. It did hurt you know, no one likes it when people say that the person you like would never like you. After that she started talking about you, mocked the way you would your bow. She said you were a strong fighter but a weak survivor. She had respect for you but she doesn't like you, I didn't even know that someone could feel that way about a certain person. I got sick of her comments so I yelled at her to shut up. I regretted it straight away because as soon as I got up she slapped me hard across the face. She got mad at me as usual. I couldn't take it you know; I left the house and ran to my home in the Victors Village. I got the key to the place already and I spent the night there. The next day was when we were supposed to move in the house right? So I got all my stuff and I live there now. I even invited them to come live with me but my mother didn't want to." He says then he scoffs.

"Actually, what she wanted to do was move into my house in the Victors Village but she wants me, just me, to stay in our old house at the Bakery and live alone. She would take my dad and my brothers with her and leave me behind, she even talks about my money like it's hers. I mean, I gave her a share of my money. She didn't say thank you or anything, doesn't even acknowledge what I went through to get that money. Now all I want to do is burn every single dollar so she doesn't keep asking and taking them just to benefit her. Just her you know." He stops there. That's when I know it's my turn to speak now.

I can't believe that Peeta's mum would treat him like that. That batty old witch.

I hate her. I do.

I look at Peeta in disbelief. He has to live with this. "Your mother doesn't deserve you Peeta. If I could I'd go in there and knock some senses to your mother. I would do it you know; I'm not scared of her."

"Sometimes I even believe her you know. That I'm completely worthless and pathetic. How could I not believe it, especially if you're reminded about it every day?"

I give him a sad smile, "You're not pathetic. Peeta you're astounding, I love everything about you."

Did I really just say that? Did I just say the word love?

He smiles at me and it sends butterflies down my tummy. His smile is absolutely beautiful.

"A few years ago, I think it was 3 years ago, my brother talked to me about you. He could tell that I like you, he said her could see it in me. My mother was listening to our conversation from the kitchen and when we heard her laugh we stopped talking. She came out from the kitchen and told me "That girl would never like you and you strive for someone richer. But I doubt that, only ugly and poor girls would fall for someone like you. Just because I said that, it doesn't mean that this Katniss would like you. I see the boy she walks with all day, that other Seam boy, Hawthorne. So just give up Peeta, you're going to be alone forever." She left the room laughing; her words hit me like a ton of bricks. My brother tried to cheer me up but it didn't just insult me; it hurt me." His silent after that, his probably letting me swallow in the information.

I don't know what to say, I really don't. I just stare at Peeta's eyes.

So blue. So gorgeous. I guess I never really figured that out until now.

"Katniss can I ask you something?"

I smile at him, "You already are."

He smiles as well and it makes me a little happy knowing that he's happy.

"Yesterday, you said- you said that you'll get there eventually. Wh-what did you mean?"

I swallow, he kept that in mind. "Don't worry about it." I answer.

"Should I have hope then Katniss? If that was what you meant, should I forget that I ever gave up on you?"

I can't deny that that wasn't what I meant because that was what I meant.

Eventually, I'll get there.

"I-I- I don't want to have to lie to you Peeta. I really don't want to do that." I pick myself to sit up on the bed. "I mean were going to get married aren't we? I had a choice b-but to be with you, Haymitch ordered the marriage to happen when I was talking to him but I could choose whether or not to continue with it. I'm giving my life up to be with you forever Peeta, it's almost impossible that I won't be able to fall in love with you. I don't know if I ever will but I guarantee you that I might get there. No. No. I will. I will get there. Eventually." I don't want to keep hurting Peeta the way I do now.

Our feelings toward each other eat the living day out of us. It makes us fight, cry and upset about it. That's why we always try to avoid the subject, but we have a lot of questions about the subject that only the other can answer.

Not talking about it at all will only make us crazy. This whole love fest we have started the whole thing anyway. If Peeta haven't proclaimed his love for me then we wouldn't have played along, it wouldn't have made the Game makers choose to have two victors which would've never made me pull out those berries. Then the people of Panem wouldn't have found the bravery to start an uprising and to make a new beginning, but the bravery might just put a lot of innocent lives in danger.

The people now are not ready for an uprising, especially at the state we're in. We have absolutely no way to contact the other Districts. We're all trapped inside a fence, left to starve and survive. Everyday it's a game. A game of survival that we play with the Capitol. The Hunger Games isn't just the game that we fear of; it's also the game we have to play every day.

"Katniss I love you," Peeta says, he is clearly overwhelmed with feelings. I turn to look at him and I smile.

"You always do that you know. You always smile, everytime I say those words." He says happily and sit up with me. He positions himself do that his chest is to my back and his legs are on both sides of my hips.

"Do you really think that we could make this whole marriage work?" Peeta asks me.

"Yeah, we can. We can't just back down now." I answer.

Peeta's arms go around me and I lean back on his chest. "I wish we are going to be happy together Katniss. It would be a dream come true."

I smile at his thought.

Hope. That's still one thing that he holds on when it comes to loving me. He might've given up, if he did, but he still has hope. Not just hope for me loving him back but hope for everyone and everything. Hope. I wish I had that.

"Peeta?" I swallow, I don't want to make him feel uncomfortable but I really want to say this.

"Yeah."

"Can you promise me something?" I ask then turn my head as far as I can to look at him.

"Anything Katniss." He says then kisses my temple softly.

"No matter what happens between the two of us, can you promise that you will never ever leave me? T-that you will be there when I need you b-because I need you Peeta…I do. And I promise you that I won't leave as well. If you need me…I'll be right here." I can't stop myself from saying these words. I was kind of hoping that needing Peeta would be a secret desire. So that he doesn't have to know because it would just add confusion to our relationship. But because we're talking about our whole relationship right now my mouth just suddenly decided to blurt everything out.

Peeta smiles warmly at me. A smile that touches my inner being all the way to my heart. I find myself smiling as well.

I may not love Peeta the way he loves me but I need him. I can say that now because this whole tour changed everything. When Peeta and I are alone together, not pressured by what we have to do or worried about our families or even worried about Gale, our friendship developed to something even deeper than that. You can call still call it friendship, but it's the kind of friendship that Peeta and I share. That way we care about each other, the way we talk to each other and the love we share for each other is something that I don't share with anyone else. Not even Gale and Gale is my best friend. Gale was probably my only friend. The only person I had to share my feelings to openly. What I share with Gale is something that I don't share with Peeta and what Peeta and I share is completely different to what I share with Gale.

But they both mean as much to me as the other.

Not as lovers. But as friends.

I think what influenced the way I treat each of them is how we developed together. I kiss Peeta and I don't kiss Gale. I could kiss Peeta whenever I like but the thought of kissing Gale the way I kiss Peeta doesn't make me feel uncomfortable or distracted, it just won't feel right. I don't know how but it just won't.

The more I think about this the more I question how I really look at the both of them. But I'm not making this into a competition; I just want to set my feelings straight.

"I promise." When Peeta said those two words I snap out of my thoughts.

"You promise?" I ask just to be safe.

"Of course."

"You're not just saying that because you love me right?"

Peeta shrugs, "Maybe. But I wouldn't just agree with it because of that you know. You mean a lot to me Katniss, I need you to."

"Why do you have to be such a gentleman Peeta?" I ask him. He chuckles at my question and his head falls to look at my shoulder. He looks like his thinking about something that is bothering him. I don't try to ask him.

I know just how to cheer him up. "Can I get a kiss then Peeta?" I say and his head pops up, a smile on his face and a look of desire. He leans in to me and kisses me tenderly. I have to admit, Peeta is a great kisser.

"Have you kissed…anyone else rather…than me…Peeta?" I ask in between kisses. A slight shake of his head and the eagerness to kiss me again answers my question. My eyes become relax and closes, I fall into his embrace and follow the movement of his lips. Peeta has a new found of eagerness and desire that adds up to passion.

I push him back lightly, "Are you okay?" I ask jokingly.

"Fine." He says with a shrug and leans in again but I lean back. His eyebrows furrow and he looks at me weirdly. I stare back at him, looking at his face to see if there's something wrong with him. Everything looks fine; it's just his neediness on kissing me that makes me a little worried.

Peeta's expression changes and he might think that he was making me feel weird because of all this kissing. So I just peck his lips softly, that seemed to have triggered it. He kisses me again and holds me flush against him. I position myself properly, moving each of my legs on each side of his hips; facing him. Now I can kiss him properly, he leans on his arms. His soft curls touch my fingers softly, I can never get used to the feel of it. I don't I ever will, it's so soft and it's so foreign.

Peeta breaks our kiss again and suddenly I follow his lips but once I realize and I stop moving and shake myself awake a little bit. My eyes open and I see Peeta. His eyes are still closed, leaning back; he looks like his dreaming or something. I look at him for a second or two before I give him a quick kiss. He doesn't kiss back though. I look at him again and this time he smiles and talks.

"I was trying to remember when I first met you." His eyes open, "When you sang in class."

After that he kisses me, "I just can't believe I'm really kissing you right now." He says in between a kiss. I can't believe it either, that I'm kissing anybody for that matter.

Suddenly I start humming in between kisses. And after that words form, "Here…it's safe…here it's…warm."

"Here…the daisies…" Peeta continues for me.

"Guard you from every harm." And we sing that together.

I chuckle, "Here your dreams are sweet..."

"And tomorrow bring them true," He continues the song for me again and I laugh. Again he stops my laughter by kissing me.

I manage to sing again in between kisses.

"Here...is the..place.."

Peeta stops kissing me, he looks at me in encouragement. Waits for me to continue.

I relax a little bit and my shoulder drop, "Sing with me and I'll continue."

"No. Katniss...no. I want to hear you."

I shake my head disapprovingly. I give him a peck, "Come on or enough kissing for the day."

"You can't do that Katniss. You still have to kiss me in the party in District 12 tonight."

I shrug "I don't have to."

He leans in and I lean back. He does it again and I further away from his lips. "Katniss..." He says impatiently.

"No." I simply imply.

"Katniss, that's unfair." His whining like a small child.

"No you're unfair. You're making me sing all by myself."

"I can't sing though." Peeta says and makes another attempt to kiss me but I lean back further and my back hits the mattress. Peeta now hovers over me, I swear his going to try and kiss me no matter what.

"Gotcha." He says with a sinister smile. He leans in again and I turn my head to the side, his lips landing on my cheek.

He groans, his silent for a while. "H-here is the place..." He starts and I face him straight away.

"Where I...love you." I join Peeta with the last two words and as soon as we finish he attacks my lips again.

He kisses me with the same eagerness and hunger. I can help but smile. I push him back again and he tries to lean his head back but I push his face away and I laugh. He laughs as well and his lick my palm while I am covering his face. I quickly wipe my palm into his bare chest.

"Ew!" I say.

"Since when did you think anything was disgusting? You skin animals for goodness sake."

"I don't know Peeta." I say absent mindedly and wobble my fingers on his bottom lip.

"What are you doing?" He asks and his voice is all jumpy and bubbly because I'm waggling his bottom lip. Suddenly he sets his teeth out and it catches my finger, his not biting it but his sure is holding it with his teeth.

"You hurt my finger you're dead." I threaten.

"I love you too." He says dropping my finger.

My smile drops a tiny bit and I relax. I stare at Peeta looking down at me, his eyes staring at mine, his hair messy because of how I ran my hand around it and his breathless. He looks so happy, away from his mother who is mean to him and he is with me. And we're happy together, is it possible that we can be like this forever?

Peeta smiles wider and tucks a strand of hair in my ear. As he relaxes he lets his weight down on me. He is now leaning on his elbows.

"Am I too heavy Katniss?" He asks me.

"No, it's fine. I don't feel any pressure."

He kisses me again. Not as passionately and hungry as last time but sweet and soft and tender.

"Do you…not feel weird…with having to…kiss me…Katniss?"

I stop kissing him, "What do you mean? I kiss you all the time."

"Like without the cameras and all?"

I think about it for a moment then I shake my head, "No. I feel okay."

"But friends don't kiss do they?" he asks me.

I smile at Peeta's silliness. "Maybe…we're just used to it."

"We're just friends you happen to kiss each other and sleep beside each other." I say exasperatedly.

"I guess so. Like...with benefits?" He asks confusingly.

I fall silent for a second, "Yeah…sure…why not?"

"When we get home, I'm going to bake you bread every day." He says completely off topic.

"What should I make you then?"

"Maybe some squirrel for dinner." And he presses his nose against mine.

I snicker, "Sure, if I can manage to catch some. It's more risky going out in the woods now. Especially for me, I really thought that was my safe place. Where I could just hid from the rest of the world. But not that's taken away from me too."

"Could you take me to the woods some day? Show me what you do there." Peeta asks.

All I can do is nod. I will take him out there one day but it's too risky. I was going to stop going to the woods all together actually because Snow knows what I'm doing. But I'll try to get Peeta there. I will.

"We really are going to be happy together aren't we?" He asks me again.

"We will be Peeta. We will be." Peeta smiles again and leans in to kiss me. Our lips barely touch when Effie bangs on the door calling us to breakfast.

"I guess we have to go." I say and slowly push Peeta off me.

Before I can get out of bed Peeta catches me by the waist and says softly, "We don't have to."

"Effie's schedule Peeta. Her schedule. We must be on time." I say and I can't wait to get home.

"Alright then…" He grunts. I make Peeta put a shirt on before we leave for breakfast.

"Welcome back Peeta and Katniss!" Mr. Undersee greets Peeta and I as soon as we walk through the mayor's doors.

"Katniss!" I hear Prim somewhere and my head instantly look around the room. Desperately searching for Prim.

"There she is. Running to you now." Peeta says happily into my ear.

I look forward and there she is. In a beautiful yellow dress, fast walking or running to me. When Prim has reached me I give her a tight hug. Thank God she's alright.

"You've only just came! I thought you were coming to the house first!" She says flabbergasted.

"Well no, the train ride took longer than expected." I say and Prim changes her gaze to Peeta.

"Peeta!" She gives him a hug and Peeta picks her up. I nearly forgot how strong Peeta was.

"Congratulations on the engagement you two." I hear the mayor say.

"Oh yeah! Congratulations." Prim says excitedly once Peeta has put her down.

"Thank you." I say to the mayor and Prim.

"Where's mum?" I ask Prim.

"She's in the toilet." Prim says.

As the hours pass the people pile in and the celebrations begin. As I'd expected, Gale isn't here. But his family is. We dance as usual, eat and have a good time. I watch the children of District 12 eating happily in the buffet. It's better than watching them cry and starve. The night goes fast and soon Prim, my mother, Peeta, a drunken Haymitch, Effie and our prep teams and me walk back to our home in the Victor's Village.

"You know…" Haymitch says drunkenly and not a second later he vomits. There's a slight shriek we get from Effie. Cinna and Peeta straight away help Haymitch walk and stand for that matter. We walk the rest of the way to the Village, with our shoes making taps on the concrete. Everyone else except Cinna and Peeta enters our house. Cinna and Peeta have to take Haymitch to his house.

My mum offer to make tea for Effie and the prep teams but they said they have drank enough.

"You should stay a bit longer. If you want, you can spend the night here and get ready to board the train to the Capitol tomorrow." I offer nicely.

"Oh no that's fine. We have a lot of things to take care of back at the capitol. We'll be back in a matter of months after we've figured out what we'll do with your wedding. For now, keep in touch. Answer your phone calls." Effie says to me. I smile in agreement and then Cinna and Peeta enter the house.

"Well, we should go then." Effie says and everyone else lets out a whine.

"Do we have to go so early?" Octavia whines.

"Yes okay. We need to take care of things and we cannot fall behind-"

"Schedule!" We all interrupt Effie and yell in unison.

"Alright then. We'll see you later Katniss and Peeta." Cinna gives Peeta a hug and then gives me one. We all share hugs and goodbyes and have little conversations about how we enjoyed our time together.

When I hug Effie goodbye she warns me to behave. Effie might as well be my second mother. We wave goodbye to them as they walk down the pathway, we copy Prim and blow kisses to them as well.

Once they've gone; Peeta, Prim and I are the only ones left in the doorway. My mother has already went up to bed and gotten ready for bed. I see Prim look at Peeta and I and opens her mouth to say something, "I should go and get ready for bed to." She says and walks off.

After that, Peeta and I are left alone together.

"So I'll see you tomorrow Katniss?"

"I-I guess so." I answer. I just realized that I have to sleep without Peeta. I don't think that I'll be able to manage that. I just don't know how to ask him and Prim and my mother might feel a bit weird. He isn't Gale after all and they're more comfortable seeing Gale around the house all the time rather than Peeta. Gale did take care of the both of them while I was in the Games, made sure they didn't starve. I will never stop owing him for that.

Peeta arms go around my waist and we share an embrace. "I had fun during the tour Katniss. We'll just see if I can sleep without you tonight."

I then remember that Peeta and I are going to move in together. I won't be sleeping then. Hopefully I won't though.

I breathe in as I hug Peeta and I can just smell the scent of cinnamon. I won't smell that tonight even though I've smelt cinnamon every time I have slept beside him. He holds me nice and tight, his arms enveloping me in his warmth.

"I'll see you tomorrow," He whispers in my ear.

"Tomorrow. I want that bread." I whisper back.

Peeta chuckles and we unwrap each other. We look at one another for a few seconds until Peeta leans in and gives me a kiss then leaves.

I can't sleep. It's colder than usual, the room seems empty and it's too quiet. I don't like it, Prim is sleeping with my mother tonight and I don't that there is enough space for me. I get up and grab another blanket from the cabinet. I double my blankets and then I lay back down but it's still a little cold. It's warm but there's that slight touch of coldness telling me that there's something missing. I know it's Peeta. I'm used to him being next to me and wrapped in his arms. His arms that protect me from my nightmares. Sadly I don't get that protection tonight, there might be a nightmare and I'll have to scream myself awake. I'll worry Prim and my mother.

I grab one of my pillows and I hug it. It helped because eventually I fell asleep and just like I guessed it I have another nightmare and I scream myself awake. I sob as Prim and my mother cheer me. They both hold me until I fall asleep. I feel their presence as I'm asleep and I know that they've slept beside me for the remainder of the night.

* * *

_Thank you for reading! Sorry for any grammar mistakes._

_I am not finished yet, I still have Gale and the whole moving together to cover then the end of the story. I really don't know how to end this story but I'll get there. Fingers crossed that I come up with something good._

_Thank you again for being patient guys and I might upload within 5 days again. I have tons of homework. _

_Hope you loved it and just comment/PM me if you had any problems, questions etc._

_Please review, it will help me work faster and help with more ideas._

_Ciao! [Hopefully I spelt that right]_

RestlessIdeas


	16. Sunday

_Finally! I've finished this chapter! I really don't like to keep you guys waiting and I was also waiting on those reviews. _

_Hopefully you like this chapter. And leave me any questions and I'll try to answer them the best that I can._

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN THE HUNGER GAMES.**

* * *

_**CHAPTER SIXTEEN: SUNDAY**_

"Katniss come on wake up already! I want to eat the bread Peeta left for us! Katniss! Katniss come on! Mum said we shouldn't eat without you! Katniss! Katniss!" Prim shakes me awake. Even if my eyes are already open she still shakes me vigorously.

"I am up Prim." I say tiredly. At first, I expected to see Peeta's eyes when I open my own, but I remembered that we're back home.

"Get up then Katniss!" Prim pulls on my hand to get me to sit up.

"I'm getting up little duck." I say once I get my legs on the floor.

"Let's go and eat then. I'm hungry!" Prim runs out the door and I follow slowly behind.

I walk down the stairs and I can hear Prim and mother.

"She's awake Mum. She's awake!" Prim says cheerfully.

"Oh Prim, you shouldn't have. She must be really tired from the tour."

"Well Katniss can sleep again after we've eaten. I just really want to get cracking on this bread. Mum why do we have to wait until Katniss woke up to eat the bread."

"Because we might finish it all before she even gets a bite."

"No we wouldn't do that. We'd leave some for her." Prim says.

"You have never tasted Mellark's bread have you?"

"Yes we have. Remember a few years ago. Katniss came home with some burnt ones. I knew they were from the bakery because they're probably the only ones who had a working oven at the time." Prim says.

I could never forget that day when Peeta gave me that bread.

How could I?

It saved our lives.

"You would know what their bread tasted like. Mr. Mellark probably gave you bread all the time when you were together." Prim points out. I'm quiet shocked at Prim's confidence to say this.

"Yes he did Prim, now go and sit at the table and we'll wait for Katniss to come down." I can just make out the emptiness in her voice. I wonder, when my mum was younger. When she had both my dad and Peeta's. Are the questions that go around my head about Gale and Peeta the same kind that went through my mother's with my dad and Mr. Mellark?

Did it confuse her like what it does to me?

How did she make up her mind on which she was going to be with?

I make my way down the last couple of steps and go I can already smell the sweet smell of cinnamon. I make my way to the dining room quickly and I see bread set out in a plate in the middle of the table.

"Yay! Come on Katniss, let's sit and eat now." It's nice seeing my sister this happy. Not knowing that Snow is making plans for me and Peeta.

I take a seat and my mother puts a cup of tea in front of me. I say a thank you and Prim eagerly takes a piece of bread. It's a bun really, with cheese on top I think. We watch Prim take a bit and as soon as she starts chewing she moans in delight.

"Oh that's so good." She says. She takes another bread and her eyes close. I grab one straight away and take a bite.

Prim is right. It's delicious. I just love that way the sweet cheese melts into your mouth and how it's perfectly mixed into the bun.

I love it. It's so good, so incredibly good that I finish it quickly and grab another from the plate. Peeta has made about 6 buns and Prim has already eaten one and she's on her second and so am I. That's means that there's only 2 left on the plate and mum hasn't even had any yet. Prim and I eat the bread as fast as we can but it was too late. Mum grabbed both the reamaining buns with her hands and she starts nibbling on them.

Prim and I share a look of loss and despair.

"Mum!" Prim whines, "That's not fair."

"It is fair. Both of you have already had two buns and now I get the remaining two. Then we get two each." She explains calmly.

"Well...I guess it's fair though." Prim says with a shrug. She drinks her tea quietly after that. I look at my empty hands and the empty plate in disappointment. I wish Peeta had made more.

I drink my tea in silence as well.

"I heard a lot has happened during the tour." My mother says and my head perks up.

"Yes Katniss. What _has _happened during the tour?" Prim says too suspiciously and I start to feel uncomfortable. "We heard you were very..._flexible._" Prim says the word in such a suspenseful manner and joking at the same time. That made me feel really uncomfortable.

My eyes close at the recognition of the word and my head falls to look at my lap.

"It's no-" I start saying but mum interrupts me.

"Katniss I understand that you are a teenage girl and Peeta is also a teenager. Both of you have your desires-"

"No! Do you actually believe that?"

"Oh and you didn't even tell us about your engagement." Prim adds.

"I'm sorry, it was something that we thought of but never really thought that would happen." I explain.

"I'm happy you're marrying Peeta. He's a nice boy, your father adored him you know." Mum says and I suddenly remember when Peeta told me about Dad ruffling his hair and trading with them at the Bakery.

"I know..." I mumble inaudibly.

"I was just joking with the whole flexible thing Katniss. We know it's not true. Or is it?" Prim says in an attempt of another joke.

"Very funny Prim." I say sarcastically.

"How was the tour Katniss?" Mum asks.

"It was...very different. It was scary at the same time." I say remembering the man that got shot in 11. That was a great way to start the tour.

"You didn't know what was going to happen next really. And Peeta showed me the most beautiful things while we were on tour. There was this sunset in District 4 and the stars looked beautiful on the day we went to District 1. We ate breakfast watching the sunrise on most days.

"That sounds like fun." Prim says, "I'm jealous, we see a lot of updates about you two on the television as well. Most of them are the same, they show your speech, we watch you dance and they even have some footage of Peeta drunk. That was hilarious, he was walking with Haymitch behind you and they were signing." Prim says excitedly, "It was so funny, lucky you didn't get drunk Katniss."

"You were amazing in your dancing as well." Mum compliments.

"And your dresses. Cinna made you look fabulous. I like your look better when you were in the Capitol. Where you looked young and your face wasn't heavily covered in make-up."

Just then the doorbell rings and I jump off my seat. "That might be Peeta." I say quickly and walk quickly to the front door. I open it and there's Peeta holding a box. I smile as soon as I see him and I let him in. Prim and my mother soon appear and Peeta greets them as well.

"What's in there?" Prim points to the box.

"I was just about to ask the same thing." Mum says.

"Do you mind if we look?" Prim asks Peeta.

"No of course not. I was just going to drop it off anyway." He says and Prim quickly opens the box.

"Morning." Peeta says to me and I smile wider.

"Morning." I reply.

"Wow! Mum look, it's Peeta's painting." Prim yells suddenly and I look at what she's pointing.

My gift from Peeta. How could I forget? I look back at Peeta and I give him a thankful look.

"Thanks for bringing them in." I say.

"Yeah no worries, did you just wake up?"

"Yeah. I couldn't sleep last night." I say.

"Oh! Where was this? I didn't see you wear this orange thing while you were on TV." Prim says loudly.

"Maybe you missed it or they just didn't put me on TV with that dress." I tell her.

"These are lovely Peeta. They look real." My mum compliments.

"Thank you." He says. "Well, I' should go. I wouldn't want to bother any plans you have today." Peeta says.

Before I can say anything Prim steals the word before I can say it. "Wait!"

Peeta stops moving, "Maybe you should stay. What are you going to be doing today anyway?" Prim asks.

"Uh, nothing really." He answers.

"Excellent! Then you can spend the day with us. It is Sunday, you can have dinner too." My mum says.

I like the way Prim and my mother treats Peeta. They're happy with him, knows that he's a nice kindhearted person, they don't give him cold glares or anything.

They have no reason to. Peeta saved our lives years ago. We're forever in his debt.

"I really don't want to bother you." Peeta says.

"Peeta stop being modest. You can stay for the day. You can even join for dinner." My mother says kindly and I can't help but smile.

"I really..." Peeta trails off and looks at me for approval.

"Peeta, please stay." I plead.

"Alright." Peeta says and Prim cheers.

"There we go. I can get to learn more about my son in-law." Mum says and I look at her with my eyes wide open.

"You're part of our family now Peeta. And family sticks together." Prim says.

Wow. Prim and my mum are really making this whole engagement thing a little easier. But they seem really serious about it though.

It's not making me feel uncomfortable that they're being nice to Peeta; it's just how they treat him that makes me get confused. They seem happier with Peeta than they were before. Prim takes Peeta's hand and make him sit down the couch and asks him to explain what his painting mean to us. Peeta sits in between Prim and my mother. I excuse myself to go upstairs so that I can get ready for the day.

So I leave Peeta with the two girls and head upstairs.

As I make my way down the stairs again I can hear their conversation.

"So this was Katniss in District 8? She looked really nice with that dress and all." I hear Prim saying.

"I'll just go and make you some snacks Peeta." My mother offers.

"No Mrs-"

"I insist." And I hear my mother's footsteps heading to the kitchen.

"Katniss looks peaceful when she's sleeping." Prim starts saying. She might be looking at a painting of me sleeping.

"She does doesn't she?" I hear Peeta say.

"Yeah, she doesn't look worried about anything. Her face not looking tired from all her woes."

"I like to watch her sleep..."

"Do you sleep next to her Peeta?"

"Um...well, we did."

"She still has nightmares doesn't she?"

"Yes, she usually wakes up screaming. Some nights she cries."

"What do you do to make her feel better?" Prim asks Peeta, "Because she had another nightmare last night and it took a while to get her back to sleep."

That is true. It did take me a while. It didn't feel like it last night but thinking about it now I realize how long it took them to get me to lie back down and to close my eyes.

"I just rib her back and tell her that everything will be fine." Peeta answers.

Peeta doesn't just rub my back. He holds me and kisses me until I've stopped crying. He puts his arms around me and keeps me warm at night. Peeta doesn't just rub my back.

"How much do you love Katniss?"

"Much more than you can ever imagine Prim."

"More than a million?" Prim asks interestingly.

"More than a million."

"Billion?"

"Much more than that." he chuckles.

"Okay...let me guess...your love for my sister is...hm...everlasting?"

Peeta doesn't say anything.

"I heard some of people say "I want someone to love me like Peeta loves Katniss," in town once."

Instead of feeling guilt and loneliness, I smile. That sounds sweet. I don't think I can ever understand the way Peeta loves me.

"Really?" Peeta asks clearly shocked.

"Yeah, the ones you managed to convince. I told myself to tell you when you come back. Might uplift your heart a little bit."

"Thanks Prim."

"Peeta? Are you sometimes scared about what would happen? I mean, love is a scary thing. It can make or break a person."

"Sometimes. It crossed my mind but I try not to worry about it." He explains to Prim.

I take another step down the stairs and they heard me. "Katniss is coming." Prim says.

I've ruined it now. I keep walking down the stairs and I enter the living room.

"What are you two up to?" I ask Prim and Peeta who sits on the couch. They share a look when I ask the question.

"Nothing..." Prim says and she even shakes her head.

"Okay, where did mum go?"

"She went to get some snacks. Actually, I should go help her if she needs any help." Prim stands up and makes her way to the kitchen.

I take a seat next to Peeta. "What were you two talking about?" I ask him.

"She was just asking about the paintings."

"I nearly forgot about these." I say.

"Well lucky I didn't. You told them we're moving in yet?"

"No, but I think I'll tell them when we're having dinner."

Peeta nods, "How was your night?" He asks me.

"I didn't like it. It was cold and I felt so alone." I say.

"Me too. I couldn't sleep. But when I did I woke up moments after. I can't sleep without you Katniss. If I have a dream about losing you and I wake without you there I panic."

I look down at my lap. Sleeping without Peeta is harder than I thought.

"Snacks are here." Prim says excitingly. "Peeta, next time you bring bread could please bring more."

"Yes!" I say just as excited. "Please bring more of those cheese buns. I love them."

"Yeah sure. If you want them then I'll make them."

"Yay!" Prim shouts, "This calls for a celebration!"

Prim stands up and starts jumping around excitedly. Peeta eats some of the biscuits my mum set out for us and we watch Prim dance around. She looks so happy that I feel like crying because of the joy that I am feeling right now.

"Oh yes! I forgot, we do have somewhere to go today. We're supposed to help someone with a sick child down the Seam." My mum says suddenly.

"Oh yeah. Mrs. Judy." Prim says, "We need to go to her quick." Prim says.

"Dear me, how could I forget. Prim go get my supplies, we should go as soon as possible."

Prim runs up the stairs quickly. Her footsteps making a booming sound as she races.

"We'll have to leave you two for a while. We'll talk more later, it's just really important we get to Judy right away." Mum says as she puts on her coat and waits for Prim in the doorway.

"Okay then, have fun." I say.

After they've gone, Peeta and I try to think of something to do.

"Why don't we go out too? See the town." Peeta suggests.

Well there's nothing to do inside the house. I guess going out for some air can't hurt anybody.

"Okay, let's go." I say. Peeta and I start putting the paintings back in the box and then we make way for town.

It's nearly winter, a few more weeks then autumn will go. A few months after that The Hunger Games take place. As Peeta and I walk down the pathway.

"What do you think's going to happen when we're going to be mentoring?" I ask Peeta.

He looks in front of him and thinks. "I don't know. We're going to have to expect something to happen. It's the Quarter Quell; we're really going to expect something from that." He says.

"Does it worry you?"

"Well I don't want to do it. I don't want to go through what Haymitch goes through every year. To take care of children, teach them the best they can and maybe watch them die on live television. You can't help but feel guilty."

He's right. I never really thought of it like that. He takes my hand suddenly when we make a turn.

"You want to go to the bakery first. It's Sunday and it's closed. We could have it for ourselves, I have the key." He says.

"Doesn't your family live close?"

"Yeah but they go somewhere on Sundays. Don't know where though." He says.

"Then you can bake me some more of those cheese buns?" I ask him playfully.

"Yeah why not. Then can I have that squirrel for dinner?"

"Sure you can." I give his hand I squeeze. He gives my forehead a light kiss.

Peeta jingles the key into the door. He opens it with ease and we enter. Straight away the delicious smell of bread hits me. Peeta closes the door.

"I can't turn the light on. Someone might see then tell my mum."

"Okay," I say. It is quiet dark, the windows are covered and there's little lights coming through little gaps.

"Don't worry; I know this place inside out." And just as he says that he trips and lands with an oomph.

I guffaw as hard as I can. After that I don't know how to stop. He's somewhere on the floor, God knows where he is.

"You totally know this place inside out." I say once I've managed to stop. "Where are you?" I say.

There's no answer. Now he's just trying to scare me.

"Come on Peeta. Get up and bake me that bread." I say and again there's no answer.

"Peeta…" I whisper. "Where are you?"

Now he wants to play a game. Alright then.

I step forward, trying to make it inaudible as I can. I move my arms around to try and find somewhere to hide. My hand touches some sort of hardwood plank. I follow the edges and once I have figured out it's some sort of counter I kneel down, hiding behind it. As I peek through the side I could just make out a few things around the bakery but I don't see Peeta. Not even a silhouette or a shadow.

He's somewhere. And when I see him I'll scare him so bad he'll crash again. I wait and I wait but I can't hear a sound nor see any sign of him. I hold my place; I shouldn't try to get worried or even scared. Suddenly I hear I hear a sound. A sound of fidgetiness and moving, my own feet shuffles and I stand up just a little bit.

I start to move to where I heard that sound when suddenly Peeta screams a loud "BOO!"

I jump and yell at the same time. Peeta was where I was heading to, where the sound came from but he just decided to jump and scare me. I fall to the ground trying to catch my breath.

Now it's his turn to laugh. He laughs so hard that he crawls to me to see if I was okay. I watch him crawl to me and I start laughing at his ways as well. His laughing calms down a little bit once his closer to me.

"Are you okay now?" I ask him.

"Yeah. Yeah I'm getting better." He says and then he moves closer. As he does I lean back and lie on the floor with him hovering over me.

"I was waiting for you to show up." He says. I can't really see him but I can make out his face.

"I was doing the same thing." I say.

"I couldn't see and I hit whatever I hit. Then I saw your silhouette and I decided to just scare you. Well I did." He says and starts laughing again.

"Okay stop now." I say and start giggling.

"I can't see you Katniss." He says.

"Yeah and I can't see you too." I say.

"I want to kiss you but I can't see." He explains and I smile.

His hand searches my face until his finger finds my lips.

"Well that's just too bad then isn't it?" I say and not a second later his lips are on mine.

Peeta really can't help himself. Every opportunity he gets, he goes for it. I can't say that I don't miss Peeta's kisses because as soon as his lip touches mine I hold onto his face and smile. I kiss him with just as much intensity, at this point, I have no idea what has come over me. I never knew that kissing Peeta would be such a serious thing.

He breaks our kiss, "I've missed you." He says.

"It's only been one night." I tell him.

"I know but…it was like learning how to live all by yourself all over again." He explains.

For some stupid reason; I blush. He kisses me again and it takes a while for me to kiss him back. I don't know why. I shower his lips with little kisses that make him smile and groan all at the same time.

"Katniss! I want to kiss you!" He complains.

"You are." I say giggling.

"No, like really kiss you."

"Gee…I don't know Peeta. I mean…I really want some of tho-" Peeta stops my talking by kissing me and because we can't see his lips land on my bottom lip.

I really want those cheese buns. That was what I wanted to tell him but he was so impatient that he just decided to kiss me.

Why not right? Why would he not kiss me after all those times of wishing he would?

It's like his dream. I just want to make him happy. But I really crave for those cheese buns.

"Peeta…" I manage to say.

"Yeah?"

"Cheese…buns…"

"What about them?" He stops kissing me and I can tell that his impatient.

"We came here to bake remember?" I tell him.

"But Katniss!" He whines.

"But Peeta." I mimic him, "Plus the hardwood floor is making my back ache." I lie, the floor is quiet comfortable.

"Oh but…fine." He gets up and helps me as well. We find our way to the kitchen and he turns the light on there because no one would be able to see outside. He gets some trays from cupboards and ingredients as well.

"Alright Katniss, could you please…get some bowls some spoons to mix with." He tells me and I walk and scan around the room until I finally found it. It didn't take me long; I found some in a few seconds. I take them to Peeta and he tells me to stand in front of him. From then on he starts instructing me on what to do. He tells me to put things like the flour, eggs and butter into the bowl. He helps me mix and in no time at all we've made dough.

"What about the cheese?" I ask him intolerantly.

"Patience Katniss. Patience."

So then, Peeta and I start shaping them and he shows me step by step. We laugh at our mistakes, my poor attempt of shaping the dough and we just have fun. No matter how many mistakes I make , Peeta is patient with me. When we've finally put the dough in the oven; Peeta and I sit on the floor waiting for it to bake.

"We should take some home for Prim as well." I say to Peeta.

"Yeah. I think we've made enough." Peeta says happily and then I find him staring at me not a minute later. I turn my head to look at him and he smiles at me. He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear and his smile drops a little and he relaxes.

"I always thought about maybe taking you in here someday. When I suddenly see Prim outside looking at the cakes and my mum wasn't around, I would try to get her something but then you would show up then I'd get scared. Whenever you and Prim would come by I would just watch the both of you, memorize everything I could. That's what I did every year, every time you came by and there wasn't a day where I would miss it." He says with a smile.

"Then all of a sudden I'm baking bread with you and it's just…" He stops talking and he takes a breath.

"I don't want to wake up Katniss. Wake up and find out that everything is just a dream. What if it is you know? All of this, you and me. It must be." He says.

I don't like seeing Peeta doing this, where his doubting everything. It just goes to show how hard it is to love someone so much. I just want him to be happy once and for all.

But how can we be happy in this kind of place that we live in?

How can learn to cherish what we have when we get nothing at all?

For now, love is the only that can make us happy. I can see it now; I can see how love can rise your hopes of tomorrow and how it can break you into a million pieces. Like my mother for instance, until now, she's still a broken glass being glued together piece by piece. I can see how much Gale loves his family that as soon as his dad died he took in his place. He would sacrifice anything for them. For Peeta, his love for me is the only thing that can make him happy and the one thing that can break him as well.

I have to be careful now, because I know that if I make one false move Peeta might just end up like my mum.

Unfixable. Lonely. Heartbroken.

I care a lot about Peeta and I don't want any of this to happen to him. At first I didn't care, but after what we've been through in the tour, I can't just pretend that none of that ever happened. I can't pretend that I don't know how much Peeta loves me, I might not understand it and I might not see it like everyone else but I can feel it.

By the way Peeta holds me, kisses me and looks at me. I can feel something inside that stirs, something to do with him. I can't pretend that I haven't figured that out during the tour. I have to care about Peeta, because that's what he would do for me. I don't want to be unfair to him. And I don't want to hurt him any longer.

One false move Katniss. One false move…

"Peeta it's not a dream. It can't be. You can't say that because I don't want to wake up and find out that all of this…" I point around us, "Never happened."

"That the sunset, the sunrises, the stars in District 1 and the laughs we've shared never happened. It would just suck if it was a dream." I say and Peeta gives me that look again.

Where it doesn't look like he believes me. As if I drank something that made me say something like this. I don't want him to keep thinking that everytime I say something from my heart.

"I just don't want to wake up and find that you're gone Katniss. I don't want this to be a dream." He says and his eyes shine with such loneliness that I start to feel guilty.

"Remember that promise we made Peeta? Where you would never leave me and I would never leave you?" I scoot closer to him. "Peeta it's a promise I'm willing to keep. I will never leave you, no matter how hard it gets. You just have to believe that."

Peeta smiles a little, the little twinkle in his eye gone. "I'll never leave you Katniss." He says and leans in to me and kisses me again. I feel my stomach give a little jump of joy.

I just feel happy.

Peeta and I wait until the oven has let out that sound that meant that the buns have been baked. Peeta gets a glove and gets the tray out of the hot oven. Once I smell the sweet scent of cheese my mouth waters.

"We have to wait for it cool down a little bit." Peeta says and I get a little disappointed.

"How long?"

"Maybe, 5 to 8 minutes."

"Do you really think I can hold my craving for the long?" I ask him sarcastically.

"You'll just have to be patient Katniss."

I frown, I really just want to grab those buns and shove them all in my mouth. "Can we do something then while we wait?" I ask him.

"Well…we could continue what we were doing a while ago."

"No." I shake my head.

"Yes." He says pretty straight forward.

"No Peeta. Kissing is disgusting." I say and out my hands on my hips looking like a small child trying to prove her point.

"You do it." He says with a smile.

"I still find it gross though."

"Come here." He says and puts his arms out.

"I don't want to kiss though Peeta."

"You know you want to." He shuffles closer.

"No. Stay where you are." I point my finger at him.

He takes a few steps closer to me and I step back. He has a cheeky smile on his lips.

"Come on Katniss."

I give him a serious look but he just smiles wider and steps closer.

"I'm coming." He says and makes a quick on me but I'm too quick for him. I turn and run to the other side.

Soon enough, we're chasing each other around the kitchen.

"Katniss come here." He says and I push the door open and run out of the kitchen. The door closes automatically so when I make it of the kitchen and the door closes; I can't see a thing at all.

The lights are the only lights on the kitchen and so I quickly and cautiously walk around the room. The kitchen door opens and light fills the room and Peeta stands there looking at me. I smile and make a run for it while I can still see. As soon as Peeta runs after me the door closes and I quickly find a place to hide. I do eventually and I hear Peeta move around trying to find me.

"I'll get you Katniss." He says somewhere at the back.

I decided to move places, so I quickly stand and make a quick run to the other side but then I sense Peeta near me and before I can move his arms have taken around my waist.

"Gotcha." He says and starts chuckling. "Yes!" He says in triumph.

My hands go around his shoulder for balance because I nearly fell.

"Fine, you caught me Peeta. Now can we see if the buns have cooled?"

"Give it a few more minutes." He says in the darkness. I can hear Peeta but I can't see him. Its pitch black and we're further up the back of the bakery that's why the sun rays from the windows can't reach us.

Just as I'd though, Peeta kisses me. His aim was perfect because despite the room not being lit up his lips land right on mine. I kiss him back and it's like a competition between Peeta and I if we keep going on at this rate.

We kiss as if we're trying to prove whose better. A moan escapes my throat before I can stop it and Peeta holds me closer.

I push him away because I'm breathless. "The buns." Are the only words that can come out of my mouth right now.

"Alright fine. We'll check them now." Peeta and I slowly follow the light coming out from the kitchen door gaps. We go in and as soon as I see the buns I run to the and hold onto one.

"They're warm enough to touch." I say excitedly at Peeta.

He smiles while his walking to me and when he grabs a bun I wait for his instructions.

"Let's eat then." The three words trigger it. I push the bun into the mouth and start eating it. Peeta watches with amusement and joins me afterwards.

"They're delicious." I comment with my mouth full.

"That's because you mixed them." He mumbles; his mouth just as full as mine.

Peeta and ate 2 each and left 8 buns for home. We pack the buns and start cleaning the mess we've made and by the time we finished we hear a clatter from the front of the bakery and we see the light go on.

"Stay here." Peeta says, his voice sounding cautious.

As soon as he reaches the kitchen door his mother appears.

"What are you doing here?" She asks harshly and Peeta looks at me. His mother turns her head and she looks at me.

She glares at me. If she was expecting me to somehow be afraid of her threatening look well she better think again. I'm not scared of her, instead I try to give her a nice smile.

"Peeta!" That was his brother who appears next. A big smile on his face as he sees his little brother.

"I'm not going to ask you again Peeta. What are you doing here?"

"Katniss and I were baking." He says calmly. He doesn't sound scared, I would've expected him to tremble a little bit but he doesn't.

"Well it looks like you were just done here. I think it's appropriate for you to leave now. And take that with you." She nods her head at me when she says the word 'that'. I see Peeta clench his fist.

"Mum don't sa-"

"Peeta I think you should leave now." She says, much more angrily.

Peeta gives me an apologetic look and I give him a small smile. I take my apron off and he does too. He grabs the bag with the buns and he takes my hand and we leave. As we pass his mother I catch Peeta giving her a glare and her mother simply took a sharp breath in.

"Bye Peeta." His brother says when we reach the front door.

"I'm sorry about that." Peeta apologizes when we turn away from the bakery.

"It's fine, at least we managed to bake some of those buns."

"No, seriously, I'm really sorry."

"It's fine Peeta." I put my hand on his cheek.

His unconvinced. I can just make out the shine of guiltiness in his eyes.

"Why don't we drop off these buns and take a walk down The Meadow." I tell him to cheer him up a little bit.

"Delly and I used to go there," He says and takes hold of my hand again and we start walking.

"What did you do when you were there?"

"We would just run around the dirt and dead grass. Play chasey, sometimes we would study there and that's about it."

* * *

"See, this is where Delly and I would make chalk paintings. It wasn't just here, we'd draw wherever we could." Peeta explains to me and points at the dark pathway just entering the Meadow.

"It's dead. This whole meadow thing. I don't even know why you want to come here Katniss." Peeta says.

"It was the only place I could think of. At least there are trees still alive. We could just sit under the shade."

"And do what?" He asks.

"Anything. I don't know…talk, I guess."

"Alright then." He gives in and we walk to the closest tree.

We sit down side by side and tell stories. Stories from our childhood, things we learnt growing up, friends and family. We laugh, we joke and we just talk to each other like any friends out there. We stay in the meadow until late afternoon and we walk back to my house.

"I should probably head home." Peeta says when we've reached my house's front porch.

"Why? Are you busy doing something?"

"Well no…but I don't want to bother the three of you."

"You don't bother us at all Peeta." Peeta and I jump.

That was Prim. We both look at the window near the front door and there she is. Looking through the open window; smiling.

"Prim, what are you doing?" I ask her.

"Eavesdropping. Was that not obvious enough." She asks sarcastically.

"It's not nice to eavesdrop Prim." I tell her even though I was eavesdropping on her and Peeta this morning.

"You should stay Peeta. We're supposed to eat dinner here remember?" Prim tells him. "But dinner is a few more hours from now. I'm pretty sure I can come back.

"No. Please stay?" Prim pleads and I give Peeta a begging look.

"Alright then. If you really want me to." Peeta says and once again, Prim cheers. She disappears suddenly to later open the door for us.

She ushers us inside and we all sit on the couch in the living room. My mother comes out a second later.

"Oh you two are back!" She says in surprise, "We were wondering where you went. By the way Katniss, because it's Sunday and mostly everything is closed and it's the only time people get their days off."

I know what my mother is trying to say. I get it, I almost forgot that it's Sunday.

Sunday. The bakery's closed, people roam town and the mine is the only place open. But it's Sunday and Gale has days off on Sundays. He would've been in the woods, possibly waiting for me. But I spent the day with Peeta, he might've been really disappointed that I didn't show up. He might think that I've abandoned him, that I don't care about seeing him on Sundays anymore.

"I invited the Hawthornes for dinner." My mum says and I don't look to shock because I already found out. Why would I be shocked anyway, the Hawthornes are family.

The only thing I'm worried about is Gale and Peeta. Speaking of Peeta, I feel him tense beside me.

"That's good." I simply reply.

"Peeta you're welcome for dinner as well." My mother says and I see her look at Peeta worriedly, "Or…if you have other plans then…you don't have to. But I would really like it if you joined us for dinner." My mother says and I know why she said that. She might be thinking the same thing that I am about Gale and Peeta.

I think everyone in the room is thinking about that right now.

"Thank you Mrs. Everdeen." He says.

"You can call me mum if you like, after all, you and Katniss are getting married." My mother says and everyone looks at her.

Did she just tell Peeta to call her mum?

Since when was my mother fit enough to make such an offer. I thought my mum was still trying to heal. But I give her a silent thank you and I smile at her.

Maybe Peeta never really had a mother who cared. He had a mother who took care of him and taught him valuable things but not really one that would listen and talk. Now I'm not saying that my mother is that woman. I'm just wondering.

"I haven't spoken to Gale in ages." Prim says, "When we invite them over sometimes on Sundays, Gale barely comes. But I'm pretty sure his going to be coming tonight seeing as you're back anyway."

I look at Peeta to see hoe his feeling but he's smiling at Prim telling her story.

Well a smiling Peeta is always a good sign.

* * *

When Gale walks through that door I feel a smile tug on my lips. My mother gives Hazel a hug and Prim goes to Vick, Rory and Posy straight away and leading them somewhere in the house. They're probably going to go play or something. I go and give Gale a hug and he holds me. When we let go Gale looks at Peeta over my shoulders and I turn to look at him. A smile on his face, "Hey." Peeta says to Gale and when I look at Gale a small smile appears in his lips.

"Hello." Gale says simply.

"Well dinner is just ready actually. We have everything prepared and ready to go." My mother says to Hazel.

While we head into the dining room, mum calls the kids. We all take a seat and I take mine next to Peeta. I'm in between Vick and Peeta now and Vick smiles at me once he sees me.

"You looked really nice in those dresses Katniss." Vick says.

"Thank you."

"And Peeta was really funny. He was drunk and everything." Vick says as he looks at Peeta and Peeta laughs.

"I'm never drinking again." He says.

"Well let's eat then." My mother says and we start on our food straight away.

In the middle of dinner Peeta announces that we're moving in together and I see Gale stiffen. My mother gives an approval speech. We all know what's going on between me and Peeta.

They didn't have to ask why because they understand. They simply just smile and we continue our conversation.

Once we've finished eating the children fix the table and wash all the dishes. Peeta offers to help and I leave him with the kids. It's better if Peeta helps them anyway, in case they do anything wrong. I make my way out the front porch and I lean on the railing staring out at the sky.

"I didn't have a good enough aim on that deer and it managed to run away." I hear Gale say behind me and I turn around to look at him.

"I'm sorry I didn't make it." I say.

"it's fine, I don't mind. You do need to spend time with your fiancé right?" He says.

"Gale it's not what you think-"

He cuts me off, "This is too far Katniss. Now I'm not stupid, I know this is all a hoax but I think you two are taking things a little more seriously here."

"It was the only thing we were able to think of." I say.

"To get married? Katniss you don't want to get married. Are you seriously offering your future up for him?"

"We did it to protect you and your family too Gale."

"Protect us? From what?"

"From Snow of course. Gale, people in the Districts weren't convinced properly. Somehow, me pulling out those berries triggered people's bravery and Snow was scared of an uprising happening."

Actually it has already happened. Back in the mayor's mansion, when I was going around I saw District 8 in one of his monitors.

"An uprising? An uprising was our only way to freedom Katniss." Gale says.

"No Gale…" I hesitate, "We didn't succeed anyway, there's already an uprising in 8 and because this has happened. I worry about your family's safety and mine. Snow could jump at us in any second now Gale."

His silent for a while, "Are you going to call it off?"

"Call what off?"

"The marriage…seeing as you haven't convinced them properly anyways."

"No…now we can't do that. It's been done; we can't just say that our love wasn't real just because of an uprising."

"I don't understand you Katniss. I thought you didn't love him."

"Gale I…don't." My voice fades.

"Then why marry someone you don't love? Then moving in together, what the hell Katniss?"

"I did it to protect you and your goddamn family." I spit at him.

"I just don't want you to throw away what we have Katniss. I don't want you to do that."

Now it's my turn to be silent. "You…Vick, Rory and Posy are family to me Gale. I wouldn't trade anything else in the world in exchange to get rid of you."

"What about Peeta? Would you trade him for us?"

"What kind of question is that Gale?" I ask him disbelievingly. "Peeta means something to me too thank you very much. I care about him as much as I care about you, you have no right to say things like that."

"Oh you care about him now? You wanted him dead in the Games didn't you?"

"Gale shut it. Look I know you're angry but you can't just come here and safe things like that."

His mouth closes to a thin line. "I just don't want you to get hurt Katniss."

"He's not hurting me; you know what, more than anything his taking care of me." I say.

"Hopefully you come next Sunday Katniss." He says and goes back inside the house.

We spend the rest of the night talking and they ask us about the tour and everything we saw. We stayed of the topic of any romance and just had a normal conversation.

We say goodbye to the Hawthornes and I refuse to have any contact with Gale when they leave. Prim, mum and Peeta go inside and I watch them walk down the pathway I can hear Vick's excited voice talking loudly as I watch.

"Prim showed us all these paintings that Peeta draws! They were so cool. An when we were fixing all the dishes he showed us a little trick with the plates. He like balanced them on top of each other and made like a dome or something!"

"Yeah! He even made bubbles out of the soup through his hands," Rory continues for Vick.

"You sounded like you had fun…" Hazel's voice fades as they get further.

I smile at their story, Peeta's great with kids. His so likeable that it's almost impossible to hate him. I wonder what Peeta would be like as a father in the future. He would be so kind and gentle to them, showing them how to draw and bake. He would make a great father.

"Katniss…I'm going now." I hear Peeta say behind me and I turn.

"Oh," I say disappointingly. I want to tell him to stay but Prim and my mother might feel weird about it again.

"Well I'll see you tomorrow and I'll drop off some more bread." He says.

"Next time, we could just bake in your house or mine. We do have ovens you know."

He smiles, "Yeah we do."

He kisses my cheek and says another goodbye. I watch him walk down to his house and he waves at me once he has reached his front porch. I wave back and enter my own house.

This time, I fall asleep faster than last night but I don't wake up screaming. I wake up crying because of my nightmare. I sob for a few minutes until I manage to calm myself down. After that, I don't fall back asleep after what feels like hours.

* * *

_Whoa! That was long! _

_I deeply apologize for any grammar mistakes._

_I'll try to get the next chapter as fast as I can but you guys know how schoolwork is right? Just be patient with me alright._

_The next chapter might come again in 5 days because I write these chapters nice and long for you guys._

_Please review. I beg you._

_Thank you for reading! I love you all!_

RestlessIdeas


	17. Snakes and Ladders

_Yay! I got this one finished a little earlier. Sorry for making you wait like, 2 or 4 days. I don't know. _

_Thank you to the reviewers. Mwah!_

_Enjoy this readers._

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN THE HUNGER GAMES.**

* * *

_**CHAPTER SEVENTEEN: SNAKES AND LADDERS**_

A few days after that Sunday, on Wednesday to be precise, I moved in with Peeta. Haymitch, Prim, my mother, Peeta and I all moved my stuff to his house. There were no furniture's that needed moving, just my things. I decided to leave Peeta's painting with my mother and Prim and they hanged it up all around the house.

All I needed were my clothes and all my other junk. Just a few hours after moving we were on television. Just a little update about the star crossed lovers from District 12.

I sleep in the same room as Peeta because on the first night we put all my clothes and things on one room all for me. But I wake screaming that night and Peeta carries me to his bed. And this morning I move all my things to his room.

Peeta lies down on the bed and watch me fold and put my clothes away.

"It would be better if you would actually help rather than lie down and watch me." I mutter to him.

"I would really like to help you Katniss but I prefer watching you move around the way that you do." He says behind me.

"Fine then. Just be the mean and lazy Peeta that you are," I say with some sad and disappointed expression.

"Oh really Katniss?" He asks sarcastically and then I hear him moving around the bed behind me. I know he's going to help me now or maybe just come to me and annoy me or something.

"Fine I'll help you Katniss. I'll do it because I just love you that much." And then he sits beside and starts folding some shirts.

After that Peeta goes straight into the underwear and he points them out to me once he takes them.

"Give me that!" I snatch it away from him. "All the underwear clothing Peeta. Don't you dare fold them. Just leave them to me."

"But Katniss, they're easier than shirts and pants."

"I know Peeta, but it will save me from the embarrassment." I say with a smile.

"Fine, be the mean and lazy Katniss that you are." He says.

"Just get folding."

It doesn't take 5 minutes until Peeta has found some other underwear, "Oh so the Capitol let you keep their bras then?" He asks me then he bursts out laughing.

Again, I try to snatch it from him but he pulls it back away from me.

"Ah Katniss, now let's be nice."

"Give it back." I say seriously.

"But Katniss...am I not allowed to look at my fiancés underwear?"

"Peeta don't start with me…"

"Can I at least fold it?"

I scowl at him and he smiles back. I get it off his hands and we continue. Peeta laughs at his little joke and I can't help but smile.

"Alright, we're done Katniss." Peeta says and closes the wardrobe.

I yawn, "I'm tired. Why don't I take a nap?" I say and start walking towards the bed.

"What? But Katniss, it's like 11 am."

"3 pm actually." I correct him and go under the covers.

"Katniss…" Peeta whines, "What am I supposed to do?"

"Wake me up for dinner I guess." I mumble tiredly.

"So I'm cooking tonight then?"

"If I don't wake up earlier." I say and my eyes close.

I hear Peeta say and I can feel him watching me. Soon, I feel getting in bed with me.

"Are you going to sleep too Peeta?" I ask him tiredly and open my eyes.

"No, I'll just lie down with you until I think of what I want to do while you sleep." He says and he pulls the covers up and lies down next to me. I watch him get comfortable and once he is, he lies down and we face each other.

"Hold me until I fall asleep okay?" I ask him.

"Sure." He says happily and his arms go around me once again. Holding me tight and flush against him.

I smile when I smell the cinnamon. "You smell nice," I comment.

"You do too." He says and kisses the top of my head.

I sigh and snuggle into his embrace. The warmth and the security lull me to sleep.

Napping is still sleeping and as usual I have a dream. A nightmare…all the time. This time it's worse, I feel so alone, abandoned and lonely. It's the worst feeling in the world. I hear whispers in my ear, my loved ones screaming for help, I cry and I weep but no one comes. I sit there, completely alone with no one to hold me. Then suddenly I hear someone running to me. But it sounds like an animal is coming at me, I look in front of me with tears in my eyes and at first I see Rue's brown eyes from the distance. Then the room brightens up a little and I can see the mutt. Running to me at full speed, I try to move but I can't, I try to scream but I can't, the only thing I can do is cry and whimper. As soon as the mutts jaws open and it comes at me I wake with a thundering scream full of fear and loss.

Tears are already in my eyes and not a second later Peeta barges in the room and his by my side. I cling onto him, not wanting to let go…ever.

"P-Peeta. I-I-I j-just wan-want the-them t-to stop." I make out. "I-I-I j-j-just want them to-to end." I say breathlessly.

Peeta rubs my back and soothes me with his words and reminder of it being just a dream.

"Katniss it's not real. It's just a nightmare."

"Y-yes it is-is Peeta, I-I wa-was attacked b-by that m-mutt. I wa-was alone an-and no one c-came fo-for me. Y-you said you'd ne-never leave me-me Pee-Peeta, we-where were y-you?" I sob even harder and I might've already drenched a part of his shirt.

"Katniss, I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere. Katniss it's okay…shh…"

I say no more, I hid my face into Peeta's neck and continue crying. I can still feel the painful stab in my heart. It hurts, even though it was a nightmare, it still scared the living out of me. I start shaking and Peeta gets the blanket and puts it around my shoulders, not letting go of me once. I wrap my arms tighter around his neck.

After what feels like hours, my hiccups have settled down but tears are still falling. Peeta holds me tightly and tenderly. Rubbing my back and giving me soothing words as he calms me down. Soon I relax into his embrace and I just lean on his chest.

"Peeta?"

"Hm…"

"How bad are your nightmares?"

"It depends, if you're not here then they're worse. But if you are and I know you're beside me then I guess it doesn't get really scary. I've seen how bad nightmares can get; I used to get them every day until I started sleeping with you." He continues to rub my back smoothly.

"I hate them," I say and Peeta chuckles softly.

"Who doesn't."

"I've just about finished cooking dinner, we could go down and eat now if you want." He says.

I lean back and look at him with a smile. "Carry me." I say as nice as I can.

"Alright then, I'll do it because I'm nice." His arms go under my knees and on my back. I'm amazed at how easy Peeta picked me up and I remember how strong he is. He carries me downstairs and sets me down on a chair at the dining table.

After that, Peeta does to one of the cupboards and takes out 2 plates then goes to a drawer and grabs some spoon. He sets the plate in front of me and put the other next to me.

"What are we having?" I ask.

"Chicken, fried chicken." He says and then gets the plate full of the fried chicken drumsticks and places them on the table. "And soup." He says.

"What soup?"

"I don't really know, maybe beef."

"Did you make it?"

"No, Rory and Prim came in here and offered them to me."

"Rory and Prim?" I ask again.

"Yeah, I was thinking of cooking the rabbit that Gale dropped by-"

"Gale dropped by?" I ask clearly shocked.

"Yeah, I told him to keep it but he said that you like rabbit as well."

"Where did mum get the rabbit from them?"

"Probably from the butcher." He says and takes a seat next to me.

"Didn't Gale have work?"

"I don't know, it was just a while ago actually. Right after I heard you screaming, I just reacted and ran as quickly as I could. I don't know if Gale did though." He says.

Gale actually knocked on that door. I can't believe he managed to do that no matter how mad he was about our moving in together business.

"Peeta I was upstairs. I'm pretty sure that if Gale heard it, he might've though it was from another area. My scream would've been very faint."

"I'm just glad you were okay," His arm goes around the chair and he kisses my temple.

"Let's eat." He says after wards.

Peeta and I mostly do everything together but Peeta usually volunteers to do everything because he's just that much of a gentlemen. But I help him anyway because I don't want to sit on the couch watching boring Capitol news updates while I wait for him to finish.

I help him fix the table and we wash the dishes together. Sometimes we have bubble competitions together. It's where we use our hands as the ring and the dishwashing liquid as our bubbles. Peeta's better at it because he's done it tons of times. He knows how hard he should blow or not. So most of the times get makes the biggest ones. I remember on that Sunday when Vick was talking about Peeta making bubbles like these. As old as I am, it's so much fun because I have never done it before. We couldn't really afford any dishwashing liquids so we just use water and any old cloth as our scrub.

After we do all that Peeta and I think of what we want to do next. We usually sit in the couch with the TV on and have conversations and that's what we're doing right now.

"I really hate Caesar's hair in this." Peeta comments while we watch Caesar on the television.

"Yeah," I agree, "It's all over the place."

"All they talk about out fashion, The Games, what's new and us. There is absolutely nothing interesting."

"Well they do hid the truth from everybody." I say remembering the uprising in District 8.

"True."

"You know how to play chess?" He asks me and I shake my head.

"No, not really."

"Hm…well, my brother and I once found this game called snakes and ladders somewhere around the bushes and the instructions were clear for us to read. I have it in the study, why don't we play that."

"Snakes and ladders?" I ask curiously, why in the world would people call a game 'Snakes and Ladders.' They don't even sound compatible, a board game about snakes and ladders.

"Well?"

"I guess so, I'm curious anyway."

Peeta gets up and goes to the study room and I stare at Caesar's smiling face but I'm not even listening. Peeta comes out a few minutes later and his carrying a small square piece of cardboard I think and I few really small items in a small transparent plastic bag.

He places the square cardboard down and I see snakes, tiles with numbers and, of course, ladders. He takes the dice out and two small smooth and shiny rocks. One of the rocks is colored white like a gem and the other is just a dark grey color of a rock.

"So, what we do is we roll the dice. However many numbers come up, that's how many spaces or tiles you're going to move forward by. You with me so far?" He says, trying to sound like a professional teacher.

I roll my eyes, "Yes Peeta, yes."

"Okay, now to the point of the game, the snakes and the ladders. Well it's pretty simple, if you land on one side of the ladder go get to follow it up to whichever space it takes you and if you land on a snakes venomous mouth, you follow it down to its tall." Peeta says and looks at me for confirmation.

"And the person that reaches the finish line wins?" I ask him.

"Yep." He nods.

"Let's go then." I say and I roll the dice first. I get a four and land at a ladder. Peeta rolls next and gets a three.

Throughout the game, I go up the ladder and down the snake. Everytime Peeta gets in front of me, my eagerness on winning rises and Peeta just laughs at my confidence. Karma comes back and hits him hard making him land on a snake and going back at the bottom.

"1…2…3…4…5! I win!" I yell at Peeta's face.

He lets out a disappointing grunt but smiles anyways, "I never win at this game. I have never one once and my brothers and I played this game tens of thousands of times." He says and my happiness drops just a little bit.

"Well then I should've let you win. I feel guilty now," I say sounding a bit upset.

"Why?"

"Because…you said you ever won."

"Who cares? What's important was that it was a fair game and that _you _won Katniss."

"But still Peeta."

"Don't worry about it," he says

I smile at Peeta's patience and kindness. "Were you ever disappointed at your brothers winning all the times instead of you?"

"Well…at first, but I kinda got used to it. It's a normal thing, it doesn't hurt me much." He says and starts packing the board game up.

Again, Peeta leaves to the study and I stand up and walk out to the front porch. When I open the door cold breeze hits me. I leave the door open and watch the nearly dark sky. The sun is still setting but it will be dark very soon.

I find myself smiling and thinking back to District 4 when Peeta and I watch a sunset on the beach. I have to admit, it is one of the most exciting moments of my life. How Peeta was so excited and how happy he looked. How easily carried me on his back while we make our way to the beach and our kiss…

Our kiss. I remember it precisely. Especially that curious feeling I got in the cave last year. I didn't feel that when Gale kissed me that one time. I just want to know what's it's supposed to mean, I only feel that when we kiss. And kissing just has to do something with love and I'm scared of falling in love. I've seen what it can do to my mum, how it can lead to marriage and then children. If we didn't live in a place like these I would love to have children but I'm scared for them. I'm not scared _of _them, I'm scared _for_ them. I know how it felt like to watch Prim's name get reaped and it's the scariest thing in the world.

For my mother, it might've been worse. First she loses her husband and to lose one of her daughters, it would kill her completely. She probably wouldn't be able to look at anyone. I don't want to have a child and then have them get reaped if they do. Now that I know how the Games are and how I feel I don't want my children to go through the same thing. No one wants their children to go through it. No one.

A second later I can feel Peeta heavy footsteps and I stop my thoughts. I don't turn around to see where he is I just stare at the very dark blue sky. It's getting dark and the sun will set completely in just a couple of minutes.

"What are you doing out here? It's cold." His voice sounds soothing.

I turn my head around and Peeta stands at the door way smiling at him. I smile and turn my head to look back at the sky.

"I'm just thinking."

Not a second later Peeta's arms go around me from behind and he look at the horizon as well.

"About?" He asks.

"Just…things. Children and stuff." I say boldly.

"Oh…really?" He might've thought that I was thinking about something else because I don't really talk a lot about these kinds of things.

"Do you want children Peeta?" I know now that I have taken him by surprise because who wouldn't be surprised about Katniss Everdeen talking to them about kids.

"Uhm…yeah…actually…I can't wait." He stumbles on his words.

If Peeta wants children then who's going to give it to him.

"Peeta…" I take hold onto his hand which is around my stomach and I hold onto them because I don't want him to let go. "I can't give them to you. You know that right?"

Just as I thought, Peeta would try to let me go but when I feel the tug on his arms I hold onto his hands tightly.

His quiet now, but his breathing is even.

"I'm scared to have them you know? I don't want to see them in the Games or spend every reaping year worrying about it," Peeta says his voice hollow. "You would make a great mother Katniss. I see how you can take care of Prim and how she is such a nice girl. You'd make a beautiful mother."

I take a deep breathe in. It's not me that's going to be a great parent, I know that Peeta will definitely be the best father in the world.

"You're going to have children Peeta. One day, I know you will. You'll be chasing them in the meadow and teach them how to bake bread like how you taught me on Sunday." I say with a smile on my face. I could just picture Peeta's children, with blonde hair and blue eyes like him.

I feel him stiffen and his arms aren't relaxed anymore, I felt like I did something wrong. And then I hear him sniff.

"Peeta?" I turn around while I'm still held by him and Peeta looks at me with a sad expression. "Peeta, Peeta I'm sorry."

I caress Peeta's cheeks and then I feel his tears on my thumb and I wipe them away quickly.

"Peeta talk to me. Please."

"Will I really have kids one day Katniss?" He asks, the sadness in his voice can be heard perfectly.

"Of course you will Peeta. You would make a great father." I finish that sentence and Peeta starts sobbing.

What did I do?

Peeta then hugs me and he burrows his head and cries into my hair.

"Please don't say it like that Katniss. I don't want to lose you Katniss, if-if you s-say it like that then that means-" he stops there and I start rubbing his back.

"It means what Peeta?"

"I don't want to l-lose you Katniss. If you don't want children then that's fine b-but don't say that I will b-because…"

I don't understand what he's trying to say.

"Because I don't want to lose you Katniss." He whimpers and he continues sobbing. I want him to stop crying. I pull him back and wipe his tears away.

"It's okay Peeta. Shhh…"

"You won't leave me right Katniss?" He says while he has the hiccups.

"No, we made a promise remember?"

I dry Peeta's face and I take him inside but he still sniffs.

"Um…I-I-I'll go and t-take a shower." He says and he walks slowly up the stairs. He looks so upset and I feel so guilty. I don't know what I did, I feel so bad that I sit on the couch and think really really hard about what he has said.

Suddenly all his words make sense to me. How he tells me not to say it the way I did and how he doesn't want to lose me.

It scared Peeta, the thought of losing me and telling him that I don't want children and that he will one day, it scared him. If I say it like that he thinks that one day I'll abandon him, run off with someone else. Force him to be some other girl and have kids with her. That's why he's scared, that's why he cried. Scared of me not being in his future, scared to lose me.

Why did I just let those things come out of my mouth without realizing how they can hurt Peeta?

Why do _I_ have to be so stupid?

I sit on the couch feeling guilty and stupid while I wait for Peeta. I swear this whole love thing just gets do crazy that it plays with our heads almost all the time. Seeing Peeta cry is something that I hate looking at. I don't like seeing Peeta cry because he's such a strong person. He's famous for caring about people, loving them, making them happy and always being there when we need a shoulder to cry on.

I hate seeing Peeta cry…I hate it. Full stop.

I stand up quickly when I hear Peeta's booming footsteps. As soon as he reaches the bottom of the stairs I hug him. His hands envelope around me instantly holds me tight.

Peeta's hair is wet and he smells nice from his shower.

"Katniss I'm sorry," he's apologizing. He doesn't need to apologize because he has nothing to apologize about. "It was stupid for me to cry like that, I was probably making no sense to you." He sniffs.

"Peeta…I know what you mean. I'm sorry." I say and pull back to look at his face.

He opens his mouth to probably try to counteract what I just said because he doesn't like it if I blame myself for something. So before he can say anything I stop his lips with an affectionate kiss.

"Peeta I'm sorry. Don't believe whatever you were thinking, all those thing that made you feel afraid. Don't believe it because it's not true."

Peeta's eyes close and his head drops a little bit. The he looks at me and nods slightly.

"Okay Katniss…" He whispers.

I smile and something else is missing. "Now smile for me Peeta."

He manages a small smile and his blue eyes shine like they always do. I could just imagine Peeta's child, one with blue eyes. Peeta will have children one day, maybe not with me, but he will be happy.

But…as I look at his eyes I think about just looking at them every day and very night. I could live with looking at his eyes; I won't be able to make it through the day if I don't look at them though. How I open my eyes in the morning and always welcomed by his.

A new wave of feeling rushes through me. Something in me just made me feel it and think it.I want to be the only girl that looks at those eyes, the only one who wake up in the morning and when she opens her eyes she sees Peeta's happy face and stunning blue eyes. I don't want any other girl to sleep beside him but me. To be the mother to Peeta's child-

I shake my head, what am I thinking?

How could I think about not wanting to have children to being the mother to his child?

"Katniss? Are you okay?" His voice leads me out of my thoughts.

"What? Um, yeah."

He smiles at me and leans in to kiss me again. "You would make a great mother you know that?" Peeta reminds me again.

"No, both you and I know that you're better with children than I am." I smile widely then suddenly I frown when I think about Peeta being married to someone else.

What am I feeling?

What is this?

Is there actually something real that I'm feeling about Peeta?

I mean, it's really starting to confuse me now. Because I was just thinking of Peeta having children with some other girl to suddenly feeling disappointed. It has all happened so fast that I'm starting to wonder if I look at Peeta more than just a friend, more than just my knight in shining armour or the boy who holds me and loves me endlessly.

What if I feel something much deeper than that?

I don't want to think that, what Peeta and I have is harder than it already is. If I feel something for Peeta that's much deeper than what I already feel then that might mean that everything will be extra harder and extra confusing.

My thoughts stop again when Peeta's warm lips are on mine. Peeta always does this, when we're not saying anything, looking at each other and with me thinking, he kisses me. Because when he can see me furrow my brows even just a little bit he knows that my thoughts are killing me so he kisses me and hopes I stop thinking about that.

He uses it as a distraction for me to get away from my thoughts.

One this is clear though, I definitely feel something for him. Something I never felt before.

This time, I don't know how I'm going to control it.

* * *

_Hopefully you like that._

_Just tell me if you are disappointed or confused by reviewing and I'll answer in my author's note next update. Just make sure you leave like a little name if you do have questions. Just ask me if you are as confused as Katniss is._

_Please review. Tell me whether you like or do not like. _

_Please stay tuned until next chap. _

_:D_

RestlessIdeas


	18. I Love You

_Finally I got it done. This is kind of a random chapter really. But I think it will leave you very disappointed but don't hate me._

_Just read the chapter and you will find out._

_To that person that asked if Gale and Katniss were together because Katniss would change the subject when Peeta mentioned Gale, well, your question will now be answered.  
No, Katniss and Gale were never in a relationship. Katniss just didn't like talking about Gale with Peeta because he talks about him as if Katniss loves Gale and Katniss doesn't. Plus, she thinks of Gale as a brother not a boyfriend or anything like that._

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN THE HUNGER GAMES**

* * *

**CHAPTER EIGHTEEN: I LOVE YOU**

I can't control it.

Maybe I can. I just don't know how.

No matter what I do, Peeta seems to be the only thing on my mind. I also realized that I'm starting to be the one that makes the first move. Meaning, I'm the one that kisses him first, wraps my arms around him first and I just make the first moves. I could see the confusion in Peeta's face at times, how he looks at me and he even asked me if I was sick a few days ago due to my change of actions.

I went hunting with Gale on the next Sunday. We didn't talk much; he didn't mention Peeta or anything. Good. It should stay that way. The last things I need is Gale whining about that. Gale and I catch rabbits and squirrels and I offer everything we caught to him but he wants me to take at least one. Then I remember a conversation Peeta and I had about bread and squirrel, how I would cook some for him for dinner so I decided to take it. I come home that night and I couldn't be happier to see him.

We start getting phone calls from Effie. She just talks about our wedding and how they'll come in just a few weeks' time to try on some dresses. I hunt too, with or without Gale, and I don't care if the Capitol watches me. I really don't.

* * *

It's going to rain soon and after that it's probably going to snow. I can tell and I've just been hunting for an hour and a half. I grunt and stomp through the green trees and each twig breaking at my steps. I still have a long way to go until I reach the fence, probably another 30 minute walk and it's going to rain any second now. I can already hear the thunder.

As I take a look up at the sky raindrops hit my face. It gets heavier as the milliseconds go by.

I curse under my breath and that seemed to have made things worse. The rain starts pouring as hard as it can and I'm soaked. I run this time and I actually get closer to the fence, I can barely see It as well. The raindrops making my eyesight blurry.

I'm not complaining though, I like the rain. But I don't want to worry Peeta so I make a faster run for it. I reach the familiar tree where I had my bow and arrows; I crouch down and hide my weapons. I have to get home too, maybe some peacekeepers just happen to be on patrol and I might get caught. Another thing to worry Peeta.

This is what I'm talking about when I can't control it. I can't get Peeta out of my head, everything I do just has to equate to Peeta somehow. It's impossible for my head to stop thinking about him. I make a stand and jog to the fence. I bend down and get half of my body through. When I try to get my legs out though I moved a little too fast and my ankle twists in the wet and slippery snow and I fall. My bum landing on the rocky ground hard and it sends a painful wave of energy through my tailbone.

I let out a groan. My ankle leans on the fence line and it's throbbing with pain. I'm finding it hard to breath and I can't move. I sit like that for a few seconds, in pain, until I manage to stand up a little. I can't stand up straight, it hurts. I take a step, taking it easy, but I wince with every move.

Little by little I take tiny baby steps. I might as well try to take my time if I want to get home alive. I'm already soaked and now I'm starting to get cold. I do enjoy the rain, but not like this.

I continue taking tiny baby steps and my lips start trembling. I feel like I'm going to pass out soon because of the pain.

"Katniss!" It's muffle by the rain but I can still make out who it is. It's Peeta!

"Peeta?" I yell loudly and praying that he could hear me. I can't hold myself up any longer. I stand there in the rain, shivering and waiting.

"Katniss! What are you doing standing there?" He asks while running at me. He reaches me soon enough and I let out another wince because it's so painful.

"Are you okay? What happened? What's wrong?" He asks quickly and worriedly.

"Peeta, I can't walk. I'll explain later." I say, making my voice loud and clear. The rain isn't getting any nicer, I look at Peeta. Just as soaked as I am.

"Alright then. Let me carry you." He puts his hand on the lower part of my back and I let out a cry.

"What's wrong? Does it hurt there too?"

I bite my lip, hoping to dull the pain, and nod.

"Okay…um," Peeta scratches his head in the pouring rain. Soon his hands go under my knees and slowly he places his hand higher than where he touched me a while ago. He lifted me up nice and slow and I bit my tongue and squeezed my eyes shut as he carried me easily. I let my head fall into his shoulder and he walks nice and easy in the pouring rain. His ruching at the same time but everytime he makes a bump it hurts me.

My arms around Peeta's neck tightens as I get colder. It wouldn't do much help to be honest but I'm hurt and I just want to know that Peeta is with me.

I feel Peeta take larger strides and I open my eyes and see that we're going up to Victor's Village now. Peeta reaches the front porch of our house and the rain doesn't hit us anymore.

"It's okay Katniss. We're already here."

I can feel my lips trembling and I feel so tired. My eyes open again and the door opens. Peeta carries me inside and sets me down the couch slowly.

"We need to get you out of those clothes Katniss, just wait here."

I hear Peeta run somewhere and I'm left these trembling. My ankle is in a relaxed position but my tailbone is throbbing with pain.

Peeta moves fast for a boy who has an artificial leg. Soon I feel a warm towel wrap around me. He tries to get me to sit up but my tailbone objects.

"Katniss, you have to let me take your clothes off." He mumbles.

"J-J-J-Just do wh-whatever y-you ne-need to do P-P-Peeta." I tremble.

His hands are steady when he makes a move to take my shirt off. He does it with ease and starts drying me with the towel.

"I'm going to put a shirt over you now Katniss. It's a large one, just so that you're comfortable." I can feel the slight tremble in his voice and he might be cold as well.

Steadily, he puts the shirt over my head and keep my arms inside the shirt. I open my eyes and I manage a small smile. He smiles back and his hand goes under my shirt, unclasping my bra underneath.

He takes it off and that's when I decide to put my arms out through the sleeves. Next he quickly undoes my braid and dries it with the towel.

"You probably won't feel comfortable with me looking at you naked Katniss." He says softly.

I let out a quiet laugh.

"Now for your pants." He says and I give him a look.

He waits for my call and I manage a nod. "Will you be able to turn Katniss?"

"Let's t-try…" I mumble and I start to move, millimetre by millimetre. Peeta helps me and we manage to make turn so now I'm not lying sideways but lying straight. It hurt my tailbone quite a bit but at least I can manage.

I close my eyes and as Peeta moved to change my clothes. The only thing I try to remember and out in my head was how soft his hands were. It was the only thing that would stop me from feeling weird about it. I didn't think about him undressing me, I just stayed mindful about my injuries. I groaned if anything hurt and Peeta would move slower and much steadier.

After his gotten me out of the wet clothes and into the dry, he moves quickly to the telephone and I hear him mutter my mother's name.

"Katniss just got injured from when she was hunting. She's hurt and I might need you to take a look at her." He says into the phone.

My mother and Prim are just 2 or 3 houses away from us. Sure Peeta could run into the pouring rain and call them but using the telephone to call them instead is almost genius. I watch him from the couch and he put the phone down.

He looks at me and smiles the way he does. He grabs the blanket on one of the comforters and comes to me. I am still cold and Peeta seems to have made a note of that. He puts the blanket over me and I feel more comfortable.

"You're mother's coming," he says.

"So I've heard," I say with a little laugh.

He smiles but it drops afterwards, "You shouldn't hunt without anyone watching your back Katniss. Especially without Gale, what if something worse happened to you? I wouldn't be able to find you that easily you know."

I roll my eyes, "I know what I'm doing Peeta."

"Oh really?" He says sarcastically and points out my condition.

"Well…sometimes," I reply.

"Yeah, exactly." Peeta says with a smile and just then my mother and Prim walks through the door.

"Alright, what happened?"

"I hurt my tailbone and my ankle," I explain.

"What were you doing?" She asks me and Prim stands next to Peeta.

"I was hunting and I slipped…"

"On some ice?" Prim asks surprisingly.

"Yes little duck, yes."

"You shouldn't be hunting alone. It's snowing now, good thing you got in before the cold hit you." My mother says.

"She did get soaked but I changed her clothes," Peeta says and my mother gives him a small but thankful smile.

"You should go and get changed out of those clothes if you don't want to catch pneumonia." Peeta nods at my mother and goes upstairs.

Prim gives me something called morphling to numb the pain and my mother wraps my ankle in a bandage. The morhpling gets me drowsy.

Peeta comes down and my mother tells him to carry me back to bed and they say a goodbye and leave. At first I manage to stand and walk but the morphling gets me all relaxed and ready for sleep. Instead, Peeta picks me up and carries me upstairs.

Peeta puts me down on the bed and tucks me in. Before he can go I catch his hand.

I manage three words before I drift to sleep, "Stay with me."

I heard him mumble but I didn't understand what he said.

I wake up the next day with Peeta awake beside me and a very sore throat. I also woke up because, despite the heavy blanket, it's really really cold.

"Morning Katniss," he says happily.

"Your mother said that you should stay in bed for a while. Don't do anything excessive with your foot. No hunting or anything, just rest." He says straightforwardly.

"What? Well…how _long_ am I supposed to stay in bed?"

"She said at least for a few weeks, you know, just to be safe."

I sneeze soon after he says that then cough.

"Don't tell me you have a cold Katniss." He says.

"I don't know, maybe I do."

He feels my forehead and his face turns from confusion to worry.

"It's hot; you might have a fever Katniss."

I frown; I'll be weaker than ever then.

"But don't worry, I will transform myself from a baker to a doctor so that I have a reason to take care of you instead of you being stubborn and taking care of yourself."

"But Peeta, I can though. I'll just stay in bed and take my medicine."

"You're not allowed to walk Katniss. It's bad for your ankle and tailbone."

"But Peeta," I start to argue but he cuts me off by putting a finger to my lips.

"Call me Doctor Mellark," he says with a smile and I laugh.

"What? You don't like the new name?"

I continue laughing with no though of stopping. Doctor Mellark, where did that come from?

"I will take the job as your doctor, your cook and your cleaner until you are better," Peeta says with a smile on his face.

I watch him closely, trying to keep my face serious because I really feel my face about to burst with laughter.

"How does that sound?"

I nod happily and I give him a kiss. It's cut short when I accidentally move my ankle under the covers. I lean back with a painful groan. Before Peeta can say anything I open my mouth, "I'm fine. It's nothing."

"Don't you want to go down and eat breakfast now?"

I nod again and Peeta stands up. His arms move under me as he picks me up. Peeta carries me downstairs and sets me on a chair.

I smile happily when I see those all too familiar cheese buns on the table. I give Peeta an excited look and he chuckles.

"Here's your milk." He places a cup of warm milk in front of me and I lick my lips. He passes me the plate filled with cheese buns and I shove one down my throat straight away.

"Aren't you going to eat?" I ask with my mouth full.

"I already have. I got bored and afterwards and decide to lie in bed with you until you wake up." He takes the closest seat to me and smiles widely.

I give him a weird look and I continue eating. Peeta watches me with the most fascinated look he can muster. I put the cup in my mouth and I look at him through the foggy glass. I set the cup down and I look at him suspiciously.

"So…you watch me sleep and now you watch me eat my food as if it's the most entertaining thing on the world. To be honest, you have got to be the freakiest person I know. I mean, you're watching me with that huge smile on your face," I say to him.

He shrugs and just when I though his smile couldn't get wide enough, it does.

"I'm not entertaining Peeta. You know it," I say with and shove another bin in my mouth. "Now be a good monkey and do something useful." I say with my mouth full.

"I don't have anything to do but watch you and take care of you Katniss." He says.

I sigh and continue eating. When I finish, Peeta sets me down on the sofa and I start to feel tired again and even colder.

After 10 minutes of shivering, I feel Peeta put a blanket over me but it isn't enough.

"Peeta, sit with me." I say and he does. His arms go around me and we converse about anything really.

He calls my mum through the phone throughout the day asking about medicines and pain relievers. For my fever, Prim just dropped of some syrup they bought in town. It could help with my cough and sore throat but resting is the best we can do.

Everytime I cough or sneeze, it catches Peeta's attention. Every tiny moan from any sort of pain makes a reaction to him. He's so caring, making sure I get what I want and need even though it's only been a few hours since I wake up. I got to admit, he's a pretty good doctor.

I sit there, wrapped around 2 blankets because the 'doctor' insists, as Peeta lights the fireplace. It's cold in the house and we could use some more warmth.

"Aha! Finally! It's lighting up now Katniss, don't worry." He says.

"I never was Peeta. I never was."

"Just play along, don't ruin the fun." Peeta says and turns his head back to me. He stands and closes the lights and then sits down next to me.

He picks the blanket up and scoots closer, "it's cold isn't it?" He asks me.

"You don't say," I say, my voice already tired with fatigue. I yawn and my head drops on his shoulder.

"If you're tired Katniss, I can carry you to bed now."

I shake my head, "It would be too early for you to sleep. Then you'd just be laying there all night until you get tired."

I feel him shrug, "I don't mind, if you don't want me to leave the bed then I won't."

Suddenly I start feeling too hot, I put the blanket down so it's only up to my waist and cuddle closer to Peeta, which in return, irritates and hurts my tailbone. I groan again and I feel Peeta move.

"What wrong? Where does it hurt?" He asks quickly.

"No, it's okay. Just my tailbone."

"W-well, do you want me t-"

I cut him off, "I'm fine. Really I am."

I start trembling under the warm covers and Peeta holds me closer.

I start to think, what if cold nights were spent just like this? With Peeta and I sitting in front of the fireplace? Talking about anything.

Jus the two of us, not worrying about tomorrow, not caring about the Games or anything. Just like when we were back at the tour, when we would watch the sunrise or spend sleepless night in bed talking and even kissing. Where we didn't have a care about anything but us.

I wish.

I wish that hopefully that will become a permanent kind of thing. Where it doesn't just happen every now and then and where we don't have to worry about anything at certain times. I just wish that I don't have to worry _anytime_. Where all our problems with Snow are fixed and we can only worry about what we're going to cook for dinner or whether or not it's a good time to hunt.

I wish that we could just be happy everytime. But of course that's impossible. Life has its ups and downs, challenges to face and problems to resolve. Times when you are happy and safe are the most special. Like right now with Peeta, Snow might be trying to bomb us right now and I wouldn't be worried or scared because I feel safe sitting here with Peeta. I have absolutely no care in the world. No worries whatsoever.

Peeta sneezing takes me out of my thoughts. He sneezes again and this time I pick my head up to look at him.

"Don't tell me you've caught a called." I tell him.

"Maybe, let's not worry Katniss. I'll be fine."

"We shouldn't really sleep in the same bed if I'm sick you know?" I say and clear my sore throat.

"You know I can't sleep without you Katniss."

"Well we should I pillow between us maybe. I don't want you getting sick."

"That is so not happening, I'll wake up in the middle of the night and I'll kick that pillow down like a ninja." He says jokingly and again I laugh. Only to be stopped by a loud cough.

I jumped a little bit while coughing and my ankle reacted and a shot of pain rushed through me. I find myself letting out another cry of pain. I bite my lip and hold my ankle.

"I think we should try to kiss it better," Peeta says and when I look at him he has his cheeky smile on.

"Maybe, try." I say with the same cheeky smile and bring my ankle out from underneath the blanket. Slowly and carefully, Peeta scoops my ankle into his hands and he looks up and smile at me again.

"Let's give it a kiss over here," he says and kisses the front of my foot.

"Ew, Peeta. You're actually serious? You're kissing my foot and it doesn't even hurt there." I exclaim.

He shrugs, "Oh well." This time his lips touch my ankle and it leaves an after feeling. His lips were warm and soft against my skin, it only lingered for a second but I felt it.

"You should rinse your mouth properly, that was really weird of you."

"I offered and you let me Miss Everdeen." He says.

I slowly move my ankle back on the ground and we're back in our normal position. I cough and I sneeze for minutes after. Peeta doesn't back away and just watches me with worry, instead, I turn around when I wheeze or cough. Doing that gets me really tired for some reason and I start to feel my eyes starting to drop.

"I'm taking you to bed now Katniss alright." Peeta says and his hands go under my knees for the hundredth time today.

"Huh?" I stare at him, tired and confused. He shakes his head at me and picks me up. I fall into sleep while he climbs the stairs and I wake up again with a ferocious nightmare about a bleeding Peeta.

* * *

When I wake from a nightmare Peeta's isn't beside me. I sit up to fast and it hurts my back, a new wave of energy sends my chest into a panic attack.

_Where is he?_

"Peeta!" I shriek, I can hear the fear and worriedness in my voice. I hear thundering footsteps towards me and I panic.

Who is it? Are they coming to get me too?

My hand grabs onto the sheets so hard I can feel my nails dig into my palm though the thin layer of cotton. Tears of panic fills my eyes, if only I wasn't injured I could run for it.

"Go away!" I shout into the darkness.

The lights turn on and when I see that blond hair and blue eyes I burst into another wave of tears.

It was just a dream. Again, I let it take me into thinking that it was a reality. My mind is, too, is afraid of these dreams. I start trembling and when Peeta's arms go around me I hold onto them for dear life.

"Peeta…" I whimper like a small child and I start coughing.

"It's okay Katniss. I'm right here." He kisses my forehead then moves to my temple. He rubs my back soothingly and I continue sobbing into his chest.

"W-Where were you?"

"I was just downstairs, I was about to come up to sleep. Lie back down Katniss."

I do as he says and Peeta gets up, off the bed. I panic again I quickly try to grab him.

"It's okay; I'm just going to turn the lights off." He says softly. I watch him intently as he moves to the other side of the room, moving towards the light switch and turning the light off. I can make out his silhouette as he moves towards me.

When Peeta gets under the covers his arms find my waist automatically. Cautiously, even though it hurts a little bit, I turn so I am now leaning on my side and I can look at Peeta. The little light from the window lets in some moonbeam rays.

Peeta looks at me worryingly and his thumb wipes away the tears across my cheek.

"Katniss it wasn't real. Everything's fine." He says softly, he moves closer and gives me a light kiss. My hand moves to the back of his neck and he lets his lips linger a little longer.

When we break, I choose to make a confession, "Peeta it was about you again."

I don't really tell Peeta whether or not I dreamt about him because it might make him feel confused about whether I love him or not. Then that will lead to all these negatives things that people have told him about me not loving him and he'll just be upset and believe it all over again. That I absolutely have no care in the world about him and that's not true.

I'm afraid about losing him aren't I? Don't my dreams prove that enough?

I only have to prove it to Peeta, which I know he won't believe. Because the only thing he grew up believing in is that I…well I don't love him and I never will. And that's harsh.

"You were- you were being tor-tortured again-" I whimper.

"Again?" He asks.

I give him a slight nod, "I didn't like what they were doing to you Peeta. They tied me up and made me watch, th-there was a l-lot of blood any everything. The painful shrieks you m-made scared me and then- and then all at once…all at once you…you stopped-" I choke and I clear my throat, "and then you weren't moving-" Tears fall again and I start whimpering.

"Katniss shh…" Peeta moves closer and rubs my back again. "it didn't happen Katniss. It never will," he assure me but I don't believe him.

"What if it does? What if one day, people will take you and torture you for answers you don't even have? Especially with Snow at our tails?" I snap at him.

"If you believe it then it will happen." He tells me and I get scared, I shake the thought of losing Peeta away and concentrate on thinking that that does not happen. "We'll be fine Katniss," he kisses my temple and I end up smiling.

"Can I get a kiss to confirm it then?" I ask him and he chuckles.

"Sure, let's try that." He lifts my head up and gives me another kiss. A kiss full of feeling and confirmation. I remember how I made a secret promise of never leaving Peeta's side and how I sealed it with a kiss. It feels just like that.

I turn our kiss into something passionate Peeta's hand runs through my hair. I stop our kiss when I feel myself about to cough.

Peeta sighs disappointed and he feels my cheeks and forehead with the back of his hand, "Still as hot as last time," he says.

I don't want Peeta to get sick because of me but I don't want to sleep without him by my side and my fever makes everything else twice as cold. It's snowing outside and it's below temperature, my fever makes the temperature twice as cold.

Peeta and I already have a total amount of three blankets around us and it's warm enough but I don't think that it is enough. I'm even wearing one of Peeta's knitted jumpers and I still need to pull my legs and knees together to get warmer.

"Are you cold?" Peeta asks, somewhat shocked.

I nod again and Peeta's hand lands on my legs. I jump a little and then his hand rubs my legs then pulls my legs closer. I can feel the soft cotton fabric of my pajama pants rub against my skin, my eyes close and I snuggle into his chest.

Peeta lets at a groan, "God Katniss, you're so close and it's so hot. I can't even breathe." He whispers in the nicest way possible.

I smile into his shirt, "Well tough." I mumble.

"I'm sweating Katniss…"

I say nothing and move my head up a little bit, I'm now breathing into his neck. A deep breath comes out his mouth.

"Okay , I'm not doing this. It isn't going to work. Give me a sec," Peeta grumbles and he gets out of bed. I lie in bed, confused, looking at Peeta standing in the dark light.

I sigh and put the blanket completely over me. In the dim light I see him takes his sweater off, then his shirt and then he drops his pajama pants. I find myself smiling widely and I even start giggling.

"What are you laughing at?" He asks in a joking manner, "I was sweating my butt off Katniss."

"Okay," I say with a shrug, "I heard some girls saying back at school that shirtless boys are…what was that…sexy or something."

He laughs, "Yes Katniss, I am very sexy thank you very much."

"I said, I hear girls saying shirtless _boys _are sexy. I didn't say you were one of them."

"But I am a boy Katniss," he says climbing into bed, the cold chill hitting me as he goes under the covers. "Let us just add me to that category okay Katniss. Then no one gets hurt," he says happily and his arms go around me.

We stare at each other in the darkness, waiting for sleep to overtake us.

"Are you happy Katniss?"

His question makes my eyebrows furrow. What does he mean?

Like, am I happy? Right now? In this moment?

"Of course I'm happy Peeta. I get to lie down with a shirtless you." I say poking at his bare chest.

"I mean like, with this. Us."

"Huh?"

"Are you okay with the whole moving in, getting married and following the Capitol stuff?"

I frown, I'm not entirely happy with the Capitol taking making our decisions for us and using us as their puppet. But with Peeta and I, how our relationship is, I would have to say…yes…actually I am happy. Not just happy happy, but it's like another type of it. I can't describe it; it's a happiness that's found from the heart I guess. Not in a friendship or relationship kind of way.

A happiness that I can only describe with the word 'Peeta', it's a happiness I share with only him. A happiness that completes my heart entirely.

"Yes, with us. Yes," I answer.

"Gale doesn't look happy though."

"Don't worry about Gale. Peeta, this is between you and me and this has absolutely nothing to do with Gale."

"But Gale likes you too; I don't want him thinking that I stole you from him when we're just friends."

For some random reason, I feel a stab when he says the word 'friend'. As if that's all we are to each other.

Wait, no. We're just friends aren't we? At least, that's what I remember thinking before, that Peeta is just a friend to me.

Yet, why did it hurt when he said the word friend.

"I- I don't-" I stumble with my words, "is that all we are Peeta?"

"…what?"

"A-are we-we just friends?"

It his turn to be silent, "Well, that's what you had me believing anyway."

That's what _I _had him believing.

I thought so, I just don't understand why I'm asking a question that Peeta would be.

"Katniss?" His soft voice warms my heart.

I don't know what to say to him now. He wants me to say something, to continue after a question that we wouldn't expect to come out of my mouth.

"I don't know Peeta. I'm just really confused, all I know is that I'm happy spending every minute with you. I'm happy enough to live you for the rest of my life." I say quickly before I can stop the words from coming out.

"The rest of your life?"

"Uh…yeah," I say a little awkwardly.

I see his smile through the dim light, "really? Does that mean I'm not very boring?"

"You're never boring Peeta." I say, mirroring his wide smile.

"Are you really happy Katniss?"

"Yes Peeta! I could just spend every night with you, just like this." I say happily.

"Like this? With three blankets around us? Every night?"

I laugh, "Peeta stop being silly. You know what I mean."

He laughs as well then slowly, out laughter dies. We're silent again, left in a comfortable silence.

"I love you," Peeta says quietly, too quiet. It sounded like he was saying it to himself rather than to me. Maybe I wasn't supposed to hear it, but I did anyways.

"Peeta…if I told you I loved you…what would you do?"

I hear nothing but a short gasp and unsteady breathing, "I…I would die of happiness right there and then…b-because…I finally got what I've been waiting for my whole life."

Can three words really make someone die of happiness?

I smile sadly at him; little by little I can feel Peeta's love for me and how strong it is. Every gesture, those kisses he gives me and his smile. I like it when Peeta smiles, it makes me happy and makes me careless about anything but us.

"I really like you Peeta…I do…and- and I know that this is hard for the both of us…but I…I really don't care about the awkwardness or anything because I only care about you an-" His finger lands on my lips.

"Katniss don't. I'm happy as well, you don't have to make up lies to- whatever you were trying to do."

Lies!

What does he mean lies? I'm telling the truth!

"Are you some sort of stupid or just a slow learner?" I say.

"What?" Peeta grumbles, sounding a bit shocked.

"Why can't you accept the fact that I care about you as much as you care about me?" I say that and then I try to get myself to sit up. Peeta tells me to lie back down but I don't. Peeta hesitates and helps me sit up and now I'm leaning on the head board of the bed with Peeta.

"It's hard to believe that you would care that much, I mean, I'm just a boy who bakes. What's the good in that? I'm not strong like Gale or quick thinking as him. No one in their right mind would care about or even need me."

I scoff at him, "Peeta but I-"

"-don't," he finishes my sentence for me but that wasn't what I was going to say, "No Katniss, you don't. You might like me and enjoy me being around but if I died. Give it a few weeks and you'd forget about me."

I frown, "who told you about all this- all this crap Peeta? What is your mother again that led you to believe that?" I spit angrily.

"But Katniss it's the truth. You know that, you can last the rest of your life without me. I don't mean that much to you, I'm just a worthless, pathetic-"

I stop his sentence with a kiss. As soon as I heard 'worthless' I know that it would have something to do with his mum. I don't like that way Peeta's mother says these things to him, and now it leads us to another sleepless night of drama.

Another night to fix each other's broken hearts, to find a way to tell each other that's it's going to be alright and the nightmares we get from the Games isn't a great help either.

I move my lips against his and then I feel his tongue rub against my bottom lip. A gasp escapes my throat and I find myself giving his tongue permission to enter.

I don't think Peeta and I have kissed like this before. My throat is sore and it feels like I'm about to cough but I really don't want to because I don't want to ruin this for Peeta. He breaks our kiss a moment after though.

"Peeta, you're everything but worthless."

He shakes his head in disagreement, his head drops and I start to boil with anger.

Why doesn't he believe me!

"Peeta…Peeta look at me, you have to believe me Peeta. You have to believe everything I tell you because it's the truth; I'm telling you the truth Peeta. I'm not making up stupid lies just to make you feel better; it hurts when you don't believe me because you have to know how amazing you really are. Who have to stop believing what these people told you and believe me. If you love me you would."

He just looks at me, the kind of look that tells me to stop trying. To trying to make everything better when it's not.

"Goddammit Peeta! I care about you alright! Peeta, I need you as much as you need me and if you don't believe that then I shouldn't stay any longer then. Because what's the point of needing someone if they don't even believe you? You're not worthless or pathetic and you're not just a baker with no meaning! Peeta please believe me, you have to." I start feeling tears forming in my eyes.

"Peeta..I…please I…" I don't know how to say it. I just hope that he would believe me because I would just be so heartbroken if he didn't.

"Peeta…I love you…" I say those three words softly and almost, _almost_, inaudible.

Peeta's eyes go wide; a look of disbelief, shock and just a tiny bit of happiness covers his face. I blink back my tears.

"I love you! Peeta, for goodness sake I love you!" My head falls to his chest and I start sobbing.

Why?

I don't know. I'm just filled with so much emotions right now that I don't know what to do, but I'm just praying that he believes what I just said because _even I_ can't believe that I said that either.

Peeta's still, still as a rock, I can just hear his heart beating. Thumping at a hundred miles per hour, then I hear his deep breathes. In just a few seconds his breathing sound almost scary, as if he can't breathe and he really need more air.

"K-Katniss I- I can-can't breathe." He says and his breathing goes faster by the second.

I lean my head back and look at Peeta; he puts a hand over his stomach and turns his body, looking forward.

"Th-that's not p-possible." He says quietly.

"Peeta. Shhh, it's okay. Relax." I put my hand over his and squeeze it tightly. He turns to face me and his eyes start filling with tears.

"Oh Peeta…" I give him a small smile.

Peeta's breathing is nowhere near normal and he suddenly attacks my lips with his. He kisses me for only a moment and he leans back just a few millimetres.

"You lo-love me?" He asks softly, his voice shuddering.

I nod.

"F-for re-real?"

I small smiles creeps on my lips and I nod yet again. He closes his eyes and when they open tears begin to fall.

I feel my own eyes filling up with tears again and I laugh softly, wiping his tears away with my thumb, "hey come on. It's not that bad." I say.

He smiles but it doesn't go very high.

"This has to be a dream, it just has to be." He mumbles. "I love you Katniss," He says quietly.

My smile comes back again, "I love you too Peeta." I say just as quiet and he kisses me again.

* * *

I wake with the heavy rain hitting the roof and the thunder striking outside. When I open my eyes, I see that Peeta is still asleep.

A smile tugs at my lips.

It feels like last night didn't even happen, part of it felt so real and another just feels like it was miles away from here. The feeling is so far away that it makes me wonder that it actually didn't happen, it doesn't _feel _like it didn't happen, it _didn't _ happen.

I tap his nose and his face twitches at my touch. This time, I pinch the bridge of his nose and slowly, his eyes open.

"Katniss!" He says half tired and half happy.

"Morning!" I say quickly and give his lips a kiss. My hands fall to his chest and I feel the softness of his shirt.

My eyes open but my lips are still on his.

Hang on; Peeta took his shirt off last night because he said that it was too hot. My lips leave his.

"Peeta? Did you put your shirt back on?" I ask him.

His brows furrow, "what do you mean?"

"Last night, you took you shirt and pants off because it was too hot; we had like 3 blankets around us." I look at our blankets; we still have 3 around us.

"Katniss, last night was cold as ice. What are you talking about? The three blankets was well enough and you have your fever reflecting back at me.

"Peeta you are not making sense. After I had my nightmare and you soothed me, you said it was too hot and took your clothes off until you just had your boxers on.

His gives me an 'I have no idea what you're talking about' look.

"You didn't have a nightmare last night. You fell asleep while we were climbing the stairs and I out you to bed. I went back downstairs for like an hour, just thinking. And when I came back up you looked like you were miles and miles away from here, you must've been in a deep dream."

Dream. The words hits me. Dream.

What?

No…no…no! It was real, it wasn't a dream!

"What?"

"What do you mean what? Then I joined you in bed, you didn't have any nightmares last night Katniss. Thank God you were able to sleep peacefully. I didn't though," he frowns.

"Peeta…" I say through gritted teeth, "Don't mess with me."

"Katniss, what are you talking about?"

"You're kidding right?"

"What? K-Katniss no. I'm not kidding; you _really_ didn't have a nightmare last night. Why? Did you?"

Wait a minute, this doesn't make sense. I did have a nightmare, it was about Peeta.

But he's saying that I didn't. Peeta doesn't really lie and I don't think that we would joke about last night not happening because that was something he always wanted to happen. For me to say those three words.

"Katniss are you okay?"

I look at him with no expression on my face.

No. It wasn't, it didn't happen. I never said it, those three words; they never came out of my mouth.

It was just a dream.

A dream that felt so real that it's a memory to me.

I can feel the sadness that overtakes my heart.

"Katniss?" Peeta sounds worried now and the back of his hand feels my forehead and cheeks again.

"Hm, still as hot as last time," Peeta mumbles and I remember where he said that before. Last night, well, last night in my dream.

"Katniss?"

I clear my throat and offer a smile.

"Why don't you take me down for breakfast?"

"Yeah…sure, I'm hungry anyway." And he smiles at me.

* * *

_Don't hate me. I wrote it like this because I also had a dream that I really thought that happened the night before because it felt so real and I was asking about it the next day._

_That whole I love you bit __**wasn't**__ suppose to be a dream but I added it in because I experienced it and I though, eh, might as well add a twist to the story._

_But I promise you (hopefully) the next one will be the moment of truth ( I don't really know what that means)._

_Please stay tuned guys, don't hate but please feel free to review your feelings._

RestlessIdeas


	19. Answers

_Got to update! Yes!_

_Enjoy this one._

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN THE HUNGER GAMES**

* * *

**CHAPTER NINETEEN: ANSWERS**

Peeta is actually a pretty good doctor. He does things just right, not once do I feel really sick, cold or hurt because of the fever and my tailbone. He follows everything my mum instructs him to do and he does with such persistence and accuracy that I think he's my mother in disguise.

He gives my ankle kisses, makes sure I take my medicine at the right time, carries me almost anywhere and he's always watching me. Watching my every move, if I cough or sneeze he moves on reflex and grabs a tissue, if I wince because of my injury he quickly comes closer and sees what he can do about it.

I find it almost bizarre for someone to be like that. When Prim is sick I make sure she gets medicine and lots of rest but I'm not as clingy as Peeta. I find myself laughing most of the time when he gets so carried away. He doesn't even rest or sit down until I do, or until I tell him too anyway.

It's only been a few days since that night with the crazy and really really _really_ weird and random dream I had with the whole 'I love you' thing. But as I think about it and how real the dream felt like, when I remember myself it, it felt so real. Like I could and I was actually saying it. It gets me thinking wether something like that could come out of my mouth for real, not in a dream.

Sometimes I find myself watching Peeta, watching his every move as he watches mine. How a look or worry covers his face whenever I let out a shout of pain, even the way he walks, that shiny look in his eyes when his looking at me is something that confuses me as well. The way it shines when he smiles at me sends a tingly feeling to my chest.

It's absolutely uncontrollable, everytime I feel that I reach for him. Kiss him fully on the mouth, the feeling…it just takes over me. I don't even know what to do with it; I just wish I knew what it was called.

"What do you want to have for a snack Katniss?"

"I'll have them delicious cheese buns you make please," the excitement in my voice clearly expressed.

"Right, okay. Call when you need me," he goes off to the kitchen to bake those cheese buns and he's expecting me to sit here and wait impatiently.

"Wait!" I say sounding alarmed.

His body turns in a flash and responds to my cry, "what is it Katniss?"

"Can you take me to the kitchen so that I can watch you bake instead, please?"

"You don't even have to ask," in long easy stride, he picks me up and walks to the kitchen. He sets me down on a stool.

He moves around the kitchen grabbing the equipment and ingredients that he needs, he puts them on the counter and he gets to work.

Again, I find myself watching his moves. I watch him pour ingredients into the bowl, the way he moves his hand around to make the dough. I remember when we were in the bakery and how annoying it was to soften the dough; it was easier for Peeta because he's used to it and because of his muscles.

I like watching Peeta work; it brings a smile on my face. Soon I start staring at Peeta's face; even though his head is down I can see the concentrated expression on his face. I find myself smiling, like I do everytime there's something to do with Peeta.

I don't think he notices that I'm watching him intently because he's so concentrated into bashing that dough.

I could just sit here and watch him forever. I shake my head.

What?

Where did that come from? I'm starting to sound like a love struck teenager.

I shake it off and that's when Peeta looks up.

"Is there a fly or something Katniss or are you just violently shaking your head?"

"Um..uh..yeah, no. I was thinking and then I shook it off."

He looks at me for a few seconds, and then recognition covers his face. I furrow my eyebrows, what's he thinking?

"Oh," he nods and goes back to the dough.

"What are you thinking about Peeta?" I ask him.

He looks up again, "what?"

"When I told you that I was just shaking off my thoughts, what did you think about?"

"Oh, no. I wasn't- I wasn't thinking anything. I was actually thinking about what you were thinking about."

He's lying, I can tell.

He might've though that I was confused about this whole thing between me and him again.

I sigh; this just gets harder and harder. But at least we still smile.

"Want to help me shape some buns?" Peeta asks.

"Sure," I nod. He gives me a certain amount of dough and I start shaping them into buns. Peeta finishes his batch first then he goes behind me and starts helping straight away.

"Peeta, how come you don't go to the bakery quite a lot anymore?" I ask him.

"Uh…I don't know, I really don't want to really. At least I visit them, but I feel…free, in a way."

I know what he means, his free from his mum and her torturous lectures. But Peeta hasn't abandoned his family just because he's rich. No matter how badly his mum treated him, he still shared his fortunes and even offered the house. I remember him saying that hi mum didn't want to live with him so she turned it down. I guess the money was enough for her.

We finish shaping the dough into buns eventually and we only have to wait for it to be baked. Peeta takes the stool next to me and I sigh, already starting to grow impatient because I just want some cheese buns.

"Well, your sore throat has died down, you seem to cough on a sometime basis," I smile at his words.

Sometimes basis? What the heck does that even mean?

"And you seem to be a bit cooler," he continues, "Oh! And you kind of twist and turn without groaning when we're in bed. I'll give it a few days, maybe 2 weeks, for you to be perfectly healed."

"Well thanks for the update Dr. Mellark." I say and a rough cough escapes my throat. In a swift move, Peeta gets of his stool and is behind me, rubbing my back as I continue coughing.

"I-I'm…fine…" I say while clearing my throat after my death-like cough.

"You scare me with your cough you know?"

I clear my throat one last time, "I know Peeta. I scare myself with it too."

He kisses the top of my head, then he kisses my temple, goes down to my cheek and then to the corner of my mouth. I move my head to meet his lips and I feel myself smile.

Sometimes I wonder why Peeta and I still kiss even without the cameras.

Why are we so used to it to actually consider it a normal thing?

I shower his lips with little kisses and he becomes impatient and groans, "Katniss…"

He tries to lock his lips on mine but I pull back just to irritate him.

"Katniss stop it," he says.

I push him back by his chest. He looks at me in impatiently and waits if I have anything to say. I don't really; I just would like to see Peeta boil over not being able to kiss me properly.

I want to laugh so bad because his facial expression is starting to look desperate. I bit my lip to prevent myself from laughing.

"What is it Katniss?" He asks calmly. I shake my head, "nothing."

"Katniss," he grunts and leans in to kiss me again.

"I fink wu shouf check on the wuns," I try to say as he kisses me. I can't speak properly with his lips tightly on mine.

"They'll be fine, give 15 minutes." He says in between our kiss.

I open my eyes and look out the kitchen window. The sun's setting; Peeta and I ate 2 hours ago and I still crave for some food.

My thoughts get distracted with Peeta's lips moving against mine. They're soft, like how they always are and delicious against mine.

A question pops in my head and gently I pull Peeta back. He looks at me in confusion and I smile at him.

"You're not just doing this to annoy me are you?" He asks.

"No actually I had a question…have you ever kissed any other girls before?"

He blushes and I find myself even wider. He looks adorable to be honest, it's the cutest I've ever seen him.

He turns and leans his elbows on the counter, he faces the sink in front of him and slowly shakes his head. "No, not really," he says with a shy smile.

I tilt my head to try and see his facial expression. "Aw," the sound escapes my mouth and I laugh at myself.

Peeta looks at me, "did Katniss Everdeen just make that sound?"

"Yeah," I nod and I say through my giggles. He smiles at me and then I feel his eyes watching me. I manage to stop the laughter but my smile doesn't fade, "you were saying," I continue.

"Oh, no…no I haven't," he mumbles and gazes back at the sink.

"I don't believe you!" I say loudly and poke his bicep.

"No really I haven't Katniss," he says joyfully.

"Right, right, don't tell me who these girls were then." I say disappointedly, I cross my arms and turn away.

"I really haven't Katniss, you're the only girl I've ever kissed."

I give him a look of disbelief, "no seriously come on." I continue teasing him.

He looks back again at me and smiles, and then he sighs.

Jackpot.

He's going to tell me now.

"Katniss…I'm not going to lie to you…but I really have not kissed any other girl but you."

I sigh in defeat; well if he's telling the truth then he's telling the truth.

"Okay, come here then," I put my arms out and he moves closer to me. My arms lock around his neck and his lips meet mine.

"But if you're lying Peeta…I will…hurt you…so bad…" I say in between kisses, "that you..won't-" Peeta stops me from interrupting our kiss by biting my bottom lip softly.

I stop talking, of course I do. That's the first time that ever happened and it's quite shocking.

"Shh…" he whispers and kisses me again. While we kiss, my eyes open a few times to look at that oven and see if the buns have risen and if they look baked. I grunt with frustration if I can't see the buns properly.

"Peeta," I push him back slightly, not too far though, "are the buns finished?"

He smiles and turns to look at the oven, "most likely, let me check."

I grunt and he walks to the oven, I look back at the window and I can see the nice bright orange coloring the clouds. This brings a smile on my face; anything Peeta-related brings a smile on my face actually.

"Peeta?"

"Yes Katniss, the buns are ready. I'll take them out the oven now." I wasn't going to mention that but because he has said it my head snaps to look his direction and one by one we places the buns on a drying rack.

I find myself licking my lips, "can we eat them upstairs on the porch. To see the sunset, it's easier up there so that the trees and house aren't all on the way."

He looks at me and excitement flashes in his eyes, "yeah. Let's do that. I'll just put these buns in plate."

I wait patiently for him to do that and he does it quickly, he carries the plate to me and tells me to hold it while he carries me. Peeta and I have never really been on the porch upstairs, well I haven't yet, maybe he has. This is his house anyway and whenever I say that he mentions that what's his is also mine. I guess that's how engaged couples work.

The view is much better up here. Nothing is to block our way and we can see the horizon perfectly. My back is leaning against Peeta's chest and I'm stuffing myself with these cheese buns. Peeta's doesn't seem to want any and I am perfectly happy with that.

He's really quiet actually, it's almost scary. I turn my head to look at him and his just staring out at the horizon, a small smile plastered on his face. He feels my gaze and looks down at me.

"Hi." I say.

He chuckles and kisses my forehead. "How are the buns?"

"Delicious. As always," I answer.

"I'm thinking of visiting the bakery tomorrow," he says.

"You should. Go and visit your family for a while," I tell him.

"But I don't want to leave you here alone."

"I'll be fine."

"No, you can barely walk. I'm trying to find a way to get you to come with me."

I swallow. I don't want to go to the bakery with him, not because I don't want. Well, I don't want to and it's just because I don't want to see his mother. A calm and joyous visit might end up as a war between me and his mother if I can't control my anger around her.

"I don't want to leave you with someone else…" he continues mumbling.

"Why don't you want to? It's not like I'm just going to run off and never come back."

"Because I'm selfish and I only want you for myself," he says and holds me tighter.

I feel that wave of energy rush through me and my cheeks feel warm.

"You know what; tomorrow I'll try to walk okay? And if I can't walk, you leave me with my mother and Prim then you go to the Bakery."

"Yeah but they can't carry you if you need to do something."

"They'll help me walk, and you should be making me walk anyways. So that I can actually get used to it and it might help me heal, it's better than you spoiling me and carrying me all the time."

"But I don't want you to get hurt Katniss," he mumbles.

"We're human beings Peeta. It's almost impossible for us to _not _get hurt." I explain.

"But-"

I cut him off, "No buts. That's the plan."

I turn my head to look at the bright orange sky again.

I finish the last of the cheese buns and when I had no feel of the warmth of the bread I realize just how cold it actually is. It's not snowing, but snow covers everything and I can just see how the sun reflects to the snowy grounds and the orange color it takes.

It's like how the blue ocean turns orange because of the sun's reflection, only its ice. The thick jacket I'm wearing doesn't seem to be enough and Peeta feels like his miles away rather than sitting right behind me.

"You're cold aren't you?" He asks, as if reading my mind.

"You guessed it," I say and scoot back closer to him. His arms encircle me and his warmth breath tickles my neck. His hands cover mine and soon picks them up and kisses my fingers.

"This little piggy's going to get a kiss, this little piggy gets none, this little piggy gets a warm one and this little piggy gets none," he stars singing a rhyme as he kisses my fingers. I laugh, of course I laugh.

"What about my thumb?" I ask him.

"I'll give that little piggy a wet one," he says and kisses my thumb, letting his lips linger for a few seconds.

Slowly the sky gets darker but Peeta and I make no plans to go back inside. We spend our time together outside, talking and joking around like we always do.

"Suppose you were a 17 year-old alcoholic like Haymitch, what do you think you would be doing on a normal morning?"

"Um, I would be sitting on a comforter, with a beer on my hand, sleeping through the whole morning and only waking up when and if you barge through my door. I spend my time sleeping on a normal morning."

"Sleeping. Okay, what would your diet be?"

"Anything. Mostly beer, I will have beer lunch and dinner. If I manage to be sober enough to cook I will make myself a sandwich or go down the butcher's and buy some juicy meat. That would only happen if I was actually sober enough to move. What if you were an alcoholic Katniss?"

"I would do nothing but drink and sleep. Eat when I'm hungry and shower when I manage to get up on my two legs, and die lonely," I answer.

When I say that I get a feeling that makes me want to say that I don't want something like that to happen. I don't want to die alone; it's starting to scare me.

"I wonder about Haymitch every now and then actually, how he's never bothered to look for love. How he blocked everything entrance that love could enter." Peeta says quietly.

"At least he isn't depressed or anything, he smiles every now and then."

"Every now and then," Peeta repeats.

"It's starting to get cold," I say, " we should get inside."

I lie in bed, waiting for Peeta to finish his shower.

Deep in thought, as usual.

Could I say it again? Would I be able to?

Questions I ask myself that I can never answer.

It's so confusing. Peeta says it all the time, he accepts the fact that I won't be able to say it back.

I just- I don't know.

The question, really, isn't about whether or not I can say it; it's whether or not I do love Peeta.

Do I love Peeta?

I cleared this before, I do love him; just in my own way. A love that's strong and enough for the both of us.

No wait, am I _in_ love with him?

That's the question.

I scratch my head in anger, I'm sick of this.

I'm sick of being confused all the time, I'm just sick of not being able to answer things.

What if I do love him?

Maybe I don't know just yet but could someone, anyone, please answer that question for me.

The door opens and Peeta comes out with a towel around his waist.

He can't be done yet. He can't.

I haven't answered any of my questions and I can't wait another day.

"Go back in the shower." I say.

"What? Why?"

"Go back in there and pretend to take a shower again. Except take a longer one."

He smiles at me, "you know what, because you want to get rid of me so bad, I'll just change in the bathroom." He takes clothes and soon the bathroom door closes.

Oh Peeta.

What am I going to about you? About us?

Should I just sit here and do nothing and watch how everything plays out?

How the wedding goes?

How well we'll do in the Hunger Games as mentors?

I rub my temples.

In a way, I want myself to be in love with Peeta. The uncontrollable feeling I have is no strong and full of want and need. It makes me kiss him with so much passion that he become so breathless, how I get so close at night time and I could affect him with my fever and the way my body tingles when he smiles or looks at me with that shiny sparkle in his eyes.

I've said it before and I'm going to say it again. I could never imagine Peeta doing that to another girl.

I forbid it.

Peeta comes out the bathroom wearing nothing but blue. Blue boxers and a blue shirt.

"Why blue?"

He shrugs, "I feel bluey today."

Blue. My mind flashes back to the time Peeta got drugged on the Victory tour.

_"I like babies Katniss, they're cute. Maybe they're going to as blue as you."_

_"Blue?"_

A smile forms on my lips.

_"She's the most beautiful girl in the world." He chuckles, "Let me tell you a secret." He continues by whispering, "She doesn't love me back…"_

I remember that, I remember those words. I remember how it made me feel so guilty that it made my head spin.

He climbs in bed but doesn't lie down. He sits up and leans on the headboard.

_"Blue lady? Do you think…Katniss will ever love me back?"_

The memory of that night keeps playing in my head. How he punched Julian and went berserk.

_"I love my Katniss."_

I shake my head and Peeta furrows his eyebrows.

"Thinking?" He asks me.

"You guessed it," I say.

I then remember how I woke up because he was having a nightmare. How it took ages for him to calm down, it was heartbreaking to wipe his tears away and stop him to cry. It broke me completely.

"Peeta, when I have nightmares and I cry; how do you feel?"

His quiet for a minute or two, "heartbroken." The word leaves his mouth with no hesitation.

Is that how I can describe how I felt that night? With the word 'heartbroken'?

I shouldn't lie; I was heartbroken to see Peeta like that.

"Would you believe it if someone told you I didn't love you?"

I close my mouth as soon as I said that. Think of it as an accomplishment Katniss, at least you finally found the courage to say that.

"I already know…that you don't…love me Katniss."

"You don't really know that Peeta. Even I don't know that…"

That's it Katniss. Just tell him everything, you trust him don't you?

He's silent.

Is it awkward for him?

"Katniss, did you take too much medicine or something?" He asks too curiously and even feels my cheek and forehead with the back of his hand.

I swat his hand away, "I'm fine Peeta."

He sighs, "you don't love me Katniss, I can see that for sure."

"See it? How?" I ask confidently.

I crane my head higher to look at Peeta. He looks down at me with and I can't read the expression on his face. He rubs the back of his neck and a sad smile forms on his lips.

"I see the way you look at Gale," he says softly.

What? I don't look at Gale any different than I look at anyone else.

"It's the same look that you give me…when you would look at him, your eyes would light up, you would smile and I remember how excited you were to spend your Sundays with him."

I listen to every word he says.

I do get excited, well I did. Before the Victory Tour, when I thought that the Capitol have lefts us alone and Peeta and I have come to terms with each other, I would get excited. But that was before, now, if I want to hunt with him we can't even look at each other in the eye because of everything that's happening. The Capitol has caused all that, the pressure that Peeta and I get and all the drama that's happening is causing my friendship with Gale to go downhill.

"How is it…different…to how I look at you?" I find my voice getting shaky because I feel a little scared at asking these personal questions. But something tells me that I should keep going, get the answers I need so that my mind can be at peace.

"Well, your eyes don't sparkle, you don't always smile at me and you definitely don't get excited when I'm around."

He's wrong. Of course he's wrong.

Ever since I found comfort in him in the Victory Tour I kind of figured that I do need him. I trust Peeta and he understands. He always does.

Can't he see how much I've wanted him there all the time for the past few days? Can't he see that?

Peeta's getting it wrong, all these things his saying about how I look at Gale and how I treat him. This was all before the Victory Tour, before I got all these weird feelings.

Peeta needs to update the information he has collected.

"That's not true," I pick myself up so that I could sit up on the bed and look at him. I do quicker than I expected with an injured.

"That's not true," I shake my head.

"That is true, Katniss the way I feel about you is just something that you will never understand."

He looks away from me. We can't stop now, I need answers.

Answers. That's all I want.

My hand lands on his thigh, I lick my lips before I lean in to him. To give him a kiss.

I move slowly and cautiously, positioning myself so that I'm on his lap and my legs are on either side of his hips. My lips don't leave his, not even for a second or a quick breath. I ignore the complains my tailbone is making and suck it up.

My fingers line around his jaw and he holds my waist steady.

It doesn't shock me when I let out a moan; I expected it due to the deepness of our kiss.

I'm guessing that Peeta's hands move at their own accord, his hands go under my shirt and the feel of his palm on my skin gives me goose bumps. As his hands move up, my shirt follows. I break our kiss for the first time in minutes just so that I can get my shirt over my head. My lips assault his straight after.

The minutes that leads after that becomes heated. Peeta and I move with incredible speed to take each other's clothes off.

We shift position and I'm lying down in the bed with Peeta on top of me. His kisses my face all over and I feel him smiling.

For the rest of the night, a new kind of feeling takes over the both of us and we're completely oblivious to fact of what this might mean, what it can lead to and what we're doing with each other.

As we make love for the rest of the night, the one question I ask myself finally gets answered.

I wouldn't let Peeta touch me this way if I didn't love him.

There's a big difference between having sex and making love.

I'm pretty sure that we're doing the latter.

My eyes start to drop ten minutes after our…little thing. Three words leave my mouth before I even know it.

"I love you," I whisper.

But the deep breaths and soft snoring from Peeta lets me know that he didn't hear that.

He's asleep.

I open my eyes and lean my head back to look at him in the dark night, his eyes are closed. His bare chest moving up and down.

I sigh in annoyance, "Peeta you've got to be kidding me."

* * *

_The next chapter will come in a few days because, you know, these are long chapters._

_The next chapter, definitely know, will be the moment of truth. _

_What we've all been waiting for, unless my head gives me new ideas._

_Please leave your reviews because if I don't get any, I normally don't continue the story. It would make sense why I wouldn't right?_

_Hope you enjoyed that and stay tuned._

RestlessIdeas


	20. It Beats As One

_Yes! I finally finished it. This chapter is a real treat guys, it's extra extra long. That's why it took at lead a week to write. Thank you for being patient though._

_This is guys...MOMENT OF TRUTH!_

_Yes! I've really tried to plan this out, how she's going to say it and all._

_Please forgive me for any grammar mistakes. I don't edit, :p_

_Enjoy!_

**__****DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN THE HUNGER GAMES**

* * *

**CHAPTER TWENTY: IT BEATS AS ONE**

The sunlight from the window burns my eyes. When I open them I close straight away, a groan of complaint coming out of my mouth. Peeta likes to sleep with the window open, but because it's so cold we keep it closed but we keep the curtains open. And when I wake up I just so happen to be facing the window.

My pillow is Peeta's chest and I'm not surprising. I thought about slapping him awake last night just so that I could scream those words at him.

Damn you Peeta!

Damn you for falling asleep like that!

I get off Peeta's chest and turn around. I just really hate him at the moment; I don't even want to think that he's lying down next to me. And it's all because he wasn't awake when I said those words last night.

See. I can't even say it now, even in my head.

As I turn my body around my tailbone jolts with pain. I quickly bite my lip to stop myself from yelling. I face away from Peeta and I stare at the door of our bedroom.

I realize just how tired I am. I didn't think that it was possible for someone to feel weak after hours of sleep and rest.

Then I remember last night.

That's crazy. Did it really happen?

It felt like it didn't. To be honest, I don't even remember. It would just be too awkward if I did anyway.

But I still remember how it felt.

I feel a shy smile forming and I feel the need to hide. Peeta shifts besides me and he starts mumbling.

"Katniss…" I hear him mumble and I turn my head to look at whatever he is doing.

His eyes are closed, most likely he is still sleeping, and his hand is patting the gap between us. He's probably reaching for me; I roll my eyes and sigh.

I reach for his hand and put it around my waist. He mumbles in satisfaction and turns his body to hold me properly. I'm still facing away from him, his chest to my back while I busily think and stare at the door.

I can't think anymore, not with Peeta being so close and…naked. All I can feel is skin to skin, his chest moving as he breathes and his breath tickling my neck.

I look around the room and look at the clock on the wall, it's just around 8 am and my eyes are still sore. I close my eyes and in a few minutes I fall asleep and I wake up two hours later.

Peeta's still in his deep slumber, snoring his head off.

He must be exhausted and it's pretty obvious why.

I find myself lying on my back and staring at the ceiling. Peeta's nose pressed against my cheek and his breath still tickling my neck. I'm fighting the urge to slap him awake and order for some cinnamon buns. I let him sleep and my fingers fiddle with his hair.

Everytime I turn, I do it nice and easily. When I turn to face Peeta I bite my lips so hard I think that it has started bleeding. I watch him sleep, pushing his hair back every so often. The sunlight rays that are going through the windows make his hair look a lighter blonde. The sunlight even reflects on his jaw and his stubbles appear. I guess it's so blonde that I can barely make it out. My fingers touch his jaw and I can feel the rough facial hair.

I sigh. To me, Peeta's is still a boy. The boy with the bread.

He's seventeen years old and in a few more months he'll be eighteen. When you're eighteen, you're considered as an adult. You're not called a teenager anymore and I don't want people saying that Peeta's a man.

He'll always be that boy to me, the boy with the blue eyes and blonde hair. The playful Peeta who can make anybody feel special with his words and my own personal painter. As you grow older you seem to be less playful and more serious. I just can't imagine Peeta not painting flowers, roses and me in dresses.

It would be really disappointing if he grows up and never finds the time to make me my favourite cinnamon buns. I should learn to make them just in case.

My finger lands on his bottom lip, I've kissed his lips so many times it has a maximum number in itself. I swipe my thumb across his lip; I feel my finger feeling my own lips. Peeta has kissed it so many times he might as well mark it as his territory.

I tap his nose and his eyelids start moving.

"Katniss?" His voice is hoarse and questioning.

His eyelids flutter open and his blue yes is covered with tiredness.

"Morning," I whisper.

He smiles. His eyes open completely now and he turns his body around so his back is to the mattress. He stretches and yawns at the same time.

As he does though, as he stretches, the blanket kind of pulls away from me and I grab it quickly to makes sure I don't expose myself. Peeta doesn't seem to notice, his letting out a big yawn with his eyes tightly shut and his arms and legs stretching out.

He rubs his eyes and then turns his body to look at me. We stare at each other for a minute or two until his eyes widen and a sharp but silent gasp escapes his lips.

"Did we really-," he starts saying, "last night I mea-"

I nod a few times, even keeping my eyes close and my lips pursed just to look serious.

"Yep," I pop the 'p' and suddenly we're having an awkward silence.

I start yawning and my eyes shut as my mouth widens. When I open them though my mouth opens in shock and my eyes widen. Peeta's _peeking _under the covers with a cheeky grin.

"Peeta!"

His head snaps up and he looks at me in embarrassment.

"I was- I- I just-…I wanted to…see if…it was real." He explains.

"Really!" I ask in a serious tone.

"Well what if it was a dream!" His voice becomes high pitched and squeaky, I would laugh out loud if I wasn't so loud.

"Oh and you thought fine to look under the covers at out naked bodies!" The words come out so fast; it's so embarrassing how he did that.

"I'm sorry Katniss…" He says softly. I feel his warm hand on my waist, "that was really rude of me. I should've known better."

I can't stay mad at him, especially not when he's looking at me like _that_. Now while his eyes twinkle that and especially not with that look of shyness, embarrassment and forgiveness that add up to the word 'handsome'.

I shake my head. Why can't I stop myself from thinking about Peeta like this? What is wrong with me?

Of all the pressure and tragedy were went and are going through, I manage to find the time to think about him like this and feel my heart light up with joy.

But I guess it is reasonable with all the things we've gone through, I'll let it pass.

Instead I take his hear and I pinch it back, and I do it hard. Hard enough for him to yell in pain and say the word sorry again and again after one another.

When I let go of his ear he gives me an apologetic look.

"You should know better." I only managed to stay mad at Peeta for a few seconds and I used those seconds by pinching his ear. It was the only anger I had left of him after he gave me that look.

"Okay," I say after with a huge grin, "I forgive you."

He smiles back and kisses my nose. "I love you," I hear him whisper softly and more to himself than to me.

I sigh. Well I might as well say it. Here goes what I hope will be something.

"Peeta I-" I stop.

What now Katniss?

I clear my throat.

"I uh…"

He looks at me and waits for me to continue.

"I um…I…I really think that we should get out of bed. I mean, we have to go to the bakery today right and I'm supposed to walk?" I close my eyes in disappointment after I say that.

Coward. You're such a coward Katniss.

"Really? You wouldn't want to stay in bed a little longer while we're wrapped around each other like this?" That cheeky grin is back on his lips.

And I wonder, I wonder if what Peeta and I did last night was enough to express my feelings like that.

"Peeta we're so young, so young to have done what we did." The words escape my mouth before I could even think about what I would say. He looks at me with the same worried expression.

He offers an encouraging smile, "I know. But some people just get carried away, it's fine. Just as long as it doesn't upset us too much while thinking about it."

Carried away. Is that _his_ excuse for last night's actions?

No. Of course he wouldn't get it. He wouldn't understand that I was just expressing my love for him. I started it didn't I?

I made the move to kiss him. I positioned myself and he did the rest.

"But being carried away is a foolish thing. It can lead to lots of stupid things and consequences." I say my voice shaking a little bit.

I never thought of this happening before, never thought of being in bed with a boy and exploring (let's just call it exploring) new stuff.

A frown forms in Peeta's lips, his trying not to make me worry about it. He really is, I can tell but I can't help but worry.

Having rumours about me and Peeta sleeping in the train was fine, it targeted the Peeta we wanted to convince and it didn't bother me except for the embarrassment. Even if it was a rumour it still made me blush thinking about it. Haymitch joking about it with Prim and my Mum was easier to deal with than being interviewed about it with Caesar.

Having it happen in real life is completely different feeling. Sex is serious, it's something you do when you're committed to someone completely. But what's done is done.

And Peeta and I can't point fingers at each other because, if we knew better and didn't let ourselves her 'carried away', we could've stopped it. I could've stopped it…but I didn't.

Peeta was probably fine with it. Enjoyed it even, especially seeing how exhausted he looked while sleeping a few hours ago.

"We have every right to be serious about this but we shouldn't get scared." He says and a smile forms on his lips. When I see him smile my nervousness goes away and I start giggling. A wider grin forming on my lips.

"You probably had a good time didn't you?" I say jokingly.

Ever the good, respectful and appropriate teenage boy he is, Peeta blushes as red as a tomato. This, of course, makes me laugh even harder.

"You don't have to answer that," I continue and he lets out a breath he was most likely holding.

"I think we should get ready for the day now Peeta."

"Wait!" He grabs my waist under the covers and moves closer. "Let's just lie down a little longer. Please?"

I sigh, "You want something don't you? What is it? What do you want from me? You want a kiss, what?" I say flatly and almost demanding.

"Nothing, I just want you to lie with me because I don't want to leave the bed just yet."

"You want to kiss me don't you?" I ask in an obvious manner.

He blushes, "Well it would be really nice if…"

I roll my eyes and kiss him anyway. I just give him a soft peck, nothing special.

"Now can I get out of bed, I feel like I need a shower?"

"Can't we just lie down a little longer?"

"I really want to clean myself Peeta?" I turn my body over and them I yelp because of my tailbone. Peeta's hands are on me before I can even finish the sound, "your tailbone?"

I bite my lip and nod. "I'll be fine; I'll practice walking while I go to the shower."

"But what if it hurts and you injure yourself."

"I'm pretty sure I'll be fine, I've been resting for days!"

"You be careful then." He slurs.

"The shower's right there, I'll be fine." I'm about to sit up and take the blanket off me when I realize that I am actually naked. Peeta's seems to have seen my discomfort and says, "oh I don't care. I've seen it all anyway."

I glare at him and he looks taken aback, "yeah and that was different."

He looks at me then clicks his tongue, "fine! I'll cover my eyes while you walk to the bathroom." He says then takes a pillow and then puts it over his face. I smile at his silliness and throw the covers away from me.

I move slowly, I move my legs over the edge of the bed and slowly I try to get up. The moment I put weight on my foot my tailbone says no. I grip on the mattress cover and try again.

"Or better yet!" I hear Peeta's voice, loud and clear. I only managed to get up a few centimeters then feel back down because of Peeta. Luckily my back is to him and I turn my head to and his eyes are closed while he faces the ceiling.

"I need to take a shower as well…"

I know what he means and that's not happening, "no Peeta. No."

"I knew you were going to say that," he says sounding really disappointed. He sighs then turns around with his back to me.

I sigh at him in pity and try to stand back up. Before I do though I see my shirt on the floor and I grab it and put it on me so at least I won't feel at all uncomfortable. I try to stand but I can't, I bite my lip so that I don't scream out and worry Peeta. It's not working for me, I manage to stand up a little but I can't hold myself for so long.

"Um Peeta?"

"Hmm…"

"Could you please help me?"

I hear the blanket being thrown away, I hear him stand and shuffle around a bit then I feel his arms around me and soon he's carrying me over his shoulder to the bathroom. I feel like a pig being carried like this.

"You have a nice butt Katniss," he says in his usual joking manner.

"Don't start." I say.

Peeta slowly and gently places me down on the cold tile floors and he holds onto me while I try to stand up straight. Ever since I hurt my tailbone Peeta's done some renovations in the bathroom for me. He went down to Town one day and bought support bars that I can hold onto while I walk, he stuck one in the shower as well so that I'm holding onto something while I'm washing myself. Sometimes I get hurt standing up like that if I don't put enough weight on my arm and lean on the bars properly.

I remember how I sat in the living stuffing cheese buns in my mouth while Peeta works with a hammer and screws upstairs. He supports me until I'm leaning on the bar, after that, Peeta stands there staring at me, scratching his head in confusion. I smile when I see him half naked whit his blue boxers on, he probably put that on when he got out of bed a while ago.

"What are you thinking about?" I ask him.

"You in the shower," he says absent-mindedly then shakes his head, "what? Come again?" He asks me.

I shake my head, "never mind, close the door when you leave."

"Do you want to take a bath today? It's much easier than taking a shower and standing for so many minutes."

I have thought about taking a bath instead but the hard tile covers of the bathtub can hurt my tailbone once I am sitting on it but if I take a shower and I'm standing it's harder for me to reach things and I'm always balancing myself and finding the right position to make sure I don't hurt myself.

It's a big bathtub, I have to admit. It's white and shiny, it's a big rectangle shape but it's width is a larger for a normal rectangle. If I were to lie down there, I would have enough space for my arms and legs to stretch out in.

"Sure, let's try that today." I might as well try and get use to the pain.

"I'll get the water running," he says somewhat excited and turns the tap on on the bathtub. I stand there and watch him work.

He grabs the bottle with that special soap from the Capitol that makes bubbles. "We'll just pour this in," his voice is getting much more excited by the second. He squeezes the bottle and loads of liquid comes out.

"Well don't waste it." I tell him.

"No worries, we'll order some more."

Soon the bathroom is filled with steam and the water in the bathtub looks very, very warm. Peeta's mixing the bubble shampoo in the water, making the tub gets filled with all the foamy soap and bubbles. I stand in my usual spot, watching Peeta in adoration. He feels my stare and looks at me a wide smile in his face. Then his smile turns cheeky and I know he's going to be up to something in just a few seconds.

He stands up and I can't really see him with all these steamy smoke. It's filled with so much mist that I didn't think it was possible for a room to get this steamy. The water must be quite hot, it doesn't bother me and it will really help with the cold temperature.

"What is it Peeta? Are you done?" I ask through the fog.

I see him shake his head then he drops his boxers. Thank God there's enough mist to hide what I really don't want to see. "What are you doing?"

"I'm going to take a bath," he says as if it's the most casual thing in the world. He turns around and dips his leg in and then soon, the next one. "Ahh..." he expresses.

In no time at all he was lying down in the bathtub playing around with the foam while I stand there with an idiotic look on my face. What about me?

"I thought I was taking a bath, not you." I exclaim.

He looks at me as if he has just realized I was there. "Oh right, come on then." He gestures his hand to come to him. And I til my head a little, trying to figure out where he is going with this.

"No thanks," I answer.

"No come on. You can sit on my lap in this very warm and comforting see of water. Did I mention it was warm and it's like 3 degrees outside?"

I roll my eyes at him. "Have fun taking a bath, I'll just wait for you to finish outside and then I can have my turn." Nice and steadily I start walking with the bar to support me.

"Katniss no! Please no! Come on, please, just this once!"

"You know how I feel about all...that...naked stuff."

"Katniss please," he says that much softer this time and filled with desperation.

I sigh. _No don't Katniss... _

_Keep walking._

I feel my feet start to move. _Keep going, don't stop now._

"Katniss come on...I'm sorry I took your spot." He keeps talking that way he does and I'm so tempted to stop. I slow down though and Peeta can see that somehow, I can just feel that smile of his because he _thinks_ it's working.

Well...I'm not giving in this time.

Nope.

Absolutely not.

The water is so warm and feels so nice. I can't believe I denied just because Peeta was in the bathtub.

He's still here though and we're in the bathtub together. I'm on his lap, it doesn't seem to hurt my tailbone majorly but I tend to wince here and there,

_So much for not giving in Katniss._

"Ah, this is nice. Just you and me. In the bathtub. Together. Naked." Peeta says slowly.

"Don't, otherwise I might think that's it's too disgusting and I might leave."

"Disgusting? You didn't think that anything last night was disgusting."

"Well, that was...different," I use this as a stupid excuse.

"It's not different now, we're still naked."

"Thanks for the fact Captain Obvious."

"Captain Obvious? That's not something Katniss would say."

"People in the Capitol say that. Don't need to get serious; I was just mocking their humour."

"You do that almost all the time, "he says then kisses the top of my head. I smile and continue playing the bubbles. "These things always smell like roses," Peeta continues.

"That's a bad thing?"

"No…its- it's just, it reminds me too much of Snow…" Saying his name was enough of an explanation to my question.

"W-well suck it up, we'll be smelling like roses all day," I try to sound brave. After all these weeks of not worrying about Snow and this bounty on our heads, it was all calm and normal. Peeta was happy, I could even manage a few hours of sleep and I could look at Prim and my mother without having to freak out about losing them all the time. Now that we've thought of Snow, it will take a while to take him off our heads again and it's only a matter of time until they call about the wedding.

The Hunger Games is in 3 or 4 months time and I'm not going to be ready for it. Sometimes I think about how Peeta and I will go as mentors, I would prefer Haymitch more than me even though he's a drunk and I'm not. Even of Haymitch will be there to support us, I can only imagine the guilt that will build inside of you if those children you were mentoring died in the Arena.

The words 'Quarter Quell' pops in my head a few times when I think of the Games because this is the year for it. There's no doubt that this year will be another painful and heart-wrenching year filled with more blood, 'action' and what the Capitol citizens call 'entertainment.'

Peeta pulls me out of my thoughts when he pours water over my head and he chuckles. It's amazing how childish Peeta can be at times. At first he was all broken and we can't even look each other in the eye for a long time, we would only kiss in front of the camera and we couldn't find the right words for each other.

Now, we're having a bath together. And the most important thing is that we're happy…for now at least. Who knows what Snow's plans are for us?

Peeta continues playing with the water. The water level goes up until it's just covering my collar bone, for Peeta, however, because of how much broader and taller he is, the water covers him just around his chest. It's not really close to his shoulders, he might feel a chill every now and then but the misty bathroom makes everything much warmer.

Peeta and I spend the rest of our time in the bathroom playing with the bubbles and the water. Before I got uncomfortable about being naked Peeta put a towel around me then around himself. He had to carry and set me down again then chose my clothes. It's quite weird watching a boy act like someone's maid; I've never seen a boy so eager to do chores like that. They were made for hard work, especially with their muscles in all but Peeta's only worked in the Bakery. Unless his mum has always made him do chores and make him work non-stop.

My dad's always working, so I don't see him do a lot of house work chores because of how exhausted he is and it's our child to take care of him after being able to put food in the table.

If only my father was here now to see how Peeta has grown up. He did mess with Peeta's hair when he would trade at the Bakery.

I wonder if he ever knew about Peeta liking me, he brought him up once or twice in the woods. I can't believe that I've only remembered it now but I don't remember exactly what he had said. Only that he's a _really _nice boy for a Town merchant, seeing as he was probably 8 or 7. At that age, their selfish parents were already talking about how dirty Seam people are and I remember my dad saying that for a boy with a witch of a mother, he didn't choose to disrespect anyone below him.

My dad is right. People in District 12 are kind towards each other and we understand the pain we're all going through and how hard our lives are but there are still people who seem to pick on people who are a little bit different. We've been called them all, us Seam people I mean, we've been called trash, dirty and worthless. People still find the time to insult no matter how much we are already struggling.

"Let's not go to the Bakery today," I tell Peeta.

"Why not?"

"I mean, you can go but I would rather stay spend the day with Prim."

"But Katnis-"

"No Peeta, if you want to go to the Bakery today then go. Don't worry about me, I'll be fine."

"Like I said, who's going to carry you around?"

"We'll find a way."

Peeta seems to think about that for a second. Staring back at me with an empty look, "alright, we won't go to the Bakery today."

Now I'm confused, "What? Isn't that what you want to do? Go to the Bakery?"

"Well, not really, if you don't want to go then I'm completely fine with that."

"But we're covered in thick jackets, pants, boots and everything."

"I know, we might as well just practice your walking or something."

Why can't Peeta stop worrying about me and do what he wants?

I know that I can't change his mind until I change mine but I really, _really_ don't want to see his mother again. Who knows? She might start insulting me because I come from the Seam even though I'm a victor of the 74th Hunger Games.

"Okay then. We should go outside after being dressed all like this."

When Peeta get ready to carry me I stop him and tell him that this where I start practicing my walking with a sore tailbone. He supports me while I stand and, together, we take tiny baby steps towards the front door so that we can get out of the house. We make it to the porch and it wasn't actually that hard. It didn't hurt too much; it felt like it was just sore. Before we reached the front of the house I told Peeta to let go of me and let me try myself. I do wince here and there but I think that my walking will improve over time and soon I'll be running around the woods.

The woods. I would do anything to go there just for a few seconds. I actually miss it after being locked inside the house and eating cheese buns.

"Are you sure you'll manage?"

"I did didn't I? I managed to make it out the front porch without tripping or falling or anything."

"I don't know Katniss…we have to walk down those tiny stairs to get down from the porch you know."

I shrug at him, "so? If I hurt myself then I hurt myself. Why do have to be so against it? I mean look, the sun is out and it's not snowing or hailing today, the ground is covered in nothing but snow."

"I just don't want you to hurt yourself."

"I'm fine," I say.

Peeta and I walk around Victor's Village just so that I can get the hang of it. I haven't hurt myself yet and I haven't tripped or fall and Peeta's is getting really paranoid. If there's a rock on our way he'd kick it and he watches my steps just to be makes sure I'm not walking funny or anything.

It's sweet of him really but it's annoying to have his eyes on me all the time. As we reach what looks like that end of Victor's Village because we're very close to the surrounding fence that covers District 12, I end up with another idea.

"Can we go in the woods?" I ask Peeta.

He gives me and incredulous look, "you want to go there? What if you hurt yourself? You can't go under the fence with your tailbone acting like that."

I feel disappointed; I really do want to go out there. I don't even care if any of Snow's men are watching us right now and seeing if we're going out the fence or not. He already knows anyway, Snow shouldn't be surprised if he somehow found out that I was out in the woods, he should just expect that kind of behaviour.

I stare at the fence again and the tress beyond it. This area isn't the area that I usually exit out of when I would go hunting. It's in another side, closer to the Seam and the Town.

"Please?" I beg Peeta.

He looks at me as if he didn't expect me to say that. After, he sighs then nods slightly. "If you can't get under the fence then we're going somewhere else okay?"

"Okay." I answer and we start walking to the fence. I'm so excited that I feel like I could just run to the fence and out the woods so fast and I wouldn't even think that I have an injury. I wish I wasn't walking this slow, I just really want to reach that fence and go out into the woods.

"Peeta carry me, carry me quick."

In no time at all we're only a few meters away from the fence. With Peeta's long strides and strong arms, I feel like I'm flying. I feel really light when I'm being carried by Peeta and when he carries me it looks like I don't weigh anything at all.

We reach the fence and Peeta puts me down.

"Okay then, how are we going to do this?" He asks me.

"We go through the fence and into the woods," I tell him. It wasn't really an answer to his question, he was probably wondering how _I_ was supposed to go under the fence.

Oh screw it; I'll just go under even if it hurts me.

Before Peeta can object, I lie stomach down on the ground and go under the fence. It hurt, I have to admit but at least I got under it.

"Your turn," I say once I'm standing up and looking at Peeta through the fence lines.

"If we get caught-"

"We won't. You're a bug boy Peeta, stop being such a chicken."

"Alright." Peeta gets down on the ground and slides under the fence, it wasn't as swiftly as I've done it but he managed.

As Peeta smacks the dirt of his pants I roll my eyes, some things just never change about Towns people. They're always worrying about dirt and grime. I turn around and start walking off into the trees. I just want to run out of here, get my bow and arrows and collect game to take home where Prim will be waiting for me. Probably even check if any of Gale's snares caught anything.

Gale. These past few weeks I haven't even been able to go out on Sundays and see him. He must be so mad at me right now. I just don't want him thinking that I've thrown our friendship away; if I saw him I would gladly run and apologize. Even give him food and money if he'd accept, I haven't even gone and visited Hazel yet.

What kind of a friend am I?

Gale must feel so betrayed.

"Be careful Katniss!" Peeta yells behind me. I haven't realized how far I've gone. I smile back at him, he's walking to me, his heavy footsteps echoing through the trees and squashing the snow as he walks.

"Come on then! Hurry up!" I yell back at him. He jogs to me and he's a bit unsteady when he slows down and maybe that's because of his artificial leg.

"Where are we going?" He asks me.

I shrug and take his hand, "anywhere, I say. I start walking and the direction where facing and I take a note to not go too far so that we don't lost and then get caught by any peacekeepers.

It's really cold even though the sun is out and the sky is a clear blue color with just a few clouds looming around it. "I've never been out here, it's really nice." Peeta mumbles beside me. "If this is what you get to see everytime you go hunting then, I'm actually really jealous of you."

I smile, "it is isn't it?"

"Yeah, it's beautiful." I say softly.

I make us walk a little deeper into the woods just so that we're hidden completely. The area we're in is darker because the trees are covering the sun, it's reasonable because of the trees' size.

"Can we rest for a bit?" I say. I don't want to tell him that my tailbone is hurting because I'm pretty sure he's going to make us go back.

"It's hurting isn't it?" He says and then sighs, "Let me help you sit down."

As soon as my bum is leaning on the hard and snowy ground I cry out in pain. Peeta helps me up quickly.

"I'll sit down and you can just sit on my lap." He suggests.

Sitting on his lap still hurts me but it doesn't hurt as much as sitting on the ground. I lean on his chest and I breathe in the fresh air. I could just fall back asleep lying like this, so I close my eyes and just smell the environment around me. It's not when I smell the scent of cinnamon dill that I remember Peeta was with me.

I move my head around a bit so that I can look up at him in a comfortable position. He looks at me with a happy smile on his face but a look of confusion and hurt in his eyes.

"What is it Peeta? What's wrong?"

"What? No, nothing's wrong."

"I can see that something's wrong. There's no point lying."

He rubs the back of his neck.

"I just...I feel...I feel like I'm out of place."

"What do you mean?" I ask him.

"Um...it's just...I've never been here and everytime you have...uh...Gale was always here with you."

Right now...right now I feel nothing but regret and guilt. All Peeta knows is that _everything _we've done was just for the Games.

But it is isn't it? I shouldn't feel that bad but I still do.

Instead of saying anything, I just turn my head and look at the tree right in front of me and start playing with the snow beside our laps.

"I'm right aren't I?" He asks and all I can do is sigh. "That I don't belong here...especially with you."

I didn't realize that even with my injured tailbone I moved as fast as I did. I get off Peeta's lap and I'm standing over him, glaring at him.

"Peeta that's enough. We talked about this, about me and Gale; I don't have to go through it again." I say, my voice sharp and almost threatening - almost.

Peeta looks down at his lap, feeling guilty I presume.

"If you're going to keep complaining about that we might as well leave." I say and in a stride I start walking back to the fence.

I don't even make 5 meters until Peeta stops me.

"Katniss wait! Katniss I'm sorry!" He's right behind me and I feel him touch my arm. I shake it away.

I turn around, "No! No you're not! Because if you were you wouldn't keep bringing Gale up! I don't care if you can't help it because I don't like talking about Gale like that!" I shout at Peeta, and I mean every word and every sentence.

"If you don't feel comfortable being with me then maybe I should just leave." My voice is calmer this time and softer but I'm serious.

"No...no please Katniss don't leave," Peeta begs. "I'm really sorry. Katniss, I'm sorry."

"Whatever." I push him back "Next time you decide to start a conversation make sure you think about what you're going to say first!"

It's not until his blue eyes lose its shine and it's covered instead in guilt and sorrow that I realize how angry I got again just because he mentioned Gale. I don't like comparing Gale to Peeta especially when Gale is just a friend and Peeta...well right now, at this moment; I'm trying to find a name that will describe what he means to me. Last night it was so clear but right now, with my temper at this rate, my feelings are kind of blurry.

I manage to breathe softer this time and relax my hands so that they're not in a tight ball of fist.

Slowly, I turn around. But before I can walk Peeta catches my hand. "I'm sorry..." he chokes out.

"Why do things have to be so complicated when it comes to you and Gale Peeta? How many times have we fought about this?" I say.

"Please don't leave me." He sounds lost. His voice isn't manly or strong, it's weak and tired. I can even tell that he's scared.

My eyes close. They close and a memory comes into my mind, I can remember how his lips felt on mine, how when his lips were on my skin a wave of energy and a new sensation overcame me. Last night's memory reminds me of how much I wanted him, needed him even and how I wanted him closer even though he was close enough.

It's clear to me that I, Katniss Everdeen, have utterly and absolutely fallen in love with someone.

My biggest fear has become a reality and no matter how good it is to feel love, I'm afraid.

I turn around to look back at Peeta. The word 'Sorry' is written all over his face.

"Katniss please don't leave me...please." His voice is soft and lonely.

I only said what I said about leaving because I was angry. I'm pretty sure I didn't mean it.

Because I have calmed down, I can feel the guilt of my words rushing through me.

I shake my head, "D-don't worry. I won't, I can't just leave now anyway."

Peeta envelopes me in a tight hug. His face buried in my hair and mine in chest. "I'm sorry," he whispers.

"I'm sorry Katniss. I love you."

I pull my head back from his chest and I stare at his blue deep eyes. Any girl could fall in love with Peeta in a second if they look into his eyes.

I kiss Peeta because I want to, because I feel the need to.

When my lips leave his I don't pull my head back too far. "I-I love you Peeta. I love you and it scares the hell out of me," I say my voice barely audible.

There, I said it. I said it and there's no going back now. I said it and it wasn't in a dream, Peeta isn't sleeping and I said in the most beautiful day in winter and out in the woods where I feel at home.

The woods have given me so many things these last few years; it has given me food to put in the table, this is where I met Gale and from there on I didn't have to feel so lonely and alone because for the first time I had a friend to share jokes with, the woods have given me an escape when I feel like I can't breathe and now; one of the most notably scary and amazing moment of my life happened out here in the woods.

Peeta looks at me wide eyed, his expression unreadable but his eyes; they shine with such wonder and happiness that I can feel my legs turn to jelly.

"I'm sorry what?" I think that Peeta is finding it hard to breathe because his voice shaky and somewhat exhausted.

"I said; I love you." I say it louder this time and with more pride.

Just like my dream, his forgotten how to breathe evenly and his breathing is fast and shallow. "Peeta? Peeta are you okay?"

He nods then let's go of me. His hand clutching his chest where his heart is and his other one on his hips. I step forward, towards him, and put my hands on both cheeks and forcing him to look at me.

He still has trouble breathing and his eyes are downcast looking at me. His hands are holding my hips now in a tight grip.

"Peeta breathe with me." I take long and deep breaths, in through my nose and out through my mouth. His following my directions and a few seconds we're breathing together in unison.

Our deep breaths become quiet and shallow. When Peeta speaks, it's shaky...really shaky and I can see his eyes tearing up.

"D-D-D-D-Do you r-r-r-re-really me-mean it?"

I stand straight, puff my chest out and put my head nice and high and, proudly, I answer with the words; "Yes. Yes I do."

Peeta takes a sharp breathe in and he blinks his eyes a few times, presumable stopping his tears from flowing. "You can't be serious, that's not possible."

I feel disappointment rush through me and I frown. "Is it wrong to say I love you?" I ask him.

He looks taken aback, "I don't me-mean it like th-that. It's just- I never- I never dreamed that- that you would- you would you know, sa-say it."

"You know what? Why don't we make that a secret between you and me? Don't go telling anyway that I said I love you okay, we don't want them thinking that I only love you now. Let's just tell them that I always loved you." I say to Peeta.

"So it-it's like we're still pretending b-but we're not?" Peeta asks, his voice a bit calmer but sounding a lot more childish.

"Yeah, something like that. What we feel for each other is real..." I take Peeta's hand and start walking towards the fence and he follow absent mindedly, "everything we do feels and looks real but the crowd can judge for themselves whether it is real or not. Something has to be real right Peeta? It's not just our friendship that's real anymore; we don't need to pretend any longer because our feelings are also real." I sound like Peeta. I've never been one with words like Peeta and that doesn't mean I am now but because I feel like I'm in my wisest moments; what I'm saying sounds like something Peeta would say.

Peeta looks lost even with me holding his hand an guiding him. He's looking at me happily and looking at the trees as if he's never seen one before. I smile and I feel the need to laugh because his acting so childish.

"My mum always said that you'd never fall in love with me."

"Well your mother's wrong." I say.

He smile just about reaches his eyes, "she's wrong." He says sounding like he's confirming it.

That night our clothes end up being thrown around the room, our tongues battle with each other, our hands wildly messing up each other's hair and we move against each other with such energy. I even did my fair share of thrusting.

The words 'I love you' is at least said hundreds of times.

It's almost a miracle, how I managed to fall in love with Peeta. Maybe I loved him before I knew myself.

Peeta says my name in a way that can just about make me go crazy and want him more.

We're so breathless and tired once we've decided to call it quits. Peeta and I lie beside each other while we wait for sleep to get the better of us.

"If I can't walk tomorrow..." I say to Peeta the darkness, "It's all on you."

Peeta laughs and my heart jolts with joy. He turns his body and puts his arms around me.

"Oh I love you Katniss."

"Want me to say it?" I say.

"Please."

"Promise you won't freak out."

"I promise."

"I love you too."

And with that, Peeta's lips ravenously move against mine.

I wake up that morning with a wide grin plastered on my face. I look to my side and Peeta's not there. I try to sit up but it hurts, I get up eventually though and the throbbing pain down my legs is hard to ignore. I find myself limping around the room. My tailbone feels a little bit better now, the pain is actually manageable. I limp to the bathroom and take a shower, I find myself doing this almost every morning, I usually just take a shower to wake myself up because I'm so tired and exhausted from my nightmares.

My nightmares, for the past 3 days I don't think I've had a nightmare. But I don't think that means that they've stopped.

I change my clothes and I realize that our clothing that was all over the floor last night is all fixed, they're nowhere to be seen. They are most likely in the laundry waiting to be washed. Honestly, for a boy, Peeta is way too clean.

I'm pretty sure it took me fifteen minutes to get down the stairs because of how much my legs hurt. They feel like jelly, they don't have the energy to drag me around the house.

Peeta's in the kitchen baking some cheese buns for me I presume. I complain about my leg and how it's his entire fault and how his ruined my morning just because of it. He tries his best to 'flirt' his way out of my bad mood but I don't seem to be buying it. Prim comes over that morning too because she says that almost every day she can smell the scent of cheese buns all the way to our house and she can't ignore it. And so we eat breakfast together. Peeta and I act normal around Prim because I'm not one for showing affection in public. Even though that's what Peeta and I have been doing for the past year, faking our love for each other in front of the cameras. I can do it in front of cameras but not in front of Prim. I don't tell Prim any exact details about the past few days, I just tell her that Peeta was really taking good care of me and my fever and cold went away quicker than I thought.

Prim asks if she can take the rest of the buns home and before I can tell her that these buns are mine and start being greedy and selfish about it, Peeta tells her yes and hands the bowl to Prim who takes it thankfully and quickly skips back home.

Peeta spends the day in his art room and when I check on him I catch a full glimpse of what he has painted. He painted the woods yesterday, he didn't paint us, and instead he painted the trees, the snow on the ground and the sunlight that beams through the leaves.

He sits on his stool facing the easel and he's adding some more color to the trees. I slowly walk to him and I stand behind him. Because he's so concentrated when painting that I don't think he can feel my presence.

I can't keep my eyes off his painting, I love the woods and we've painted it together a few times but I have never seen it like this before. It's so beautiful and so real.

I bend down and put my my arms around his neck and lean my cheek on his shoulder. He jumps a little at my touch but soon I can see his smile forming on his cheek.

"Hey," he greets.

"It's amazing Peeta. Just like every single one of your paintings." I give his cheek a kiss and he turns his head to kiss my lips.

He puts his hand on my cheek and drops his brush. "I'm done." He says straight after his lips leave mine.

"No you just want to kiss me." I say and he stands up, he takes both my hands in both of his and starts walking us out of the room. "I think you should continue your painting."

"I can do it another time." He says and we're outside of his art room, he closes the door and that same cheeky grin is on his face. He pushes me against the wall and kisses me fully on the mouth.

I giggle in between our kisses because his fingers tickle my waist. I feel the stubble on his jaw and I can't help somehow savour the feeling. "You need to shave Peeta," I say softly.

He shrugs, "It doesn't bother me, I think it's time that I should try to grow a beard anyway."

I kiss his nose. "Come on. Let's go try and find something better to do." I say.

He kisses my neck before he lets go and I walk away from him and he dawdles behind me.

The following couple of months leading up to the Quarter Quell announcement is usually just talk about our wedding. Effie and our prep teams visit with wedding dresses.

Not a lot of them are actually my type, well, I don't think any of them are but they do look nice. Peeta, Prim and my mother sit patiently and watch my photo shoot. Peeta and Prim, especially, looked like they enjoyed watching because of the way their eyes shone. Peeta couldn't keep his eyes off and he at least annoyed us because he keeps complimenting and we get tired of it.

The first time I decided to hunt after my injury, I met two ladies from District 8. They about a possible District 13 and I couldn't get my mind to settle down about that.

The Quell announcement almost broke me to pieces. Peeta and I watched the announcement down at my house with Prim and my mother. As soon as I processed what Snow announced I ran out of the house, broke the window in one of the houses in the Victor's Village, and curled myself into a ball in a corner and I that's when I let my tears fall.

And that's where I am right now. Crying because this is just as much as I can take.

I don't want to go back to the arena. I don't want Haymitch to and I really don't want Peeta to go back as well.

I love him.

And I can't stand the thought of him not being next to me, my hand will be freezing without his around me, my lips will be dry if his isn't moving against mine and my heart will be empty without him.

And in that second Peeta kicks the door open and I hold my ground. I press my knees tighter to my chest and bite my lip so that I don't make a horrible choking sound. I don't want Peeta to find me because I don't want to show him how weak I am right now. He have a couple of weeks leading up to the reaping and the Games and I want to be strong and show Peeta that no matter how hard things are going to get, we can face it with our heads held high.

I, for sure, am going back to the arena. But Peeta, it's either him or Haymitch.

"Katniss! Katniss I know you're in here!" His voice echoes through the empty house.

His heavy footsteps get louder as he gets closer to me. I keep my head down to my chest as Peeta gets closer.

"Oh Katniss..." His voice is soft and sweet like it is all the time.

I look up and Peeta is crouching in front of me, his eyes shining with tears even though it's dark.

Straight away, my arms go around his neck and Peeta pulls me up on his lap. We sit on the floor wrapped around each toher. "Hey...it's going to be fine. It will. You'll win this year's Game. I just know it, and you know what, I'm going to be there to protect you-"

"Peeta n-no!" I choke out. I lean my head back and shake my head. He wipes my tears as I continue to shake my head. "Peeta no! No!"

"Shh…" Peeta holds me tight and I sob into his jacket. "It's going to be fine. You're going to be fine," his voice is breaking but he sounds fine, he kisses my temple and starts rubbing my back.

This is what I was afraid of about falling in love. It either makes of breaks a person, it broke my mother when she lost dad and now…

I'm scared to lose the people I love. It's better off if Peeta lives rather than me.

"Peeta, you're going to be f-fine. I-if you do g-get reaped, you're g-going to wi-win."

"You have your mother and Prim who doesn't want you to die, you little Posy who looks at you as her older sister and Gale. They're going to be devastated if you ever leave them. Katniss they need you."

I shake my head, "Please don't-"

He pulls me closer to him, "No I'm right and you know it. If I live and you die, my life is absolutely nothing. As for you, after a few months you'll forget about me. I'll be nothing but a boy with blonde hair that likes to paint and bake, to you. I will mean nothing more than that." He voice is shaky but he's keeping his ground. As for me, tears fall as his words form. "And then, and then you- you'll go off and fall in love all over in love again. Who knows, you might end up marrying Gale. Maybe it was him all along you know Katniss, maybe I was just a road block to stop you and Gale from being together." He continues and I shake my head vigorously; repeating the word 'no' over and over again.

"Then if it happens, you'll have little babies with him. Just imagine the look on Prim's face when she realizes she's going to be an auntie." He says and he chokes right after, he might be crying already but he's trying to keep his voice nice and smooth. "You have a bright future without me Katniss, its better off I die than you."

My grip around his neck loosens and I pull my head back, he continues to wipe my tears away but they keep on coming.

How can Peeta say something like that?

"Y-yo-yo-you d-don't love me-me do you?"

"No no no no no, Katniss it's not like that."

I slap him across the face, "Liar! You-you're lying! Because if you loved me then you wouldn't say something like that!" I try to loosen his grip around me so that I can get off his lap but he holds me tightly.

"Katniss I love you, I love you more than I do so myself. I cherish you more than my own life." He says softly.

"No! Why would you make up something like that?"

"That's just it Katniss, because I love you. You have to live Katniss, if not for yourself then for me. After I die after a while I'll be nothing but a memory to you, nothing but a boy you used to know."

No. Peeta can't be serious. I keep shaking my head, "No! No! No I can't! I can't and I won't!"

He presses his forehead against mine and continues to wipe my tears away with his thumb, "You will win this year's Game Katniss. I'll do everything I can to make sure you will, I'll- " That's when Peeta chokes and lets his tears fall but he doesn't stop talking, "I'll pr-protect you fr-from anyone and I will d-die trying."

"W-well two can p-play at that Game." I say, sounding a bit childish. I want Peeta to live even though he wants me to. If he's going to protect me then I should do the same for him, I'm going to make he gets out of that arena alive.

I know that right now, even if Haymitch gets reaped that Peeta will volunteer to take his place. One of us will die in the arena or maybe even both of us.

"I don't have a reason to live if I don't have you Katniss. At least I got to feel your lips against mine and I was able to hold you, which was one of my biggest wish to fulfil before I die. I made that wish years ago and it's come true now, there's nothing else for me to do but to love you Katniss. And nothing, I mean nothing, will ever _ever _change that. Without you my life is pointless."

I start getting the hiccups, I can still convince Peeta for him to live instead of me, there's still time. "I love you Peeta…" Out of heartbreak, those words come out.

Peeta kisses my forehead and my head goes back to lie on his chest, "You're going to live Peeta. You will. You're going to have the future you've always wanted; where you're going to be happy, where you're going to be back working at the Bakery and you might own it one day, and you can have children you know. As many as you want and they're going to look just like you."

"You know I…I finally though that we were going to have a future together, where there's no Hunger Games and…and we could- we could have children of our own. Running around the house calling you 'Mummy.' I thought that maybe you know…that could happen. Looks like life has other plans."

Peeta and I stay like that, wrapped around each other. Wiping each other's tears and holding each other tight enough to let them know that right now, we shouldn't try to worry. That right now we can still imagine a future that we could have together that we know isn't going to happen.

But right now, in the darkness, our hearts are finally beating as one. Our love for each other visible in our eyes. I fall asleep protected in Peeta arms, tired from crying and my eyes sore from crying.

"I love you," Peeta whispers before his lips touch my forehead and I see complete darkness and fall into a deep slumber. A sleep away from the Game, away from Snow, away from all that battles we fight. A sleep we're I can only dream about Peeta and I, where we're walking down a green meadow hands together. Prim holding onto out children's hands as they follow us behind and there are no Games to scare me from losing them.

But I can only dream.

I can only dream.

* * *

_And we know what happens next...they go to the Game, Katniss makes the arena explode, she become the Mockingjay, Peeta gets hijacked, they defeat that Capitol, they grow together and they live happily ever after. But...there are worse games to play._

_Sadly, this was the last chapter of the story and I am happy to say that this story is COMPLETE. It has been a privilege writing for you people these last few months._

_I missed some things out that happened in between the return from the Victory Tour and the Quarter Quell reaping because I didn't want to add them in. This is a fanfiction any ways. Let's just assume some things happened but not the Gale being whipped bit._

_I tried to add Haymitch in but it didn't fit. I wanted him there just for a bit of humour but it didn't work out. I'm happy about how it turned out though, hopefully this chapter didn't leave you disappointed. if so, review below._

_Some things that you recognize from the books are not mine and not my words. Please leave what you think in the review box below._

_Thank you so much for taking some time to read. Keep me in your author's list because I might write other stories, after a few months maybe. I don't know. I'll find the time._

_Thanks again! Lots of love!_

RestlessIdeas


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